


Losing Leo

by Emerald_Leaves



Series: Across the Universe [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Confusion, Drama, Elements of 2003 TMNT, F/M, Future Sci-Fi Mumbo Jumbo, Gen, Girls Being Bros, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Up Alien Stuff, M/M, Mystery, Raphael-centric, Romance, Soap Opera worthy, Torture, Turtle Tots, Turtlecest, War, mention of MPREG, re-imagined characters, seriously, space travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:17:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 120,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9200612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Leaves/pseuds/Emerald_Leaves
Summary: Raphael comes to find that his feelings for Mona Lisa aren't what he'd thought they were. But when he tries to get back what he'd once had with Leonardo, he discovers that he might be too late.Reader's Choice Awards First Place for Best Portrayal of a Canon Ally - April





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea I thought I'd put out there, (I blame AristaStarfyr's wonderful influence and Sakycchan's lovely art!!) because I'm a sucker for the melodramatic. 
> 
> Tags are subject to change/additions later on.

Leonardo stared at his younger brother, face set in a grim, tight mask of restraint. His arms were hung at his sides, mind consciously active in not clenching his fists in an attempt to keep his temper. And tears. “Are you sure about this, Raph?” he asked not for the first time since they’d arranged for the Fugitoid to pick them up. “Are you absolutely sure? Because this isn’t the same as wanting to –”

“For the last time, _yes_!” Raphael snarled green eyes flashing. “I ain’t some kid that can’t make decisions, Leo.”

The older turtle’s lips thinned as he eyed his brother. He knew Raph wasn’t a kid anymore. He knew very well. But the thought of watching him go, of potentially never seeing him again…it hurt. It hurt so badly, the leader thought his heart would shatter completely. With each minute they got closer and closer to the rendezvous point, he felt a little piece of his heart chip away, impaling him with harsh bitter pangs of regret and sorrow.

But this was Raphael’s choice. No one could make it for him, not even Leo. If this is what his brother wanted, the older turtle knew he couldn’t stand in his way. As much as he desperately wanted to, wanted to cling on to Raph and never let go, to weep and beg him to stay, he knew he couldn’t. Because one could only tame fire so long before it either died or raged uncontrollably.

Looking away, emotions getting the better of him, Leo nodded. “I know,” he admitted softly.

The two turtles stood in oppressive silence together for only a moment before Raphael moved. Blue eyes shifted up, watching the bulkier ninja take a step forward. And then another. Until Raph was directly in front of his brother.

The elder stood stock still, unable to control the furious beating of his heart against his plastron. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way, especially at a time like this, but when Raphael stopped and tilted his chin up, Leonardo felt his eyelids slide close. When he felt that hot, insisted mouth on his own, the tension snapped, and he wrapped his arms around the thick neck, desperate for more. It was so wrong, especially now, but he couldn’t stop. It would be the last time he would ever get to do this.

So he allowed himself to melt into the moment. Allowed himself to be kissed and kiss in return. This was the end for them. Leonardo had little doubt about that.

The heady stench of lust wafted between the pair, and before Leo knew what was happening, he was against the wall. As his shell hit, jarring him back to reality, only then did he push against his brother, pulling away.

“Wait,” he gasped as Raph bit along his neck. “Wait. Raph. Stop. What about Mona –?”

“One more time, Leo,” the other turtle rumbled, his teeth sinking just a little bit deeper, causing the older ninja to moan. “One more.”

And while he knew it was wrong, knew that he was only setting himself up to hurt all the more in the end, Leonardo surrendered. Because he wanted this so badly. He wanted it all. Wanted it every day until the end of time. He wanted Raphael, never wanted to let go.

But he would have to. In the morning, he would have to. He would have to stand back watching as the brother whom he loved walked out of his life forever. Watch as Mona Lisa took him away to keep by her side. Because Raphael loved her. And Leo wouldn’t stand in their way.

The two turtles ended up in Raph’s bed, the desperate need of release palpable. They fucked long and hard, both knowing it would be the last time. And as Leo gave himself up to his brother, he couldn’t stop the pain in his heart as he thought of all the wasted years, all the time and devotion he’d dedicated to his brother, only to come to this moment. To be forced to allow another to take him away. He wouldn’t stop Raph from leaving, but Leo wished there had been a way he could have fought to keep him.

And as his brother fell into dream, Leo could not sleep, and instead held onto Raphael one last time as he slumbered, memorizing every detail of his brother that he could. And much too soon, it was time to get up, the quiet hours of night gone away. Leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss to his lover’s forehead, he whispered the truth for the first and last time. “I love you.”

Without stirring the younger turtle, he got up and prepared for the worst day of his life, putting on a smile along with his bandana.


	2. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made to return to Earth.

Green eyes swept out over the alien horizon, narrowed and critical. It wasn’t that long ago that he had been locked in fierce combat, fighting for his life against creatures he never could have imagined as a child. Hideous bear-like monsters with claws as sharp as steel and hides as tough as bronze. It had not been easy, but in the end, he and his Salamandrian comrades had come out victorious over the invaders. Another notch could be added to his belt.

“Raphael.”

Turning, the turtle saw his commander limping towards him. It was not Sal-Commander, the male that he had gotten to know a little bit in his youth and respected. This was Commander G’Rothma, and unlike Sal-Commander, G’Rothma was harsher, less refined, and unfortunately had a temper to rival the turtle’s own. Whenever they were together, it was like mixing toxins, everyone waiting expectantly for an explosion.

Raising an eye-ridge at the Salamandrian, Raphael crossed his arms over his plastron and stared at his commanding officer. Although _his_ commanding officer was being generous. Technically speaking Raph was more of a free agent than an actual jarhead in the Salamandrian military – a private agent, so to speak, though there were instances when he had to listen to the ranking officers. There were times when he had to play nice and follow along with the other pawns in the army.

But Raph didn’t like those instances. Despised them with every fiber of his being. Because in his mind, there was only one being in the galaxy that could order him around, and it wasn’t this joker.

When the commander came to a stop before the turtle, it was clear to see his agitation, his tail thrashing to a fro. “Why did you not report in after the battle?”

“Uh, because I didn’t want to?”

It was never smart to make G’Rothma angry. Everyone knew that. But then, Raphael had always been a bit slow with the uptake. And notoriously bad at listening to good advice.

The Salamandrian growled deep in his throat, a low ‘ _Rokka_ _Rokka’_ even managed to slip out. But after snarling for a few moments, the commander regained some control of himself. “ _All_ agents are to report in. Especially after battle, terrapin,” he spat. “I expect you in my quarters for debriefing later this evening.”

And with an angry swish of his tail, the commander stalked off, not seeing the middle finger salute Raphael gave him as he departed. ‘A sign of respect’ Raphael had told the commander at one time. G’Rothma didn’t need to know what kind of respect. The commander was catching on, anyway.

“That was unwise.” Turning once more, the turtle found Mona Lisa walking over to him. Her expression betrayed amusement as much as chastisement. “You may not like him, but Commander G’Rothma deserves your respect.”

“Hasn’t earned it,” the turtle grunted as he met the other half way. Together they made for the beam-out point. “Bloated buffalo,” he murmured under his breath, unable to stop the pang against his heart at the unintentional thought of his youngest brother.

Mona hummed, a trait she’d picked up from the turtles, before she stared at Raph. “All the same. I would not wish for you to get into any _more_ trouble.”

The turtle shrugged, but didn’t answer. He knew full well he was on thin ice. The _last_ time they’d been in battle chasing off the Tardulian squatters, he’d had to go before the military tribunal to explain his actions. Despite walking out of that lovely little potential disaster with a medal or two, he wasn’t eager to repeat the lectures he’d gotten because of it. He'd come to learn that despite their love of battle, the Salamandrians weren’t as use to gambling and taking chances as Raphael was. Surprisingly they were more cautious, not eager to take big risks if they didn’t have to.

That was something they were having to learn with Raphael. Despite pushing it to where even his brothers would be uncomfortable at times, as part of a ninja team, Raph had been used to gambling. _A lot_. Just about every plan they’d ever followed was a huge risk, never sure what the outcome would truly be. While always accusing Leonardo of being slow with deliberation, the older turtle had always come up with good plans, even while taking gambles most people would never dream of. Although when it came to Leonardo, especially the older they got, it appeared as though the leader could anticipate and manipulate events, see to it that the outcome happened almost exactly as he wished.

Before the longing in his heart could get the better of him, Mona Lisa’s voice ordering for their beam up chased the darkness from his mind. The turtle gazed out over the foreign expanse one last time before it was gone, and he was once more on the ship that had served as his home for the year. Wordlessly he followed Mona until they came to her cabin.

When they were locked away together, the turtle flopped down in the chair he’d come to think of as his own, while Mona left to change out of her battle-dirty suit. It took only a few minutes before she returned in what had always reminded Raphael of a bathrobe.

“Your thoughts are far from here,” she observed, sitting down on her bunk.

Glancing over at the beautiful Salamandrian that he had claimed as his girlfriend, the turtle felt himself relax, even as the now familiar bitter twist of guilt seeped into his stomach. “Yeah,” he admitted, slumping down further into the chair. It was pointless to lie to her.

She nodded, taking her time in observing him, before casually replying, “It has nearly been one complete year since you have been with us on this expedition.”

“…Yeah.”

A year out in space. It wasn’t exactly something Raphael had ever imagined for himself, even when he’d first encountered aliens. Space travel was pretty grueling – sickening if the gravity was on the fritz. But he’d gotten used to it. Gotten used to a lot of things he used to hate. Like being away from his brothers.

The idea of going had been pitched to him over a year ago, when the Fugitoid had contacted Donnie about having created a better mode of cross dimensional communication. It had allowed Raph to contact Mona more frequently and with better quality messages. It no longer took months to get a reply to a simple message, it only took a few days, sometimes hours. And better still, when she’d told him she was ‘not too far from Earth’ he’d longed for the opportunity to see her again. Because back then, when he was a little younger, a little stupider, he’d believed her to be the perfect creature. His hope for freedom, his best shot at being truly happy. At being _normal_.

Eventually it came about that arrangements were made for him to travel with her on her last contracted assignment before she had the choice to reenlist or move on with her life. In that time, Raphael would be given not only the chance to stay with her, see her every day and get to know her better, he would also have the opportunity to prove that he was worthy of her. It was the Salamandrian culture, tradition that dated back to the time of the beginning, that a warrior would fight for the right to take his beloved as mate.

It was the perfect opportunity, the perfect timing, the perfect _everything_. Things at home had started to get…tense. The static between he and Leonardo had become almost too much to bear. The strain of their secret… _arrangement_ pulling them apart. They should have never started it, should have never even been tempted to try. But it had happened. It had been happening for _years_ , and was finally getting too weighty to hide.

So Raphael had run. He could admit that now. He’d seen a chance and took it. His affection for Mona Lisa was genuine and real, but it hadn’t taken long after leaving his brothers behind that the turtle realized perhaps that affection wasn’t what he’d thought it was. His admiration for the Salamandrian never diminished, but he came to understand very quickly that it wasn’t exactly what he’d thought it had been either.

During the course of the year he had tried to get closer to Mona Lisa. Desperately. While not allowed to actually _mate_ with her, Mona unwilling to break tradition, Raph found himself not quite able to care. The fact that she wanted to wait should have stirred some impatience within him, should have _at least_ had him grumbling to himself at night. But it didn’t. Instead, a profound sense of relief had washed over him when she’d told him of her desire to wait, and he’d gone to bed at night confused and ashamed for his reaction.

A few months in to the expedition and the dreams started. While with Mona, seeing her lovely face every day, the nights belonged to Leonardo. Every time Raph closed his eyes when he was alone, when he had time to himself, blue eyes and jade scales invaded his mind. The long, muscular limbs, the spark of challenge in oceanic eyes. The way the older turtle had thrashed and wreathed against him. The way he moved with Raphael, his mewls and cries of ecstasy.

There were times when Raphael missed his brother to the point of physical pain. And nothing he did could rid him of that pain. It might dull at points, when his mind was busy and focused on some task or other, but it never left. And when he had time to sit, to _think_ , that pain rushed back, heavier and worse than before.

At one time he’d pushed himself on Mona as much as he could, as much as she would allow, hoping to restore the ardor he’d believed himself to hold for her. They’d done everything save have sex together, but nothing stoked the true flame of desire between them. Halfway through the year, both knew that this venture would not pan out as they had once believed, but it took until they had been out nine months before both admitted to feeling nothing for one another save close friendship. A deep respect and love, but it was not romantic. The feelings simply were not there.

Raph hadn’t told anyone about it, nor did he believe Mona had either. Their private love affairs were their own business, and thankfully the Salamandrians were not nosey in such matters. They kept to themselves and were respected for it. Perhaps it was simply their way, or perhaps it was due to everyone seeing how the once hopeful romance had sputtered and died before it ever began. Either way, Raph was glad it wasn’t a subject of conversation amongst the crew – at least out in the open.

And knowing that it was truly over between them, knowing that Mona felt the same, the invasion of Leonardo in Raph’s thoughts doubled. He wondered what his eldest brother was doing, if he still cared for him. They had not exactly parted on the best of terms, having argued and fought for days as the Fugitoid took them to the rendezvous point with the Salamandrians, his brothers having accompanied him that far. And that final night, unable to help himself, having seen the true hurt in his older brother’s eyes at the thought of him leaving, Raph had believed it cruel to simply go and not look back at what they had once had. He’d slept with Leo that final night in what he’d once thought was out of pity, but later realized because he’d wanted it, too. He’d _needed_ to. It was as though his subconscious had known all along that Mona Lisa was not the one for him. That his true desire was for his brother.

And that’s exactly what had propelled Raphael into this mess. The fear of wanting, _needing_ Leonardo. Loving your brother – by blood or not – was simply not right. It was sick. A twisted lust. That’s what his affair with Leo had been. It wasn’t _real_.

But as the months trickled on without the older turtle, Raph had come to understand that perhaps it _had_ been real. Real enough that he missed Leo. Truly and deeply missed him. The pain in his chest, in his heart, could never ease unless his brother was beside him again. Even if Leo hated him for the rest of their lives, never wanted to have what they’d once shared together ever again, it would be okay. As long as Leo was just _with him_.

“There are a few more weeks to this mission,” Mona continued as if Raph hadn’t spaced out at all. He appreciated her patience more than anything. “Afterwards my assignment is done, as is your contract. I’ll ask the commander to take us somewhere for the Fugitoid to pick us up.”

Raph snapped his head up. “What?”

“You wish to return home, do you not?”

The two locked eyes, and as the seconds ticked by, Raph offered a small smile to his onetime girlfriend. “Yeah. I do.”

The Salamandrian smiled back. “Good. Now, you should leave. Clean up. You stink of Tardulian filth.”

The turtle smiled wider as he stood and kissed her cheek soundly. “Thanks, Mona.”

“Go,” she batted him away playfully. “We must rest for tomorrow. It will undoubtedly be another rousing day.”

The small smile turned into an evil smirk. “Oh, I’m countin’ on it.”

And as he bid a final farewell to his friend, Raph went to his own quarters, feeling more relaxed and hopeful than he had in quite some time. Because in a few weeks, he would finally be going _home_.


	3. Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Mona Lisa are picked up by the Fugitoid.

“Stop fidgeting.”

Raph turned a glared up at Mona Lisa, but she glared right back. They had been in the space port for over an hour waiting for Professor Honeycutt to meet them, and slowly the anticipation was eating the turtle alive. He didn’t _want_ to wait anymore. He wanted to go home!

“Drink your beverage,” the Salamandrian Lieutenant nodded towards his glass.

Narrowing his eyes at her before throwing daggers at the U’v’tilaz brandy in front of him, Raph fought with himself not to snap at her. Because it wasn’t Mona’s fault he was edgy. Nervous. Despite wanting nothing more than to go home, to see his father and brothers again…he never wanted to face them or their judgement. Their disappointment and sorrow. The entire year he’d been away, he hadn’t exactly taken the time to communicate with them, despite the improvements the Fugitoid and Donnie had made.

Unable to help himself, Raph pulled out his modified T-phone and turned it on for the first time since leaving just over a year ago. Immediately a billion texts and almost as many missed calls popped up on his screen. A lump formed in his throat as he stared at the tiny screen, wondering what his family thought of him. A year away from home, and never once had he tried to get in touch.

While he knew it was a bad idea, he started scrolling through the missed messages. Not unsurprisingly, the majority of them had come from Mikey. Next was Donnie. It was sort of surprising to see that his genius brother had taken the time to text him as much as he had. Honestly, Raph figured eventually the turtle would stop as it became apparent his elder brother wasn’t answering. But the last message from his immediate younger brother had been a few months ago. There were some from Casey, a few from April, too. There were even some from Miwa and Sensei.

It was too difficult to actually click the messages. Raph had no desire to actually read what his brothers and the rest of the family had tried to talk to him about. It would hurt, and the guilt would eat at him the entire trip to Earth. But he stared at the number of missed messages from them, saddened by the fact that he’d been so thoughtless, he knew it had probably been for the best in the long run. Even though in his quest to forget and move on from one brother, he’d probably damaged his relationship with the others.

Glancing through the texts, it was discovered that the particular brother he had deliberately been trying to forget had only texted him _once_. In the entire year that Raphael had been gone, after everything they had been through together, Leonardo had only ever sent him _one_ text. There were no calls.

Curiosity got the better of him as he stared at Leo’s name, and despite knowing he shouldn’t, Raph clicked on the message. He immediately regretted it.

It had been sent almost a year ago. Actually, only about a month or two after Raph had left them, and they had probably gotten back to Earth. It was simple. Only three words long, but enough to break his heart.

_I miss you._

The tears standing in his eyes took the turtle by surprise. As did the heart break. Because while he’d been out here distracting himself, doing something he loved doing, his brothers – _Leo_ – had been on Earth sitting. Waiting. Wondering. And Raphael had never given them a sign that he was coming back. Ever.

What did they think of him now?

“Raphael?”

Blinking back into reality, the young warrior turned to stared into the concerned green eyes of his dearest friend. There was a pitying, but understanding expression on her face as she regarded the turtle kindly. “Perhaps you should finish your drink,” she encouraged once more, voice soft.

Grunting, Raph quickly stashed his phone in his belt and took up the brandy. It probably wasn’t smart to drink the whole thing in one go, but he did it anyway. The maroon liquor burned all the way to his gut, but Raph embraced the fire. He needed something to snap him out of the depression that was slowly starting to choke the life out of him. The hopelessness of never being forgiven was faded to the background of his mind.

Sighing once he felt as though he wouldn’t start coughing and embarrass himself, Raph leaned back and eyed Mona up and down. “Ya don’t gotta come with me ta Earth if ya really don’t wanna,” he offered not for the first time.

“I’ve got time before I must make a decision to reenlist,” she shrugged, another trait she’d picked up from Raphael. “Besides, I have never once been to your Earth. I would very much like to see where it is you grew up.”

Another pang of nostalgia hit the turtle, and he had to look away for a moment. “Huh…guess ya haven’t, have ya?” He frowned, the liquor making his head a little fuzzy. “Well, don’t ‘spect much. Ain’t the Ritz, ya know? Fuckin’ lived in the _sewers_ …Ya have sewers on Salamandria?”

Mona gave him a flat look, before she smiled and nudged him playfully. “You are intoxicated,” she accused. “You know perfectly well that we do.”

Raphael grinned before waving the bartender for another round. He knew all about Salamandria. He’d been there a few times over the course of the year, in between missions. He’d even met Mona’s parents at one point. Thankfully it had been within the last few months, so he was introduced only as a friend and fellow warrior and not as a ‘potential mate.’ That would’ve made things a lot more awkward in the future if he ever visited again. Having to explain why he was no longer interested in their daughter that way.

“Ain’t drunk,” he denied, eagerly taking up the new brandy that was set in front of him. “Not yet.” But that was the goal.

“If you are…apprehensive about your return, you should not be,” Mona offered quietly. “Your family will welcome you home with open arms after your battle tour.”

“Ain’t the same on Earth as it is on yer home planet,” Raph sighed, wondering why he was explaining this again. He’d thought Mona understood that New York was hardly a militaristic state.

“I have heard of your own warriors. They receive adulation upon their return,” she countered.

“Some do, sometimes,” he admitted, although he didn’t feel like clarifying once more that he and his brothers never had, nor ever would experience such a triumph. “But this ain’t like that. I ditched ‘em. They’re prolly pissed as hell at me.”

Mona’s scowl was frightening. “You did not ‘ditch them,’” she glared at the turtle, challenging him to contradict her. “This was a planned tour that they knew of well in advanced. If they are angry with you for that, it is not your fault.”

“’S not that,” Raph moaned, buzzed enough now to admit a carefully guarded secret. “‘S just…I ain’t exactly…talked ta ‘em – at _all_ – since I left.”

That had the Salamandrian snapping her jaws shut. Big green eyes were wide before narrowing furiously. “You never contacted them?” she hissed, causing the turtle to smile weakly at her. “You told me you corresponded weekly with them – or at least bi-weekly.”

“Yeah,” Raph rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. “That…wasn’t true,” he admitted.

“Why?” Mona snapped. “Why would you not wish to contact your family? You love them.”

“Yeah,” Raph felt himself shutting down as he drank his brandy, mind unbiddingly pulling up images of Leonardo. “I do.”

The spell was broken when Mona sighed heavily through her nostrils, her tail thrashing in agitation. “ _Rokka, Rokka_! You are foolish, Raphael,” she snarled. “You create so many of your own problems.”

While the chastisement stung, the turtle couldn’t help but bark out laughter at the truth of the statement, but responded with, “You would know, wouldn’t ya? Whadda ‘bout that time on Quagitlar –?”

Now her turn to be embarrassed, Mona sliced the air with her raised palm. “Enough of this,” she snapped, even as Raph continued to laugh. He needed a laugh. Needed the release.

The two eventually fell into a tense silence, neither speaking, even as Raph sat with a stupid smirk on his face to hide the pain, while Mona glared at the counter top of the bar. But before either could offer up an apology or another subject, there was a bustle from behind. Turning around, they watched as the Fugitoid made his grand entrance.

“There you are!” he cried, rushing over to the pair. “Raphael! Y’Gythgba! So very good to see you both again. _Boop!_ So very, very good!”

Neither warrior was allowed to defend themselves before the android pulled them both into a spontaneous hug. The two biological creatures shared an uncomfortable glance, before they were blessedly released. “It has been a long time, my friends,” the professor babbled before quickly turning and started to walk back towards the door. “Long way to go, lots to do. Come along then!”

Once more Mona and Raph shared a look before they paid for their drinks and followed after the excited android. Apparently he was working on some big project or other that Raph only half listened to, relying on Mona to give the polite attention. Now that he was standing and walking, the brandy was really starting to kick in, and he felt himself getting dizzy. Shouldn’t have drank those so fast. Live and learn!

But when they boarded the Fugitoid’s ship, the turtle felt himself sober a bit when he was led to the exact room he had spent his last night in with Leonardo. Because at the time, due to conservative space, the brothers had to bunk up together. Donnie always got the short end of the stick and was forced to room with the hyperactive Michelangelo. Leo had offered to room with the youngest at first, but after some terrible excuse about not wanting to be kept up by Donnie’s reading or tinkering all night, Raph had bullied his way into Leo’s room. And bed.

Sighing as he set his stuff down, sitting on the bed, Raph ran his fingers over the covers. Irrationally he picked up the pillow, breathing in deeply. Closing his eyes, desperate to catch any remnant of his lover’s scent, Raph ended up throwing the pillow away with violent force. Of course it had been washed. There was nothing left on it save the sterile scent of whatever the Fugitoid or his machines used to wash it.

The room looked exactly as he remembered, and yet so different. The atmosphere quiet as the grave. There was no warmth.

Getting up, the turtle made sure to go back on deck, finding the Fugitoid piloting them towards his home planet. For a moment he studied the android that had been rather close to his family for the last several years. The thought of asking him how his family was doing crossed his mind, but was ultimately discarded. The Fugitoid didn’t seem to realize that Raph hadn’t been keeping in touch, and he didn’t want to have to explain why that was. He already had Mona to worry about, anyway.

“Oh! Raphael,” the android greeted cheerily when he took note of the turtle looming at the door. “I believe we’ll be arriving at Earth tomorrow evening.”

“Great,” the turtle nodded, wondering if he should leave or stay with the Fugitoid. After an awkward pause, he shuffled forward, stopping by his old station and sitting down. In the past he’d always ended up working with Mikey here. So Donnie could do his mojo, Leo being the calmest of them, sat beside the genius.

“So…” Raph decided to give another shot at conversation. Because listening to geek-speak was better than being alone with his thoughts. “Ya been up to anythin’ interesting lately?”

And just like he knew would happen, the android took off into an elaborate explanation of all the jobs he was currently commissioned for and projects he was doing ‘just for fun.’ While both would probably argue against it, the Fugitoid was a lot like Donnie. Both excitable and complete and total nerds that often got lost in their own heads. Noting the similarities left Raph once more homesick, only this time worse than he ever had been. Because now that he was suddenly surrounded by the familiar, it made him that much more impatient to get home.

Eventually, just before he thought he might have to murder the android to shut him up, Mona came onto the deck. He shot her a warning glare, which had the Salamandrian smirking. “Greetings,” she broke the stream of chatter, thus saving the oblivious android.

Thankfully, with Mona there, the three could actually have a conversation, and Raphael could finally relax. He was eventually given a job – unnecessary though it was, he threw himself into it – watching the monitor for asteroids since they’d be encountering a known field soon. When Mona came and sat beside him, she whispered very low, “Don’t think I’m not still mad at you.”

Damn. He should have known better than to have believed she had forgotten about being pissed. Because if there was one thing that Raphael had come to know about his ex, it was that she prized loyalty towards family above all else. And the fact that he’d been blatantly lying to her about communicating with his family didn’t exactly endear him to her.

Shifting his eyes over to her, he saw the tightly controlled face, before turning back to his task. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he muttered back, actually feeling a little better. Because if she was still talking to him, it was a good sign.

When there was nothing left for him to do for a while, the turtle found himself staring out the viewer. He almost expected to see Leo standing there, looking out at the stars as they whizzed by, a big dopy smile on his face, blue eyes sparkling as he no doubt allowed himself to pretend he was in some kind of _Space Heroes_ adventure. That peaceful, truly happy expression that had not been seen for the last few years…

Sighing, Raph turned back to his screen. There was no point in worrying himself or revisiting the past. The future was troublesome enough without creating more problems. And with that thought in mind, he decided to focus on the present. He would figure out a way to beg Leo’s forgiveness later.


	4. Mutual Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Mona have a heart to heart.

They were currently an hour from Earth and Raph felt like he was going to throw up. The nearer they got to his home planet, the more agitated he became. How would his family react when the prodigal son returned? The same son and brother who had ignored them for a _year_?

Raph was currently in his room, pacing. He was supposed to be sleeping but hadn’t managed on the trip. Every time he laid down in bed, he thought of Leo, yearning for his older brother’s body beside him, his cold feet curled around his legs, sucking the warmth out of Raph. Even the annoying nagging lectures were missed. Actually, he was sort of hoping that he was in for a doozy when he got home. No doubt Fearless had some choice words to bitch at him about keeping in contact.

But while Leo was the major focus, he also feared what his father would say. Because while Splinter had allowed them to grow up largely independent, the ninja master still worried for them. Still wanted to know that they were all right. And while the turtle knew that it had been arranged should Raph ever go missing or was killed, the Salamandrians would contact the Fugitoid, who would then contact the family, he couldn’t help but be afraid that his family might believe him dead. And if he showed up and they were all under that impression, he knew he’d get the ass-kicking of a lifetime from the entire family, dear old dad at the front of the line.

The soft chime of the door ended his fretting momentarily. Of course it was Mona Lisa when he opened the door. She didn’t hesitate to march right in, pushing past the other warrior without the least bit of concern for his privacy. “You will tell me why you lied,” she demanded, sitting on the bed.

Raphael winced. He knew this was coming, but couldn’t help but wonder what she’d think if she knew she was sitting on the place where he’d mercilessly fucked his older brother. “It’s…complicated.”

“Then simplify it.”

Glaring at his friend, the turtle knew he had to come clean…at least as clean as he could without disgusting her and getting into the gritty details. But tact had never been his forte, and while he’d learned a lot over the year he’d spent away from home, having to rely more on himself than always depending on his brothers to back up his weak points, he still wasn’t good with words. Actions were much louder, anyway.

“Ya see, it’s just that…I mean...” he trailed off, floundering on where to begin.

Mona eyed him, her expression hauntingly perceptive, before she prompted lightly, “Is this about Leonardo?”

“Yes!” Raph nodded, but sobered as images of the older turtle once more invaded his mind. His sad blue eyes. “We had a…a fight before I met up with you.”

The Salamandrian raised an eye-ridge. “I do not remember him being particularly hostile when I beamed onboard,” she replied thoughtfully. “While perhaps a bit grim, he was perfectly cordial…and his farewell to you was sincere concern.”

“Yeah…”

As he struggled to come up with something to follow up with, Mona reached out and grabbed his hand in hers. The stability of a simple touch grounded the turtle enough that he eventually plopped down beside the lieutenant. Unable to help himself, he slumped forward, the anxiety and depression he’d been holding in for the past year starting to break free.

“You are concerned as to what he will think after a year of not communicating,” Mona probed lightly, knowing him well enough by now to understand when he just couldn’t speak what he needed to.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I…I mean, I was a pretty big douche ta him.”

“Because you left him for me?”

Raphael’s head snapped up so fast, he might have worried about whiplash had his heart not been beating so loudly it was on the verge of exploding. Staring at his ex with wide, fear-filled eyes, it took a moment for him to calm down and not immediately freak out. Because there was _no way_ Mona knew the truth. It was just an odd choice of words.

“Uh, yeah, I left the team ta go fight with you,” he began. But one look at the Salamandrian had him snapping his mouth shut.

While an excellent fighter, more comfortable in demonstrating the physical, Mona Lisa was not without wit. She was beautiful, deadly, _and_ cunning when it served a purpose. She was clever and while not a genius, was certainly not unintelligent. She had proven herself in battle, able to think on her feet and decipher details that might have otherwise been hidden to others. And at that moment, her large green eyes were scrutinizing, mirroring the disbelief she held. It was as though her eyes were peeling away his skin to look into his soul. It left Raph terrifyingly exposed.

Squeezing his hand once before letting go, the Salamandrian leaned back on his hands, turning her intense gaze to the far wall. “Are you aware that you tend to speak your desires when you are ardent?”

Face heating up, the turtle stared down at his clasped hands, wondering at the sudden topic change. “Y-you mean when I get…turned on?”

They were close enough that this shouldn’t have been that embarrassing of a subject. But with how messed up his emotions were at the moment, and with how frighteningly close Mona seemed to be skating around the truth, he found he wasn’t so comfortable. Far, _far_ from it.

“Yes,” she nodded, throwing a smirk his way, enjoying this far too much, damn her. “You tend to – what did you call it? – ‘talk dirty.’”

Raph huffed in mortified agitation. “And yer bringing this up now because…?”

Despite his grousing, Mona remained undisturbed. Turning to give the turtle a fond look, she once more reached out to him, patting his cheek in a way she’d learned depicted affection just as much as it could antagonize. “I was never as fond of it as you are,” she smiled, repeating herself from previous conversations. “But are you aware that when truly excited, you start calling out the name of your lover?”

Horrified by this point, not sure why Mona was scrutinizing their sex-life – especially at a time like this! – he scowled at her. This personal assault nearly had him up and screaming in her face. Because he didn’t need this right before he returned home to a sure-to-be-pissed-off family and a stilted past lover.

“So?” he demanded. “Not everyone likes ta be quiet an’ still as a corpse!”

Mona gave him an unimpressed look, the insult having obviously hit its mark, but she chose to rise above it. It only upset the turtle all the more. Standing the Salamandrian eyed Raphael before sighing. “We might have had a true chance,” she offered another soft smile, “had you called out my name the way you called _his_.”

And without another word, she left, leaving a frozen, shocked turtle in her wake.

It took a solid ten minutes before Raph was able to blink, let alone _move_. But when he could, he felt himself burning with embarrassment, guilt, and no small amount of shame for himself. Because here he’d thought he’d had control, thought he’d buried the past to truly give himself to Mona, and he hadn’t. Not even close. She’d known. For _months_ she’d known, before they had officially ended it between themselves. Was that why? It had to be a factor at least!

Feeling the need to explain himself, Raph jumped up off the bed and rushed towards her quarters. Without even signaling, he barged in and found her reading at the desk. “It’s not what you think!” he cried stupidly.

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” she held up her hands, setting her book down.

“Yes. Yes, I do!” Raph rushed over to her. “Look, I really, _really_ wanted it to work out between us, Mona, I _did_. But that – that _thing_ I had with Leo…” He stared at her helplessly, willing her to understand.

“I bare no resentment against you, Raphael,” she soothed. “Even before we…tried to become closer,” she finally blushed a bit herself, “I admit I was having some doubts about us becoming mates. It wasn’t until you first said his name that I realized your heart was not with me, despite your attempts to give it.”

“Then why’d ya still mess around with me?” the turtle blinked.

“Because I wanted things to work out with you as much as you did with me,” she admitted with a sigh. “But some things are not meant to be.”

Not for the first time, Raph stared at Mona Lisa in astonishment. Truly there was no other being in the galaxy like her. She was truly an amazing creature, better than he deserved. “Ya ain’t pissed?” he asked quietly. “If I were you, I woulda been pissed as hell.”

“Perhaps I was at first, but in the end, I knew there was little I could do about it. I tried to get closer to you, but it was artificial, and we both knew it.”

Raph _did_ know. He recalled those confusing months in limbo, where neither seemed to know what to do around the other. If they should try to get even closer or if they should stay away. It had been just about the most embarrassing time of Raph’s life, and he had never been quite so relieved when it was over. When _they_ were over.

Smiling, he couldn’t help but see his ex in a new, favorable light. “Yer an amazing woman, Mona,” he complimented sincerely. “’M sorry things didn’t work out between us.”

“It was as much me as it was you,” she gave a breathy noise that Raphael had come to associate with a shrug. “Although I wonder why you fear your attraction to Leonardo so much?”

Unable to help himself, Raph felt his face heating up again. “Lovin’ yer brother ain’t exactly kosher on Earth.”

“You are not blood,” she pointed out. “And strengthening family ties is always beneficial. Especially if –”

“Blood or not, it’s more than a little taboo,” Raph interrupted, unable to bare anymore of Mona’s tough-love arguments. While the encouragement was, on some levels, appreciated, he had no desire to get his hopes up. Because there was a very good chance his older brother would never want to rekindle what they’d once had.

The thought weighting him down more than he’d thought it would, Raph sat down on his friend’s bed, glaring at the floor. “Not ta mention it’d freak the fuck outta the rest of the family,” he went on. “An’ April, Case, and even Miwa. There’s a lotta shit that those guys’d put up with, but that ain’t one of ‘em.”

Mona was silent, her expression grim, yet determined. “But you would try?” she urged, passion beginning to shine in her large eyes. “You would not simply allow Leonardo to get away?”

The turtle had to eye his ex critically. “Ya actually _want_ ta see me with him?”

“You complement one another well,” she once more gave a huff-shrug. “You would do well together.”

Smiling genuinely, Raphael shook his head. “Better than mortal turtle deserves, you are.”

“Of course I am,” she sniffed playfully. “That is why you had to look elsewhere.”

The two shared a laugh before the com buzzed, the Fugitoid appearing on screen. “ _There you two are!”_ he fretted. “ _We are coming up on the planet. Best get your things in order. I expect to beam you down within the next ten minutes.”_

As Mona acknowledged, Raph found his anxieties crashing back down on him. He’d been able to forget about going home as he’d admitted everything to Mona, but now that the conversation was over, the Earth literally before them, he wasn’t quite as confident as he had been before. Because very, _very_ soon he would be faced with not only his worried family, but _Leonardo_.

“Come, Battle Brother!” Mona’s cry ripped him from his near panic attack. “Let us prepare for our next adventure, _Rokka, Rokka_!”

Unable to do anything but stand up, thinning his lips so he wouldn’t actually barf, Raph gave a jerky nod, before stumbling back to his room to collect his belongings. His anxiety was severe enough that he ended up just stuffing everything into his pack without actually taking the time or care to make certain it was all safely tucked away. And when he turned to go meet with the professor, Mona was right there beside him, waiting patiently as he worked through his angst.

When they made it to the bridge, the Fugitoid was smiling at them. “I am so glad to have seen you, my friends!” he beamed. “But I’m afraid I won’t be beaming down with you. I have to get moving. I shall be back within a few days to pick up whoever is wanting to return to Salamandria,” he offered.

“Thank you,” Mona nodded her head.

“Yeah,” Raph echoed the sentiment. “We’ll see ya around.”

“Of course. Keep your communicators on,” the professor urged, before turning back to his controls. “And please tell Donatello that I’ll be sending him those semantics he’s been asking about very soon! Take care!”

And because he couldn’t help himself, Raph reached over and grabbed Mona’s hand just before they were beamed down to the planet, into the sewers. His home. Because right then, he needed all the comfort he could get.


	5. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Mona Lisa return to Earth.

The beam down point was about a mile from the lair. It had been reasoned at one time that it had to be close enough that if they went into space, it wouldn’t be a terribly long walk, but far enough that should anyone hack into the coordinates, any past enemies, it wouldn’t put them directly into the turtles’ home. It would give them a little time to prepare for invasion if need be.

So when Raph beamed down into the familiar surrounds of the sewers, he felt himself get a little choked up. Because it had been _so long_ since he’d seen these walls. Since he’d heard that rumble of the subway in the distance. Since he’d actually been in the shadows of the underworld.

Beside him, while Raph was reminiscing on old times with bittersweet emotion, Mona Lisa was scrunching up her snout. “What is that odor?”

Unable to help himself, the turtle laughed. “Ya don’t wanna know. Come on. The lair’s not too far from here.”

They walked together amiably, Raphael telling her a little bit more about his home and family before coming up to the entrance of the lair about twenty minutes later. Mona took Raph’s hand in hers for a moment, squeezing it comfortingly, before letting go so they could enter. Rushing up the steps and through the turnstiles, Raph almost expected to find his brothers all sitting in front of the T.V. watching a movie or playing games. Like old times. Donnie would be on the couch, laptop out and open, while Mikey would either be flopped across a beanbag chair, or sprawled out on the floor. And Leo…depending on what they were watching or playing, would either be sitting calmly on the couch or directly in front of the T.V. not wanting to miss a thing.

But the excited smile dropped from the big turtle’s face when he walked in to find…nothing. The lair was quiet. Eerily so. Sure, Donnie’s machines still hummed in the background, the noise of the city still a distant murmur from above, but there was no… _life_ to the lair. No warmth. It seemed darker despite all the lights being on. Everything felt uncommonly still. Something was missing. Something was off, and it wasn’t the bit of change he saw in the furniture placement or added clutter, but Raph couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Stepping in further, almost afraid to break the silence, Raph turned and looked back at Mona Lisa, who was studying her surroundings carefully. She too was tense.

“Hello?” Raph called out, voice seeming to echo. Where _was_ everyone? It was early enough in the evening that everyone should still be at home, awake. Just getting ready for the evening patrol. “Guys?”

A door creaked opened from down the hall, and a pale green head poked out from around the corner. “Raph?” There was barely any time to brace himself before impact when Raphael suddenly had his arms full of his baby brother. “Raph! Dude! You’re back, Bro!” Mikey cried, crushing his older brother in a desperate hug.

Unable to help himself, Raph hugged back, making sure to give his youngest brother an extra big squeeze. “Hey-a, Nutball! How ya doin’?”

Mikey pulled back, but didn’t let go. His smile was wide and a little manic and _reeked_ of desperation. “Dude! W-we thought you weren’t coming back!”

Trying his best not to crumble, Raph made sure to pat his brother’s shell. “Who said?” he bullied on, unwilling to show how guilty he truly was. “Just been kept busy ‘s all.”

Mikey still didn’t look necessarily happy, but there was definite relief in his eyes as he finally dropped his arms, but made sure to keep a hand on the bigger turtle’s arm. “I knew you’d come back!” Mikey beamed. “Donnie said you wouldn’t, but I knew you would! I knew you’d get our messages eventually! I knew you wouldn’t leave us forever!”

His little brother was crying by now, but the smile stayed stubbornly in place. It made Raphael feel like the biggest sack of shit in the universe. He’d willingly beat the hell out of himself for making Mikey cry like this if he could. But since he couldn’t, he was going to reassure his baby bro that he wouldn’t abandon them, only to be interrupted when he saw another brother poke his head out of the lab. “Raph?”

The clear astonishment in Donnie’s voice had the older turtle smirking more out of habit than actually feeling smug. “Hey, Don.”

Like the youngest, Donnie came rushing forward, but he stopped just shy of actually coming in front of his brothers. Brown eyes narrowed at the older turtle, before shifting towards Mona Lisa, who gave a polite smile at the genius. “You came back,” he blinked slowly, as if working through a complex equation. “Why’d you come back?”

The true confusion once more threatened to make Raph crack – or blow up – but he held strong, knowing his brothers needed him calm and to not get slammed with the typhoon of his unpredictable emotions. “Ain’t allowed ta see my family no more?” he groused, trying to act as normally as possible. That’s what they needed from him. “Was I supposed ta set up an appointment or somethin’?”

Mikey’s laugh was forced, but still good to hear. “See? I knew he’d be back, D! I _knew it_!”

Donnie still didn’t seem convinced, like he was looking at a hologram or something, but eventually nodded. “So you did,” he acknowledged before turning and walking towards the pit. “So is this a quick visit, or are you staying for a while?”

Scowling, the big turtle supposed he did deserve the cold treatment. And honestly, this was all going better than he’d thought it would. So far there was no yelling, at least. “Mona’s stayin’ a few days,” Raph walked towards the pit, motioning for his friend to do the same, as Mikey continued to cling to his arm. “I’m stayin’ though.”

“Really?” There was so much hope in Mikey’s eyes it _hurt_.

“For how long?” Donnie pressed, a bitter edge to his voice. “I don’t imagine you want to be away from your mate too long.”

“Mona and I aren’t –”

“Don’t get mad at him,” Mikey snapped, surprising Raph enough to have him closing his mouth. “Just because he’s got one doesn’t mean that –”

“For the _last time_ , Mikey, I’m not jealous!”

“The fuck is wrong with you two?” Raph snarled over the argument of the younger turtles, truly surprised and even slightly appalled. Although he wasn’t sure if he was more upset with them, or the fact that they were arguing because of him. It wasn’t often that the younger turtles behaved like this. At least not as seriously as they seemed to be getting with one another at the moment.

“What’s wrong?” Donnie snapped, glaring fiercely at his older brother. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong. We’ve been here dealing with all the _shit_ , while _you’ve_ been off gallivanting through space, rubbing noses with Mona Lisa!”

Now the lair plunged into silence for a whole new reason. Raph stood absolutely stunned by the violent outburst of his younger brother. The clear resentment and bitterness was raw and biting, and while it shouldn’t have been so unexpected, Raph couldn’t help but believe that there was something more to it than him just not being around or not having returned some calls. That feeling of something being off struck him again, and he realized that he didn’t smell incense. Nor had anyone else come out to see what the commotion was about.

Ignoring his own feelings and his immediate younger brother’s anger, the older turtle glanced around the lair. “Where’s Sensei?” he asked carefully. “And Leo?”

It wasn’t uncommon for his elder brother and their father to be holed away together, Leo getting special ‘leader training’ and all. But when both younger turtles wilted at the question, Mikey’s grip tightened on Raph’s arm and Donnie visibly sagging, Raph knew something was wrong. It took a moment before the baby of the family mustered up the courage to explain. “Sensei’s human again, dude.” Raph reared back as if he’d been slapped. “He decided to take Donnie’s retro-mutagen several months back and live with Miwa topside for a while. Ya know, make up for some lost time?”

Unable to fathom the idea that his father was human, Raph gawked between his brothers. “Splinter’s … _human_?”

“If you’re upset about not getting an input on the topic, you have no right,” Donnie sniffed. “We _did_ try to contact you. We weren’t going to wait around forever for you to answer when you felt like it.”

“Of course not,” Mona interrupted as Raph struggled to recover from the shock and not immediately lash out at his younger brother. “Raphael is sorry for not having gotten back with you. Salamandria has been at war. There has been much to occupy our time as of late.”

The genius eyed the female momentarily before muttering, “I’m sure there has.”

“Now wait just a fuckin’ minute!” Raphael began, unable to keep his temper with the sudden, life altering changes he was now facing. He had been weirded out and nervous before, he didn’t need Donnie’s sass.

“Dude, it’s okay,” Mikey soothed, literally jumping between the two older turtles. “We get it. It’s cool. It’s just – Dad really needed the change, ya know? And now he’s got Miwa to take care of and keep him busy.”

Something about the explanation sat wrong with Raph, but he was still too upset to wrap his mind around the statement. So struggling to keep his temper, he took a deep breath before asking, “So he’s really human? He’s…living with Miwa?”

“Yup,” the youngest nodded with that fake smile in place. “They have an apartment not too far from here. Donnie made a trap door that drops down directly into the subway tunnels. That way we don’t have to run around and wait for night before visiting if we don’t wanna. It’s a pretty sweet setup. Their apartment’s _awesome_.”

“What does he do all day?” Because Raphael couldn’t quite imagine his father being the stereotypical working-man. He’d been a ninja when he moved to New York, he’d been a ninja when Raph had left home. Throwing him back into normal human society seemed more than just preposterous. Because what would a man who recently regained his humanity even do in society? Hamato Yoshi had known nothing save ninjitsu, Raph doubted very much that his father could stand a typical eight hour, punch-in kind of job. But money had to come in somehow. Apartments, especially in the city, weren’t exactly cheap. And even if Miwa had a full time job and wasn’t still going to school, she’d still need help making ends meet.

“Dude, it’s so awesome!” Mikey grinned, apparently relieved to move the conversation along. “He actually works at a YMCA, can you believe it?! He’s teaching yoga and Tai Chi, and even convinced them to let him start teaching beginning ninjitsu lessons, too. Totally has a free membership and everything!”

That… was the most ridiculous thing Raphael thought he’d ever heard in his life – and that was saying something considering his fucked up life. His father? _Splinter_ , an instructor at a Y of all places? It was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard! But then again, his father did have to occupy his time, and _did_ have to earn money. And after being out of the societal loop so long, and not having the money to do something like open his own dojo just yet...

“Yer…not joking,” he replied slowly, still not sure if he should believe his brother or if this was his strange idea of a prank.

“Nope!” the youngest cried in delight. “It’s awesome! Dad’s _totally_ got his own theme song now and everything!”

At Raph’s confused frown, Donnie sighed in disgust, rolling his eyes. “He plays the Village People’s _YMCA_ every time Yoshi comes over.”

“It’s so awesome!” Mikey laughed.

“O-kay,” Raph drawled, still not sure he hadn’t crossed over into some other bizarre universe. So his father was no longer a mutant rat, but a normal human living with his human daughter, working a very human job. It wasn’t the weirdest thing in the world, right? There were weirder…Although he couldn’t think of any at the moment.

“That sounds pleasant,” Mona Lisa once more came to Raph’s aid when he was at a loss as to how to proceed with the current topic. “I wish him well in his new endeavors.”

“Thanks,” Mikey smiled kindly at the Salamandrian before turning back to Raph. “Dude, you’ve really been workin’ out, haven’t you? You’re _huge_.”

Surprised by the sudden topic change to his physique, Raph momentarily looked down at himself. He’d known he’d grown some over the course of the year, in both height and muscle, but it was only then that he realized how much he’d changed. And how much his brothers had changed. Donnie, the little shit, had actually grown taller, well past where Sensei had been the last Raphael had seen him, and Mikey had gotten a bit taller as well. Although the youngest seems to have been slacking a bit on his training. Donnie, too. While the genius seemed a bit on the scrawny side from the last time Raph had seen him, Mikey seemed just a tad pudgy. Nothing a good couple weeks of intensive workout wouldn’t fix, but it was still surprising. Especially since Leonardo was a constant hound over their health.

Eyes widening, Raph couldn’t stop himself from looking between the dojo and their rooms. Mikey’s words from before coming back to him, the minute changes he’d unconsciously taken in. Turning back to his brothers, Raphael asked the one question that he’d been most eager to know since he’d gotten home. “Where’s Leo?”

It was frightening how both turtles sobered at the question. Mikey’s smile fell clean off his face, shattering on the floor, while Donnie’s sneer faltered into something truly hurt. For a terrifying moment, Raphael felt his heart stop cold in his chest.

“Where’s Leo?” he demanded with a snarl, panic edging around the tone.

It was Donnie that spoke up this time, brown eyes sad, even as bitterness clung to his features. “Leo’s… gone.”

Raphael felt his heart crumble within his chest.


	6. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph learns the truth.

“Th’ fuck ya mean, he’s _gone_?!” Raphael exploded.

His heart was pounding wildly, all the panic and fear he felt swirling in his chest in a dangerous cacophony, suffocating him until he felt as though he couldn’t possibly go on living. Because without Leonardo, what was the point? How could he make it through this world or any other without him?

Apparently understanding what his brother was thinking, Donnie was quick to explain. “He’s _gone_ , Raph. As in…as in he’s…not here.”

Raph was in full panic mode by now, and while he understood what Donnie was saying, he still could not fathom the actual meaning. Because this was a nightmare. One of his greatest fears coming true, and he was two seconds away from running out of the lair and turning the entire city upside down until he found his missing brother. He’d kill anyone that stood in his way. “‘Not here’? Was he taken?”

That bitter expression on Donnie’s face returned as he shook his head. It didn’t calm Raphael down in the slightest. “He’s gone, as in he _left_. Walked out of the lair one night and hasn’t been back since.”

“What?” Raph glanced between his brothers, silently demanding that they explain this madness to him. Because what they were saying made no sense. There was no way Leonardo would just… _leave_.

“It’s true, bro,” Mikey chimed in, staring down at his feet, face devastated at the revisited memory. “D has it all on camera.”

The tension in the air was so thick it could have been sliced with a katana. And as the seconds ticked by, Raphael could do nothing save stare stupidly at his brothers, completely shell shocked. Because this made no _sense_. Not in this or any other dimension. Leonardo would never abandon them. _Ever_.

Mikey startled Raph when he jumped up and went to the lab. The new comers watched him go with a frown. Donnie remained seated, glaring at the floor. It was so out of character, Raph became worried he was misunderstanding. He had to be. “He…he just took off?” the older turtle’s voice came out weaker than he would have liked. “Alone? Without telling anyone?”

A humorless laugh escaped the genius as pain flashed across his face. “Wasn’t alone,” he denied with a shake of the head. “He took April.”

Surprised, Raph found himself glancing at Mona Lisa, as if she could translate his brother’s words for him. The Salamandrian only shook her head. A moment later Mikey returned with Donnie’s laptop. Wordlessly, he passed it to the genius and with a sigh, Donatello motioned for Raph to come look.

The big turtle jumped forward as if cut from a line, and pushed Mikey out of the way to stare at the screen. “I installed security cameras in the pit and lab a week before Leo left,” Donnie explained as a video was pulled up. “Things had been going…missing in the lab. I thought it was Mikey,” he nearly whispered.

Scowling, heart still racing, Raph turned his full attention to the recording, desperate to understand, to regain his balance after the heavy blow. Because nothing was adding up. There was something terribly wrong and he _would_ find out what it was.

A moment later the screen showed a shot of the pit. The time at the bottom displayed late morning, when they were all usually asleep. A minute or so into the feed Leonardo came on screen, sneaking towards the lab, a pack slung over his shoulder. He paused in the middle of the pit, looking around, before continuing. When he entered the lab, he shut the door behind him silently.

Donnie obviously edited the tape, because the next instance, the screen changed angles, showcasing Leo cautiously tiptoeing around the lab. He snuck over to one of the cabinets and pulled out the medical kit Donnie kept ready at all times. Raphael frowned as he watched his older brother pillage the box before turning his attention to the rest of the cabinet, taking what he wanted before closing everything up once setting it to right. He tucked everything away in his pack before creeping towards the Shell-Raiser. It was only then that Raph noticed April in the doorway.

The angle changed again, this time showing outside the subway tunnel where the vehicles were kept parked. Leonardo went directly to April. The two stared at one another a moment before the audio picked up a quiet question from the human. “ _You ready?_ ”

Leo seemed to hesitate before nodding. “ _Yeah…You sure you wanna go through with this?”_

 _“Absolutely,”_ April declared boldly. “ _We’re in this together, remember?_ ”

And without hesitation, April leaned in and gave the turtle a hug, before taking his hand in hers. Together, the two walked off down the tunnel, still hand in hand. They were in no hurry, simply taking their time, never once looking back.

And that’s how the video ended, gradually showing the empty tunnel. Neither April or Leo came back.

Raphael stared at the screen in utter astonishment. Contradicting emotions swirled within the big turtle as he replayed what he’d just seen. Disbelief, hurt, _anger_ warred in his breast as he tried to understand. Because this wasn't right. Leo would _not_ just run away like that! Not with _April_!

“How long…?” he choked out, biting back the enraged hurt.

“Almost a year,” Mikey replied sadly. “He left only a month or so after you did.”

Looking between his brothers, Raph turned back to the laptop and played the clip again. This wasn’t right! This wasn’t _true_! Helpless fury consumed the turtle as he clenched and unclenched his hands, mind whirling in an attempt to process. Something was missing! Because Leo wouldn’t just _go_!

“It had to be an emergency!” he cried, watching as April gave his older brother that too-intimate embrace. “He took April to help –!”

“Without a note?” Donnie countered, cutting him off before he had hopes of deluding himself. “Without taking his T-phone? Without leaving _any_ clues?”

“Then why the _fuck_ didn’t ya track him down?!” Raph roared.

“We _tried,_ ” Donnie snapped, for once unafraid of his brother’s wrath. “But Leo didn’t take his T-phone, and April didn’t take her cell. We went to Mister O’Neil to see if he knew anything, but he didn’t. He has no idea where April went, or why she would go. Just said that she was gone, took her car and some stuff, and that was it.”

“There _must_ have been clues!” Raph cried. “Yer just shit at trackin’ – you missed something!”

Donatello stiffened. “Well, _you’re_ the one that took off with your girlfriend!” he snarled. “And we _did_ try to contact you, get you to come home for help. But _you’re_ the one that ignored _us_!”

The accusation hit so hard, Raph actually took a step back, as if Don had physically assaulted him. Snarling, the big turtle was intent on beating his younger brother in an attempt to stop the pain and guilt that was ready to burst. Because he’d planned for a furious Leonardo, a bitter, resentful past lover. He’d even prepared to accept the idea of Leo never wanting to have anything romantic with him ever again. That would have been fine. Been okay. Because at least Leo would have been _there_. To come home and find him missing, that he ran off with a new lover…

He couldn't accept that.

Thankfully, however, Mona stepped forward and grabbed ahold of Raph, while Mikey also moved in front of the big turtle. The two brothers remained glaring furiously at one another, before Raph pulled himself out of their grasps, stalking towards and kicking the coffee table that had been set up in front of the couch as he thought.

“He doesn’t love _her_ ,” Raph spat, beginning to pace. “He’s never loved her.”

He knew that for a fact. Leo had told him. Years ago, when they’d first met April, Raph had asked what the leader thought of the girl. Big Brother hadn’t felt anything for her save wariness at first, curiosity, and eventually a sisterly affection. If anything, Leo had only ever showed any sexual kind of interest in Miwa – then Karai – and Raph, if he could flatter himself to be counted among the lineup. But April? April had never appeared on the radar. She was a dear friend. _Nothing_ more.

“That’s what I said,” Mikey agreed sadly.

“But look at the facts,” Donnie turned towards the youngest, huffing as it appeared he was explaining an often repeated lecture. “Our brother takes off when we’re all sleeping to meet with April and walks off with her, having packed some of his most personal and prized possessions. Neither take their phones, neither tells anyone where they’re going. They just leave. No goodbyes. No explanations. No _nothing_. _And! –_ it happens soon after Raph’s left to court Mona Lisa.”

Raph stiffened.

“Obviously Leonardo wanted a shot at love and was sick of wasting time with Miwa,” the genius muttered darkly.

“But what about April?” Mikey argued desperately. “She wasn’t interested in dating, remember? She told you and Casey that she needed time to herself. Why would she run off with Leo, dude?”

“She only said that to us to stall for time,” the genius sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. “I should have realized it was a code for ‘it’s never going to happen’.”

“But April is not so cruel as to hurt you or your friend Casey Jones like this,” Mona Lisa defended the human girl she had come to admire. “She would not be so dishonorable as to treat you in such a way, Donatello. There must be another reason that has yet to be divined.”

“Like what?” Donnie demanded.

“Some sort a’ mission,” Raph blurted, latching on to Mona’s hope. “He left because he felt it was too dangerous to take ya along – ”

“Then why take April?”

“Because she’s a telepath! She could be more useful!”

“Then why didn’t he seem upset? Or worried? Or even determined like he usually is before a mission?” the genius continued to glare back, not at all impressed by his older brother’s displays of hostility. “Why would he lazily take his time, walking _hand in hand_ with April, if it was an emergency? Why take personal belongings with him if it was a dangerous mission? He’d pack light! No excuse you make for him adds up, Raphael,” Donnie shook his head, deject. “Facts point to the obvious: Leo ran away with April…so they could be together.”

“And where the hell would they go?” Raph began another tirade only to cut himself off in the middle. “The farmhouse! It’s the only place they coulda run off to –”

“We already checked,” Mikey admitted softly. “After stopping by Kirby’s place, we went almost straight there. There was no sign of them.”

“Where the fuck _else_ could they go?!” the hothead demanded. “Leo’s a fuckin’ mutant _turtle._ ‘S not like he can walk around and tour the country with a redheaded girl!”

"I don't know!" Donnie cried helplessly. "I just...I have no idea."

It was clear to see how upset the genius was, how frustrated. Mikey's grief was palpable, his eyes watering as he stared down at his feet. But despite knowing his brothers were upset, Raphael couldn't bother with them now. Couldn't help them in their obvious distress. Because they'd had time to adjust, to come to terms with the fact that their oldest brother and dearest friend had run off together. He hadn’t. Had no time. No warning. Right now, he was no help to anyone.

He should've looked at those damn texts! Answered the hundreds of phone calls! Responded to the single plea when Leonardo had reached out to him. If only he hadn't been so selfish! If only he hadn't been so _scared_. He was a damn coward, and now he'd lost everything.

Unable to stand it anymore, the big turtle stormed off towards his room, slamming the door shut so forcefully the walls shook. Now safely ensconced in his own domain, Raph attempted to regulate his breathing. But nothing helped. Breaths becoming labored, one minute he was clenching his hands, the next he found himself trashing his room, beating the hell out of the walls, ruining his knuckles.

For ten minutes he spent destroying anything he could get his hands on, anger burning hotly in his chest. It was enough that the pain in his hands didn’t register. And when he ran out of energy, panting for air, he stumbled and fell back on his bed.

“Fuck!” he screamed, flexing his bleeding hands.

The longer he sat on the bed, staring at the blood running down his fingers to his wrists, the faster the hopelessness of his situation set in. Eating away at him until he thought he’d go insane. Because of all the scenarios that ran through how this day would go, never once had he believed himself in danger of having competition for Leo’s affections, of losing him completely.

Is that why Splinter had decided to become human again? The loss of yet another child, this time to the unknown, after having another son run off to play soldier. Raph had been the first stone to erode from their familial foundation – after things had simply been unable to hold.

All his life Raphael had wondered and questioned his place in the family. He wasn’t the oldest son nor the leader. He wasn’t the smartest or the one that invented things to help the family. He wasn’t the youngest that brought joy into their lives and got away with everything. He was the middle child without a true purpose. The ‘hothead’ that messed up carefully laid plans and stirred up trouble. Used more as a berserker in battle than anything. He wasn’t the perfect son. The respectable son.

To Donnie he was more of a work associate. Used for heavy lifting and helping with repairs to the machinery. Sometimes little better than a mechanical assistant or consultant that the genius could bounce ideas off of. To Mikey, he was a source of entertainment. Whether it was actually playing a game with him or being there simply for the baby to torment, Raph was in a lot of ways the focus of the youngest’s pranks. To their father, he was the son to be worked with the most. The son that needed his temper refined and tuned. The son that was to help look after the clan, especially if Leonardo was ever distracted.

But as he laid back on his bed, Raph realized now that he was perhaps one of the most important people in the older turtle’s life. He wasn’t just a brother or rival or even simple lover. Leonardo had depended on him for an outlet, whether it was through fighting or fucking. He was the leader’s backboard, often making the turtle rethink and analyze his plans. He was the older ninja’s stability, the one that, if truly distressed, Leo could turn to, talk to, even when Master Splinter couldn’t be told.

As leader, Leo’d been set apart. And it was only in recent times that Raphael’s eyes had been opened and he understood he had nothing to be jealous of. Leadership was a horrible burden to bear, a cross that one had to carry alone when it came down to it in the end. But there were times, chances, when Leo looked to him to share that burden, to at least meet him halfway. Indulge in the possibility of forgetting responsibility for a while in hopes of gaining some small amount of freedom.

At the end of the day, Raph had been all Leo ever really had. And as he stared up at the ceiling, tears pooling in his eyes as he thought back to the video he’d seen, Raphael dearly wished he would have woken up to the truth sooner. Would have realized what he’d had. Because Leo was gone now, and it was quite possible he had lost his turtle forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END. 
> 
> Just kidding. I've got a lot more in store for you all, so hang on to your hats! Tags will be updated!


	7. Get Over Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph takes steps in making up to his family.

_Glaring off at the T.V. Raphael growled under his breath, unable to keep from scowling. Because he’d wanted to go out tonight. Hang out with Casey. Wanted to drink beer. But no. Just because he’d gotten a little too rough in the dojo, he was benched._ Again _._

 _Crossing his arms over his plastron, the turtle tried his best to look on the bright side, to remember how pleased he’d been earlier when he’d woken up and gotten word from Mona Lisa. But all he could think about was getting yet_ another _lecture about how he shouldn’t hurt his brothers, about not being so violent, blah, blah, blah. It was the same noise every time._

_Just because he was the only one who took training seriously, didn’t mean that – !_

_“Still pouting?”_

_Startled, the big turtle glared as Leonardo came swaggering into the pit. He was wearing that insufferable smirk of his, eyes bright with amusement, watching his brother as if he was a child. Growling at his big bro, the younger ninja turned back to the T.V._

_“Oh come on, Raph,” Leo slid over, standing near the bigger turtle. “Why so down? I heard Don say you got a message from Mona Lisa?”_

_He glanced up at his brother, curious as to why Leo was bringing this up. He knew Mona was hardly the turtle’s favorite alien. “Why do you care?”_

_Leonardo shrugged. “Thought you’d be happy. Satisfied the new communication channels are working.”_

_Raph snorted, rolling his eyes. He would rather be out than sitting here playing mind games with Leo… But if that was all the entertainment he could get, it beat wasting away in boredom. Shrugging himself, the bigger turtle leaned back, giving his elder brother a once over, leering openly. Donnie was safely tucked away in his lab, Mikey was out skateboarding with Mondo, and Sensei – of all things – was having tea with Dr. Rockwell. They had time._

_“Never satisfied,” he lowered his voice into a provoking husk._

_That smug little smirk came back to Leo’s lips, eyes sparkling as he raised an eye ridge coyly. “Oh?” He closed the gap between them. It thrilled the younger turtle when the leader leaned over him, carefully resting his hands on Raph’s knees. Coming in close, Leo murmured, “Maybe I can help with that?”_

_Struggling to keep his features straight, to look as disinterested as possible, Raph tried to ignore the thumbs that were now carefully stroking along his thighs, the way blue eyes sparked fire, all the while eating it up. “You can try,” he dared._

_Leonardo’s grin was downright naughty as it simultaneously made Raph’s blood boil and made him shiver in anticipation. The older turtle leaned in further, lips just a breath away, eyes roving over the emerald face in a way that had the younger fighting to keep control. “I know I can,” Leo declared arrogantly._

_Grinning wolfishly, Raphael keep himself poised, muscles coiling, waiting to react. “Hope ya can hold up.”_

_Leo struck, grabbing Raph from behind his head, pulling him into a possessive kiss. Raphael sat back, momentarily surprised, but excited all the same. It wasn’t often Big Brother pulled out the leader card when it came to their private rendezvous, but when he did, it never ceased to leave him breathless._

_For a few minutes they indulged in the make out session, tongues delving in and out, hands gripping almost painfully. But just before Raphael became too impatient, before he could take control and throw the older turtle onto the couch and have his way with him, Leonardo pulled back, ending the kiss with an almost sweet parting. It had Raph trying to follow, not wanting it to end._

_Slowly coming back to himself, Raphael stared deeply into the eyes of his brother, feeling a swell of warmth in his chest as he allowed himself to drown in the depths of oceanic pools. He sat rather helplessly, pinned in place, breathing hard as he waited for Leonardo’s next move. The older turtle leaned in again, smirking as Raph attempted to meet halfway. But just before their lips touched, Leo pulled back sharply, surprising the younger ninja. “Get over yourself, Raphie.”_

_And just like that, Leo straightened up and sauntered away to the lab, leaving an astonished and painfully aroused Raphael sitting dumbly on the couch._

**oOoOoOoOo**

Raphael startled awake, eyes darting back and forth as he tried to orient himself. When he realized he was in his own room on Earth, he flopped back down with a groan, rubbing at his eyes. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Hadn’t even realized he had.

Rolling over on his side, he stared at the clock, trying to determine how long he’d been out. Several hours at least.

Sitting up, he rubbed at his neck, muttering darkly. He felt like shit. Not having gotten any true sleep the last few nights didn’t exactly help. But as he continued to work the kinks out of his neck, he glanced back to discover that one of his pillows was gone. Grumbling, he rolled his eyes. Mikey always did complain about never having had enough. Probably pilfered it the first chance he got.

When he planted his feet down on the cool floor, the turtle felt more awake, and with the awareness came back the recent memories. And the heartache. It would probably just be better for him to stay locked away in his room for the rest of his life.

_‘Get over yourself, Raphie.’_

Frowning at the echo in his head, Raph rubbed at his face, standing. Wincing at the stiffness in his hands, he looked down, only then remembering that he’d mutilated them in his tantrum. His room, too, was pretty messed up.

It was strange, now that he’d had some rest, he felt oddly…hallow. Empty. Like there was just…nothing left inside. Was he in some kind of weird shock?

He didn’t feel right. Lightheaded and listless. Like if he didn’t do something now, he’d crack. He hadn’t felt like this for a long time, but he knew that if he didn’t take care of it _now_ more than just his hands would be ruined. Sadly, however, there was no Leonardo to take this out on, even though it was all his fault.

Stepping out of his room found the lair quiet. But when he heard laughter coming from the kitchen, he frowned, heading that way. It didn’t seem right that there should be laughter in this place. That anyone could laugh while he was so utterly wretched. But pushing back his own frustrated anger, the turtle entered the kitchen to find Mikey and Mona cooking.

“Hey!” Mikey greeted, offering the first real smile the older brother had seen since coming home. “Mona and I are baking spaghetti! Did ya know you can _bake_ spaghetti? Weird, right?”

Throwing a glance at his friend told Raph all he needed to know. “Smells great,” he took the pains to compliment, registering the female’s threatening glare.

“Thanks!” the youngest beamed. “You guys go ahead an’ set the table. I’ll go get Donnie!”

And as Mikey ran out, Mona turned on her ex with a stern scowl. “He was terribly upset when you stormed off,” she hissed. “You must make amends with your brothers.”

The sudden attack left the turtle defensive, his emotions still unstable. “Ya don’t gotta –!”

“This has been hard for you,” the Salamandrian interrupted, tail thrashing furiously. “But your brothers have had to deal with the loss of two brothers and having their father moving away for much longer than you have.”

Raph knew she was right. He felt terrible for his brothers, for having in all appearances abandoned them. He’d known his absence would affect them when he’d left. But how much worse had it been for them to have never heard from him again after that? And then to have Leo and April disappear? _And_ Sensei change back?

Any response he could have given, any excuse or argument was cut short when Mikey came bouncing in with a still rather putout Donatello. Don eyed the other two before taking his usual place. The genius looked tired, more than usual. The strain of everything, adding on the fact that his hotheaded brother suddenly returned to turn their lives upside down without warning had probably wiped him out. It would explain his short fuse earlier. Because Donnie only ever truly snapped when he was beyond stressed.

As Mikey turned to set the spaghetti on the table, Raph motioned for Mona to take his old seat. He’d argue with her later. And since no one could fill their father’s place, the head of the table would remain empty. Raph would sit where Leo always had, noting how his brothers’ observed him covertly, but thankfully didn’t say anything about his decisions. Mona was quick to set the table as Mikey had asked, before the dysfunctional family was sitting at the table together.

It might have almost been normal. Almost. But the tension in the air, the grief that couldn’t be fixed until their family was whole again stamped out any true peace. It made Raph wonder if his younger brothers had been living like this since he left? Since Leo left? Or had it finally all crumbled after Sensei turned human?

Eventually the four occupants helped themselves to spaghetti and garlic bread. It was _fantastic_. Mikey had really gotten good, and Raph hadn’t realized how much he’d missed Earth food until the first drop of tomato sauce hit his tongue. It didn’t take long before he devoured his plate and helped himself to more.

As always, Mikey provided chatter, telling them all about his latest video game scores, how ‘awesome’ he’d gotten at ping-pong, and other random endeavors. It was clear from watching his brothers that they had fallen out of practice in ninjitsu, or at least didn’t worry about it as much. Apparently without either their older brothers or Sensei around to harass them, the younger turtles felt free to pursue their own, more individualized interests. If nothing else came from returning home, Raphael vowed to get them back into shape.

“So, how often does Sensei come ‘round?” Raph managed to ask after a lull, when he thought he could stomach talking.

“Oh…well, Sensei hasn’t been here for about a week or so,” Mikey admitted.

“He and Miwa went to Japan,” Donnie added, glancing up at his older brother with an apologetic light to his eyes. It made Raph feel worse. “They went to visit Tang Shen’s grave. And Yoshi wanted to see if he could reconnect with anyone he used to know.”

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it still took Raph off guard. Neither brother had mentioned this before – probably because things had escalated so quickly. But it was still disappointing to think that his father wasn’t here to wait up for him. Wasn’t near enough to visit so he could talk. Wasn’t even a _rat_ anymore.

“When’s he gettin’ back?”

“He actually just got back yesterday,” Donnie shrugged. “He’ll likely call later…in case you want to talk.”

The thought of hearing his father’s voice had the big turtle glaring down at the table in an attempt not to start crying. He missed his father. Missed the warmth and comfort and tranquility the older ninja had always seemed to exude. He was too old to go running to daddy, but that’s honestly all Raph wanted to do at the moment.

“Yeah. I’ll talk to ‘im,” he shrugged.

And the dinner moved on from there. From how bouncy Mikey was, it could only be concluded that he was pleased with having more family and friends with him. His smiles were bigger, wider, and he was almost like his old self. Almost.

Donnie, too, appeared to relax, offering a few small smiles at things the youngest chattered about. He even talked about some of his projects, but bemoaned the fact that Professor Honeycutt was supposed to give him some sort of schematic months ago. Remembering what the android had said, Raph told his brother about the Fugitoid’s promise to send it out soon.

The genius huffed, but there was no real resentment in it. “He’s been telling me that since…well, since we took you to meet up with Mona.” But before they could linger on the memory of what had sent their family on the path of ruin, Donnie moved on. “There was a while there where he didn’t get back with me for several months. I was actually pretty worried about him. How was he when you saw him?”

Raph and Mona looked at each other, before the older turtle shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Same spaz as always.”

“Although he appeared rather distracted,” Mona offered. “I believe he has taken on too many projects.”

“Oo! Is he working on those stealth jetpacks I asked him to make?” Mikey smiled excitedly. “D won’t make ‘em, but Fugitoid said he’d look into it!”

“For the _last time_ , we don’t need stealth jetpacks!” Donnie moaned, shaking his head in feigned despair.

“How do you know? I can think of a _million_ missions where it woulda been awesome to have jetpacks.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Raph groused, rolling his eyes. “Jetpacks defeat the purpose of being a _ninja_ , bonehead. Forget about livin’ in the _shadows_?”

“But they’d be _fun_!” Mikey whined.

And just like that, what could have remained an extremely awkward dinner turned out to be just the decompression Raphael needed. He’d never tell them, would never admit to it, but to see his younger brothers smiling and laughing again, it warmed his heart. It had been too long since he’d seen them happy. Since they had been able to hold on to any sort of hope. He’d been selfish, only thinking of himself and his own hurts when he should have been thinking about the family he had here. Raph vowed to take care of them now that he was back, to ensure that they would never fall into such hopelessness again.

After all, they might very well be the only family he had left.


	8. Bring Him Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Yoshi have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise after this things will move forward! This long-ass day will be over for Raph.  
> Also, thanks for all the love! I appreciate the reviews. ^^

The night ended up being a rather strange balance of peaceful and awkward. The brothers stayed together the rest of the evening, huddled in close on the couches of the pit, while Mona Lisa retired early. With sleep patterns off for everyone and the lieutenant understanding that Raphael needed time alone with his family, she left the turtles to their own devices. Raph gave up his room for her – after a quick clean-up of everything he’d destroyed – and managed to settle her in comfortably. Once she was safely tucked away, the turtles found themselves simultaneously relieved and unsure how to act around one another.

They talked about nothing mostly, until Mikey eventually talked himself to sleep, curled up between his brothers, clinging to Raph as if he’d disappear if he let go. Donnie managed to stay up a little longer, asking about the adventures his brother had, before soon dropping off as well. It left Raph acting as their quiet sentry, guarding over the pair as they slept. He didn’t feel right leaving them alone. He’d been away too long.

Just before midnight, when Raph, too, began to fall asleep, a quiet call from the entrance alerted the turtle to the arrival of another. “My sons?”

The sight of Hamato Yoshi was like a kick to the stomach. Green eyes were wide awake now, taking in the appearance of a middle aged man with greying black hair, a short beard, and a very human form. Gone was the brown and black fur, gone were the whiskers and long tail. Splinter was good and truly gone. Hamato Yoshi had returned. Carefully extracting himself from his baby brother’s clutches, Raphael stood and went to greet his father.

It was almost distressing to note that he was now as tall, or even a little taller, than his father. Certainly much thicker and broader. The hero of his childhood had shrunk, but the wisdom and warmth of dark eyes was still the same. And realizing this, the turtle found himself snatching the human into his arms, crushing him close for comfort. He’d missed his father.

Yoshi hugged back just as fiercely, and they remained that way for at least several minutes. When Raph found the courage to pull away, he stared into his father’s smiling face. “Sensei, I –”

“Welcome home, Raphael,” the former mutant interrupted gently. “I have missed you, my son.”

The warm reception and obvious display of forgiveness was not something Raph expected. So while he tried to pull himself together, he allowed Yoshi to wander towards the couch, to his other two sleeping sons. Raph watched as Yoshi smiled down affectionately at them.

“Raphael,” he called quietly, after petting the snoring Michelangelo’s head and a drooling Donatello’s shoulder. “I wish to speak with you.”

Old habits had the younger ninja rushing to his father’s old room, while Yoshi went into the kitchen. When entering, Raph took in the still familiar walls now considerably less decorated. It was different, in a way less intimidating, but sad and empty. Because here was Raph, bigger and stronger than he’d ever been, his father seemingly diminished. Yet at the same time, the unbalance of what he’d believed would never change left him jittery and ill at ease.

Once he was settled, it took only a few more minutes before Yoshi returned with two cups of tea. Handing one to his son, Sensei settled himself comfortably after shutting the shoji. It left the turtle feeling trapped.

“Tell me, my son,” the human began quietly. “You seem to have had many adventures in your time away. Did you find all you wished to seek?”

Of the family, Raphael had only ever admitted his restlessness, his anxieties to his father. Leo had always guess, always knew that there were things Raphael wasn’t sharing, but the younger turtle had only confessed bits of anything to Sensei. So it was their father alone who knew that Raphael’s reasons for leaving were not purely due to the desire to be with Mona Lisa. Yoshi had known that his son needed to be free, needed time away, time to think. There was something that he could not work out here. With his brothers.

Hesitating briefly, Raph nodded. “ _Hai_ , Sensei.”

“I see,” Yoshi took a sip from his cup. “And will you be staying here on Earth, or is this merely a visit?”

Shrinking down, just wanting to slip into his shell and never come out, the turtle replied, “I-I wanna stay.”

Sensei gave no indication that he was surprised one way or the other, nor did he bring up Mona Lisa and their relationship. Instead, the human nodded calmly, drinking his tea, a serene sort of expression on his features. But it didn’t soothe Raphael. In fact, seeing his father like this only agitated the big turtle. Because he couldn’t really be happy. Not with a son still missing!

And before he could stop himself, he blurted, “It’s all my fault, Sensei! If I hadn’t left, Leo would still be here! It’s because of _me_ he’s gone!”

No sort of censure was forthcoming, no disapproval, no reaction. Yoshi sat staring curiously at his son. It unnerved the turtle, who was almost desperate to have his father yell at him. He knew he’d caused a lot of trouble with his absence, he knew that running off with Mona had put a definite strain on the family even before he’d left. But he’d done it anyway. And now he wanted the pain that came with the punishment for his selfishness. Want to embrace it, wanted to feel _something_ after the shock of finding the brother he loved gone.

But Yoshi did not yell. Did not glare. Did not do much of anything save sip his tea. “This is about you?”

“W-what?”

The older ninja set down his cup. “I am merely curious as to why you believe your brother’s disappearance has anything to do with you.”

Raph stared at his father incredulously. “He’s gone ‘cause I _left_ , Sensei! He’s gone without a trace because I left first!”

“So you believe that Leonardo has gone because he wished to follow your example?”

That had Raphael biting his tongue. Because honestly, _Leo_ following one of _Raph’s_ crazy leads? There was no way in hell Leo would simply up and walk out on the family just because he wanted to be with someone. Fearless Leader was too responsible. And that’s what made this whole mystery that much more confusing.

As he processed this, the human smiled sadly. “No, Raphael. You are not to blame for Leonardo’s decision to leave. Perhaps your going added a small factor into his decision, but the fault is not yours alone to bear. I believe I have also contributed to his going as well.”

“Sensei?”

Now the human lost some of his serenity, his proud shoulders slanting. “I will tell you something I have not told your brothers,” Yoshi began quietly. “Before you left, I began discussing with Leonardo the possibility of becoming human again.”

Raph reeled back, shocked. “Leo _knew_?!”

“Yes. We spent many nights together discussing it, and he agreed that I should return to my human state to help Miwa.”

The turtle frowned, not understanding. “What’s wrong with her? Is she in trouble? Foot sh – uh, stuff?”

Yoshi sighed, rubbing at his short beard in agitation. “It has been kept quiet, even amongst the underworld, but Miwa is losing control of the Foot. We had believed she could disband the clan quietly, but it appears there are still those loyal to Oroku Saki’s memory. In order to help her keep the rebelling factions down, she needed someone with her. Someone who knew the old traditions of the clan.”

“She needed Hamato Yoshi.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation before the human nodded. “ _Hai_.”

“But I don’t get it,” Raph clenched his hands in frustration. “If Leo knew and accepted that, why would he _leave_? What’s this got to do with _anything_?”

“Everything, my son,” Sensei explained patiently. “With my transformation, I hoped to appoint Leonardo as head of this clan. To guide you and your brothers.”

Understanding flickered in Raph’s brain. All those late nights Leo came out of the dojo looking strained. All the extra time he’d spent with Splinter. All the stress-fights they’d had, especially when Raph declared he was leaving. All the nights the turtle had snuck into Raph’s room – not just for sex, Raphael realized – but for _comfort_. The pressure of becoming clan leader would have been hard on anyone, but adding the strain of a secret as big as theirs…

“Leonardo passed into the next level,” Yoshi continued to explain. “And it was decided that he would take over while I helped Miwa. But…one evening we awoke and found him gone. I fear…” the human looked down into his tea, shame lighting his eyes, “I fear I pushed him too hard. He is young, you all are, and there are times I forget this.”

Maybe they all did. As the two fell into silence, Raph decided that his father wasn’t the only one who took Leo’s durability and steadfastness for granted. Leonardo had always been so dependable, always so responsible. He rarely ever let them down on anything, and never when it truly mattered. Over the years, Leo had become their ‘Fearless Leader,’ the one they could always turn to when things got hard.

But even the greatest leaders had their limits. Raph, of them all, should have understood that.

“This is all my fault,” the younger ninja whispered, eyes squeezed shut. “I left ‘im. If he’d just had someone to-to talk to, or...”

He trailed off as the guilt returned in a flood. He’d thought the emotional rollercoaster would’ve been done for the day, but apparently not. Apparently he was meant to spend the rest of his life regretting his mistakes. A part of him wanted to feel bad, at least until the day Leonardo came back. If that day ever came.

“The decision to leave, especially in the manner he did, was Leonardo’s choice, Raphael,” Yoshi stated. “While I can understand that perhaps pressures were put upon him by outside forces, ultimately he is the one that chose to leave. The blame does not entirely rest on anyone’s shoulders.”

Raph was already shaking his head. This was it. He couldn’t stand it anymore. Everything was falling apart already, and the weight of what he and Leonardo had been doing behind everyone’s backs for the last several years was finally overwhelming him. It was so messed up, so horrific a truth, but he had to tell. Had to make everyone understand his true part in this disaster. And if Leo ever came back, if things ever went back to normal, Raphael didn’t want to hide anymore. Didn’t want to risk losing Leo again. He wanted a chance. And if he was ever going to get it, he would need to start opening up about the desire.

“It…it _is_ my fault, Sensei,” Raph heard the tremor in his voice, but pushed forward. “I…F-for a while now, me an’ Leo got…close. I was…I mean, I was someone he could…could talk to and – ya know – take f-frustrations out on.”

Peeking up, he noticed his father watching him closely. There was absolutely no emotion on Yoshi’s face, leaving Raph unsure of if the human understood what he was saying or not. And while blunt by nature, the turtle found he couldn’t quite get the words out. He willed his father to understand, to not make him say the words out loud.

Yoshi would not truly have been Raph’s father if he didn’t understand his son’s need. At least in part. Humming to himself, he took another sip of tea. “After you left, I sensed a change in Leonardo. He was upset, imbalanced.” Raph winced. “I believed that it was simply the natural feelings of sadness when having a loved one gone away. I had assumed that he would learn to cope with your absence and resume his responsibilities. He never truly did.”

Glaring down at his thighs, Raph felt another swelling of hatred for himself.

“Tell me plainly,” Yoshi’s stern tone snapped his son’s attention back to him. “What sort of relationship did you and Leonardo share?”

Face completely flushed, quaking, Raphael looked his father straight in the eye. “I love him,” he declared as steadily as he could. “I was a fool for not having realized it before.”

Again, there was no emotion on Yoshi’s face. “If you love him, why did you leave?”

“Because I knew ya would all think it’s _wrong_! H-how do ya tell your family you’re in love with your brother?”

The room plunged into pregnant silence. The only true sounds heard were the machines in Don’s lab and the distant rumble of the subways. Raphael tried to keep eye contact with his father, tried his best to remain steadfast and strong, the way Leo would have been. But the longer Yoshi stared at him, eyes completely unreadable, the more the turtle’s resolve started to crumble.

“Leonardo never confessed his attachment to you,” Sensei spoke, the first to break eye contact. “I asked him many times before and after your departure, but he never said a word. And now I understand. His grief was more profound than I had realized. I am sorry I did not see it sooner. I am sorry that you felt you could not come to me about this, my son.”

An apology from his father after admitting being in love with his older brother was not something Raphael had anticipated. In fact, as he sat staring at his father, everything that he had been bottling up finally burst. And it was in absolute horror that Raph found himself bawling in front of his father. Now an adult, here he was crying like a baby, all because he didn’t know how to deal with these feelings.

“I-I’m sorry!” Raph wiped furiously at his eyes. “I-I didn’t mean f-for this to ha-happen! H-he tried to tell me, tried to t-talk me out of goin’! But I-I didn’t listen! And it’s all m-my fault!”

The hug was unexpected, but certainly welcomed. And like the child he still was on the inside, Raphael clung to his father, burying his face into the human’s neck, wishing – _praying_ – that his father could make this all not true. Could wake him up from this strange, fucked up nightmare. Could bring Leo back.

They stayed together like that for several minutes at least before Yoshi pulled away, his own eyes wet from silent tears. Carefully the master wiped the eyes of his son. “You are not at fault, my son,” he restated firmly. “The decision to leave was Leonardo’s and his alone. Do not blame yourself needlessly.”

“Y-yer not mad? Disgusted with m-me?” Raph had to ask. There had never been room in his head for acceptance.

“Oh my child,” Yoshi sighed, hugging him briefly once more. “If you believe this, then I have failed you as a father.”

“What?! No!”

Hushing his son with a shake of his head, Yoshi continued. “I am not unsympathetic to you or your brothers’ situations in life. It always pained me to know that you four would grow up hated by humanity should they ever come to know of your existence, but also that you would be alone. There would never be any more of your kind. I wished to raise you as brothers, to ensure that you would at least have family to rely on and keep each other company. That you and Leonardo developed something more…I admit the idea is strange to me – you are both my sons – but it does not shock me. I have always known you two shared a special bond, ever since you were small.”

For _years_ they had worried about their family finding out. Raph had worried, to the point where he allowed the fear of judgement to cloud what should have been perfectly clear. While Leonardo had never said anything, Raphael had to believe that his brother understood what was happening between them. Their arrangement wasn’t just ‘stress relief’ or a means of ‘entertainment’ to him. That wasn’t Leo’s style. In the end, Raph was forced to conclude that Leonardo had thrown all his chips in for an all-or-nothing gamble to _keep_ Raph’s attention. All the risks the leader had taken shortly after finding out about Raph leaving, all the seduction and flirtation, all the fighting…Despite the fear of disgust and rejection, Leo had known and still fought to keep Raphael.

“I-I’m gunna find him,” the turtle vowed. “I’m gunna find him an’ April, and I’m gunna tell him how I feel. I’m gunna beg him ta forgive me, and if he does, I’m gunna be with him.”

Glancing up at his father, he found the human nodding. “Find Leonardo. Bring him home.”


	9. Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang's first attempt at putting the pieces together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stink at large group conversation. Next chapter should be better.
> 
> Thanks for all the love~ I've needed it this past week.

“What do you mean you called Casey?!”

Raph crossed his arms over his plastron as he sat at the breakfast table with his brothers and Mona, leaning back in his chair, watching his brother moodily. “He’s my friend, why _wouldn’t_ I call him?”

Donnie gave him a flat look, opening his mouth, but Mikey cut him off, sensing danger. “Okay! Sooo…we haven’t seen him for a while. It’ll be _nice_ to see him,” he stared pointedly at the genius.

Of course Donatello only rolled his eyes before turning away. Not at all impressed, the oldest brother made a longsuffering face at his ex. Mona only raised a brow ridge, her eyes twinkling, but she wisely kept quiet. She knew all about Donnie and Casey’s rivalry.

“He’s such a jerk,” Don muttered, taking a gulp of coffee. “Why does he have to come _here_? You could always go see him at _his_ place.”

Only seven in the morning and already Raph felt like bashing his head against something. Awesome start to the day. The fact that he hadn’t slept a wink after his father left the night before wasn’t helping his temper much. “Because, _Einstein_ , we’re gunna need his help.”

That had the others stilling, slowly looking up at Raph with varying degrees of confusion and dawning hope. “What are you talking about?” Don asked warily.

Steeling himself, knowing he was going to get mixed reviews, Raph replied as calmly as he could, “I’m gunna find Leo. You losers gunna help or what?”

Absolute joy blossomed on Mikey’s face as he stared at his older brother in pure adulation. “YES! I’m in, I’m in!” he bounced up and down in his seat before jumping over the table and latching on to Raphael, nearly causing the big turtle to fall backwards in his chair. “I am _so_ in, Bro!”

“ _Ach!_ Get off!”

“You’re…really going to look for Leo?” Don stuttered, even as his brothers teetered dangerously, the hothead attempting to pry the youngest off with a growl. “How? I mean, we looked _everywhere_ for them, how do you expect to find them?”

“Because I know him.”

The statement was bold and arrogant and from the faces his brothers were making, Raph knew suspicious. But since his father knew, there was little point in trying to hide the truth. But not wanting to completely shock them, he decided to drop hints over time. This had to be done slowly, delicately…which meant Raph would probably end up blurting it out at some point without thinking.

Attempting to ignore his brothers’ confused looks, Raph got off the hook when they heard a long, _loud_ call resonate through the lair. “Hey! Where the hell ya been, man?!”

Raph just managed to shove Mikey off of him before Casey plowed into him, crushing the turtle as best as he could. The human had definitely grown in his year of absence, taller than his best friend, and while muscular, Raph was pleased to note he was still bigger. Casey Jones was really becoming a man. And it was only due to his having been gone a year, after being such a jerk, that the hothead allowed the man-hug, knowing he was lucky his friend had taken the long silence so well.

Grumbling playfully, the turtle waited until his friend let go with a cackle. “Didn’t think ya’d actually be back so soon, man,” the human smiled widely, before giving Mona a wave. “Hey, Mona, how ya been? Keepin’ this numbskull outta trouble?”

The Salamandrian smiled back politely. “As much as I was able to, yes.”

“And so it begins,” Donnie muttered under his breath, staring down snidely into his coffee.

Instantly Casey was stalking towards the genius, with Mona sitting up, waiting to intervene if necessary. “Ya gotta problem with me, Don? Well fuck you! Can’t stop me from seein’ _my_ friend!”

Donnie scowled, but didn’t look up. “Didn’t say I was going to stop you. Although fair _warning_ would have been nice,” he sent a sideways scowl to his older brother before turning back to his breakfast.

“Come on, dudes!” Mikey pleaded. “Can’t we all just get along?”

“You know perfectly well we can’t!” the human rounded on youngest ninja.

Seeing that, watching his baby brother shrink back, set Raphael off. “ _Don’t_ talk to my brothers that way,” he snarled, shoving his friend backwards. “The fuck’s wrong with ya, anyways?”

And just like that, the entire reunion crumbled into a huge argument before discussion could begin. It got to the point where the four males were yelling so loud, things getting so heated, that Raph honestly couldn’t hear what anyone else was saying. He was exhausted from not sleeping the past twenty-four hours and still reeling from speaking to his father, which meant his fuse was dangerously short. But added on to all this, he was hurt. Hurt to see how much things had deteriorated without him. He’d believed that the friendships he’d left behind were stronger than this.

When the arguments were edging towards a brawl, at last Mona Lisa interceded. Without a second thought, she lashed her tail powerfully against the floor, the steel flail at the end crashing into the concrete, creating a thunderous _boom!_ The boys immediately stopped shouting. Mikey and Donnie flinched away, Casey stumbled back a few steps, while Raph dropped into a ready fighting position. Collectively it took them a full minute to understand what had just happened.

Sure that she had their attention, the Salamandrian hissed. “What is wrong with you?” she snarled, teeth bared and tail continuing its agitated whipping. “You have all come here because you share the common goal of finding Leonardo and April. Why are you wasting time and energy with this pointless bickering?”

While the males were properly shamed, Mikey leaned over, muttering to his older brother. “Dude, your girlfriend’s scary.”

And before Raph could speak, Casey came out of his stupor. “Whoa. Wait. Yer gunna try and find April?” he turned wide brown eyes to his friend. “Ya coulda told me _that_!”

“Not exactly somethin’ I wanted ta talk about over the phone,” Raph snapped, before taking a deep breath at Mona’s displeased glare. “Listen,” he tried again. “I talked with Master Sp – uh, Sensei last night. I promised I’d find Leo.”

“Don’t know why ya’d want that two-faced, lying sonuvabitch back,” Casey spat.

“ _Don’t_ call my brother that,” Donnie snarled, towering over the human.

Casey let out an incredulous laugh. “Are you _kidding_ me? You hate him as much as I do!”

“I don’t hate my brother!” the genius denied venomously. “I’m not happy with him, but I don’t – !”

“ _Enough_!” Mona roared. Mikey jumped to hide behind Raph, who was having a hard time not decking his best friend. “I am sick of your pettiness. Sit! Raphael – speak if you have something to say!”

Knowing that this was the last time they would get off so lightly, Raph attempted to swallow his anger. Because Mikey was right. Mona could be downright _scary_ when she was pissed. And right now, with everything that had been going on, her fuse was running just as short as his. Especially since she’d been forced to play peace-keeper so long.

Growling at the others to sit, Raph stood before his brothers and friend wondering how he could put the old team back together. He never thought his family could fall apart so thoroughly. “Listen,” he closed his eyes. “I know what it looks like, I know things don’t make sense, but I talked ta Dad last night…” And he proceeded to explain all that Yoshi’s had told him. About why he turned human, about Leo being named Clan Leader, about Miwa’s desperate struggle to hold control over the dangerous ninja faction, about everything.

When he was finished, he watched as his family tried to sort through the new information. “So what? Leo buggered off because he didn’t wanna be leader anymore?” Casey scowled.

Raph bit back a snarl. “ _Think_ about it, numbnuts! Leo – Mister Responsibility – just up an’ runnin’ away? Doesn’t make sense! We’re talkin’ about the turtle who’d do _anything_ for this family! He wouldn’t just leave ‘cause he didn’t wanna be leader no more. Somethin’s not right.”

“If there _is_ a good reason why he left, then why didn’t he _say something_?” Donnie pleaded, brown eyes wide and desperate. “I mean…why would he keep something that’s obviously so big from us?”

“You know how Leo is,” Mikey actually scowled. “He never tells us anything when something big’s going down.”

“But why wouldn’t he tell us about being clan leader? Why wouldn’t he trust us with…whatever else came up?” Donnie demanded.

“And why didn’t April say anything?” Casey added, leaning forward with his hands on the table. “I mean, she’s usually the ‘voice of reason’ an’ shit. Why did she just…leave? Especially with _Leo_?”

They were all valid questions and observations. But Raph didn’t have any answers. He had no idea what was going on or why any more than they did. The reasons as to why Leo would get up and go, allowing April to tag along, were mystifying. That neither had hinted about anything was worse. Leo could play a mean game of poker when he chose, but April? Usually if something was so obviously important, April wasn’t so good with keeping a straight face in front of friends or family.

“Okay, so all we know for sure is that Leo an’ April left, because there’s definitely somethin’ up,” Raph regained control of the conversation, refusing to acknowledge Casey’s attempt to butt in. “They _wouldn’t_ just up and ditch us. So…did any of ya see or hear them actin’ weird?”

Everyone frowned as they thought back to a time nearly a year ago. It was frustrating that Raph couldn’t be more helpful. If he’d been at home before Leo left, he _definitely_ would have noticed if something was up with Fearless Leader. While perhaps a bit creepy, Leo-watching had become one of his preferred past times. There was virtually nothing Fearless could have done that wouldn’t have gained Raph’s attention. Any secrets the eldest might have kept would have eventually been sniffed out. He and Leo had just become that close.

But the younger turtles were not as observant if they had no reason to be. Both Don and Mikey had hobbies that kept them entertained and focused. In some ways it was a miracle they had even noticed Leonardo gone as soon as they had.

Not unsurprisingly, it was Mikey who braved information first. “Well…Leo did sorta get… quieter,” the youngest offered. “But we thought it was because he didn’t always have to fight with you, heh.”

The sheepish smile faded from the Mikey’s lips quickly when he noted the devastation Raph wasn’t fast enough to conceal. So rushing on to cover the faux pas, Donatello took over. “Patrols got shorter, and he liked to split up more than usual. Or at least, he sent me and Mikey off together and he went by himself. Even if April or Casey went with us, he always went alone.”

“That ain’t right,” Casey shook his head. “There just before they left, Leo took April with him a few times.”

“Leo said it was because he didn’t want you and D fighting over her the whole time,” Mikey snorted as the other two males blushed.

 _So those times were probably when Leo and April started formulating their getaway,_ Raph mused. “Okay, so what else ya got?” Raph asked out loud. “You boneheads _had_ ta’ve noticed other weird shit.”

“Leo did get on another big health kick,” Mikey nudged Donnie. “Made us eat a lot of weird, ‘healthy’ stuff.”

“That’s right,” Donnie blinked, as if suddenly just remembering. “He even stopped drinking jasmine tea.”

Green eyes were blown wide. “Wait. Back up. _Leonardo_ stopped drinkin’ _tea_? And _that_ didn’t send off warnin’ bells to ya?!”

“Well, it was strange,” the genius conceded, “and we did ask him about it, but he argued that he needed to stop drinking so much caffeine. And he didn’t give up _all_ tea. He started drinking more ginger and dandelion. Sometimes chamomile.”

“We just thought it was part of the health-kick,” Mikey shrugged, eyes guilty as he realized it could have potentially been a clue.

Okay, so unusual tea choices could be added to the list of Leonardo’s behavioral changes. Right along with panicking over new responsibilities. Chamomile was a tea Raph could understand. The leader would often sneak a cup or two before bed to help him sleep. But as for the other two…he had no idea why they were even in the lair unless one of them was feeling particularly adventurous and wanted to try something new.

“What about that red one?” Mikey mused. “That really weird one?”

“Raspberry?” Donnie asked.

“Okay, enough with the teas!” Casey exclaimed in exasperation. “So Leo got creepy about health. Whatever. He’s done that before. Why are we even talkin’ about this? We should be tryin’ to get more clues to find April!”

“Idiot, this could be _critical_ information,” the genius snapped. “This could be why she left!”

“Do you think Leo’s sick?!”

Mikey was anxious now, blue eyes pleading with his big brothers, as if they could solve this nightmarish riddle and make everything better. There was nothing Raph would have liked more than to figure out this mess, but he had no idea. The stress he’d been under since finding out he’d become clan leader could explain Leo’s tea changes, which were used to help sleeplessness and anxiety, but there was something bigger going on here. April must have found out something. Maybe she’d learned about Leo becoming clan leader. But why would she run off then? Nothing made sense.

“Perhaps April took your brother to get treatment of some kind?” Mona Lisa offered, looking between the boys.

“If that’s the case, why didn’t either of them tell us where they were going? What they were doing? Why didn’t they come to _me_?” Donnie cried, the angst he’d felt all this time rising to the surface.

That he couldn’t figure out this riddle must have been a major blow to the turtle. As someone who prided themselves on having all the answers, of having _flowcharts_ on his brothers and their behaviors, this whole situation must have been torture for Donatello. A real shake of the genius’s confidence. That Donnie hadn’t thought to ask Sensei what he knew was proof of that. This was just one messed up mind-fuck.

“You know how Leo gets,” was all Raph could say. Because if there was something big going on and there was something wrong with their elder brother, it fit Leo’s personality to try to hide it. In some misguided idea to spare the family worry and pain no doubt, the leader never realizing that his secrets only ever ended up hurting them more. “But what about April? She get weird?”

“Just a little quiet,” Casey sighed. “Nothin’ much. Was lookin’ at school programs an’ shit. I thought that’s what she was worrying about.”

The group fell quiet, each straining to think, to understand. Because while they perhaps had a little more insight as to possible hints why the pair would go, it didn’t make the madness any clearer. Instead things became murkier than ever.

“What about Mr. O’Neil?” Raph asked after a moment. “What’d he have to say?”

“Not much,” Don sighed, rubbing his face. “When we went to see him, showed him the video, he…well…”

“He _flipped out_ , dude,” Mikey cringed at the memory. “Kicked us out and screamed at us.”

“He eventually told us what he could when we conducted our search of the city, but after a few weeks, he told us he never wanted us to come around again,” the genius muttered sadly.

“I heard he called the police and tried to have April tracked down, but I haven’t heard much since,” Casey shrugged. “I keep an eye out, just in case April’d be back, but I haven’t seen her.”

While never exactly a fan of Mr. O’Neil, the fact he had been so unhelpful made Raphael dislike him all the more. The human he remembered as a fidgety, mousy sort of man, who fell into weird fits when he thought his ‘precious baby girl’ was in trouble, freaking out on his family, hurting them when they too were suffering set the hothead’s blood boiling. Shit got personal.

“Well,” the big turtle cracked his knuckles ominously, smirking at his friends. “Guess we got a house call ta make.”


	10. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang comes up with a plan to track down April and Leo.

Barging through Mr. O’Neil’s window as soon as it was dark was probably not the best idea he’d ever come up with. But as Raphael watched the human fumble and bumble about, gaping stupidly at the three mutant turtles, the salamander-like alien, and the street punk wanna-be vigilante, he couldn’t be all that sorry. Because honestly, Kirby O’Neil was hilarious to watch when flustered. At least when it wasn’t completely infuriating.

When things settled down, Mikey calming his bouncing about and snooping through _everything_ , Casey not yelling at Kirby to start talking, Donnie stopping his profuse apologizing for everyone, and Mona wandering around the human apartment with interest, _finally_ they could get started. While Kirby was overwhelmed, sitting down hard on the couch, Raph decided that it was time to get back to business. Interrogations were _his_ specialty.

“Listen up, Kirby,” Raph began brusquely, ignoring Donnie’s mortified expression. “We wanna know what ya know about April’s leavin’.”

Still blinking, trying to make sense of the unexpected home invasion, the human stared at the big turtle with wide eyes, wincing at the glare of green orbs. “Wh-what?”

“A-P-R-I-L,” Mikey shouted near Mr. O’Neil’s ear. The youngest knew very well the man had heard, but was enjoying messing with him. And with no Fearless Leader to scold anyone, Raph decided to give his bro free reign. “You remember her, right?”

Kirby glowered over at the youngest turtle, before scowling back up at Raph. “Listen, I’ve told you all before, I don’t want you here anymore. You need to leave.”

“We are attempting to find April and Leonardo,” Mona Lisa came to stand beside her ex, tail swishing ominously. Her presence especially sent the human into a nervous fit. “You do not wish to have her found?”

“Of course I do!” Kirby cried, sitting up, before sighing, slumping back into the couch.

“Then tell us what ya know,” Raph demanded, not feeling particularly compassionate at the moment.

Donnie had gone in depth about what they had learned from Mr. O’Neil when Leo and April had first disappeared earlier that night. Telling them all about the private theories Kirby had shared with the other genius, working with him to find ways that they might track the wayward pair down. But since neither April nor Leo had taken their phones, nor had there been any notes, tracking became virtually impossible unless it was done the old fashioned way. And honestly, one could not truly track a vehicle on pavement in New York City, especially days after the fact. Of course when Donatello had come up short, unable to think of any other way to trace them, Kirby had severed ties.

While Don had done the best he could while under tremendous amounts of pressure and grief, the genius had become tired and discouraged. When Kirby told him to bugger off, he had. He wasn’t one for confrontation – _that_ was Raphael’s department. And with how frustrated and desperate he was, he didn’t feel like playing nice.

“Well?” the big turtle snarled when the human didn’t speak.

Sighing again, Kirby eyed the gang warily before standing. Casey followed after him, probably afraid the older man might just do something crazy like jump out the window onto the fire escape or run out the door. But instead of leaving, Kirby went into his bedroom before coming back out with a manila packet. Without a word, he went to the kitchen table, forcing the others to surround him, as he pulled out the contents.

“After you couldn’t find them, I called the police,” the heavy explanation began. “The first thing they tried was searching for her car…Turned out that it was stolen.”

“Stolen?!” Donnie nearly shrieked, lunging forward to look at the police reports.

Kirby nodded. “Said it was done by a bunch of amateur car thieves. They wouldn’t say where they found it, just that it was left sitting for days before they decided to take it.”

“So that means they wouldn’t have seen Leo,” Mikey breathed a sigh of relief.

“I doubt it,” the human confirmed, showing them the other police documents. “They never said anything about seeing anyone…strange.”

“But what’s this?” Don eyed a particular document full of numbers. “Bank records?”

“April and I still share a joint account,” Kirby nodded. “She doesn’t have her own completely separate account yet in case she’d get into trouble – that way I could help her if she needed me to. The police just confirmed my own thoughts, that if she was running, she would have had to have been spending money.”

“But everything stops here,” Casey pointed at the paper, frowning over Donnie’s shoulder.

A strange sense of foreboding came over Raphael, leaving him cold.

“Exactly,” Mr. O’Neil murmured. “It shows her spending money on gas a few times, some snacks from a convenient store, but that’s it. It stops a few days after they left.”

Pushing his way towards the others, Raph leaned over his brother’s shoulder to see the figures. It was sort of creepy. Seeing the normal spending and purchases made by April just suddenly…stop. Like she disappeared.

“Did she have an account at a different bank?” Raph asked, not sure why he was getting a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Not that anyone can find,” Kirby sighed. “But then, there’s only so much the police can do on this investigation. Technically April’s an adult, and if she wanted to leave and hasn’t done anything wrong, there’s nothing legally stopping her.”

Raph was about to snap, say something he’d probably regret, when Mikey pipped up. “That convenient store!” he pointed emphatically at the paper Don was still unfortunately holding, everyone jumping on him. “That’s that one where the weird Dream Beaver guy works!”

“You’re right!” Donnie blinked. “And that’s one of the gas stations we stopped at before and after the Invasion.”

“So they _did_ go out to the farm house!” Casey cried, nearly running out the door to go search.

“Wait, I thought ya said you guys went out there,” Raphael frowned. Something wasn’t adding up here – like everything else.

“We _did_ ,” Donnie set down the paper.

“So did I,” Kirby admitted. “I’ve been out there checking every so often. Especially after it was reported that the car was stolen near the farm house.”

“Then ya missed somethin’,” Raph growled, pushing the others away so he could make it to the window. “We need ta get out there and see if we can’t retrace their steps.”

“But what if the results aren’t any different?” Donnie questioned, but there was determination in his eyes, a fire that the older turtle was glad to see. “I’ve tried tracking them every way I can think of.”

“I have technology you do not,” Mona Lisa stepped forward. “The scanners I have here are rather basic, but you might be able to use them in some manner,” she held up her wrist device.

“Then it’s settled,” Raphael nodded. “We’re goin’ to the farm house.”

Both Casey and Mikey let out a whoop, the youngest turtle laughing as he leapt over the couch on his way to the window, Casey hot on his heels. Donnie snatched up the police reports and set them aright on the table, while Mona walked calmly after the boys. Kirby stood staring at the gang, obviously torn as to what he should be feeling.

“You’re going out there?” he was clearly stunned.

“That’s right,” Raph nodded, crossing his arms over his plastron. “And ya know what? _Yer_ goin’ with us.”

“Wh-what?!”

“Hey, yeah!” Mikey grinned. “Two scientists are better than one, right, D?”

The tall turtle hummed contemplatively. “Well, I could use help adapting whatever Mona has to my own systems. An extra set of eyes might be useful.”

“And I could use someone to switch out drivin’ with,” Casey agreed with a manic sort of grin. “No ‘ffense, but it’d be better if no one saw giant turtles drivin’ outta the city.”

As Kirby continued to sputter, the younger beings began formulating their plan. It was quickly agreed that they would pack up the Party Wagon and the Shellraiser, Kirby and Casey in the Wagon with their personal belongings, while Raph would drive the Shellraiser filled with Don’s tech. They’d switch people around as needed when they could get away with it. Of course they’d have to leave at night with the Shellraiser. It would look pretty odd if they had to go through the tolls and people saw giant turtles in the daylight.

So with it all plotted and cleared, the group left, deciding that tomorrow night would be best. Raphael hated the thought of being slowed down since they’d just gotten some momentum, but Donnie couldn’t work any faster in preparation. Especially since he was also going to have to run tests to see if he could use Mona’s scanners in any way that would help. And while not a fan of reports, Mikey reminded Raph that someone was going to have to talk to Sensei, tell him what they were up to. That his brothers were looking to _him_ to do it was strange. Raphael had never thought to report in to their father. That was…well, it had always been _Leo’s_ job.

But thankfully the night ended on a positive note. It only took a few threats from both Raphael and Casey before Kirby agreed to go. The human was still unsure around them, Mona especially because of what she was, but things worked out in the end. Kirby, at least, realized he couldn’t get out of this. Raph couldn’t understand why the human would be so reluctant. If it was _his_ daughter missing, he’d be out there turning the entire city upside down and then some! Not that he had a daughter, he was plenty stressed with trying to find a brother.

When they got back to the lair, Raph did call their father. Better get it over with before he forgot. While he talked to Sensei about their investigation, getting a report on Miwa and her involvement with the Foot in return, the others were busily working to prepare for tomorrow night. Mona and Donnie were holed up in the lab. The Salamandrian wasn’t exactly tech savvy, but she wasn’t an idiot, and when it came to her own devices, she certainly knew more than Donatello. Casey, in the meantime, went to look over the vehicles, ensuring that there was enough air in the tires, gas in the tanks, engines running up to specs. That left Mikey in the kitchen, chatting away merrily to Ice Cream Kitty as he prepared food and other provisions to take on their quest.

By the time Raph got off the phone, everyone was hard at work, leaving him feeling rather useless. He ended up standing in the middle of the pit listening for a few minutes. He was next to hopeless in the kitchen, so he left Mikey to it, and he’d be no help to Don and Mona either. Let them speak geek. Instead he went to see if Casey needed a hand. When the human looked up from under the hood of the Party Wagon, he grinned, his cave mouthed smile wide and bright. Offering an eye roll, the turtle got to work, mostly offering second opinions since he was out of practice with Terran machines.

The two worked in companionable silence until Casey decided to break the ice. Well… _smash_ the ice, really. “So, you and Mona?” Raphael paused. “What’s it like, dude? I mean, you gettin’ hitched or whatever they call it in space?”

If there was anyone Raph could open up to about the details of his relationship with Mona Lisa, it was Casey. He didn’t need his brothers heckling him or asking too many questions, didn’t want to be the one to shatter their naivety. Telling secrets to Casey was different. While a complete moron, Case was a good guy, surprisingly loyal and able to keep quiet, and not just because Raph threatened to beat the hell out of him if he didn’t. But he didn’t exactly feel like giving away too many details about the failed relationship. It was…embarrassing. Then again, he was going to have to open up eventually.

“Ain’t gettin’ hitched,” he shrugged, not taking his eyes off the engine. “Mona an’ I aren’t…we’re not together…Ya know…like that…anymore.”

If he could have been anymore awkward, Raph honestly would have been impressed. Because that was just sad. Thankfully Casey wasn’t in the mood to mock, and while the turtle didn’t have to look up to notice his friend’s surprise, the human turned back to his work. He’d apparently done some maturing…not much, but some.

“Yeah?” Casey asked instead, trying to play if off like it wasn’t a big deal. “You two seem pretty…I dunno, close?”

“Mutual breakup,” Raph offered, grabbing a shop rag to wipe his hands. “Just didn’t have that spark, ya know?”

Casey raised an eyebrow, but nodded along anyway, closing the top of the Wagon and moving on to the Shellraiser. “Seemed pretty gung-ho before ya left. I woulda thought, ya know, from the way ya talked, you and Mona’d be married by now. Or whatever space salamanders do.”

A hot flush burned the turtle’s face as he thought of himself and Mona together as mates. The idea had actually seemed possible before, but now…? Now he almost cringed. Because while he knew he and Mona could have probably had an okay life together, could have figure out something to make it bearable, they wouldn’t have been complete. They would have settled. And that’s not what the turtle wanted. More than anything he wanted Mona to be happy, to have a love that cared truly and deeply about her, who adored her. It wouldn’t have been fair for her to have Raph, who lusted and pined after Leonardo.

“Just didn’t work out,” he sighed.

“Well…glad yer okay with it, man,” Casey clasped the turtle on the shoulder. “You are okay with it?”

“’Course. Now what’s with the ‘Raiser?”

Sappy conversation done and over with, the two continued their work until they were satisfied nothing would break down or give them problems along the way. And when they were finished, Donnie recruited them to do some heavy lifting, loading everything up. By then Mikey, too, was helping, humming and dancing about. It was good to see him so vibrant. Coming home to a desperate, sad baby brother was just about the most terrible thing Raphael had ever seen. Even if Mikey was getting a little annoying with his jokes and dragging Kitty with him everywhere he went, he wasn’t going to rain on his brother’s parade – not yet, at least. There was only so much Raph could stomach, after all.

And when everything was settled for the night, morning was fast approaching. Since Casey had elected not to go to college, he didn’t have to worry about running to any classes and wouldn’t be missed. Instead, he called in and rather abruptly quit his part-time job at a local gas station. “Was gunna quit anyway,” he shrugged when the others asked him about the drastic step, and accepted it when realizing they weren’t sure how long this search would actually take. Casey was in for the long hall, and Raphael was grateful.

So with nothing else to do and dawn coming over the city, Casey was invited to crash on the couch. Donnie opted to stay in the lab a while longer before heading to bed, still testing some of the scanner Mona had provided, while Mikey dove into his room and promptly fell asleep. With Mona using his room, that left Raphael feeling displaced. He wanted to be alone for a while, not wanting to sleep out in the pit with Case. And Donnie’s room was definitely a no-go, no telling _what_ kind of experiments were lying around to kill him. That eventually led to the turtle standing outside the only other set up bedroom in the lair.

It almost felt like sacrilege entering into Leonardo’s room. Like opening a tomb. But as he pushed open the door, taking in the tidy space, Raphael felt himself slump as the sorrow of having lost his brother came back to him. This was _Leonardo’s_ room. His sanctuary. A place where he could shed his leader title and truly be himself. A place he had opened up to Raphael, to show the real turtle behind the Fearless mask.

Shutting the door quietly, Raph almost tiptoed inside. It hadn’t changed since last he’d been here. Not that he could tell, anyway. The walls were still mostly bare, a few posters and wall hangings adding a touch of color. The bed was still impeccably made, the book shelves filled with history books and strategy guides. There was even incense still in the holder, keeping vigil as it waited for the master of the room to return.

Sitting down on the bed, remembering all the good times he’d had there, all the peaceful moments, Raph eventually slumped over, burying his face into the pillows. They still smelled of Leonardo and he curled around them possessive. Comforted for the first time since he was home, Raphael fell asleep.


	11. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang makes their way out to the farm house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling productive this week, so stay tuned!

_“Raphie.”_

_He couldn’t believe he was doing this. That they were doing this. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. Because it was too good to be true. Something that shouldn’t have been happening. Something he shouldn’t have wanted._

_But he did_.

_“Raphael.”_

_The soft moans and whimpers were heavenly, impossible. Who was this creature beneath him? This was not the indomitable Fearless Leader he knew. This wasn’t the perfect older son. This creature was submissive, soft. This creature was breathtakingly beautiful._

_“Please.”_

_So soft. So beautiful. It made his heart ache with an unfamiliar longing. He wanted more. Needed_ _more. Couldn’t get enough. He wanted. Always, forever._

_“Don’t stop.”_

_Pulling back just enough to stare down at the lovely, wreathing creature, he watched as hazy blue peeked up at him, half lidded and lusting. He was drowning, falling into the depths, sinking._

_“Take me~”_

_Diving in deeper, he braved the abyss. Always. Forever._

**oOoOoOo**

Insistent knocking woke him from deep slumber. Rolling over onto his shell with a moan, Raph forced open his eyes, blinking stupidly until he was staring up at a concrete ceiling. He felt like complete shit. Heavy and uncoordinated. Like he’d been hit with one of those damn war hammers G’Rothma was fond of. Head pounding, limbs achy, the turtle had to take a moment to lay still before attempting to get up.

“Raph?” came another round of knocking on the door. “Raphie-roo? Raph-ster? Raph-a-laffa? Raphie-taffy? Ra –”

“Oh, for _fuck’s_ sake!” he snarled, getting up, ignoring the dizzy spell in order to rip open the door. “WHAT?!”

Mikey jumped back, far outside of the striking range of the angry ninja, before smiling wickedly. “Heh… Morning, Bro!”

Scowling blackly, the older turtle rubbed at his face. He felt like he had a hangover, and getting his blood pressure up this early wasn’t exactly helping. “Wha’d’ja want?” he snapped.

Ever the little ball of sunshine, Mikey grinned at his brother, clearly enjoying tormenting him. “Dad’s here with Miwa.”

That had the older turtle’s anger stalling as he looked back up at his brother. “Wha?”

“Yup! Besides, it’s time to get up anyway. We’re headin’ out soon, _remember_? Geez, dude! Get with the program!”

Unimpressed, Raph slammed the door in Mikey’s face just because he could. Turning, it was tempting to flop back into bed and sleep for another few hours before he remembered he wasn’t in his room. This was _Leo’s_ room. Standing straighter, feeling like a little kid caught with his fingers in the cookie jar, the turtle looked around the empty room, disappointed. For half a second he almost expected to see Leonardo staring at him from the bed, blue eyes hazy from interrupted sleep.

To distract himself from the heartache, the ninja went to get dressed, only to realize that he was already. He’d fallen asleep in his gear. Hell, even his sai were still hanging on his belt. How the hell he’d managed to sleep without getting impaled was a mystery. Must not have moved at all during the course of the morning.

There was no reason to be in here anymore, no reason to linger. But Raphael did. This room, it was comforting, even if it made his heart bleed. The reminders of Leonardo were both welcomed and painful. Hands twitching, the turtle found himself shuffling over to the bed. Eyes flickered over to the nightstand and he couldn’t stop himself from opening the drawer. He’d never seen inside before, but what he found was not all that surprising.

The biggest object was a composite notebook, probably gifted by Donnie. There were a few other things inside as well, such as spare candles, matches, and extra grit for sharpening katana. Grabbing the notebook, Raph only felt a little bad for reading it. A part of him hoped it was a journal, that it could illuminate any possible reasons as to why Leo had left. Sadly, however, opening it revealed nothing but notes, short accounts of battels and critique snippets on what could have been done differently to maximize efficiency. The dork actually _studied_ victories as critically as failures.

Snorting, Raph got up from the bed. On a whim he decided to take the notebook with him. It was surprisingly nice to see his brother’s handwriting.

When he finally immerged from the room with the pack he’d be taking, not only was his father and sister there, but Mr. O’Neil as well. In fact, everyone was out in the pit, talking and getting ready for the next adventure, Donnie jumping here and there in a last minute effort to ensure they had all they’d need. When he saw his father and Miwa speaking to Mona Lisa, the turtle flushed dark, realizing this was the first time they had ever met. His human family was meeting the female he’d left the planet for. _Fuck_. And from the way Miwa was standing, hip cocked out to the side, it was clear that she wasn’t impressed.

Rushing over to the trio, leaving Mikey to plague Kirby, Raph came to stand beside his ex. “Uh, ‘sup.”

“Hello, my son,” Yoshi smiled serenely.

“Hey,” Miwa nodded, eyeing her brother coolly.

They lapsed into a thick silence before Mona Lisa decided to come to the rescue. “It has been nice to finally be introduced to your father and elder sister,” she smiled reassuringly.

Not feeling the least bit better, the turtle nodded. “Yeah, right…”

“Aww, he’s blushing~” Mikey crowed from beside Mr. O’Neil, cackling madly at the death glare he received. He even pushed the envelope and started making kissy noises.

Miwa smirked, her painted lips twisting almost unpleasantly. Yoshi turned to his youngest, scolding him lightly. “Michelangelo.”

The baby continued to cackle, before he returned to annoying Kirby. Mona Lisa fell into conversation with Yoshi, returning to a previous topic in an attempt to cover her friend’s embarrassment. That left Raph standing awkwardly beside Miwa. She was regarding him intensely.

When the others were properly distracted, with a low voice, the kunoichi turned on her brother. “I’m not sure what happened between you two before you left, but if Leo’s hurt or dead because of you, you better not bother coming back,” she hissed.

More comfortable receiving the threat, Raph sneered at the young woman. Miwa had done a little growing, her hair longer, but her attitude, at least, was exactly as he remembered. Not bothering to grace her with a response, the ninja worked to keep her words from shaking him. If Leo was hurt or dead because of him, he really wouldn’t be coming back. He didn’t need the threat to ensure that.

“I mean it,” Miwa insisted as he retained an outwardly blasé front. “I know something happened between you two. Your going away screwed him up, and I know it’s _your_ fault he left. So don’t bother coming back without him.”

“Nice to see you again, too, sis,” Raph rolled his eyes. “Always a pleasure.”

For how angry she was, the kunoichi didn’t react. Eventually some of the hostility bled from her stance. “He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong,” the admittance was soft. Sad. “But you better bring him home.”

Their relationship had never been easy. The moment Raphael had laid eyes on Miwa – then Karai – he knew she was trouble. And not just because of the effects she’d had on Leo. There was just something about her that set him on edge, made him dislike her. And he knew the feeling was mutual. Leo had once told him that he and their sister were actually a lot alike. Both impulsive and hot tempered. Raph hadn’t taken kindly to the comparison, and honestly didn’t see the similarities. But trusting Leo’s judgement now, the turtle knew that if their positions had been reversed, he would have been acting the same way. He’d done his fair share of threatening in the past where Leo was concerned, it was only fair that she be able to reciprocate, he supposed.

Coming to an understanding, Raph nodded slowly, holding his sister’s eye. When she was satisfied, Miwa nodded and turned back to the conversation between their father and Mona. There was nothing else to be said between them.

“Okay, okay, can we just _go_?!” Casey cried from out in the tunnel, having had enough.

Donnie came out of his lab after checking over everything one last time. “I think we’re all set,” he agreed. “We can get going at any time.”

“Aw yeah!” Mikey cried, jumping away from Kirby, and rushing straight to Yoshi. Nearly plowing the human over, the youngest turtle squeezed the man tight, nuzzling into his chest affectionately. “Bye, Dad.”

Smiling warmly, Yoshi returned the hug after steadying himself. “Goodbye, my son. Be safe and be well.”

“Sure thing!” Turning to Miwa, Mikey handed her a cooler. “Just make sure you visit Kitty everyday so she doesn’t get lonely, ‘kay?”

Miwa offered a real smile at the youngest. “We’ll do our best. Bye, Mikey.”

It sort of surprised Raph to see her willingly open her arms to receive a hug. In the past the kunoichi was never one for open displays of affection. In the past the only one she was even remotely comfortable with touching her at all was Leo. Apparently things had changed over the year he’d been gone.

Donnie, too, received hugs from both their father and Miwa, while Kirby was given coolly civil wishes to stay well. Mona nodded pleasantly to the humans, receiving handshakes gracefully enough – she still could not grasp the human use of them very well – before she walked after the younger turtles, Donnie having to drag a sad Mikey away from Ice Cream Kitty. When it was just him and the humans, Raphael shuffled forward, unsure as to what he should say or do.

Thankfully Yoshi didn’t hesitate and embraced his son. “Stay safe,” he murmured. Pulling away, Raph caught Miwa’s eye. She nodded at him.

“Let’s _go_ already!” Casey demanded, hoking the horn of the Party Wagon.

Growling, Raph stalked off towards the awaiting vehicles. “I’m _comin_ ’! Sheesh, hold yer damn horses!”

Clambering into the Shellraiser, sitting behind the wheel calmed the big turtle. He could almost trick himself into believing that it was like old times. Just him and his brothers out on some mission. Donnie sitting in the back chattering away about whatever project he was working on, while Mikey was laughing, spinning around in one of the chairs. The only thing missing was Leonardo lecturing and scolding them about staying focused. In the leader’s place was Mona Lisa, who sat at Raph’s old post at weapons, smiling and waiting to be told what to do if need be.

It wasn’t completely like the old days, but it was close. Irritatingly close. Raph supposed that if he was ever going to fix it, he was just going to have to drag Leo back home to make everything better. Whether the turtle wanted it or not.

**oOoOoOo**

The drive to the farm house was probably the most exhausting endeavor Raph had ever done. Between Casey and Mikey wanting to actually make the Party Wagon a ‘party wagon,’ forcing someone to have to watch over the two morons, that left Raph trapped with the nerd crowd. Which was annoying as hell. And if the geek-speak wasn’t bad enough, Casey and Mikey insisted on keeping in contact with the other vehicle with the shell-cells. It was like driving a fucking school bus. Seriously.

The farm house couldn’t come fast enough!

When they finally made it out into the country, the sun had risen and it was well into the morning. Donnie insisted that they unload equipment first before anyone could get inside and go to bed. Everyone was ordered to help, so that in a matter of a few hours, the genius would have the barn set up to begin working. Mona and Mikey began unloading the vehicles and carrying in luggage while Casey went to scout out the area, make sure there was no one wandering too close to see the mutants.

Deciding he’d better help, Raph grabbed some of the bags, throwing a few things at Kirby in the process. Now that they were alone, he decided to make conversation. “So. You waited a long time before callin’ in the police.”

The human stiffened before grabbing something to take into the barn. “Yes. Since your brother was involved, I didn’t think you’d want me calling human authorities right away.”

 _Defensive._ “True,” Raph shrugged. “Real thoughtful of ya.”

Mutant involved or not, it didn’t match Kirby’s character that he would wait and wouldn’t immediately do whatever he could to track down his daughter. Wasn’t usually like him to worry about the turtles that much.

There was a strained silence between the two until finally Kirby let out a sigh, turning towards the reptile. “Look, if you have something to say, just say it.”

Impressed by the frankness, the turtle turned to glare at the man. “You know somethin’,” he accused, stabbing a finger at the man without hesitation. “What haven’t ya been tellin’ us?”

Kirby’s blue eyes were wide, but after struggling with himself momentarily, his shoulders drooped. “I…April did tell me that she was going to be gone for a while.”

Something inside of Raphael snapped. “SONUVABITCH!”

The turtle dove on Kirby, latching onto the man, intent on beating the shit out of him. He only managed to get one good punch in before Donnie sprinted out of the barn and Casey from the edge of the woods, stopping the rampage before it could truly begin. That didn’t stop Raph, though. He struggled against the hands holding him back, clawing at Kirby, wanting to tear his face off. Mikey and Mona came out by then, drawn to the commotion, and instantly held onto the big turtle as the human scurried out from under him.

“Raph! RAPH! What are you doing?!” Donnie cried.

“He knows!” Raphael roared, struggling now against four pairs of hands. “Sonuvabitch _knows_! He knew all along! Where the _fuck are_ _they_?! WHERE’S LEO?!”

There was confusion among the others briefly, before Casey let go, gaping in shock at the man still sitting on the ground. “Wh-what? You _know_?!” he exclaimed.

When Casey let go, Raph surged forward, seeing nothing but red. All he wanted to do was grab the human’s neck and throttle him. All this time, all the wasted effort, and Kirby had _known_. It was one thing to suspect him of withholding information, but for him to just…just _admit it_? Dragging the others along with him as he fought to reach the man, the turtle became nearly unstoppable. “WHERE ARE THEY?!”

“I don’t know!” Kirby cried, flinching back when he noticed Casey coming towards him.

Mikey was forced to let go of his brother in order to stop the vigilante. With yet more loss of weight, Raph saw his chance and dove at the redhead. “STOP!” Donnie cried.

“RAPHEAL!” Mona Lisa tried to force the turtle back.

But he couldn’t stop now. Since coming home he’d been working to keep himself under control. He’d wrestled with his temper, trying to remain reasonable. Well he was sick of it! Sick of holding back. He’d never been good at expressing his emotions. That’s how this whole stupid thing got started, isn’t it? All because Raph couldn’t just open up, couldn’t just say what he’d felt for Leo in the first place.

Tearing an arm free, he reached out to Kirby, but Donatello stepped in the way, physically putting himself in between his brother and Mr. O’Neil. “Raph, Raph,” he danced around, trying not to get hit by irate turtle.

“Outta my way, Don!”

“No,” the genius held up his hands, ready to defend himself if need be. “You need to calm down, Raph. Raph! Come on. Just…just calm down and we’ll figure this out.”

“But he _lied_!” Casey shouted from behind, almost as uncontrollable as his friend. “He _lied_ to us! All this time!”

“Listen!” Kirby held his bloody nose. “L-let me explain!”

“Then speak!” Mona snapped, still attempting to hold her ex back.

Finally pulling out of Mona’s hands and shoving Donnie aside, Raphael stalked towards Kirby, grabbing the man roughly by the front of his shirt. Drawing the sniveling coward forward until they were nose to nose, he snarled through clenched teeth. “Ya better start talkin’, or I’m gunna start hittin’. Got it?”

Shaking, the human nodded. So dragging his victim into the barn, the others following closely behind, Raph threw Kirby into some bales of hay and waited for the man to explain. It didn’t take long.

“A-April told me originally she’d be gone f-for a few weeks – s-six weeks at most.”

“Where?” Casey came up besides Raph, pointing a baseball bat at the man.

“I-I don’t know!” Kirby cried again. “Sh-she didn’t even tell me she was going with your brother! She just said she was going away for a month, maybe a little longer, t-to see a friend.”

“Friend?” Donnie frowned. “What friend?”

“I-I have no idea. She didn’t say.”

“What other friends does she have?” Mikey blurted, looking to Casey to fill in the blanks.

“How should _I_ know?”

Ignoring the others, Raphael kept his attention on Kirby. He knew the human hadn’t been telling him something, but he hadn’t expected it to be something so huge. “That’s why ya didn’t call the cops right away,” he reasoned out loud. “Ya waited until the deadline was over.”

“Y-yes,” Kirby admitted with a sigh. “A-after that I called the police, and started to look for her myself. I-I never found anything. I didn’t even realize she’d left her phone behind until later.” Raph growled. “I swear! That’s i-it. I don’t know anything else!”

The group fell silent as the younger beings wrestled with the new information. So April was still looking out and being responsible. She’d at least told her father she was going away for a while. “Why didn’t ya tell us sooner?” Raph demanded.

“Sh-she told me not to s-say anything,” blue eyes pleaded with the group. “Said she’d explain everything when she g-got back.”

But she hadn’t come back, and neither had Leo. Without thinking, Raph spun around and punched one of the wooden beams, dust and bits of straw raining down. He pummeled the beam a few more times before stalking out of the barn and storming off into the woods. He needed some time to think.


	12. A Clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang finally gets a clue as to what could have happened to Leonardo and April.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy It's My Birthday! You all get another chapter. :)

It took several hours of wandering the woods, punching trees and kicking brush, before Raphael could calm down. But even then he didn’t feel better. The scabs on his knuckles had reopened and his feet and legs had been scratched from the thorns in the brush. But that didn’t slow him down. Consumed by rage, he knew the best thing to do was stay away. Before he’d give into instinct and kill Kirby.

Finding a nice wide tree to sit under, the turtle eventually plopped down, glaring at the dirt. In the distance he could hear the trickling of water. The last time he’d been out here was almost two years ago, just after April and Casey graduated high school. They’d wanted to celebrate their continued journey to adulthood with the turtles by escaping responsibility for a little while. That was when things had been okay, everybody happy.

Sighing, running his hand over his head, Raphael willed himself to understand what could have happened to April and Leo. Kirby’s admittance to knowing about April planning to leave, even getting an estimate in when to expect her back, meant that something must have gone wrong. April had anticipated being gone six weeks tops, and yet here they were, almost ten full months later without any idea as to what had happened to the pair.

Growling in frustration, Raph stood, debating on whether or not he should return to the house. It had been hours and he’d been up all night driving, only stopping for gas twice. The others were probably getting worried. Especially with all the weirdos wandering the woods in search for Big Foot the last few years. _Good luck, losers, the Finger’s hidden her away too well._

Turning back the way he’d come, deciding that he should go to bed, Raph startled when he nearly ran face first into the side of an animal. Giving a shout, the turtle was amazed that the beast hadn’t run off. Upon closer inspection, however, found black eyes glaring at him.

“No way,” he breathed.

It was a buck, the deer that had led them on their spirit quest! He was _sure_ of it!

Before the ninja could do anything other than gape stupidly, the stag took off at a dead sprint. Unwilling to let it go, Raphael gave chase, running as fast as his legs could carry him. Twisting around tree trunks, jumping over briars, the turtle followed the spirit, determined to catch up. It just _had_ to be a sign!

A part of him warned that he should not become too excited. This deer might not truly be the weird spirit from the past, and even if it was, that didn’t mean it was here to help him with something as petty as finding a lost brother. It probably had better, more spirity things to do. And even if it was trying to help, it wasn’t like Raph was any good when it came to interpreting the spiritual anyway. That was Leo’s bit.

Charging into a clearing, the ninja skidded to a halt when he realized that the stag was nowhere in sight. It had vanished. _Where the fuck did it go_! How could this have happened?! It had been right there a minute ago! Cursing freely, unable to keep temper, Raph screamed out his frustrations. This just wasn’t fair! He’d seen it! It had been right _there_ …

_“Raphael.”_

The call of his name had the turtle freezing mid rant. Turning, he stared across the clearing with wide eyes. “Leo?”

Tears trickled freely from green eyes as they beheld the sight of his beloved brother. It was him! Leo! But the leader looked different. His face gaunt, demeanor severe. He was clothed, too, all in black. The blue mask was gone, as well as the simple brown leather gear. He almost didn’t look like the same turtle. And yet there was such tenderness in blue eyes as he smiled, that nothing else matter.

Raphael tried to speak, tried to move, to fall to his knees to beg forgiveness, to explain everything, but he couldn’t. His limbs were frozen, his mouth numb. In horror he watched as Leo turned his shell to him and melted back into the shadow of the woods. Leonardo was gone.

Panicked, the larger turtle forced his tongue to work. “WAIT!”

But Leo was already gone. Merged with the shadow, disappearing completely. And the next thing Raphael knew, the ground was crumbling out from under his feet, and he was falling, screaming as he descended into a black abyss…

“RAPH!”

Gasping, Raph flung his arms out madly in an attempt to protect himself. Looking around wildly, the turtle realized he wasn’t falling. In fact, he was on very solid ground, still in the clearing he’d stumbled into where he’d lost the deer. Panting, he flinched back when a hand settled on his shoulder. Glaring up, he found the very concerned face of Michelangelo hovering above him.

“Dude, you okay?” the younger ninja asked with obvious alarm.

“Fine,” he nodded quickly. “Okay,” he scrambled to his feet, embarrassed.

“Man, that musta been one messed up dream,” Mikey frowned, dusting pieces of grass off his brother’s arm. “You were really thrashin’.”

“Dream?”

Now that he was calming, Raph inspected the area. There was no deer, no Leonardo. But he did realize he was in the exact same spot where he’d first taken Leo to walk when he’d woken up from his coma after the Invasion. It seemed so long ago. But this is where the two had come to walk each day, Raphael desperate to alleviate his brother’s depression and help him regain his strength. The spirit had led him here.

“You _sure_ you’re okay, Raph?” Mikey questioned, clearly not convinced.

“Fine,” the older brother snapped. He walked on shaky legs to the stream. Stooping down, Raph cleaned his hands, allowing the dried blood to wash away. As he worked to regulate his breathing, he squinted up at the sun. It was well into the morning, going on noon. Bright and sunny.

“Ya didn’t…ya didn’t see nothin’, did ya?” Raph asked, unable to help himself, still dazed from the vision. It wasn’t like the vision he’d had before when following the spirit the first time. This vision felt more hopeless, Raphael unable to fight any monsters, only watch as his world crumbled helplessly.

It probably wasn’t helping anything to be so pessimistic, but it was hard not to be. Hard because his life was still turning upside down. He hadn’t even been home a week yet and already his worst nightmares were coming true. But the sighting of the stag was a good sign, right? Leonardo had been the one that had seen it the most, more than his brothers, and often instructed them to heed its wisdom if they could. Sometimes Raphael was convinced the leader could actually see spirits, the way he stared off dreamily, how he just seemed to _know_ no matter how confusing life became. So what had the stag been trying to tell him now? What would Leo think?

Now completely freaked out, Mikey grabbed at his brother’s arm, guiding him back towards the house. “I didn’t … did _you_?”

Raphael sighed. “I’m…not completely sure.”

“Come on, dude,” Mikey tugged. “Not good being out in the woods alone. There’re _squirrels_ out here,” he whispered in horror.

Rolling his eyes, jerking his arm out of his brother’s hold, Raph pushed on ahead. “Faced off with aliens and monsters, and yer _still_ afraid of squirrels. Some ninja.”

“Hey!” the younger turtle pouted. “They’re terrifying, okay!” He paused. “What did _you_ see? Chasing after white rabbits?” he teased with a laugh.

Raph snorted. “Somethin’s really wrong with yer head, ya know that?”

“Hey, dude, you see a white rabbit, you follow it! It’s, like, the law!”

There was no arguing with him when he got like this. So ignoring his brother, Raph led them back to the house. Mikey would cling on to Raph’s arm whenever they entered into ‘squirrel territory,’ and the older ninja tried to bear the antics as best as he could, but with his head pounding and his hands throbbing, it wasn’t easy. He needed sleep. Real sleep. Hopefully he could get some rest without any dreams.

As they went, neither saw dark eyes watching them retreat into the forest.

**oOoOoOo**

The atmosphere around the farm was tense. With the varying degrees of volatile emotions, it was little wonder. For nearly three days they searched for clues as to what had happened to their friends, frightened with what might have gone wrong for them not to have returned, arguing over what ‘friend’ April might have left the city to see. With Leo involved, it narrowed the list down to exactly _zero_ suspects that anyone could think of as there was no one that the brothers could come up with that the leader would willingly go to see that wasn’t in the city.

“Ugh!” Mikey groaned dramatically, throw his arms in the air. “This is taking _forever_!”

The gang was crowded in the barn, staring at the charts Donnie had whipped up. There was a chalkboard filled with plausible theories as to what could have happened. Early on they had written down possible banks April might have opened accounts at since she was no longer using her joint account with her father. But of course that theory was knocked immediately since she hadn’t withdrawn any large amounts of cash, and couldn’t have opened a new one with less than one hundred dollars. If she had a new account, she would have had to have opened it with the money she had on her, or sold something or gotten enough money secretly.

The car was another issue. In all probability it had been stolen from the farm. There was oil drops in the barn matching with the kind April’s car used – Casey even confirmed that the vehicle had always had a minor oil leak. And judging from the tracks Donnie had observed from months before, there was only one set that showed the car coming into the barn, and one going out. So that meant either the thieves had stolen the car _here_ or in a small rest oasis not far from here, stranding April and Leo wherever they’d been.

It’d been theorized that perhaps they’d gotten picked up by the mysterious ‘friend’, possibly didn’t even know about the car being stolen. But of course that led them back to the infuriating question of _who the hell this ‘friend’ was_! It was enough to make Raph want to scream.

“Calm down, Mike,” Donnie scolded lightly, staring at the flow charts he’d made.

“Had to be someone from school,” Casey mused, going back to the riddle of the friend. “But that could literally be _anyone_.”

“But April wouldn’t tell just anyone about Leo,” Donnie denied. “And I don’t think Leo would want any random human knowing about mutants. He was never very keen on our existence getting out more than necessary.”

“Do you think that perhaps she introduced Leonardo to someone from school?” Mona Lisa asked, tail gently swishing behind her as she thought. “You did say Leonardo preferred to go on patrols alone. Perhaps he met this friend and agreed to go with April?”

“As what, protection?” Casey sneered. “April can take care of herself!”

“I don’t think so,” Donnie answered Mona. “Remember the recording? Leo was the one asking April if _she_ wanted to ‘do this’. That makes it sound like he was the one instigating…whatever this is.”

“Then perhaps to help Leonardo with ‘whatever this is,’ April recruited a friend to help?” It was easy to see that Mona was getting just as sick of the mystery as the rest of them.

The males thought about that, and the genius nodded slowly. “Maybe.” Donnie conceded. “But that doesn’t really answer anything.”

Growling, Raph ground his teeth together, wondering if it was possible for his head to explode from aggravation. “Ya checked her phone?” he snapped. “See if she was textin’ anyone?”

“I told you, I already did,” Donnie turned back to his computer, pulling up the text threads from both Leo and April’s phones.

Leonardo’s was easy to go through and showed nothing surprising. Everyone he texted were either family, April, or Casey, with the occasional one to a member of the Mutanimals. The thread for April showed nothing extraordinary. The most suspicious message the two had shared was Leo sending, “ _It’s done.”_ It had no previous context, nor did any follow. It was a simple message that hung floating, April’s response only a thumbs up emoji.

April’s phone obviously had more conversations, but apart from the turtles or Casey, they weren’t anything special. A quick text to someone in the same bio. class asking about an assignment, another sent out as a reminder that class was canceled, although there were a few more personalized messages that could be described only as ‘girl chat’. Silly things about a movie or a cute guy in the English course, etc. Nothing substantial, and nothing to suggest that she’d run off with a friend for months at a time.

Why the hell did Leo have to be such an efficient ninja? Damn Fearless Leader really did make sure that no one could trace them.

As they puzzled around and around, Raph brooded off to the side. He hadn’t told the others about his sighting of the spirit deer, unwilling to open up. It had been terribly personal. But over the course of the last few days, he tried to think of what the stag had been trying to tell him. That his world was shit without Leo? That everything would crumble without him? He already knew that!

But if that’s all it had been, why hadn’t the image of Leo been one Raphael remembered? The Leo in the vision was hardly anything like the older turtle. Leo had been worn, dirty, and gained a graveness the younger ninja had never seen. _Years_ had been added to his aura despite his physical appearance not having altered much. The gauntness of his face, too, was troubling. It was almost like he hadn’t eaten well for some time.

Shaking his head, trying to get the haunting image out of his head, Raph tried to focus back on the conversations around him. Kirby was staying quiet, his eye still black and swollen from when Raph had punched him. His lip, too, was split, nose puffy. He looked pathetic. Sneering the big turtle wish he’d hit that man harder.

As the ‘adults’ were talking, Mikey was spinning around in circles in one of the office chairs that had been dragged in to entertain him. It was getting on Raph’s nerves, but at least Mike was being quiet. The smile the youngest wore, however, made the older brother want to push him out of the chair and beat it off of him. That anyone could be happy right now actually deeply offended Raphael.

“Do ya think they were out huntin’ another mutant or somethin’?” Casey offered, scratching his head, trying his best to come up with an idea that hadn’t been suggested already.

“Why wouldn’t they have told us about that?” Don frowned, writing the idea down on the board anyway.

“Maybe it was a really scary one,” Mikey shrugged, spinning faster, snickering to himself.

Raph pinched the bridge between his eyes. “Ugh! Would you _stop_?!”

The sudden exclamation startled Kirby, which in turn frightened Mikey, who ended up falling out of the desk chair …right on top of the equipment Donnie had assembled. It had been set up to track mutagen levels in the area. A desperate ploy to find Leo.

“NO!” the genius cried, rushing over to the disturbed equipment.

“I’m sorry!” the youngest exclaimed, quickly jumping off the controls and taking several large steps back. “I didn’t mean to!”

Mona Lisa went to Mikey, placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort. Since coming to Earth, she’d taken on the responsibility of looking out for the goofball. Raph was grateful, knowing his brother needed someone much more stable to look to and even smother him with the attention his other brothers simply couldn’t at this time. So soothing the youngest, she turned to stare at the hodgepodge conglomeration of human and Salamandrian technology.

“There appears to be no damage,” she offered as a way to pacify the younger reptiles.

Visibly forcing himself to calm down, Donnie eventually nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay. I just need to readjust some…some…”

As the genius trailed off, Raph came up to see what was going on. Because he knew that look. That was the look the nerd got when coming on to something big. “What?” he demanded.

“Mona Lisa,” Donnie ignored his brother and turned his head towards the alien. He did not, however, take his eyes off the scanner. “What did you say this was originally supposed to detect?”

Frowning, Mona stepped forward, peering over the controls. “That detects the residue from a transporter.”

“So?” Raph snapped, crossing his arms.

“So?!” Don exclaimed, suddenly in near hysterics. “So, this shows that someone had been transported not too far from here!”

It amazed the entire room when Mikey was the first one to jump on board with what Donatello was trying to get at. “LEO AND APRIL WERE BEAMED INTO SPACE?!”

“WHAT?!” Casey spun on Donnie, dark eyes wide. “How? I mean, who woulda –?”

The barn erupted into momentary chaos as everyone clambered to talk over each other. Mr. O’Neil looked like he was about ready to have a fit, and Casey was raving to Mikey, who was jumping all around. Raph was glad Mona had a hand on his shoulder, or else he knew he’d start hitting things. Again. And that wouldn’t do any good.

“There’s only one ‘friend’ that we have that could have, and _would_ have, done this,” Donnie’s voice cut through the pandemonium, quieting the others as they listened to what he had to say. “We need to call Professor Honeycutt.”


	13. The Fugitoid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang beams on board the Fugitoid's ship

It wasn’t hard to send a call out to the Fugitoid. Since he’d been staying in the quadrant to pick up Mona Lisa and whoever else had wanted to return to Salamandria, he agreed to pick them up in two days. And in that two days, everyone had sat around in the barn discussing more theories and asking more questions they couldn’t answer. The main being: why hadn’t Professor Honeycutt said anything to them if Leo and April had gone into space?

Sitting out in the clearing beside the stream, Raphael moodily threw tiny rocks into the water. Waiting for the Fugitoid meant that the gang was stuck at the farm house with even _higher_ tension swirling about, slowly choking the life out of them.

For everyone’s safety – and for his own sake – Raph spent a lot of his time now out in the clearing. He knew his brothers and friends were all planning for the jaunt in space, knew they were still coming up with queries to press the Fugitoid with, but Raph couldn’t bring himself to stick around. The torment of the past week was leaving him unstable and violent. He’d already beaten up Kirby, destroyed his knuckles, he didn’t need to snap and start beating on the others. If he hurt his brothers or friends, he’d regret it. He couldn’t afford anymore regret.

So for now he’d stay here, brooding. Let the others go around and around in circles trying to understand why Leo and April would go into space. Raph already had a pretty good guess.

 _I miss you_.

The text message tormented him, tore at his soul. It was to the point where Raph would sit up at night just staring at the three words until he thought he’d go insane. He’d abandoned Leonardo, left him behind on rocky terms, ragged ties not cleanly severed. But despite all the shit they’d said to each other, despite the hurt feelings, Leo had taken a chance, had thrown himself out there. He’d broken the silence between them and texted.

And then he’d gone after Raph.

There was little doubt in his mind that his brother had gone out to find him. The facts were just lining up too perfectly for his disappearance to be explained any other way. After moping for a month or so, Fearless Leader had stepped up and decided to do something. He knew Leonardo hated the idea of him going off into space without him, hated the thought of him and Mona Lisa together, and in true Leonardo fashion, he’d rushed off on an adventure to bring his wayward brother home. Just like Captain Ryan would do.

But unlike _Space Heroes_ , where by the end of the episode Captain Ryan was back in control of his ship, missing crew members found and safe, Leonardo hadn’t come back. In fact, he hadn’t even completed his objective, never even reached Raphael. Something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

The thought left the younger ninja sick to his stomach. Raphael had certainly felt fear in his day, had been in plenty of battles where his life had been on the line, stared down monsters the likes of which most people couldn’t even fathom. But as he sat there in that clearing, mind racing through all the possible atrocities that could have befallen his brother, Raph had never felt so scared in his life. Not when he’d watched his father get beaten by the Shredder and thrown into a drain, not when his younger brothers had gone missing when Slash had first mutated, not even when he’d watched as the Earth was destroyed, his father dead. This fear was personal. Raw. This fear was so similar to the moment Leonardo had been thrown through the O’Neil’s window during the Invasion. Only worse. Because at least then Raph had been able to _do_ something. _Knew_ what was going on.

Sighing, the turtle picked at the grass around the stream, ripping it up from the roots. As a turtle who liked to move, liked to _do_ , this entire adventure thus far was agony. No clear clues to follow, nothing he could offer, none of his skills currently useful. All he could do was sit and wait.

“Raph?”

Raphael glanced up and found his immediate younger brother coming towards him, a concerned expression on his face. He didn’t like seeing Don like that, so he looked away, out across the clearing and towards the woods. He didn’t react when the younger turtle sat beside him.

“Hey,” Don greeted quietly. “What are you doing out here?”

The big turtle shrugged and studied the water, images of Leo playing in his mind.

A deep sigh escaped the genius and Raph didn’t flinch when his brother placed a hand on his arm for comfort. For a few minutes the turtles simply sat together in silence. The sun was warm, soothing the reptiles into a sleepy haze beside the trickling stream. Raph noticed Donnie staring at the water, too.

“We got a message from the Fugitoid.” Raph turned and stared at his brother expectantly. Thankfully, probably understanding his temper, Donnie didn’t waste time. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”

Closing his eyes, the big turtle tried to count down from ten so as not to erupt. He was highly emotional right now, and knowing he was going to confront the guy who had in all likelihood lied to him, or at least omitted truth, was going to be hard. Really hard. On all of them. The fact that someone like Professor Honeycutt, someone they had all trusted so deeply, hadn’t said _anything_ about Leo and April running off was despicable. How could he not have said something? Why wouldn’t he say something?

“Please don’t hit him the minute you see him,” Don said sternly.

Raph actually took the time to mull the request over in his head. “No promises.”

Donnie rolled his eyes, but there was just the shadow of a smirk on his lips. “I’ll take it. Come on,” he stood, offering a hand to his brother. “Let’s go back to the house. Mike’s made lunch.”

It was tempting to tell the lanky turtle to piss off, but knowing he needed to eat even if he wasn’t hungry, Raph stood on his own to follow. “How’d ya find me?” he asked as they walked.

“Mikey told me where to find you,” the genius offered, glancing covertly at his brother from the side.

The big turtle grunted, but said no more. It took nearly five full minutes to get to the house, it just visible once they cleared the boughs of the forest, but something in Raph made him stop. Don immediately came to a halt as well, staring at his brother in confusion. Fists clenched at his side, heart pounding, Raph blurted, “Leo left ‘cause a’ me.”

Brown locked on to green, and while usually meddlesome, annoying, Don had done some growing up. Instead of asking a million questions or pouncing on his brother’s inclination to speak at the moment, he only nodded. “Yeah, I know. I mean, it sounds like a possibility.”

Absolute scum was probably more decent than Raphael felt. Sinking his shoulders down, he had to wonder if his brothers resented him more than ever now that they were actually figuring out that not only had his leaving affected all of the family, but was a bigger reason as to why Leonardo may have left them. It didn’t take a genius to see the patterns forming.

“Hey,” Donnie placed a comforting hand back on his shoulder. “We’ll find them, all right? Don’t back out now.”

“Ain’t backin’ out!” Raph snapped, but had to admit he felt a bit better. Forcing a small smile, to show his gratefulness for once, the big turtle clasped his brother’s arm firmly. “Thanks, man.”

The gratitude threw the genius, but he smiled warmly, walking back towards the house. As they went, Raph supposed he should try to focus on just how much he still had.

**oOoOoOoOo**

“Hello, my friends!”

The exuberant joy of the Fugitoid made Raphael want to scream. Because just looking at the android when they first materialized in the transporter room set fire to his gut. The android hugged the others while Raph made sure to avoid it. If the guy touched him, he swore he’d send him through the viewer. To hell with getting sucked into space, he’d do it!

“I’m just so pleased to see all of you here! _Boop!_ ” the android babbled on. “I was only expected Y’Gythgba and Raphael, but to see you all is a wonderful surprise!”

The group follow after the professor as he began walking towards the main control room, still chattering away. Raph supposed the only thing that could make this situation worse was if Kirby had actually come along. It was the first stroke of luck that he’d opted to remain on Earth.

“It’s always nice to have a full ship! Reminds me of our adventure days. _Beep!_ Nice to have all the extra hands around. But …” the android paused for the first time since they’d beamed up. “Where are Leonardo and April? They did not come with you?”

The group frowned at the genuine perplexity of the question, but it was hard to miss the subtle yet noticeable twitch that occurred from the android. A slight jerking movement of his head to the right shoulder as his torso leaned forward, nearly imperceivable. It wasn’t a startling movement, but it was definitely not normal. And Raphael racked his brain trying to remember if he’d seen anything like this just over a week ago. Had he missed something in all his moping?

As the group glanced around at one another uneasily, it was decided that Donnie would be the one to speak. So, stepping forward, the genius cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh, well, no, Professor, they didn’t. Actually, we were sort of hoping…well, we were hoping _you_ knew where they were?”

It was only when he stopped moving completely that the group realized just how jittery and twitchy the android had been. It hadn’t really been that disconcerting, but now that he paused, the difference was startling. “Me?” the Fugitoid’s digital mouth almost formed a frown. “Why would I know? I haven’t seen Leonardo –” twitch! “ – since I first took Raphael to Salamandria. _Boop!_ And it’s been longer since I’ve seen April.”

“Umm…okay,” Mikey shifted nervously, inching closer to Raph. “But they were beamed away, like, almost a year ago, and we haven’t seen them since.”

“Good heavens!” the professor exclaimed, and it was so confusing, because Raph couldn’t detect any falsity in the android’s voice. He knew how awkward the professor got when having to fib, and this didn’t sound like that. But was the twitch of his body manifesting because of the lie? “Where did they go?!”

“We don’t know,” Casey supplied, frowning just as distrustfully as his friend. “Just up an’ disappeared.”

“I understand now,” the Fugitoid turned back to the controls and started typing frantically. “I’ll do everything I can to help you find them!”

This was getting too weird. Either the Fugitoid was lying, trying to put on a show, or he was going loopy from being alone all the time. Either way it was pissing Raph off. Stalking towards the android, he slammed his fist down on the control panel, mindful not to hit anything important. “Enough!” he snapped. “The truth! Do ya know where Leo and April are?”

It was a direct question, one that could only receive a direct response. This tip-toeing around was making his blood pressure rise.

The android appeared as shocked as any robotic being could, clearly not expecting the violence as soon as his guests arrived on board. But when he stared at Raphael, turning to the others and noticing none of them coming to calm the turtle, he paused. “Why would I know?” he repeated. “I’ve already told you, I haven’t seen them in some time.”

There was no twitch. Raph frowned deeper, unsure if that was a good sign or bad. “Ya sure? Ya ain’t made some stupid promise not ta tell anyone where they are or somethin’?”

“Of course not!” the Fugitoid exclaimed, hurt ringing in his tone. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Stepping up beside his brother, Donnie gave the android a sad look. “Then let’s start from the beginning.”

And he did. Mikey and Donnie took turns telling the professor about how Leo and April disappeared, Casey chiming in when he could, and how they’d searched everywhere. They admitted they’d only now just picked up on some kind of trail thanks to Mona’s scanners, which led them to explaining their half-baked theories about the pair going off into space.

“You’re the only one they’d go with willingly,” Donnie explained. “And they _did_ go willingly. They packed up and prepared weeks in advance. They even lifted equipment from my lab.”

“Oh my,” Professor Honeycutt frowned. “I…I’m sorry, Donatello, but I have nothing to tell you. _Beep!_ The last time I saw your brother was right after I dropped the three of you off at Earth. I haven’t been back in the quadrant until I dropped off Raphael and Y’Gythgba.”

“There must be something you can offer us,” Mona spoke up, grabbing Raph’s hand to steady the trembling turtle. “The particle signatures we detected matched to that of a ship like this or similar.”

“I’m afraid it wasn’t mine,” the Fugitoid shook his head forlornly. “I’ve been kept quite busy with my commissions and projects. I haven’t really had time to stop and think about running around to Earth the last few months.”

There was a twitch accompanied to talk of projects. There was something up with that, Raph hadn’t really noticed that before, not the last time he was with the android. Or at least, hadn’t seen it. Glancing at Mona told him she was thinking along the same lines. If only they’d brought up talk of Leonardo or April specifically the last time they were here. When the professor said their names, that’s when he was at his twitchiest. And Raph knew that if he’d noticed, Donnie _definitely_ had some thoughts about it.

As if reading his brother’s mind, Don leaned forwards slightly, eyeing the android. “Are you okay, Professor? I mean, not to be rude, but you seem…exhausted.”

“Me? Oh no, right as rain, as you say on your planet!” he chirped. “In fact, I’ve recently had my sleep cycle, so I should be sustained for quite some time.”

“‘Sleep cycle’?” Mikey made a face. “What’s that?”

Raph rolled his eyes as that launched them into an in depth and ‘fascinating’ discussion of the professor’s physiology. About how as an android he didn’t need to rest like basic organic beings, and instead took the time to go into a sleep cycle once a year. It was supposed to be a week long process, in which time his brain rested while the android body went into auto-pilot, so to speak, while the organic tissues could rest and recuperate. It was a pretty efficient sounding system, the android then taking care of all the little necessary tasks that the professor never actually got around to doing when he was ‘awake’. Since he was usually flying alone, the robotic parts staying functioning was absolutely necessary.

“So you had your sleep cycle when?” Donnie frowned.

The fact that it took the android a minute to think about that was unsettling. “I would say…perhaps nine months ago? Ten?”

“Ya mean ya don’t _know_?” Casey gawked incredulously.

As embarrassed as an android could be, the professor managed to shrug his shoulders in a human-like attempt to convey his sheepishness. “This sleep cycle hit very unexpectedly.”

Mikey squirmed, while Mona curled her tail around him reassuringly. “Professor,” Donnie leaned forward. “Wouldn’t it have been good to…well, find out _when_ this happened? I mean, couldn’t you have checked the chronometer or the recordings or…?”

“Oh!” the Fugitoid startled at the idea. “That hadn’t occurred to me.”

Now they _knew_ something was up. Even _Raph_ knew that this was not looking good.

“Um, Professor?” Donnie’s brows furrowed. “You _sure_ you’re all right?”

“Perfectly,” the android insisted. “Just lots to do. _Beep!_ Well then!” he clapped his hands together. “You are all welcome to use what you’d like and I’ll help you anyway I can in finding Leonardo and April.” Another twitch. “In the meantime, why don’t you all get settled? You can come back up later if you need anything.”

Dismissed, the group left the android to his own devices. They immediately went into the old lounge area that they’d slept in most of the time when they were fifteen by silent, mutual consent. And when the doors closed behind them, Raph turned on Donnie. “The fuck was that!” he exclaimed, pointing out towards the door. “The hell’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know, but this may be serious,” Donnie wasted no effort in trying to placate them with softening the issue.

“Do you believe he was reprogramed?” Mona Lisa suggested. “His actions when he spoke…”

“I don’t think so,” Donnie denied. “You can’t truly reprogram Professor Honeycutt. Maybe silence part of his mind for a while, but not truly ‘reprogram’ him in the traditional sense. And besides, who would?”

“Maybe Leo and April didn’t want him blabbing about them going?” Mikey offered.

Donatello was already shaking his head. “Let’s just humor the idea of them actually being capable of that, having the necessary knowledge and skills, what would be their motive? We have a timeframe. They left a month or so after Raph, and we had no idea to contact the professor, and they expected to be back within a month, six weeks. There’d be no reason for them to want to reprogram him. And even if they did, they would know it would be extremely hard – painful – for the professor. They wouldn’t do that.”

“So, d’ja think he’s lyin’?” Casey asked slowly.

“No. Or rather, he doesn’t _think_ that he’s lying.”

Raph felt the vein in his head pulse. “The point?”

“My point is, I think Professor Honeycutt’s suffered some kind of malfunction,” Don explained bluntly. “You heard him, he doesn’t even remember going into a sleep cycle. And what’s more, he didn’t even check up on events that might have taken place while he was out. He went essentially dead and isn’t curious as to why?”

“We must be vigilant,” Mona Lisa said sternly. “Donatello, perhaps you can convince the Fugitoid to acquiesce to an examination. The rest of us must look for clues as to what may have happened.”

Before Mona could truly finish, Mikey was already jumping up, giving a mock salute to the Lieutenant. “On it!” he cried, rushing over to the door that led to a secondary transporter chamber that was connected to the bridge through a narrow hall.

“Don’t you think he would have noticed something if they’d been here?” Raph frowned, the familiar curl of pessimism starting to weigh him down.

“I’m not sure,” the genius admitted.

“He coulda forgot after goin’ ta sleep,” Casey offered, standing as well. “He is pretty weird right now. Maybe he didn’t notice?”

“Umm…guys?”

The other four turned to stare at Mikey who had frozen just inside the door that led to the extra transporter room. The youngest had lost an alarming amount of color. Horrified, the others made a beeline straight towards him.

“Mike?” Raph placed a hand on the baby’s shoulder.

Without turning his eyes away, Mikey pointed down the hall. “I, uh, think I just found something.”

Turning to inspect what their brother was pointing at, Raphael felt his heart seize up. Because the small transporter room was completely destroyed. Wires hanging and some still sparking from the walls, the ceiling, the control panels. There were blast marks from weapon discharge and slash marks. There were even what looked like teeth prints.

“ _Fuck_.”


	14. Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group confront the Fugitoid.

“ _Fuck.”_

The word echoed down the hall and no one was too sure whose voice it was that said it. Raph stumbled forward, unable to take his eyes off the carnage. Everything was damaged, most outright destroyed. Staring down at the ruptures in the transporter console proved that whatever had caused the destruction had been brutal. The perfectly aligned puncture holes could only have been from teeth, causing the turtle to shudder in dread. And the slash marks, some were wild, jagged, suggesting that the attacker was careless or simply was not concerned for the damage. But others were smoother, cleaner, precision shining through its marks.

 _A katana_.

A trembling hand reached out to trace one such mark, knowing that it had been from his brother. Leonardo had been in this room. He had fought here. Had he escaped from here?

Turning back around found the others just as shaken. Mikey was in tears, Don was almost there. Casey looked sick, while Mona stood surveying the area, face grave. They knew what this meant. They knew what must have happened. Chest constricting, Raph didn’t even have the energy to scream. All he could do was stare back down at the mutilated equipment. A strangled noise like that of a wounded animal crawled up his throat when he saw splotches of faded brown covering the transporter pad.

“Raphael?” Mona called quietly.

He didn’t reply, just gaped at the dried blood on the transporter pad. For a moment he thought he’d get sick, unable to handle the thought of it being from either Leo or April. It had better be an enemy’s blood, or so help him, Raphael would search the entire universe over if he had to. He would avenge his lover.

“I-I need a sample,” Don scuttled forward, only to stop when he realized he had no equipment, nothing to take a sample with. An awkward pause followed as none of them knew what to do.

“We need to get out of here,” Mona spoke up, already starting to push Casey back the way they had come. “We can return once we have the proper instruments to take samples.”

Raph didn’t notice when the others were gone, only felt when Mona tugged on his arm, having come back to get him. His brain was completely fried or he might have thought to resist. He didn’t want to leave the room, not until he knew what had happened, but he couldn’t breathe there, couldn’t think. Instead he was easily guided out and back into the lounge where the others stood. By then Mikey was clinging to Don, Casey attacking the couch, hitting and kicking it with all his worth in an attempt to alleviate his anxiety and rage. The young man was on the verge of bursting into tears.

As he watched, it was the strangest sensation Raphael had ever felt when his legs just suddenly gave out. There was no warning, he didn’t feel anything, but he ended up collapsing to the floor, sitting hard on his shell. No one seemed to take any notice of his collapse, and all Raph could do was stare at the floor. He could not get rid of the image of slash marks covered in blood.

The others were just as lost, hopeless, and a part of Raphael knew that he should help them, get them together and organized. He was the eldest brother here and they were all better than this. They had faced worse, seen worse. They weren’t children anymore. Not wide eyed teenagers. And unlike his brothers, his best friend, Raphael had been in war. _Real_ war, where the day wasn’t won by clever tricks and homemade weapons forged together by whatever they could find. He’d seen slaughters, massacres, innocent lives lost in the crossfire. He’d not only had others attempt to kill him, not simply capture him, and he’d killed. He’d taken lives with his bare hands, watched the light in beings’ eyes stutter and fade. Seeing the damaged transporter should not have shaken him so badly.

But it did.

Bad enough to know that Leonardo was gone, out in the universe with only April, but if he was dead… The thought twisted the big turtle’s heart painfully. It was more than he could bear. This wasn’t how this damn adventure was supposed to go!

Unsure what he should be doing, Raph continued to stare at the floor, unable to rally himself. It was startling when Mona appeared in front of him, kneeling before him. The look in her green eyes was almost enough to make him start crying. The sympathy and pity was not what he needed right now.

“We know nothing yet,” her voice was whisper soft. “They may have gotten away.”

“How?” his voice came out in a thick croak.

“They were on the transporter pad,” she pointed out gently. “It is likely that they could have beamed to –”

“The console was completely destroyed,” Raph snapped, voice tight as furious hopelessness consumed him. “Whatever got ‘em, it probably killed ‘em, at the least taken ‘em prisoner –”

“There is no proof,” the Salamandrian snarled, standing up to tower over him. Thankfully she had sense enough to keep her voice low so as not to rouse the others. There was no reason to worry the other three. “Do not believe such things with no proof.”

With that said, she grabbed him by the arm and heaved him up. She wouldn’t have been able to do it if Raph truly hadn’t wanted her to, but he stood all the same. His legs were still shaking, and he wasn’t sure he would have been able to stand on his own. He would never admit to appreciating the extra boost, and not just in the assistance of standing.

Having just concluded their rather public private conversation, Donnie shuffled over to the two, staring at them with wet eyes. “I-I’ll get samples,” he volunteered again. “We’ll know more once we have them. Whether or not that was…was _theirs_ or something else’s.”

Taking full command, as she had been doing throughout the week, Mona nodded reassuringly at the lanky turtle. “Good. In the meantime, we should go to Professor Honeycutt.”

“D-do you think he could t-tell us a-about what happened? In there?” Mikey asked, glancing back at the door with dread.

Not liking seeing his baby brother so upset, Raph threw an arm around him as Donnie spoke up. “We won’t know until we ask, but I’m not sure he will. I don’t think the professor’s…well. The fact that he hasn’t mentioned anything about an attack is troubling. This could be a serious malfunction or –”

“Let’s just get him!” Casey snapped. “This is ridiculous. We need to know what’s goin’ on _now_.”

“We can’t just grab him,” Don argued, scowling over at the human. “You saw him! He’s obviously unwell. It could be potentially harmful to him if we –”

“This has gone on long enough,” Casey interrupted, getting in the turtle’s face. “We need to find April, and we need to find her _now_.”

“Enough,” Mona inserted herself in between the two before a true argument could ensure. “This will not help _anyone_. Let’s go speak with the Fugitoid. Only he can help us shed light on what has happened.”

It took a few minutes to reign in tempers and wipe away tears, but when they were ready, the group wandered back to the bridge. Raph kept an arm around Mikey to both comfort his brother and also steady himself. His head was swimming from too many emotions, and it would be best if he didn’t fly off the handle. This was a delicate situation, and he couldn’t ruin their chances of finding Leonardo and April simply because he lost it. And this was about more than just his feelings besides. This affected everyone. Sometimes he forgot about that. His brothers were just as upset. He had to control himself for them.

“Professor?” Donnie ventured when they came behind the android.

The Fugitoid startled before looking back. “Oh! Have you finished unpacking already?”

“Umm, well, not exactly,” Don trailed off before sighing. “Look, Professor, we need to ask you some more questions…Are you _sure_ you don’t remember seeing April and Leo?”

Even with the robotic face it was easy to detect the android’s confusion. “I’ve already told you, Donatello, I do not know what has happened to them. They were not here.”

“Yeah, well, we think different!” Casey snarled, stalking close to the automaton.

“What Casey _means_ is, we think there’s something…wrong,” Don tried to cover, shoving the human back. “We think – all of us – that you’re not remembering correctly. That something’s happened to you.”

“What?!” the Professor exclaimed. “That’s nonsense! I’m perfectly fine. I’ve simply been kept quite busy with my commissions and projects.”

“Prove it.”

The others turned to Raph, who let go of Mikey to come stand beside his best friend. He was with Casey. Enough was enough. If this was dragged out anymore, he wouldn’t have nerves anymore. Before coming to space he’d thought his brother disappearing without a trace was the worst thing that could have happened. But to find blood, not sure if it was Leo or April’s or the enemies, and no hints or clues as to what had caused such an attack was much, _much_ worse.

Unfazed by the stares, Raphael held his ground. “Prove it. Show us the security feed. Show us what ya were doin’ all this time.”

Silence followed the dare, green eyes holding the yellow of the android. The professor was clearly flustered, the hostility and accusations agitating him. But he recovered with a shake of his head. “I don’t know why you think this is necessary,” he fussed, turning back to the control panel. “It won’t show you anything useful. Just me puttering about. How far back?”

“Ten months,” Mikey piped up, jumping to stand beside his older brother before looking to Donnie. “Right? It was about ten months ago.”

“Just a little over, but you can start at ten,” the lanky turtle confirmed.

The group waited as Professor Honeycutt went through the recording feeds. A minute passed, then two, and slowly it became apparent that something wasn’t right. The android’s eyes ‘furrowed’ as his fingers flew across the controls. After another full minute, Raphael was done.

“Well?” he snarled, stalking up close to the controls.

The professor glanced over at the angry turtle before turning back to his panel. “I-I don’t understand. I can’t find anything. None of the recordings are showing up!”

Donnie and Mona went to stand on either side of the android, both the most tech savvy of the group. “Nothing?” Donnie questioned.

“What about this?” Mona murmured, hitting something.

After a beat a fragmented piece of garbled mess spewed out of the speakers, while a distorted image of green and red blurred on the screen. The group ended up covering their ears as noise screeched out across the bridge. Thankfully, the image skipped, plunging the area back into silence. Looking up, they were just in time to see a few only slightly unfocused, halting images of Leonardo beside the viewer, his shell turned, staring out into space.

The moment he saw his beloved brother, Raph felt his throat close up. After having deleted all the pictures of Leo from his phone before he’d gone with Mona, any image of his brother was wonderful to see. The security video Don showed him upon his arrival to Earth hadn’t been enough. Watching Leo just standing there, gazing out at the stares re-awoke a deep hunger in the turtle, his eyes unable to get enough. But what held the big turtle’s attention was the fact that Big Brother was wearing what looked like a robe. For a moment Raph thought it was the same garment that Leo had been wearing in his vision while in the clearing by the farm house, but no. This item was dark blue, not black. And when Leo turned, April coming into view, the turtle’s face wasn’t gaunt, although he did look tired.

No sound accompanied the nearly in focus image, but soon it disappeared, replaced with more static and blobs. This continued for several minutes. Sometimes there was clear sound, a word or sentence made out, before it dissolved into unsalvageable squeals. Sometimes images were clear, showing absolutely nothing of consequence, other times it blurring into nothing remotely recognizable.

When it became understood that not only was the recording system malfunctioning or worse, but that April and Leonardo had in fact truly been here, the group had had enough. And so had the Professor. It was clear to see that the android was distressed, horrified even when confronted with facts he didn’t remember.

“I-I…” he stared down at his hands. “I don’t remember them being here,” he almost whispered.

Casey stepped forward to scroll through the feed, but was pushed back gently by Mona. “It’s damaged,” she said as way of making the human realize he needed to back off.

“I don’t understand this,” Professor Honeycutt continued. “I don’t remember…this was all damaged. Why was it damaged?”

Walking over to the side door, Mikey opened it to show off the destroyed transporter room. Obviously the android had not looked in there since it was ruined or at least since he had ‘woken’ from his sudden sleep cycle. Why would he? He had very little need to venture into that room, and if he was malfunctioning – or whatever Donnie would say was wrong with him – the thought of checking around the ship probably hadn’t even occurred to him. For nearly a year, the Fugitoid had been living this strange, broken life.

Wandering over to the room, the professor stared in as much horror as an automaton could. It was clear from his movement and actions that he was seeing all of this for the first time. Or at least seeing it and remembering it. This was just as scary and sobering for him as it was for any of them. Perhaps more so, since he was given proof that he had no memory of an obviously dramatic battle he’d been through.

“W-what?” he stammered, carefully shuffling about the room. “I-I don’t…How could this…?”

It was just as bad walking in there the second time as it had been the first. And this time rage consumed Raphael. His breathing became ragged, and it was tempting to start breaking whatever he could get his hands on. Thankful Mona Lisa noticed, and slide beside him, grabbing his hand.

“We need to understand what has happened here,” she offered, drawing attention from the males. “Professor Honeycutt, perhaps you ought to submit to an examination from Donatello. Samples of that must be run as well,” she nodded towards the blood.

“What good will any of this do?” Casey snarled. “We’ll still know shit! Fugitoid doesn’t remember _shit_ , and all the recordings are jacked up!”

“Then we shall call for assistance,” Mona snapped. “Professor, would you allow me to contact a friend? I believe I know someone who can restore some of the recordings, or at least help with repairs to the ship.”

“Yes! Yes, of course,” the android nodded urgently. “Anything you need.”

Frowning, Raph eyed his ex. “Yer not seriously gunna call –?”

“She’s the best,” the Salamandrian cut him off, turning back to the others, ignoring the big turtle’s curse. “As for the rest of us, we must search the ship. Perhaps there is more damage that was left unrepaired. There may be more clues. I suggest we spread out and search the ship.”

“On it!” Mikey cried, running towards the door. “I’ll check the bedrooms!”

“I’ll check the lower levels and engine room,” Casey offered, rushing out, hot on Mikey’s heels.

“I’ll search around the medical wing,” Mona turned to Raph, eyeing the Professor and Donatello.

It was clear she wanted to keep an eye on the pair, and an excuse to follow them down to medical bay was the perfect chance. Taking a deep breath and counting backwards from ten, Raph tried to release all the negative energy that had built up. It didn’t help, but it was better than flipping out.

“Yeah, I’ll…search around,” he muttered.

Left to himself as the others went on their separate ways, Raph ended up mostly checking down halls and storage rooms. While a fairly big ship, the Fugitoid’s vessel was not necessarily large. There was only so much space to search, and with the others probing the main areas, Raph took what was left. There was nothing to show any major fight that he saw. And as he searched, he thought back to when he’d been here a week ago, the turtle realized he and Mona hadn’t exactly explored the area. Nothing had seemed off. They had no reason to suspect anything amiss. But the turtle had to wonder if he’d overlooked evidence in plain sight.

Usually impatient and frustrated, as Raphael searched the ship, he made sure to be methodical and thorough. No more missing signs. Neither April nor Leo could afford for him to do so. Instead of rushing, he looked through every storage unit and down every hall carefully.

It was when he opened one tiny utility closet that success was yielded. Troubling success. The moment the door _swooshed_ open, a single katana clattered to the floor, echoing down the hall. Crying out in surprise and distress, Raph snatched up the red and gold handled blade, eyes wide in recognition.

For a full minute he held it in his hand, staring dumbly before he was able to look past the sword. Everything else Leo and April had brought with them, was there, placed neatly along the walls. Lunging forward, the turtle shuffled through the bags, taking into account what belonged to his brother and friend. April’s knapsack, Leo’s duffle bag, a few other little bags that looked like they held extra supplies, a hoody, and…

Raphael felt his heart break when he reached into the back and pulled out his pillow. The one that had been missing from his bed on Earth. Mikey hadn’t stolen it at all. _Leo_ had. Bringing the pillow to his snout, Raph closed his eyes, taking a long breath, hoping to catch whiffs of his lover. He did not.

He knew he should probably get the others, probably show them everything he’d found. But as Raph knelt there in the hall, hugging his pillow to his chest, he couldn’t find the will to call. Didn’t want to be found just yet. So instead, he sat on the floor, pillow against his plastron, katana across his lap, and stared at the wall blankly, wondering what had become of his beloved brother.


	15. Ginger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mona Lisa's friend comes onboard to help.

Second Lieutenant Q’Thakra of the Salamandrian Military – or ‘Ginger’ as Raphael had taken to calling her – was an unholy mixture of Donatello’s raw brilliance and Michelangelo’s stunning capacity for air-headedness. Having worked her way through the ranks as a talented communications specialist, it was amazing the female had survived within the armed forces for as long as she had. Completely lacking any common sense, but having a wicked talent for the mechanical, Ginger had earned her rank and reputation as being the best of the best in any branch of the military. Which was exactly why Mona Lisa had called her.

Over the course of three days, the group waited in orbit at Iikfau Station, just above _Zayfod’s Cantina,_ for the arrival of Q’Thakra, who was to be ‘on loan’ from the Salamandrian Military, to help the turtles with their search. While a bit of arguing was had, due to not only Raphael’s service in the recent war but also the brothers’ past assistance in protecting Salamandria from Lord Dregg’s schemes, it was eventually agreed upon to send the Second Lieutenant as part of her shore leave. And since Ginger was eager to see Mona Lisa and Raphael again, she did not complain about having to use vacation time to work. As long as she was off a military base, she didn’t much care where she went. (Raph was willing to bet that she probably wouldn’t notice, either.)

In the meantime, as they waited, Donatello did everything within his power to help Professor Honeycutt in regaining his lost memories and fixing any malfunctions that they could find. Since the professor was a wholly unique entity, not truly a robotic being, but certainly not organic, attempting to get his memories back was tricky. It wasn’t as if they could plug him in and run a thorough diagnostic of his brain. The memory loss was more along the lines of a person suffering from amnesia, or a being blocking out a traumatic event from their mind more than like a computer getting its memory erased. Donnie did his best, with the Fugitoid’s assistance when he could offer it, but they were limited to the work that could be done. The levels of sophistication needed without harming the Professor were tremendous and strenuous to both parties.

While those two were cooped up in the medical wing, the others were left surveying the ship. More damage was found in the lower levels, although the most significant had been repaired. Apparently while his mind had been ‘shut off’, the robotic auto pilot the Fugitoid had been under had started the task of repairing the ship. The most critical systems and most used areas had been seen to first. The only lasting damage was the secondary transporter room, which must have only been left because Professor Honeycutt had ‘woken’ from the sleep cycle, as he didn’t remember it being there. And with being unwell and obviously malfunctioning on some level, he hadn’t thought to check over the ship like he usually did.

Samples were taken from the transporter room from just about every surface imaginable. The lines of puncture holes were identified positively as teeth marks, a tooth even discovered imbedded in the control console. The species was easily identifiable, and while there was no real genetic information existing to confirm it, they all knew it had been Armaggon who had attacked the ship. They had encountered no other creature that could do such a thing, and the damage was comparable to their past experiences. And seeing as the shark-cyborg held a rather large personal grudge against the turtles, it made sense that he would attack if given the chance. Slipping out word around the cantina while in orbit also confirmed that in the underworld, Dregg was still offering up a bounty for the brothers and their friends. Apparently the years since their previous space adventure hadn’t lessened the hatred their old enemies held for them.

The most disturbing of the news, however, came from the results of the blood tests ran from off the transporter pad. Cross referencing it with the data the Fugitoid had kept stored on the ship from previous ventures showed that the blood had been Leonardo’s. Apparently in the fight the ninja had been injured before Armaggon had either killed Leo and April, taken them prisoner, or transported them to who knew where. None of the options sat well with Raphael, and he didn’t sleep most nights, dreaming vividly of his brother being mauled by the finhead, or disappearing into the blackness of space.

The only thing that helped the turtle from going completely insane was using the holodeck to train. Most often he was by himself, stabbing and killing holographic images to fulfill a deep seeded blood lust and need of revenge. Sometimes Casey joined, sometimes the human realized he couldn’t keep up. Either way Raph didn’t care, just needed something physical to do as they waited. It was better than getting into fights with the others.

It was early in the morning on the third day, and Raph hadn’t really slept. He’d gone to bed when the others had, sharing a room with Casey, but another nasty nightmare woke him and he couldn’t get back to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he still saw images of Leonardo gasping for air, face pale and gaunt with sweat pouring down, as he gritted his teeth in pain. The dream hadn’t been too specific, Raph not understanding what had been happening to the turtle, but then, he knew enough. Leo was in agony, wretched cries of pain escaping the proud leader’s lips.

Beating an old Foot ninja that had been programed into the holodeck, Raph utterly obliterated the image, stabbing and slamming the man down until there wasn’t a bone left unbroken. What had once looked like a human being was little better than a pile of flesh and blood. When he didn’t have the energy to continue mutilating the corpse, the turtle didn’t feel any better. Worse, because now he couldn’t even do anything at all to burn the frustration away. Instead he sat panting on his knees, glaring down at his hands.

He could still hear his brother calling out his name, and it twisted the big turtle’s gut. Glancing to his side, he pulled Leonardo’s katana from his belt, staring down at the weapon. It had rusted from the dried blood not having been cleaned away and general disuse over the many long months it had sat in the storage closet. Raphael had spent long hours cleaning and caring for the sword, working it as meticulously as he had seen his elder brother do in the past. This was an extension of Leonardo, therefore to be cherished.

It was funny, growing up Raphael had always wanted the katana as his weapon and had been quite jealous when Leonardo had proven not only more skilled with the blade, but more apt in mentality for it. Elegant, swift, deadly, it had become the embodiment of his brother in steel. Such nobility, steady reliability. The katana was considered strong and resolute.

But even the katana could be broken.

Looking to his fallen sai, Raphael winced. Just as Leonardo had been meant for the katana, Raph had been meant for the sai. A grittier weapon, used for close range combat, usually seen as less refined and more primal. It was a foe to the katana, its rival. It was a sword breaker…just like Raphael.

Growling, the turtle managed to push himself to his feet and cleared away the images of the holodeck. That was enough for now. No doubt he’d be back later, but for now, he was tired and needed something to drink. It was time to check in with the others anyway.

As Raph left the simulator, wandering towards the bridge after getting water, the turtle found the others all there chattering excitedly. “Come on!” Mikey cried as soon as he elder brother walked on the bridge, grabbing the big turtle’s arm and trying to drag him back out. “The shuttle’s gunna dock!”

Raising an eye ridge at his brother before glancing at Mona, the Salamandrian nodded. The organics left the bridge as the Fugitoid stayed to take care of the docking procedures and finalize departure codes with the station. So while the younger beings went to wait for Ginger in the docking bay, Raph found himself wishing he was back in the holodeck. Or in his room. Or pretty much anywhere other than waiting to greet the communication’s officer. Why hadn’t he argued with Mona more about this, again?

The moment her shuttle docked, it was hard to miss the neon orange creature as she stumbled down the ramp. Amber eyes were glued upward as Ginger walked towards them, not even bothering to notice the others waiting for her. Instead she continued to inspect the inside of the landing bay from the top down, startling when she noted the group watching her, as if she truly had no idea that they had been there at all.

“Y’Gythgba! Raphael!” Q’Thakra smiled serenely as she shuffled over to them, duffle slung over her shoulder. “And creatures I do not know. Greetings!”

Mikey instantly took a liking to the strange female if blue eyes sparkling madly in amusement was anything to go by, while Don and Casey eyed her warily. “Hi!” Mikey waved. “I’m Michelangelo, but you can call me Mikey.”

“How odd,” the Salamandrian smiled amiably before turning to stare at Casey, aspen eyes glittering as she reached out and pawed his hair. Casey, as politely as he could, leaned out of the touch. “He’s not very attractive, is he?” she squinted into Casey’s face.

That had the youngest bursting out laughing, while Casey gave a cry of indignation. Donnie smirked, his expression clearly saying he could come to like her. “Not really,” the genius smile meanly before turning to the new comer. “I’m Donatello.” Remembering how Salamandrian’s viewed handshakes, he made sure not to offer his hand, only dip his head.

Q’Thakra hummed. “Donatello. Michelangelo. Raphael…That leaves one more. Where is Leonardo? I most desire to meet him.”

There was a beat before Raph snarled. “Ain’t here,” he snapped, feeling like he’d gotten punched in the gut at hearing his beloved’s name mentioned so casually. Hadn’t Mona told her anything? “That’s why _yer_ here.”

The Second Lieutenant stared at Raph, the look extraordinarily penetrating, causing the turtle to squirm, before she turned back to the others. “Raphael has told me that my name is hard to pronounce. You may call me Ginger. It is a funny name.”

Mona stepped up then, grabbing her friend by the arm and pulling her away before Raph could murder her. “I will show you to our room, Battle Sister.”

Ginger allowed herself to be dragged away, smiling as the slightly taller Salamandrian pushed her out the door. “You did not tell me Raphael’s brothers would all be handsome,” she remarked, as if the others weren’t right behind them. “A shame for the primate, though.”

“Hey!” Casey yelp just as the door closed after the females, causing the youngest turtle to laugh harder. “I’m _not_ ugly!”

“Aww, don’t worry, you’re not ugly,” Mikey slapped their friend on the shoulder. “You’re _hideous_!”

He cackled obnoxiously as Casey started chasing him around the bay, leaving the other two to watch with varying degrees of exasperation. “Are you sure she’ll be able to help us?” Don asked as Mikey tried to jump on top of Ginger’s ship to get away from the human intent on committing homicide. “She seems a little…?”

“Nuts?” Raph snorted. “She’s a freak, but she is good,” he was forced to admit. “Not really the warrior type, but damn good when it comes to cracking codes and repairin’ shit.”

Don nodded, slowly turning to walk out of the landing bay, the bigger turtle having to follow. Together they left the others to play their game of cat and mouse.

“What do you think she should work on first, then?” the lanky brother asked as they continued to the bridge to inform the Fugitoid that they could leave dock at any time. “Footage repair or see if she can help me with Professor Honeycutt?”

“Footage,” Raph grunted. “She doesn’t have any kinda experience with the professor, and it shouldn’t be hard for her to work on fixin’ the feed. She does that for a livin’. Not sure how good she is with android/cyborgs, but she can always lend a hand if ya need it later.”

The two brothers made it to the bridge before the Fugitoid left orbit, it having been agreed upon that they should leave the area as soon as possible to avoid potential confrontations or gain too much attention. And when they were away, it didn’t take long before the Salamandrians came onto the bridge as well. Immediately Ginger wandered towards the viewer, bypassing everyone as if they weren’t even there. Raph shot Mona look which she ignored.

“The Major’s been asking about you, Y’Gythgba,” Ginger chimed seemingly out of nowhere. It probably had been out of nowhere considering Mona’s surprised expression. “He wants to court you. I can tell.”

Raph rolled his eyes while Mona darkened, muttering something under her breath. Donnie stood taken aback before turning to his brother expectantly. Finding no real reaction from the big turtle set off warning bells in the genius’s head, but Raph tried to remain calm. He realized he hadn’t exactly told his brothers where he and Mona stood now, what with all the drama going on lately. He should probably do that. And with how Don was staring at him now, he knew it would have to come sooner rather than later.

“I’m sure the Major was simply making polite inquiry,” Mona eventually found a response.

“No,” Ginger shook her head as she turned and wandering directly up in front of the Fugitoid, staring right into his face while he too, politely tried to lean away. “He will court you. He was most pleased when Raphael decided to return to Ear-arth.”

“Earth, genius,” Raph corrected, crossing his arms across his plastron. “It’s pronounced _Earth_.”

“Is it really?” she turned to regard the turtle before smiling at the Professor. “You are interesting,” she informed him bluntly. “I am Q’Thakra. You may call me Ginger. Is this where I am to work?”

“Oh. Well, thank you,” the automaton blinked. “And no, this is the control console for the ship. Your work station on repairing and retrieving the security images is over here,” he showed her to what had been Don and Leo’s old station.

The orange Salamandrian hummed, before plopping down, listening carefully as the professor explained how everything worked. Mona was still too embarrassed by her friend’s lack of conversational tact and excused herself with the pretext of going to check on Mikey and Casey. Left to themselves for the time being, Raph wasn’t surprised when Donnie turned to him, hissing low. “You wanna catch me up here? Who’s the ‘Major’?”

It was weird how Raph found it easier to admit his real relationship status to Casey rather than to his own brother. But forcing himself not to panic, gripping the hilt of the katana that hung at his side, he shrugged. “Just some guy that’s had a crush on Mona since forever.”

The younger ninja frowned, clearly not understanding part of the current equation. “And you’re not upset? I mean, you’re okay that he wants to try to…to court her?”

The bigger turtle shrugged again, hoping he wasn’t flushing. “If he wants ta court her, he can court her. As long as Mona doesn’t mind, I don’t care one way or th’ other.”

Now Donnie was unmistakably blown away. Brown eyes blinked rapidly, it obvious he was trying to comprehend the words uttered from his most volatile brother. “Wha…? What do you mean ‘you don’t care’? I thought you and Mona –?!”

“Ain’t together,” Raph cut him off, his grip on the hilt tightening. “Things just…didn’t work out.”

The genius’s surprise was evident, but thankfully Mikey and Casey finally arrive with a perturbed looking Mona Lisa to break the tension. Don didn’t question any further. For the time being, at least. Raphael knew that he would be interrogated in full later.

“Michelangelo-Mikey!” Ginger called the moment the youngest was within the room. That weird, whacked out smile that always made Raph’s skin crawl was on her snout as she waved the turtle over. “You can help me.”

That more than anything turned Donnie’s attention away from his elder brother as he rushed over to the Second Lieutenant and the too-eager Mikey jumping over the console to sit beside Ginger with a happy ‘booyakasha!’ “Oh no!” Donnie cried. “Don’t you think that maybe _I_ should help with that?!”

With those three occupied, and the Fugitoid obviously amused watching them, Raph decided to stay out of trouble and went to stand beside Casey. The human’s sour mood brightened a bit as he watched the chaos. “Dude,” he laughed when Mikey and Donnie got into a prissy hitting match. “Where did you _find_ this girl? She’s whacked!” his cackle escalated when Mikey gave Don a wet-willy, to which Donnie retaliated by putting the baby into a headlock.

Having walked over to the best friends, Mona eyed the brawl with a sneer. “Q’Thakra has always been…eccentric.”

“How long ya known her?” Casey continued to beam as he watched the Fugitoid eventually have to lead a huffy Donatello away with the excuse of going back to check on their experiments in the medical wing. Really Raph wasn’t too sure he liked the idea of leaving Ginger and Mikey alone to ‘work’ together. Maybe someone ought to stay?

“We met in basic,” Mona supplied. But when the youngest ninja was doubled over by something Ginger had said, laughing so hard there were tears streaming from his eyes, the blue Salamandrian’s tail began to thrash in agitation. “Perhaps I should help them,” she muttered, stalking over.

Laughing louder, Casey slapped Raph on the shell, grinning from ear to ear. “Man, maybe she isn’t so bad. At least this’ll be entertainin’.”

Muttering under his breath, the big turtle pulled away from his friend and headed off the bridge. “I’ll be in the holodeck.”


	16. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers sit down and finally have a talk.

“All right, listen up, team,” Leonardo posted his fists on his hips, eyeing his brothers critically as he began one of the many mission briefing speeches his brothers were all sure he’d written out at some point. “This is gunna be pretty straight forward. We bust in, grab the chemicals, and get out. No matter what,” he glared over at Raphael, “ _don’t_ deviate from the plan. This is ideally a _stealth_ mission. Do _not_ engage unless need be.”

“What if we _have_ to?” Mikey asked as he bounced a small ball back and forth between his hands. Donnie grabbed the toy with a sneer and stuffed it in his belt pouch.

“Then we hit hard, knocking them out of our way, before continuing our mission.” Deep blue eyes caught green, and Raph felt a terrible tug at his heart when his brother smiled at him. “No more Mr. Nice-Turtle. Not tonight. Everyone clear on the plan?”

The younger turtles nodded, each getting ready for the heist. Raph stood back watching, hands hanging at his sides. How long had it been since he’d been on a mission with his brothers? A real mission? Well over a year now.

“Hey.” Raph looked up to find Leo standing in front of him. The hand on his shoulder almost felt real. “You okay?” the leader frowned.

So lifelike. The face was almost perfect, almost exact. The color of the scales were correct, the eyes, but without a true spark of life. Even the best imitations were hallow. A cruel reminder that this wasn’t real. So close and yet lacking everything meaningful.

“No,” Raph whispered to the holographic image, as he reached out to cup the jade cheek in his hand. There was no warmth to it, even as the blue eyes across from him continued to stare with concern. “I’m not. I…I miss you, Leo.”

The hologram continued its sad inspection, worry portrayed strikingly familiar, before the holographic Leo turned and walked towards the edge of the roof, its programming unable to respond in this simulation. “All right. We all set? Ready to go? We’ve only got a small window here, guys, so stay frosty. Stay _focus_.”

“Dude.” Raph spun around sharply to see the real Michelangelo and Donatello walking into the holodeck, eyes roaming the scene with interest. “I miss when he says all those Leo-isms.”

“Computer – end program,” Raph called, scowling at the intruders. “What’re you two doin’ here?”

“Came to check on you, dude,” Mikey frowned. “You’ve been in here for _hours_.”

Raph continued to stare at his brothers, not sure what to say. He was a little emotional at the moment after seeing Leo – hologram or not. He hadn’t meant to pull up the image at all, hadn’t wanted the reminder of what was missing. Yet temptation had been too strong. Like always, he was too weak, and crumbled at the thought of Leonardo.

When he didn’t reply, Donnie sighed. “Ginger’s almost made a break through. Said she should have some actual footage to show us in an hour or so.”

“She’s got it all back?” the big turtle asked, unable to hide the hope in his voice.

“Not all,” Don warned. “Just some clips here and there. She said the entire system had been fired. Almost beyond repair kind of fried.”

Anything was better than having nothing, and despite how annoying Ginger was, she had her uses. And if they could figure out from the feed she retrieved what might have happened, they’d have a better idea of what they should be doing next. The sooner Raphael could get his hands around Armaggon’s throat, the better. And the sooner he had Leo in his arms, the easier he could breathe.

While the older turtle lost himself in thought, the younger brothers gave one another a look before Mikey braved the silence. “Umm…Raph?” When green eyes met blue, the youngest continued. “Donnie…umm, Donnie told me that you and Mona weren’t…dating anymore?”

 _Shit_. He knew this was coming. Sighing, Raph plopped down on the floor, mindful of the sword hanging at his side, and waited impatiently for his brothers to join him. Might as well get this awkwardness out of the way while he could do it on his own terms.

When the other two quickly sat cross legged before their brother, the tension that surrounded them threatened Raph’s temper. Unable to take it, he snapped. “Well?”

“Right!” Donnie nearly shouted, before catching himself. “Right. So…you wanna tell us what happened? I mean, you’re really not with Mona Lisa anymore?”

“Yeah, man, I thought you two were, like, gunna get married and stuff – have weird little hybrid babies,” Mikey blurted before snapping his mouth closed at his brother’s death glare.

Counting backwards from ten, the hothead decided to be forward. “Mona and I aren’t datin’ anymore. We’re done. Tried it, didn’t work out. End a’ story.”

“Is it because of…of the ‘Major’?” Donatello asked softly, sympathetically.

It would have been so easy for Raph to have said ‘yes.’ In fact, it was on the tip of his tongue before he even consciously realized what he was going to say. While Major S’Regythe had been a pain in Raph’s ass when they’d met a few times, the turtle honestly didn’t have anything against the Salamandrian other than his obvious liking of Mona. And really, the guy hadn’t been that bad, just tended to act like an idiot when the Lieutenant was around. He was a pretty decent male from what Raph had seen. Mona could do a lot worse than S’Regythe.

But as tempting as it was to lie, to use the Major as a cover, Raphael knew it was time for the truth. Because the second they found Leo, he knew he wouldn’t be completely in control of his facilities. He had a feeling that the minute he saw the turtle, he’d make an ass of himself, either breaking down crying or laughing in stupid hysterics. This, of course, only after he kissed Leonardo silly. His brothers deserved a heads up at the very least.

Taking a deep breath, reminding himself that he had to do this if he ever wanted to keep Leo, and that Sensei was okay with it, Raph admitted, “No. He…He’s not the reason.” Before Mikey could say anything stupid, the older ninja bulldozed on. “It was me. I don’t…I mean, I’m the one that ended it. I jus’…don’t…love Mona. Like that. I thought I did, or could, but I don’t.”

He couldn’t look at them when he admitted it. Instead, his fingers went to the hilt of the katana, finding comfort in the leather grips. He had to do this, he continued to chant in his head. If he wanted to be with Leo, he had to do this. Had to get their brothers’ blessings.

“Why?” Don frowned, obviously unable to understand. “I mean, you were so…a-and Mona seemed to be the _one_. Why would you end it?”

“Because,” Raph struggled with his feelings, knowing what he had to say, but not quite able to voice it. He pulled at the katana, not completely freeing the sword, but moving it within the sheath. “Because I love…someone else.”

Chancing a glance up found his younger brothers sitting ramrod straight with wide eyes. This wasn’t going exactly how Raph would have liked, but then again, he wasn’t sure how he’d imaged this to go. It was much better than screaming and rioting certainly, but the shocked confusion wasn’t exactly helping. Especially with the way Mikey’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Y-you love someone else?!” Donnie cried, mouth hanging open. “Who? Was it someone you met while you were on tour?”

“No,” Raph shook his head, wishing he could just spit it out, but found his throat closing up. His knuckles were pale as he squeezed the katana hilt.

“But that would mean…” Brown eyes went dead momentarily, before a heartbreaking expression overcame his features. “I-is it April? You’ve been so adamant on this whole mission and –”

“Not April,” Raph denied feeling like he was going to get sick. “I-it’s…”

“Leo.”

Raph gaped at his youngest brother in terror as he waited for the revulsion and anger to come. But Mikey sat surprisingly quiet, just staring at his brother. It was one of the few times the kid actually remained still, not bouncing or wiggling. Just sitting there calming, regarding his older brother with an uncanny perceptiveness that made Raph’s skin crawl.

Beside him, Donnie startled, before snorting. “What? Don’t be ridiculous, Mikey. Raph doesn’t – ”

“I do.” It felt like he’d swallowed a coconut as he admitted it, his heart hammering so fast he thought he’d pass out.

Another silence fell over the trio as they stared at one another. Donnie was flabbergasted while Mikey’s lips pressed together in a thin line. Raph sat as upright as he could, trying his hardest to appear as if he wasn’t intimidated by what his brothers thought. It shouldn’t be so hard! He’d faced their father, why was this any different?

But Raph knew the answer. Their father was out of the house. He was human. In many ways Splinter had never ceased to be Hamato Yoshi. He’d never been an animal like they had, wasn’t truly mutant. He’d known a life outside of their existence – the boys had only ever had the sewers and each other. And that’s why this mattered. Raph wanted his brothers, the other creatures that were like him, to accept him. To understand. Because if they didn’t, if they truly thought this was wrong, that there was something wrong with _him_ , then maybe there was. Maybe what he felt for Leonardo shouldn’t be pursued.

“WHAT?!” Don cried, hands going to his head as he stared at his brother in disbelief. “No. No, I’ve misheard. You’re both making it sound like you’re _in love_ with Leonardo, not that you love him like our brother…” The genius trailed off when Raph could only sit stiffly blinking at him. “No, no way. Y-You can’t love _Leo_! H-he’s our big brother! You…you went into space for Mona Lisa!”

“I went inta space for Leo,” Raph countered quietly, wincing at the decibels Don could reach.

“This is insane!” Donnie laughed, before snapping his mouth closed. “You can’t love Leo. Not like that. We’re _brothers_!”

“Dude,” Mikey breathed out a sigh, lowering his head. Raph felt all the air rush out of his lungs. This was it. Rejection. “I should have seen this _EARLIER_!”

That had the two older turtles jumping, as they stared at the baby with varying degrees of incredulity. “WHAT?!” Don cried.

Mikey winced, shoving a finger in his ear as if to stop it from ringing. “What do you mean, what?” he asked confused.

“What do you mean, what do you mean, what?!”

“What do _you_ mean, what do you mean, what…uh, do you mean…mean _you_ do…umm…?”

“ENOUGH!” Raph snarled, drawing attention back to himself. He couldn’t take it anymore. This needed to be done now and he wasn’t wasting anymore time. “I’m in love with Leo. There, happy? No more misunderstandings!”

While Donnie continued to stare in horror, Mikey rolled his eyes. “Well, _duh_. I mean, now that you say it, it was _so obvious_.”

“What do you mean it was obvious?!” the genius continued to flail.

But the other two brothers ignored him for the time being, Raph focusing solely on Mikey. “Yer…not grossed out? I mean, yer okay with this?”

“I’m not gunna say I’m not kinda weirded out,” Mikey leaned back on his hands, but smiled at his older brother reassuringly. “But, I mean, I get it, I guess. Leo’s a cool dude. And you two’ve always kinda bickered like an old married couple anyway.”

“I can’t believe this,” Donnie looked back and forth between his brothers. “Am I the _only one_ who hasn’t lost their mind?”

The words cut deep, but really this was going better than Raph had any room to hope for. And if things had been reversed, and he’d found out one of his brothers loved another brother, he definitely wouldn’t have been so calm. Donatello had every right to freak out, especially since this blindsided him on top of all the stress he was under with the search. At least Mikey was taking this better than expected.

Taking a breath, Raph pressed on. “I know this is kinda weird.” He ignored Donnie’s ‘ya think!’ “But I…This ain’t some weird infatuation or a – a crush or somethin’. I love ‘im. I’ve…I’ve loved him for a-a long time.”

“But…I mean… _How_?” Donnie stressed. “All you and Leo ever _did_ was fight! You could hardly be in the same room as each other! Did he even know?”

“Seems kinda obvious, D,” Mikey crossed his arms across his plastron.

“HOW IS ANY OF THIS OBVIOUS?!”

“ _Think_ , D,” the younger turtle rolled his eyes. “Of _course_ Leo knew. Why else would he have dropped everything and run off into space? He was gunna go get Raph. Right?” blue eyes turned towards the older turtle. “He was gunna come to sweep you off your feet, right?”

Raph flushed, grumbling under his breath while Mikey cackled. Don stared at the two of them probably gaging their insanity levels. “No _wonder_ Leo didn’t like Mona Lisa!” Mikey laughed. “I bet he was jealous as hell!”

Raph couldn’t do more than sit watching his brothers. A part of him wanted to glare, wanted to snarl at being mocked, at _Leo_ being mocked. But he was so relieved Mikey was cool, even if Don wasn’t. One brother on his side was a step in the right direction. It meant that maybe this whole affair with their elder brother wasn’t so disgusting after all.

It took Donnie a few minutes of sputtering and floundering before he threw out his hands, eyes closed, in an attempt to recompose himself. “Okay. Stop. Time out. So,” he finally looked back up at Raph, who couldn’t get rid of the stupid blush on his face. “You and Leo… _like_ each other?” he began slowly. “Leo knew. You left because…?”

Looking away, Raph growled. “’Cause it ain’t exactly kosher ta like yer brother. I thought…I thought maybe I could get rid of the feelings, I guess. Try ta forget about ‘em…About him.”

When he looked up, he found both his brothers watching him with sympathy. The compassion wasn’t expected, and it took him by surprise that he had to fight off tears. Like hell he was going to let them see him cry over Leo! He still had a reputation to maintain.

“So you left to forget and Leo let you,” Donnie continued on, voice softer this time.

“But he didn’t like it,” Mikey chimed. “He got all quiet and mopey and spent all that time alone.”

“So then he decided to come out into space to get you,” the genius took over. “And that’s where we are now. Something went wrong with the plan.”

“What about April? How’d she get mixed into all this?”

“How’d’ya think?” Raph snorted, finally able to let go of the katana to cross his arms over his chest. “She found out somethin’, probably annoyed Leo ta death until he admitted somethin’.”

The pieces of the puzzle were all falling into place. The picture was slowly clearing. But there were still parts that they had no clue about. Such as, why hadn’t Leo just told any of them that he was going to bring Raph home? Why wouldn’t April say anything? Why had Kirby kept information from them? Why hadn’t they returned? What truly happened to the Fugitoid?

They were questions that only Ginger could tease out of the wrecked security system. And once they had those answers, there would be nothing in the universe that would stop Raphael from finding his brother and friend. He would take on Armaggon, Dregg, even all the demons from hell if he had to. He would not be leaving this adventure without Leonardo.

“Sooooo~” Raph scowled over at his youngest brother. “Like, Leo was pretty upset when you were gone. Just how close _were_ you two?”

There was no way Raph could have stopped his face from flushing any darker as his brothers watched him. At his embarrassment, Donnie hung his head with a sigh. “Sweet Darwin’s beard,” he groaned. “I don’t wanna know!”

“Why?” Mikey eyed the genius before turning a wicked smile to the older turtle. “Did you ever get a kiss? How would that even work, what with Leo’s honor always gettin’ in the way all –”

“Fuck off!” Raph shoved Mikey away, mortified. He wasn’t about to get into the details of his sex life with them. Not at the moment, anyway. Despite the embarrassment, however, the turtle found himself feeling as if a weight on his chest had eased. It wasn’t gone completely, but he could breathe.

“So yer both…okay?” he asked slowly, needing clarification. “With me and Leo?”

Mike was already nodding. “As long as I don’t gotta hear anything, I’m cool,” he flashed a grin.

Don hesitated. “What are you going to tell Sensei?”

“He already knows,” Raph admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “He…wasn’t all that surprised.”

The lanky turtle sighed, rubbing his arm as he thought. “I’m…I’m not too sure how I feel about this,” he confessed. “I mean, I don’t hate you or Leo or anything, I just…This is weird, Raphael.”

“Tell me about it,” he rolled his eyes before worrying his hands. “So…we’re all cool? I mean, yer not gunna flip when we find Leo and I – ya know – try ta be with him instead?”

“It’s all good, bro,” Mikey reached out to give his big brother a side hug, while Donnie offered a smile.

“If Sensei’s really okay with it, and both you and Leo know what you’re doing and aren’t just messing around, I’ll…learn to adjust.”

Once again it was hard to keep the tears at bay. “Thanks, guys.”

The brothers ended up falling into conversation after that. Despite their reunion going on two weeks, they hadn’t exactly had time to sit and talk. With the weight of the secret off his chest, and not having to hide anything, Raph told his brothers about his time in space, about the war and fighting for Salamandria. While he down played the violence a bit for their sakes, not exactly wanting to bring up the fact that he’d actually killed people over the year, it was nice to vent and talk freely. Likewise, they told him about the things they’d been doing that didn’t involve the disappearance of Leo and April.

It was nice. The three of them talking. It was almost like it had been. They were older now, each having changed quite a bit, but they were still the same on the inside. They managed to laugh and relax truly for the first time since Raphael had gotten home. Because when Raph was calm, everyone was calm.

They were just starting to get tired, thinking of turning in, when Mona Lisa came onto the holodeck. She seemed a little surprised to find them camped out, but pleased to see the brothers all getting along. Smiling at them, she met Raph’s eyes. He gave her a nod, which had her smile broadening.

“I hope I am not interrupting,” she nodded to them.

“Nope!” Mikey jumped up and gave the Salamandrian a hug. “We were gunna go to bed.”

“I hope you were not set on this plan,” she told them as she hugged the little turtle back.

“Oh?” Don asked as he and Raph stood.

“Q’Thakra has managed to retrieve footage. She would like for us to meet on the bridge.”

“Aww-yeah!” Mikey cried, running for the door, Raph having to restrain himself from doing likewise.

As the other three followed at a more sedate pace, Mona hung back, grabbing Raph’s wrist. When Donnie was well enough ahead, she whispered, “Is everything all right?”

“Great,” Raph nodded sharply, but he meant it. Things had gone well. Much better than they probably should have. It reminded him once again how lucky he was to have the family he did. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve done if Don and Mikey had taken the news worse than they had. “All good.”

“Excellent. Now come. We must see what our Battle Sister has retrieved!”

Nodding, Raph grabbed at the katana hilt, preparing himself for anything.


	17. Lost in Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang find out what exactly happened to Leonardo and April while out in space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY getting to the part where the original idea came from. Hope ya enjoy it, because I'm excited for this next half of the adventure!

The moment the group came onto the bridge, an absolutely wired Q’Thakra sitting at the console she had been since that morning, waved to them. There looked to be what suspiciously resembled coffee cups littered beside her. “Friends!” she cried, vibrating. “I have saved documentation!”

“So?” Raph snapped, crowding around just as close as Mikey and Casey. “Show us!”

Nodding, turning instantly to what she had managed to gather, Ginger babbled about what she had to do to retrieve the footage, about having to cross it with the back-up feeds and revamping this or that, blah-blah-blah. Raph didn’t care about the process, all he wanted were the results. Forced to wait, impatience eating his soul, at last Ginger had set everything up, and the group watched as clear images were projected.

Leonardo and April on the bridge was the first to appear, talking to the Fugitoid. There was no sound, but the images were clear. Raph found himself trying to read lips. It was impossible with the professor, and he was unfortunately the one doing most of the talking in the image. Leo and April would nod, give short little replies that looked like questions, before the three walked off. Leo had his arms wrapped around himself, shivering.

The next image popped up and Leo had on that cloak they’d seen him in before, clearly much more comfortable with having a barrier against the chill of space. “ _Are you sure they’ll get the message?_ ” the leader frowned from his station, April beside him.

“ _Certainly!_ ” Professor Honeycutt smiled. “ _I’ll send out the request just as soon as we’re orbiting Salamandria. With the added boost they can give us, as well as the official security clearance, it will be delivered easily._ ”

“ _See?_ ” April leaned against Leo. “ _You’re worrying too much about this. We’ll find him._ ”

Leonardo didn’t look all that reassured. “ _And you’re sure we’re allowed to stay on Salamandria? I mean, they don’t exactly come across as…super friendly._ ”

“ _You’ll be_ fine _, Leonardo,_ ” the professor soothed. “ _They may bear the proclivity towards fighting, but they are hardly unreasonable or unfriendly… Once they know you. You will be most welcomed there as you wait._ ”

The sound cut out for a little while, the conversation carrying on, before April asked a question that was picked up. “ _–long was that again?_ ”

“ _It depends on how far out they are, as I’ve said. If Raphael can be spared from battle. I don’t see it being more than several weeks._ ”

“ _Right…How far from Salamandria are we now?_ ” Leo frowned.

“ _No more than a week yet. Until then, I suggest you come with me and we’ll continue testing.”_

Leonardo did _not_ look happy with that, but April smiled reassuringly, pushing on him to get up and out of his station. “ _I’ll watch things up here. You two go_.”

And with that, the video continued to show April alone on the bridge while the professor and Leo left. As Ginger fiddled around, claiming that that was the most significant footage at the beginning and needing to skip ahead now, the others looked between each other. They had their undeniable proof now that Leo and April were trying to meet Raph, or at least talk to him. Their plan had been to go to Salamandria, summon Raphael, and no doubt beg him to return to Earth. But they were attacked somewhere between Earth and Salamandria, meaning that they probably hadn’t even been out in space for a week.

A few images were skipped over much to Raphael’s annoyance. Ginger assured him he could watch it later if he felt like it, but wanted to get to the main footage. “The end,” she called it, which unsettled everyone.

The next thing they saw was the Fugitoid, April, and Leo sitting on the bridge. While the android and human were working, Leonardo had his head resting in his arms, leaned forward on the console. He almost appeared asleep. That wasn’t like Leo even if everything seemed fine, if a little boring. But then suddenly, the entire ship shook.

The group watched with wide eyes as the bridge came to life, lights flashing, sirens calling out that there was a haul breech in the lower decks, April rushing over to the weapon controls. “ _I don’t see anything_!” she called.

As the ship sealed itself off, the panic stalling for one moment as a terrible silence fell over the bridge. Then something huge rammed into the doors, almost completely caving it in. “ _Quick! Through here!”_ the Fugitoid urged, gesturing for the secondary transporter room, while the door was being breached.

Raphael watched, heart hammering, as April grabbed Leo, who had been trying to draw his swords, and pushed him towards the transporter. “ _Go!_ ” she insisted.

“ _I’m not just gunna – !”_

“ _GO_!” she snarled, drawing her laser gun as well as having the tessen ready.

The Fugitoid pushed Leonardo forward and towards the transporter before he could argue further. When the turtle was in the hall, the screen splitting so they could watch both the feeds from the bridge and the secondary transporter room. From the second video, Leo scowled, drawing his katana and preparing himself for the fight. Out on the bridge, the Fugitoid was urging April to get moving from the doorway. But just as the woman started to run, the doors burst open, Armaggon leaping through. The shark didn’t hesitate before he went after April.

It was amazing how April, being human, was actually able to hold off the shark for a few minutes, both she and the Fugitoid firing on him. But the lasers were near useless unless they hit skin, and with Armaggon armored completely, they bounced off harmlessly. With the advantage of size and armor, the shark launched himself at April, slamming her down into the floor, intent on mauling her.

Casey sucked in a breath while Donnie cried out as they watched the young woman’s head bouncing off the floor. _Hard_. But before the shark could do anything else, a terrible wave from April’s powers sent the beast flying backwards as she cried out in pain and fear. As Armaggon was slammed into the opposite wall, the Professor sprinted forward. Not wasting time, the android grabbed April and dragged her towards the transporter as the human was still trying to recover from the sudden surge in her powers.

Leonardo as standing anxiously in the transporter room, but closed the door the moment the others were inside. Rushing over, he grabbed April and helped her onto the transporter pad. _“I’m fine,_ ” she kept muttering, clearly not in her right senses. “ _You okay?_ ”

“ _I’m going to transport you to the nearest space station,_ ” Professor Honeycutt said as his fingers flew across the controls. Armaggon, by that time, had gotten up and was ramming the door. “ _Once there, you’re going to have to pay for some kind of transport to Salamandria.”_

Still holding April, Leo frowned. “ _What about you? You’re coming too._ ”

The android paused. “ _Someone’s going to have to stay here and ensure you make it_ –”

“ _No!”_ the turtle cried.

“ _Leo,_ ” April blinked, trying to come out of her daze, a bruise already clearly seen forming on the side of her face as she held his shoulder. “ _We can’t stay_.”

“ _But –!_ ”

“ _You’re more important,_ ” the android snapped. “ _All right. Ready? I’m –_ ”

But by then the doors burst open and Armaggon was once again on the attack. “ _Oh no ya don’t_!”

This time, despite April trying to hold him back, Leo jumped in to fight, slashing at the shark even as the professor started firing. Their attacker ended up landing on the controls of the transporter, his jaws getting stuck around it momentarily, before he was up again. The Fugitoid leapt on the beast, trying to shock the creature. Armaggon roared in pain, but fell backwards, rolled and repeatedly smashed the android into the walls, before grabbing him and smashing him down into the floor, stomping on his head as the loose wiring began to electrocute the professor this time.

“ _NO!_ ”

With little thought Leonardo was in range to slice through the shark’s armor, cutting into his arm. Armaggon, acting on impulse, snarled as he backhanded the turtle. The katana easily countered the move, but within the cramped space and not wanting to hurt April, who was fumbling with her gun, Leo wasn’t able to block the knife that came at his face.

Raphael felt his heart stop as Armaggon slash Leonardo’s face. His beloved’s scream echoed through the bridge, cutting into Raph’s soul. This was just like his dream. It was déjà vu, and he felt as if he was going to get sick.

But instead of it morphing into the part of the dream where Leo was mauled, the turtle, on reflex swung his sword at his attacker wildly as he stumbled backwards, back onto the transporter pad. It forced Armaggon to back up away from the blade unless he wanted to get injured again. By that time, Leo had dropped a katana, his hand pressing over his eye as he continued to hiss in agony, April also doing her best to help as she shot at the shark. In the cramped space, the massive alien tripped over the Fugitoid’s convulsing body, and ended up having to catch himself on the console. And in confused horror, the group watched as Leonardo and April suddenly disappeared.

“ _NO!_ ” Armaggon roared as he spun to look at the console, eyes roaming over the controls before smashing his fists down on it a few times. “ _No, no, no!_ ” Cursing in languages that the Terrans didn’t understand but didn’t need translated, they watched as the shark calmed. For several minutes he worked, messing with the console before typing somethings into his wrist controls. “ _Beamed into open space,”_ he muttered darkly, glaring down at the Fugitoid before kicking him. “ _What a waste._ ”

And with that, the outlaw stormed off. They all watched as the Fugitoid continued to lay on the floor convulsing now and again. Nothing else happened, everything was quiet save for the faint sounds of electrical surges. No one knew what to say, just continued to stare at where Leo and April had once been.

Ginger, having calmed considerably, skipped ahead until there was movement, the time showing about ten hours later, before the Fugitoid’s backup systems kicked on and he stood. The usual yellow light of his eyes and mouth were now blue, indicating that it wasn’t really the professor in control. The android staggered out of the control room and they watched as the automaton began the tedious task of cleaning up and repairing the ship.

Unable to handle anymore, Donnie turned off the feed. “Well. I-I guess we know what happened,” he whispered.

“Wh-what did the finhead mean when he said ‘beamed inta open space’?” Casey asked carefully.

Ginger stared at the group sadly. “The coordinates that the Fugitoid originally programed into the transporter must have been changed during the fight,” she explained, tail thrashing about anxiously. “Unless another transporter system was nearby to pick up the signal, Leonardo and April would have had nowhere to go. Essentially their partials would have been beamed out into open space…They would be dead.”

“That’s _not_ what happened!” Raphael snarled. “What really happened? Where are they?!”

Having snapped out of his own surprise, the Fugitoid looked over the information Ginger had been able to retrieve. His manner told them that they weren’t going to like what they heard. “According to the position at the time of the attack, and the coordinates that had been set…I-I am so sorry, my friends. There are no technologically advanced planets in that system…”

“Meaning the transporter signal was lost,” Donatello swallowed thickly.

“So they’re really gone?!” Casey cried. “We come all this way and they’re just…scattered across space?!”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!” Raph bellowed at the top of his lungs. It was enough to have everyone else staring at him, shutting them up. Once he had their attention – and he didn’t feel like he was going to crumple to the floor in utter devastation – he glared at the genius’ of the group. “Find out what happened.”

“Raph – ”

“NO. Find out what happened,” his voice was clipped.

“Raphael, if there was nothing the signal could even bounce off of –”

“They’re _not_ dead,” he hissed.

“But –”

“THEY’RE NOT!”

Raphael would not accept this…this… _theory._ They had no proof, could only make guesses as to what happened. Even if there was still the slightest bit of hope, he would take it. Not until he had something real, something substantial, that showed him beyond a shadow of a doubt that Leonardo was dead, would he accept it. Because while he would be sorry to hurt his younger brothers, he knew he couldn’t return to Earth without the leader. He’d rather scatter his own particles across the universe. But until then, until he had proof, he would scour the stars until all hope was lost.

With Raphael literally standing over them, ready to snap at any given moment should they not work fast enough on finding some sort of solution, eventually the Fugitoid paused in his rapid typing. “Fascinating.”

“What?” Casey demanded, leaning on Raph to get a better view of the screen.

“This,” the android brought up the image on the screen. “This planet was the closest to us at the time of the attack. It is a primitive planet that most systems warn against interfering with. It’s been monitored for some time but has yet to show any real signs of advancement. I would say that compared to your Earth, it is still in its feudal/medieval period.”

“Get to the point,” Raph snarled.

“Right. Well, _look_ ,” the professor pointed to some kind of blip that made absolutely no sense to any of them with an I.Q. lower than 130. “This signal here.”

Ginger leaned forward, squinting and cocking her head to the side. “Is that natural?” a frown actually marring her muzzle. “Surely such a planet cannot have a true transceiver.”

“You mean there’s a chance something picked up Leo and April’s signal?” Mikey asked, grabbing ahold of Casey and squeezing him tight.

“Can there be such a thing as a naturally occurring transceiver?” Donnie asked. “I mean, this planet has no technology to speak of.”

“The secret of transporter technology comes from the crystals used to bounce the wave particles and energy patterns in the dematerialization/materialization process,” Ginger explained excitedly. “Crystals used are essentially raw, very little cutting or polishing required.”

“Meaning that this planet may have enough raw crystals that could pick up the lost transporter signal and rematerialize Leonardo and April on the surface!” the Fugitoid cried in delight.

“But that’s a pretty big leap,” Donnie warned. “We have no proof, and quite frankly, from what I see here, that’s still a pretty long distance to beam out. Even with another transporter catching the signal. And even if Leo and April’s signals got caught by crystals planet side and they were rematerialized, there’s a very great chance that they wouldn’t rematerialize whole or even alive.”

“It’s a start!” Mikey cried, glaring at the lanky turtle. “We have to check it out!”

“The possibilities of this succeeding are slim,” Ginger nodded, “but I agree with Michelangelo-Mikey. There is a chance these crystals strengthened the signal just enough that they could survive.”

It was decided that they would head to where the accident originally occurred, and while they did, the resident geniuses would run simulations and tests to determine if there was any hope of finding April and Leo alive on the primitive planet that the cross-dimensional scientific community called Terre 390-7. It was remarkably Earth like, and from what little information there was of it, they learned that the planet was progressing similarly to that of their own planet with strikingly similar languages and cultures. Essentially it was a second Earth. The biggest difference, however, being that land masses differed in shape and the fact that the dominate species wasn’t human.

“Ya mean they’re _mutants_?” Casey asked as they stared at the charts.

“Not mutants,” the Fugitoid denied. “They developed naturally as they are. There are no humans on this planet, but creatures that you might call anthropomorphic animals on yours.”

“Dude,” Mikey breathed. “That’s _awesome_.”

“So if Leo was stuck there, he’d be okay?” Raph asked, unable to stop himself from worrying. “He’d be able ta get help after the attack?”

“April wouldn’t,” Casey looked sick, for once putting aside the excitement of a new planet. “She’d look nothin’ like any of ‘em.”

“They might believe her to be some kind of primate they’ve never seen,” Donnie suggested. “Especially if Leo was with her, vouching for her. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”

“We are here,” Mona called, having been the one to control the ship while the others worked.

Ginger still sat at her control station, smiling sleepily. It had been a long night for them all. “Would anyone like to see what I found out about the tests Professor Honeycutt was running on – ”

“Not now,” Raph snapped, turning his entire attention to the star charts.

From here, Terre 390-7 was still a good ways off, and he suddenly understood better why the others had doubted anyone could survive a beam this distance. But after running the simulations over and over again, it was deduced that beaming onto the planet from such a great distance was plausible. Highly dangerous and with potentially tremendous risks, but still possible. They only needed to test it for real.

“I’ll do it,” Raphael didn’t hesitate to volunteer.

“WHAT?! We’re not going to test it on something _living_!” Donnie cried. “Are you _insane_?!”

The big turtle shrugged. “How we know if it’d really work if it ain’t on somethin’ livin’? Send me through like them, and if it works, I’ll contact you.”

“Raphael, don’t be an _idiot_ ,” Don hissed. “I know you’re…well, I know we’re all feeling a little desperate, but I’m not going to beam you when there’s a risk you’ll be torn apart before you ever reach the planet!”

“Then how’ll we ever know if it worked for Leo and April?” he snapped. “I thought all yer experiments were about recreating shit as close to the original as possible? How’ll we know if they really survived and are waitin’ for us down there if we pussy out now? We could waste all our time searchin’ for ‘em and they’re not even there.”

There was no logical comeback for that and Donnie knew it. While Raph tended not to use it often, he was capable of thinking logically when arguing. This was too important to fudge the results by playing it safe, and honestly, Raph would rather die like Leo had than go on without him.

“I just…don’t wanna lose you, too,” the genius whispered.

“Then get it right,” Raph offered a smirk before carefully punching his brother’s shoulder. “Get ready. We’re doin’ this shit _now_. Tired of waitin’.”

No one was thrilled with Raphael’s decision, but then again, everyone knew they couldn’t stop him. Casey wanted to go with him, but no one would let him. They were not going to potentially lose two family members. If Raphael survived the beam and his signal came through, the Fugitoid would pilot the ship closer to the planet and beam down the rest of the party from a safer distance. Mona Lisa volunteered to stay behind on the ship with Ginger, the Salamandrians and android wanting to completely repair the ship and monitor them while they were planet-side. And while she never said it, Raph knew Mona didn’t want to be there when he had his reunion with Leo. She would give them their privacy, and he was grateful.

They dressed him in an outfit that might let him pass as a merchant in feudal society, giving him replicated coins for currency. And with his sai hanging on his belt, and Leo’s katana on his back, Raphael stepped up on the transporter with the small sack of supplies, ready to be beamed onto the planet so very far away.

“Contact us as soon as you get there,” Donnie fretted before giving his brother a hug.

Mikey hugged him too, trying to put on a brave face and stay positive. After saying a few ‘see ya laters’ to his friends and family, Raph wasn’t quite able to stop himself from holding his breath as he felt the tingle of the transporter beam.

_Hang on, Leo. I’m comin’ for ya._


	18. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys beam down to Terre 390-7

Dark. Everything was dark. Cold. It felt as though he were being pulled and twisted and bent all at the wrong angles all at the same time. Everything was spinning, everything out of control. His stomach felt as though it had been switched around with his lungs and then relocated to the outside of his body. His brain exploded with fire, his limbs felt as though they were being torn apart. And just when the agony stretched on a little too far, when he thought he would die from the torture, it was over.

Landing solidly on the ground on his shell, Raph gave a shout, before the air was knocked out of his lungs. Before he could do anything, he managed to roll over on to his side only milliseconds before barfing his guts out on the grass in front of him. The horrible burning sensation had left, but he was still left nauseous and dizzy. Only when he felt like he had enough strength did he push himself up only to continue vomiting on his hands and knees. It was violent and messy and projectile, leaving the reptile weak and miserable.

What the hell had _that_ been? It was enough to make him never want to use the transporter again. _Ever_.

When his stomach began to settle and there was absolutely nothing left, Raph sat back clumsily, having to catch himself with his hands. He’d been sick before, thrown up, but never like _that_. That had been just about the worst experience he’d ever had happen to him. And that included the time Mikey farted in his open mouth when he’d been asleep. If Leonardo and April had a similar ride, Raph truly felt sorry for them.

But thinking of the pair had the turtle sitting upright, eyes wide, sickness forgotten. Because now that he was calming from the nausea, he realized that he was a live. Although he might not have liked it at that moment, he was _alive_! And he was _whole_. He still had his arms and legs, his head was on the right way, and while his intestines were still squirmy, he was pretty sure everything was right where it was supposed to be. He was alive and whole and _okay_.

Leo and April would have survived!

Scrambling to pull out the special communicator they’d given him, Raph eagerly pressed the signal and called in. The moment he pressed it, Donnie’s anxious voice came screeching over from the other side. “ _Raph! Are you okay? What’s wrong?_ ”

Grimacing, the older turtle had to hold the communicator away from his ear, wincing as his still aching head began to pound more viciously. “Nothin’,” he snapped. “Fine. Survived the beam.”

“ _What took you so long?!_ ” Mikey cried, his voice slightly muffled, like he was being pushed back.

Blinking in surprise, Raphael realized it must have taken him a while to recover from the nausea. While he was being miserable getting sick, his friends and brothers had been left wondering if he’d made it or if he’d been torn apart, his particles now dusting space. “Yeah…Was a bumpy ride,” he admitted. “Sortta threw up once I landed.”

“ _Threw up?_ ” Donnie questioned. “ _Are you all right now? Do you think things were rearranged internally or is there –?”_

“Don!” Raph rolled his eyes. “’M fine. Just got sick. No big deal. Feelin’ a lot better now. Just one helluva ride.”

There was a pause, he could hear several of the others talking in the background, before he could just imagine his brother nodding. “ _Okay. Well…how is it there? Are you in a safe area? Do you see anything_?”

Actually taking in his surroundings for the first time, Raphael realized it was dark. Night, actually. And he was in the middle of a clearing in some kind of woods. While he couldn’t see anything, he was grateful the moon was out and the sky was clear. There were no other lights that he could make out, couldn’t hear anyone around, just the sounds of strange creatures he hoped didn’t have a taste for turtles, and water trickling from a small stream nearby.

“Nothin’ here,” he reported, standing up. “I’m in the middle of a forest. Can’t see anythin’ else around. It’s night.”

“ _All right, good. Stay right where you are and contact us if you get into any trouble. It’ll take us a few hours before we’re close enough in range to beam there safely, but we’ll get there as soon as possible.”_

After clearing up a few details before ending the transmission, Raphael wandered over to sit at the base of a tree to rest and wait for his brothers. Thankfully it appeared to be summer, the air cool but tolerable even in the darkness. Propping up his knees, he rested his arms on top of them with a sigh. As he took in the environment, trying to see if there were any details he missed, Raph couldn’t help but wonder if there were any big animals around. He didn’t want to have to fight off some crazy beast while alone and ill. Throwing up took a lot out of a guy.

It was pretty dark, but as the moon came out from behind a passing cloud, the big turtle was suddenly struck by how familiar this place looked. Shifting, trying to get more comfortable, Raph leaned his head back against the trunk of the tree, trying to figure out where he might have seen this place before. It’s not like he’d ever been to this planet, he’d have remembered coming to a place where anthropomorphic animals were the norm. But there was something about it that made his shell itch in that irritating ‘I should know’ kind of way.

A breeze blew through the boughs, chilling the turtle enough that he pulled the coat he was wearing around him more snugly. The water from the stream and the sounds of nocturnal beasts were enough that it nearly lulled the reptile to sleep. It was a nice safe little place, after all. There was no one around and it was dark enough that no one would see him. Just like…

 _The farm house!_ Raph sat up and stared around the clearing with renewed interest. Now that he actually _looked_ at it, it bore an uncanny similarity to the clearing back on Earth. The one where he and Leo used to walk and spend time together. Standing up, the turtle squinted in the moon light, realizing that while the tree species might have been different, the landscape was not all that dissimilar. It was eerie, freaking him out a bit with how much it looked like ‘their’ spot. For half a moment he wondered if he would see Leo waiting for him by the stream.

“You.”

The voice by his ear and the sudden claw-like grasp on his shoulder had the turtle shouting in absolute terror. Slapping the hand away and jumping away from his attacker, Raphael did not hesitate to pull his sai, crouching in a ready stance to fight if need be. When his eyes adjusted to the shadows from under the trees, the big turtle paused when he took in the figure of what appeared to be an old woman. An old _turtle_. Short in stature, wrinkled loose skin with gnarled hands. Her clothing was poor and she was leaning upon a thick staff, her cloak blowing slightly in the breeze.

But the appearance of an old turtle woman was not what truly surprised Raphael. What startled him was the fact that she had spoken in Japanese, in a scratchy voice that send chills down the spine. And what kept him shocked was how he could see, even in the night, how her eyes glittered black, otherworldly. It was as though he were staring into the depths of space.

“Come,” she commanded, stretching out her hand, but she did not step out from under the trees.

Several feet away from her, Raphael held his position under the moonlight. “Who are you?” he demanded back in Japanese.

The question did not faze her, only had her repeating, “Come.”

Shifting nervously, the younger turtle scowled. “What do you want?”

The stoic face morphed into a heart stopping, blood chilling smile, showing off the gaps of rotted teeth. “I know who you are. I see the truth of your eyes. Come with me to the Shadow.” Raphael felt his stomach drop. “The Undesirable awaits.”

While boasting a warrior’s spirit, even Raphael would not be ashamed to admit that he turned and ran as fast as he could away from the old woman. While not the most spiritually sensitive of the brothers, even he could feel the power radiating from the old woman, and he knew just from looking at her that she was trouble. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the talk of shadows and undesirables meant nothing good. She had to be some kind of witch, some kind of magician at least! No way in _hell_ was he going to get mixed up with some crazy fucker like that! Especially one that could pierce his soul as she had with her empty stare alone.

And so he ran. He ran through the woods at neck breaking speeds. He ran leaping over stones and fallen trees, and anything in his way. He ran until he came out of the forest completely, nearly stumbling down a steep hill in the process, but managed to stop himself. Once several feet out of the haunted wood, the turtle turned back, panting and wary. He didn’t think he had been followed. And he hoped it would stay that way.

Shaking from the strain of the unknown number of miles run, Raph sat down atop the hill, half facing the wood, while also looking down the hill, his eyes drawn to light. There was a town of some sort just below, fairly large for a feudalistic society.

While the thought of going into town to rest sounded appealing – and to get away from demon-ladies trying to recruit him for their army of the undead or some such shit – he didn’t dare go. Instead, Raph sat out in the open, hugging his cloak to him, trying to stay awake and warm until his brothers came.

**oOoOoOo**

_“I don’t know why you do this shit.”_

_Raphael sat across from his eldest brother, unsure how he had been talked into this. Meditation was_ not _his thing, and while he_ could _do it, he never did it more than necessary. As far as he was concerned, sitting around doing nothing all day was a complete waste of time. And for a turtle that had to be moving almost constantly, it was just plain hell._

 _Unfazed by his grumping, Leonardo continued to light the candles with a deliberate slowness. “It’s a good way to center the mind and calm_ _the soul.” Blue eyes peeked up briefly, shining madly, before he was looking down again. “Besides, Master Splinter say you need to work more at it.”_

_“I can do enough,” the bigger turtle groused, before leaning back on his hands, watching his brother hold the match delicately between his fingers. “I hate that shit.” His snout wrinkled at the incense._

_“It’s just to help clear your head,” Leo’s tone remained even. Straightening up, posture impeccable, the leader closed his eyes and placed his hands on his knees. “Okay. Now, close your eyes and I’ll guide you – ”_

_“I don’t need ya ta_ guide _me!”_

_“ –through the beginning.”_

_Groaning, Raph sat back forward, straightening his own posture. Leo shot him a glare, and while not the brightest, even the hothead knew when to stop complaining. At least this one time. Because he’d made a promise. A stupid, in the heat of the moment promise the other day that resulted in this meditation lesson. “Whatever.”_

_Smiling with just a hint of smugness to it, Leo closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. “All right, Raph. Just close your eyes and let’s begin.”_

_The two began the basic steps into meditation, the elder turtle guiding his brother. When Raphael felt himself calming, his heartrate slowing, and his muscles unwinding, he took a deep breath before expelled it. For a moment nothing else matter except trying to find his way towards his true center. The next step in his lesson._

_But this was the part when things fell apart. While he could meditate, that true center always eluded him. He could calm down, he could relax, but he could not achieve the state of total serenity that both Sensei and Leonardo could. It was a source of great frustration to him. Why couldn’t he do this? Why couldn’t he at least feel that connectedness that everyone else seemed to feel? Why was he always so inferior to his perfect elder brother? Why – ?_

_“Stay with me.” The soothing voice cut through his mind, stalling the anger and aggravation. “Focus. Focus on me. Listen to my voice. Move past your emotion. Let it slide away. There is only peace. Your peace. Find what brings you this peace.”_

_The voice was cool and comforting, soothing away the flames of his agitation and temper. For once he wasn’t burned. And as he sat there, slowly Raphael could feel a sense of weightlessness overtake him. As if his body were drifting out on open water. He was slipping away, being carried by a steady current. And as he drifted with the waves, allowing them to take him where they willed, he began sinking into the cool depths, unconcerned as he sunk down to the bottom. Because his peace was there, just beneath the waves._

_All he had to do was listen and focus on the voice leading him down._

**oOoOoOo**

“Raphie~”

“Wakey, wakey eggs and bakey~”

Raphael groaned, rolling over onto his side and away from the annoyance that was currently poking his face. He was just about to fall back asleep, when something wet slide perilously close to his ear. “Argh!” he cried, bolting up and wiping away the moister.

Casey and Mikey were laughing hysterically, while Donnie watched in exasperation. “Have a nice nap?” the genius huffed.

“The _hell_ was that for?” Raph growled, scowling up at his brothers and friend.

“Revenge,” Mikey wiggled his fingers ominously.

“Yeah, after ya bailed out on our meetin’ spot,” Casey snorted.

Raph stared at the other three, confused before his memory caught up with him. “Oh shit,” he moaned, flopping backwards, staring up at the pale early morning sky. “How long’s it been?”

“Since we last spoke?” Don raised an unimpressed eye ridge. “Four hours. Local time is around five in the morning.”

“Fuck.” He really wished he could have gotten more sleep…and on something more comfortable than the ground. But beggars couldn’t exactly be choosers. Especially with crazy, witch-ladies out in the woods wanting to take him away.

“Come on, homie,” Mikey kicked his brother, who had to retrain himself from stabbing the little bastard with his sai. “We got ‘splorin’ to do!”

Leaping up to put the brat in a headlock, the bigger turtle was all set on putting a chokehold on the irritating little brat, when Donnie rested his hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Raph. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mikey’s right. We’ve got tracking to do.”

Unwilling to let the annoyance off the hook completely, Raph gave the twerp a hard noogie before turning to his taller brother. Crossing his arms, he stared expectantly at the genius. “So, let’s go down to the town.”

“Not without this.” Don moved forward and snapped some kind of bracelet onto Raph’s wrist. “It’s a simple tracking device in case we get lost from one another.”

The bracelet was silver-ish, and on first inspection didn’t look all that special. But after holding it up to his eyes, Raph could just make out the faintest hint of the almost imperceptible blinks indicating the mechanics inside. To anyone else here on this primitive world, it would not appear extraordinary in any way. Where it connected to his wrist, Raph felt some kind of button, which he assumed was what he had to press if he were to get separated from the others.

“Great, we got that done, now let’s _go_ ,” Casey rolled his eyes, flipping up the hood to the cloak he was wearing, as well as tugging down a mask.

Raph scowled. “Won’t that look weird? A guy comin’ inta town wearin’ a _mask_?”

“Lone Ranger got away with it!” Mikey chirped happily.

Ignoring him, Donnie shrugged, carefully untying his own purple and stashing it away. “Not if we don’t react to it. Casey needs to hide his face, and as long as he’s with us and we don’t behave suspiciously, it shouldn’t be that much of a problem.”

Realizing that if they were going to make this work they needed to forfeit their own masks, the other two brothers reluctantly began untying their own. The turtles’ masks had become a part of them, so going without felt strange. Unnatural, even. It had become so much a part of him, to the point where Raphael didn’t always take it off when he slept and often forgot to remove it when he took a shower. But he supposed Don made a point. No use freaking people out walking into town with four masked guys. One would be weird enough. And an image of Leonardo from his vision back on Earth, dressed all in black with no mask, made Raphael feel like this was the right way to go.

“All good,” Mikey gave a thumbs up.

“Now, the professor wasn’t able to pinpoint a language, and since we can’t use the universal translators without the natives catching on, we’re going to have to –”

“They speak Japanese,” Raph informed them. At their startled expressions, he shrugged. “I…heard someone talking before.”

“Oh. Well. Okay then. That takes care of that problem. One less thing we have to worry about,” Donnie smiled, looking much more relaxed than he had moments before.

“Whadya mean?” Casey grumbled. “I won’t know what the hell’s goin’ on!”

“How’s _that_ any different than usual?” Mikey quipped. Laughing, he danced out of the swat aimed for his head, the baby stuck his tongue out before receiving a high-three from Raph. Little bastard was really on today. Probably pumped on excitement and sunshine.

Once they straightened out all the last minute details Don could think of, made a tentative game plan and learned a bit of history that the non-geniuses didn’t really care much about, _finally_ they were walking down the hill and towards the town. Heart hammering in his chest, Raphael wondered if this is where he would find Leonardo, or if this was just the beginning of a new adventure.


	19. Follow the White Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys search the town.

The walk into town took a lot longer than the boys had anticipated. It had appeared closer than it really was, and making sure their presence didn’t attract too much attention meant that it was slow going.

“Look at those buildings.” Donnie’s eyes were wide in wonder as they drew nearer. “They don’t quite look like the houses or shops that should be in feudalistic Japan. The structures are much too…solid.”

“We’re not on Earth anymore, D,” Mikey rolled his eyes. “Alien Japan can do whatever Alien Japan do.”

“Yeah, man. So what if they’re not exact?” Casey snorted from behind his mask. “Let’s just find April an’ Leo and get the hell outta here. Ya got that tracker on?”

Lips pressed together in a thin line, clearly displeased by the lack of interest, Donnie managed to hold back any snotty retorts he might have had. “Yeah. So far I haven’t gotten a trace of her.”

The tracker that the Fugitoid had given to them to help in their search was a DNA tracer. Since they weren’t exactly sure how the DNA of the people of the planet differed – if at all – from that of the mutants, it had been decided that tracking April would be far easier. As presumably the only human on the planet, it would be much simpler to spot her amongst the animal-like inhabitance besides. Raph didn’t really care who was traced, he only wanted to find his brother.

The closer they got to the town, making it into the outskirts by mid-morning, the more Raph found himself getting a little weirded out. Because here they were _strolling_ into town in broad daylight amongst so many different types of people more like him. No one really stopped to look at them, and those that did merely gave a passing glance before carrying on with their business. There was no screaming, no running away, no nothing. They were nothing special – treated like anyone else.

It was still a novel sensation, especially for the younger turtles. Traveling with the Salamandrians had afforded Raphael the experience of not being looked down upon as some kind of freak. He was just another alien amongst the crowd to them. But even here felt different. Maybe it was because of the lifestyle he saw, or maybe because there was more of a collection of species. Raphael found he was completely unextraordinary to the people of this planet, no one ever stopping to consider that he might be an _alien_ at all. It was the first time the turtles felt as though they might actually belong.

Excitement grew in the four as they pushed on towards the middle of town. The structures, as Donnie had mentioned, truly weren’t like those buildings in Sensei’s history books. At least not completely. The material seemed different in ways none of them could immediately describe, and they didn’t look so easily broken like back on Earth. They were sturdier to the eye, able to withstand and endure the come-what-may. But the town was similar to those of ancient Earth, and it felt so bizarre to be in the middle of it.

The sights, the sounds, listening to shouts as artisans sold their wares, the smell of food wafting in the air, watching people leading away strange beasts that must be the animals of this planet. It was all so weird. But not as strange as seeing dogs and cats and sheep and lizards and everything else imaginable strolling through the crowds, talking and acting so very… _human_. All their lives the turtles had struggled to walk the line between their humanity and animal natures. Yet here they were, finally amongst people who were just the same.

“Dudes, I’m freakin’ _out_!” Mikey whispered, blue eyes blown wide as they darted around, intent on taking in as much as possible all at once.

“Easy, Mike,” Donnie put a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

It seemed odd to Raphael that the people weren’t taking more of an interest in the strangers wandering through their town so early in the morning. Maybe it was just because it was such a big town, lots of people always passing through. But something didn’t feel right, the atmosphere was static. They were missing something.

“We need ta split up,” he whispered to the others. “Find out what’s the deal.”

The fact that Donnie didn’t hesitate to agree told his big brother that he wasn’t the only one that noticed the tension in the air. “We can meet back there,” he pointed to a sign that looked like it was for an inn. “Casey, you’ll need to go with me. Raph, Mikey, you try to listen in on the local gossip. Meet in two hours?”

While Casey didn’t exactly want to go with Donnie, thankfully he seemed to understand that he wasn’t all that useful at the moment. Not being able to understand a word of Japanese meant he couldn’t go by himself and the last few times Casey had gone with either Mikey or Raph, they’d gotten into trouble. So knowing it wasn’t the time to argue, his desire to find April more prominent, the human sighed with nod. “Fine.”

Each going in different directions, the four wandering through the town. It hadn’t been more than about ten minutes before Raph learned one very important fact: there was a war going on. The exact details were harder to come by, but he did learn that the town was swollen with refugees fleeing small villages from around the countryside as a result. That’s probably why no one had bothered to look at them too closely this morning. What were four more people to the already tired town?

Besides that, the name ‘Lord Hebi’ was brought up more than once, sometimes spoken with disgust, other times with admiration. Who the _daimyo_ actually was and who and what he fought for, Raph couldn’t quite catch. Some called him a monster, others a savior. And it troubled the turtle that there were so many conflicting opinions nestled together in this one town. Such opposition usually meant that peace would not last long.

The hardest part of the day, however, wasn’t trying to listen in on people’s conversations about the war, it was more staving off the attempts made to get Raph to buy something or trade, while others begged him for food or money. As much as the turtle felt sorry for the people of the town, several truly destitute, he couldn’t give them anything. Everything he had he needed, and with not knowing how long they’d be on the planet before they found Leonardo and April made him wary to give money. Donnie had warned them not to buy anything, their money technically counterfeit and no one was keen on ruining the alien economy more than they had to.

An hour passed, then almost two, and it found Raph inspecting fruit. Pretending to actually scrutinize, he tried to eavesdrop on the women across from him. One was a pig, the other a cow. They were mostly gossiping about some woman they both knew and the turtle was getting annoyed listening fast. He was about to leave when green caught his attention. Straightening, Raphael turned but was suddenly trapped in a petrifying glare of black. Across from him, just in the next store over, was the old woman from the woods. Black eyes glittered mysteriously as she continued to stare, and all Raph could do was look back, shocked. Her wrinkled lips twisted into an unpleasant sort of smile as she slowly began to shuffle over towards him.

That sense of something powerful struck him, nearly overwhelming the ninja’s senses, forcing Raphael to tear himself out of her hypnotism, pushing his way through the crowd. Her threats of taking him into the ‘shadows’ was enough to have him hightailing it out of there. While a little embarrassing, he knew he was going to have to warn his brothers about her. Because if she really was some kind of witch, none of them needed to get mixed up with her and fall into her trap.

As he plowed through the refugees and locals alike, it was hard to keep an eye out on where he was going as well as the old woman he felt more than saw trailing him. Raph looked around, relieved and a little unnerved when he no longer saw her. But just as he was turning forward again, he ended up colliding with something. That something was pliable and ended up nearly flat on the ground after running into the big turtle. Fortunately for the passerby that Raph had collided with, his friend caught him before he ended up in the dirty streets and trampled.

Edgy and certainly not in the mood, Raphael ended up snapping. “Hey! Watch it! I’m walkin’ here!”

The person he’d run over was now standing upright, straightening his sleeves, only to pause at the rude remark. That person was a rabbit, Raphael noticed, covered in white fur, his ears tied back almost like a ponytail. His companion was a large rhino with a sawed off horn that did not seem particularly amused.

The rabbit didn’t immediately respond, shocked by the brazen comment, before he inclined his head ever so slightly in what could have been a bow. “My apologies,” he began, voice low. “A most unfortunate accident.”

“Ya need to watch where the fuck yer going!” the turtle snarled, internally screaming at himself to just shut up and go, but unable to do so. His temper was lit and the only way to appease it was to let it burn out. “What, ya couldn’t see me coming?”

The rhino snorted, a sneer of distaste clearly twisting his lips, while the rabbit hid his displeasure much better beneath strained civility. “As I said, a most unfortunate accident.”

“Whatever. Just get outta my way,” Raph growled, trying to shove past the pair, but not quite able in the narrow, crowded street. When the rabbit didn’t move, Raph glare down at him. “What, ya didn’t hear me with them big ears? Get outta my way!”

It was clear to see the rabbit weighing his options. Obviously insulted, the rodent appeared to want some kind of an apology from Raph – which was _never_ going to happen – but either deciding it wasn’t worth it or not having the time to stand and fight with a belligerent foreigner, he stood back to let the turtle pass. Not that the rabbit liked giving in, but if he got his panties in a bunch, that wasn’t Raph’s problem. Instead the turtle pushed past, loathing the rabbit much more when they knocked shoulders, before stalking off, muttering under his breath.

Behind him, the rhino’s laughter was rancorous. “What’s the matter, my friend? I thought you _liked_ kame!”

Had Raphael looked back, he might have seen the rabbit blushing under all the thick white fur. And he might have seen the way the rodent did a double take, staring at the sword strapped to the turtle’s shell. But instead, the undercover alien didn’t waste any more time. He had to get as far away from that creepy old lady as possible. Hopefully she would take those two fuckers with her to the ‘undesirables’ or whatever and leave him in peace!

Thankfully he never saw the woman again, and it was soon time to meet up with his brothers. He was the first to arrive, followed shortly by Casey and Donnie. It was a little troubling when they had to wait awhile for Mikey, but when they saw the youngest, they all collectively sagged in relief. Because Mikey alone in such a place, with so many distractions, was never a good idea. They should have thought that one through better.

“Guys! You’re never gunna –!”

“ _Ot _ō_ uto!_” Donnie snapped, eyes sharp. It was the kind of look that could shut Mikey up instantly, doing the trick now. “Not so loud,” he reprimanded in Japanese.

Realizing he’d spoken in English too loudly, the youngest’s eyes fell. “Sorry,” he muttered.

Scanning the crowd, still uncomfortable, Raph jerked his head to the side. “Come on.”

The four eventually found a spot that seemed quiet, a lot less people milling about. When they felt safe enough to speak in English and not be overheard to allow Casey in on the conversation, Mikey wasted no more time. “Guys! There’s a _war_ going on!” he whispered excitedly.

“Yeah, I know,” Raph huffed tiredly.

“We heard something similar,” Donnie confirmed. “What details did you gather?”

“Just that Lord Noriyuki,” Mikey paused, obviously making sure he was getting the name correct, “is gunna get squashed by some other guy.”

“Ain’t what I heard,” Raph frowned thinking of the gossip. “Heard some Lord Hebi was losin’ the war.”

“Interesting,” Donnie hummed. “I heard something about a Shogun rampaging through the country sides. There was something about revenge for something stolen from the palace.”

Sitting back and leaning on his hands, itching his face under the mask, Casey snorted. “Looks like we know shit,” he groused. Being the odd man out was starting to get to him. “Can we just focus on findin’ April?”

“We can’t exactly find her if we get caught up in this war,” Don snorted, rolling his eyes. “We need to avoid any type of fighting if at all possible. We can’t afford to get mixed up in this or we’ll be delayed!”

“Yeah, but we can’t get bogged down learnin’ all about this place, either,” Raph crossed his arms. He’d learned enough with the Salamandrians and their issues to know how politics could seep into any problem and poison everything around it, distracting people from the real issues at hand. And he knew his brother and his propensity to want to study whatever was around him. If they were truly going to find their missing companions, they needed to buckle down and forget everything that wasn’t strictly essential. “We gotta start lookin’ _now_. This war – this place – ain’t our problem.”

“So what are we gunna do?” Mikey frowned thoughtfully. “We just gunna go walking around with a picture of Leo and April and ask people if they’ve seen them?”

While it had been said sarcastically, it wasn’t a bad idea. At least, it was all they could do until the tracker picked up something. “No pictures. But we can ask around,” Raph shrugged.

“More than likely Leo and April won’t even be here,” Donnie countered.

“Won’t know if we don’t check. I say we get a map of the area, start askin’ around each town. After, we’ll go from there.”

“I’m with Raph,” Casey stood. “’Nough dickin’ around. Let’s search here and then move on. I don’t wanna stay here forever.”

Glancing back towards the busier streets, Raphael thought about the old woman. “We should stay here in town tonight, too.” At the others’ curious expressions, he shrugged. “With a war goin’ on and we don’t even know _where_ , it’ll be safer here. An’ it’ll be easier to get info if we stay at an inn or somethin’.”

The talk about ‘safety’ had the others staring almost worriedly at the turtle that loved a good brawl. But after the surprise, and when they realized he made a valid argument, Donnie agreed. “I guess we could. At least for the night. We really shouldn’t spend money if we don’t have to.”

“Fine by me. We’ll camp out tomorrow night, if it’ll make ya feel better,” Casey rolled his eyes. “Let’s just _go_.”

After a bit of roaming, the boys eventually found a place that was taking in refugees, and even managed to get a room to themselves. It was small and the paper walls weren’t exactly good for privacy, but it would be enough. With the payment settled, the four went back out to find a map and ask around the town before it became too dark. But while there were a lot of other animal species, mammal and reptile alike, they came to find that there was a distinct lack of turtles.

“No. No kame here,” an old dog shook his head, his floppy ears falling in his face as he stared up at Raph thoughtfully. “Never are. You three are the first I’ve seen in many, many years.” The old man frowned, eyeing Raphael more closely. “Your kind normally don’t come inland. What brings you here?”

“Merchants,” Raph lied, but from the look the old timer gave, the way he eyed the katana, the turtle knew he wasn’t believed. At least not completely. “Been away a long time. Lost a member of our group and been lookin’ for him.”

The canine nodded sagely. “Haven’t seen any others, like I said…What does this friend of yours look like?”

“Well, he’s about this tall,” Raph approximated Leo’s height using his hand to measure, vaguely wondering if the turtle had grown since he’d been away like Don and Mikey had. “His scales are jade colored, and his eyes are blue. Dark blue.”

It was pathetic how simply talking about his brother brought an unexpected wave of sorrow, making his heart ache. Trying his best to suck it up, he realized the description he was about to give might not be accurate anymore. If they were going to find Leo, they needed to be as exact as possible. And thinking back to the vision on Earth, he decided it was all he had. “He was wearing black. He…he would have had an eye injury,” he slashed down his right eye. It just then occurred to him that he had no idea how badly injured his brother had been after the attack with Armaggon. Did Leo even still have his eye?

“If I see him, I will certainly tell him you came looking,” the dog nodded, dark eyes sympathetic. “Are you going to be staying a while? Where should I direct him?”

This old man was the first truly friendly person Raph had met and he was surprised by the offer to help, especially since the town was being overrun by so many displaced outsiders. “We’re stayin’ there,” Raph pointed just down the street. “At the inn. But only for the night. We’ll be leavin’ soon…I guess if you’d see him after we’ve gone, tell him we went west.”

“May I have a name to give?”

Raphael hesitated. He didn’t need Donatello to warn him about the dangers of spreading their real names around. They were _definitely_ not Japanese or anything similar that these people might understand. Accepted as foreigners or not, such odd names would definitely draw unwanted attention. But looking into the earnest face of the old man, and not wanting Leo to brush off the dog’s claims of having a message, he decided to chance it. “Raphael. Tell him Raphael is looking for him. And that I’ll find him.”

Regret hung heavy in the air, and a certain sense of understanding passed between them. The old man bowed to the turtle. “Should I see a kame of that description, I shall tell him Raphael-san is looking for him.”

Unable to help the slight upturn of his lips, Raphael bowed low to the old man, holding the position for several seconds before straightening. “ _Doumo arigatou gozaimasu, ojiisan._ ”

“ _Nii-san_!” Mikey ran up to them a moment later, smiling widely. “We have a map. Come on!”

Unaware of the old man, the younger turtle rushed back to the others, who were standing and waiting for him. Turning back to the dog, Raphael bowed low once more, before following after his brother. While not a whole lot had been accomplished, he felt pretty good. He was at least _doing_ something rather than being stuck on a ship letting the nerds do all the work.

They were heading back towards the inn, dusk swiftly approaching, when green eyes caught a flash of white. It was the white rabbit he’d bumped into earlier, with his rhino companion. It was getting late, late enough that people were starting to think about heading towards their homes or the inns. But instead of going towards lodging, Raphael watched as the pair turned and started heading out of town, up the hill. Out of town when it would be dark soon with a war going on.

It was suspicious behavior, but then, it wasn’t like Raph really had a reason to worry about the oddness. Let them go and get themselves killed if they wanted. Wasn’t his problem. Putting it out of his mind, he followed his siblings and friend in the opposite direction, scoffing silently at himself for his worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese Notes: 
> 
> Otōuto – little brother  
> Doumo arigatou gozaimasu - Thank you very much  
> ojiisan - Old man  
> Nii-san – big brother 
> 
> (If I'm wrong, PLEASE TELL ME!! Thanks!)


	20. The Wrath of the Shogun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys learn a little more about the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!

Sitting in the inn that night, crammed in their tiny room, the four boys were careful to keep their voices lowered as much as possible, as well as keep it dark. They didn’t want Casey’s shadow reflecting more than it had to. So far they’d managed to keep the human hidden, Donnie cleverly explaining to anyone that asked that their friend had gotten a grievous injury that disfigured his face in the war. Mikey had been in stitches for hours after that, the fact that he couldn’t properly get it out of his system by laughing obnoxiously making it that much worse, as he’d randomly snicker whenever he looked at Casey.

Poor Casey was definitely having a terrible time. Silent, completely lost, the only thing the young man could do for the team at the moment was provide look out as the turtles tried their best to track Leo and April. Thus far this entire adventure had been hell for him, not having been of much use. Raph felt bad for the guy, but was glad Casey was there all the same. Especially if they ran into trouble.

They were all exhausted from the days’ worth of walking, but none of them felt sleepy. Mikey was laying on his plastron, staring at the wall in utter boredom. “Guess what I heard today,” he whispered in English.

“What?” Casey decided to humor him. He hadn’t really spoken that day and needed the conversation.

“I heard that the shogun guy is a _demon_.”

In the corner, fiddling with the tracking device in an attempt to broaden the range, Donnie snorted. “Of course he is.”

“For _real_ ,” the youngest insisted. “I talked to a lady today that said she had to flee her village because of him. I heard someone else call him the ‘ _Nozomashikunai_ ’ and that one of the _daimyo_ unleashed him from hell to fight in the war.”

“That’s just a bunch of superstitious nonsense, Mike.”

“What’s nozy-mashy-kun or whatever you said mean?” Casey frowned, interest sparking in his eyes.

“It means ‘undesirable’,” Donnie rolled his eyes. “This war’s apparently been going on for quite some time and the people are starting to make legends out of it. This is all propaganda to scare the enemy.”

As the other three debated the issue of a shapeshifting demon running an army, Raph sat quietly, unsure. The old turtle woman from before came to mind. She’d said something about shadows and ‘the undesirable.’ Had she been trying to recruit him for the Shogun? Perhaps _she_ had been the Shogun? Or was there something else he was missing? Her aura had given him the feeling that something supernatural was going on, which made Raph not so sure they should be discrediting all talk of a demon shogun. Clearly there was _something_ more than a simple feud between two _daimyo_.

“That’d be pretty wicked, though,” Casey smirked, leaning back so he was staring up at the ceiling. “Demon Generals an’ all.”

“Not here ta fight demon shogun,” Raph snapped. “We’re gunna find Leo an’ April, then get the hell off this planet.”

All fanciful talk of major boss battles ended and the room fell silent. The others knew Raphael well enough to know he was jittery, which meant that they had to watch his temper. So switching topics, Mikey stared over at his immediate older brother, who put the tracker aside to pick up something else. “Whatcha doin’, D?”

“There’s something…weird about this place,” the genius frowned. “I want to collect some data.”

“This ain’t a science fieldtrip,” Raph reminded him with a sneer.

“No,” Don agreed, “but there’s a few things not adding up. Like the fact that these buildings are more heavily structured than they should be if this world truly parallels Earth on some level, _and_ the fact that I saw them selling things that don’t exactly look…Japanese.”

“So they traded,” Raph snorted. “Big whoop.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I swear I saw someone selling _books_. Like, they look almost like modern books. And take a look at the map we have. It doesn’t look hand drawn. It’s been printed.”

“So?”

“So? People of this early time period shouldn’t be able to _do_ that. Not yet. And I’m pretty sure they’re using refined steel as supports for their houses. These people shouldn’t have the technology capable to refine steel.”

“Well, this isn’t Earth,” Casey shrugged, using the argument from earlier that day. “Maybe they’re ahead of where Earth was. We ain’t here so ya can geek out.”

The genius huffed, but turned back to his work without a word. Obviously offended that he wasn’t being taken seriously, Raph was too agitated to feel any real sympathy for the brainiac. How they made steel wouldn’t help them find their missing companions.

Eventually the four settled down for the night with no more talk of demon generals or weird technology. Raphael’s dreams were pledged with visions of Leonardo dressed in black, face gaunt, a long jagged scar over his right eye. In the dream his brother was sitting cross legged in an open field under the sun. Raph would try to speak, try to reach out for his beloved, but Leonardo remained still, eyes closed as he meditated. It took every ounce of strength the big turtle had to finally find his voice. He screamed, calling out to his lover. Blue eyes snapped open, pinning the struggling turtle in place, piercing his soul before the world crumbled away.

Gasping, Raph bolted upright. Eyes darting around, he found his brothers and Casey still sound asleep, snoring undisturbed. The big turtle shivered, turning towards the window to find that just the barest hint of light was brightening the night sky. Dawn was coming.

Shuddering, he carefully untangled himself from the blanket and stepped away from the futon. It was early, but he knew he wouldn’t get back to sleep. That dream, while nothing of consequence had happened, had been terribly vivid. Almost as though he’d really been looking at Leonardo, that the turtle had really been there in front of him. Just like that time in the clearing on Earth.

He needed some air.

Grabbing his coat, he made his way out of the room on silent feet and wandered into the street. No one was up yet, not that he could see. The air was clean and crisp, waking the turtle up further despite the town being silent. The streets weren’t crowded like the day before so Raph found himself meandering peacefully. He still felt tired, but something didn’t feel right. The air felt…thick. Stagnant. And yet there was a static energy just beneath the stillness that had his heckles raised.

Something was going to happen.

He walked the quiet streets, trying to process his dream, wondering if it had deeper meaning, if it was connected to this feeling he had, when he found himself on the edge of the town. Not at all comparable to New York, the ninja was able to cover the area in just a few hours complete, it was large for a feudalistic town, but the more he looked around, there not being people in his way, the more Raph realized that maybe Donnie had had a good point. This village…it wasn’t like the buildings in Sensei’s books. It seemed a bit more…not modern, but something.

The sun was just over the hill, officially becoming dawn. People were starting to rouse, workers getting up to start their days. It was probably time to head back to the inn so his brothers didn’t worry. But as Raphael was turning back, dread washed over him, forcing him to stop.

Turning towards the hill, Raphael felt his blood freeze when he spotted a shadowy figure at the top. The distance was too great to make out exact details, but there was no need. Because even from the great distance, the turtle could tell that figure was wearing armor. And armored figures never boded well.

He had to run. Not sure why, just knowing that if they stayed any longer they would regret it, Raphael ran as fast as he could back to the inn. Bursting inside, unconcerned if he would wake the other residences, he grabbed his brothers and friend, shaking them awake. “Get up!”

Even after a year’s hiatus, ninjitsu training had both Don and Mikey instantly awake due to the urgent tone of their brother’s voice. It was Casey who was struggling to get up. “Wha?”

“We’ve got to go. _Now_.”

Scrambling to get their packs together, Raphael nearly had everything together, his brothers beginning to move, when a long piercing call of a horn filled the early morning.

“Shit.”

“What’s that?” Mikey asked nervously.

“This place’s gunna get attacked. Come _on_!”

Now totally awake, the four scrambled out of the inn to find the town in chaos. People were waking, some screaming and rushing out of their homes in an attempt to flee. They could hear the war cries of men, the stampeding of animals coming close. Everyone was still sleepy, still confused, and in that confusion, the panic caused nothing but trouble.

The four were pushed and shoved by frightened people who had no idea what was happening. Cries of ‘the Shogun is here!’ rang out, only creating more dread.

The army had reached the town by now, bearing banners of navy and gold with what almost looked like a paw print in the middle. Samurai and other warriors flooded the streets, cutting paths cleanly through the civilians. Everyone was scrambling to find a way out, but it seemed like no matter where they went, soldiers were there to stop them.

Knowing that it would be virtually impossible to stick together in this mess, as well as fighting without drawing attention, Raph turned to the others while he still could. “Grab whatever ya can and get the fuck outta here! We’ll meet there!” he pointed to what looked like a small forest about a mile or two outside of town. “Let’s go!”

It was difficult going while there were so many terrified residents getting in the way. And with the other three apparently out of fighting practice, Raph knew he was probably their best bet. Bulldozing his way through a throng of soldiers, he did his best to clear a path for the others, only vaguely aware of how locals rushed through the opening while they could.

Of course the relatively easily identifiable enemy was soon confused when the other side began its retaliation. All of a sudden there were more soldiers rushing into the streets. Ninja, the moves gave them away. They’d been hiding in the town, which is probably what prompted the invasion. And once the other side fought back, any hope of order was lost.

Waves of terrified civilians all trying to leave ended up coming between the four aliens, and they were swept away from one another. Thankfully there was a plan and a meeting place, so Raph wasn’t worried. Instead, he fought, sai out and gleaming in the pale morning light. He was attacked by both groups, none knowing who he belonged with, but Raphael knew he wouldn’t get to explain himself, even if he wanted to. This was fight or die, and he didn’t intend to go down easily.

In a lull, a shadow from above caught his notice, and he saw Michelangelo racing across the roof tops, jumping and leaping as if he hadn’t been out of practice at all. When he disappeared around a corner, Raph felt confident that at least his youngest brother would be okay. He wasn’t that far from making it out of the town either, so he pressed on.

Eventually he escaped the fighting none the worse for wear, and was stuck in a panicked cluster of peasants. As he shoved them forward, struggling to get away, a scraggly feline bumped straight into him. The two ended up toppling over as they were jostled by others, dropping everything they carried. Scrambling up so as not to get stampeded, the turtle grabbed whatever he could get his hands on whether it was his or not. The feline was doing the same, but when he looked up at Raphael, he froze.

Hissing furiously, the cat lunged at Raph, who was a little surprised by the attack from who he’d thought was just another noncombatant. Thankfully he managed to catch the knife aimed at his skull, breaking the cat’s hand in the process. His attacker screamed, attempting to claw at him, before falling backwards. He didn’t have time for this. Raph managed to get his feet under him and grabbed what he could. He ran off, not looking back, keeping his senses open in case that fucker or any other tried to come at him again.

When he was younger, he might have felt a small twinge of remorse for having essentially looted from the fallen town, but he’d grown up a lot in the past year. In times like this, they needed supplies, anything and everything they could get their hands on. And since he could see smoking rising from behind, he knew they couldn’t come back here to restock.

The journey to the woods was not uneventful, soldiers from both sides attempting to stop him. Those baring the paw-like insignia were more hesitant to engage in battle with Raphael, while the other side came at him with weapons drawn. The turtle plowed right through them all, not stopping until he was well under the boughs of the trees. He’d run probably three miles before he slowed, and even then he remained wary. Because he could hear soldiers out scanning the wood, trying to find survivors. Knowing he had to get out of here, he managed to hit the button on his wrist tracker, before speeding off deeper into the forest.

The further he got away from the ruined town, the sound of chaos fading and his heart rate starting to slow, the more shock tried to rear its ugly head. He was experienced enough by now to be able to calm himself, to know how to adjust when the adrenaline rush crashed. He wasn’t a child anymore. He’d seen shit like this while with the Salamandrians. But for some reason this all felt so…different.

A slight sound from the left instantly snapped Raph back to his surroundings, and with his hands full, he got into a fighting stance. As a warrior, still jacked on the remanence of adrenaline, he wasn’t sure his brain would let him just run away. Not anymore. He was tired but would rather have a straight fight instead of slipping away. It wasn’t very ninja-like, but he didn’t care. Thankfully, however, the flight or fight decision was ultimately taken out of his hands when he heard a faint call. “Raph?”

Muscles easing, tension falling away, the turtle stood up straight. “Here, Mike.”

Mikey peeked out from behind a tree, motioning for him to follow. “This way.”

Readjusting the bags, Raph raced off after his brother, scanning the area as he went. In several minutes they came to the edge of the forest where Donnie and Casey waited, hidden. Before the newcomers could say a word, Casey held a finger to his mouth, silencing them, dark eyes fierce. They crouched low, shuffling the rest of the way, trying not to be seen as Don and Casey continued to watch something just outside of the woods.

It was the official army from the town – not the ninja sect – and they were rounding up the civilians that had fled. The four aliens watched silently as the soldiers began dividing the men from the women and children systematically, unsympathetic to their cries. The innocents they began marching away as samurai went down the line of remaining men, methodically looking them over. Every so often they would pull men from the line and send them in the direction that the women and children had gone, others they would bind and march north.

Two figures came riding in on tall creatures that resembled horses in that they used their six legs to run and could be sat upon. Other than that, Raph couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose at beasts, deciding that they looked like the Tardulian he’d recently fought in all the worst ways. But besides the strangeness of the elephant-like animals, what held his attention were the riders.

The first was smaller than his companion and sat atop his mount proudly, encased in samurai’s armor of blue and gold. He wore a simple helmet with the face guard up, somehow giving off the impression that the wearer was hissing. At his back were a katana and a tanto that gleamed in the sun. He was as proud and arrogant as he had any right to be.

But he was nothing compared to the man that rode with him. Taller, broader, and dressed completely in black armor, was the warrior Raphael had seen that morning on the top of the hill. _The Shogun_. He was sure of it. His _kabuto_ resembled that of the Shredder, and to complete the terrifying image, he wore the mask of a demon. The face vaguely resembled that of a primate, or at least it did to Raphael’s eyes, with a snarling face, four long fangs displayed dangerously along with horns sticking out of the forehead. The overarching color of the mask was blue, but it had red around the eyes, its tongue the same bright color.

Together the Shogun and the other samurai who had to be his second, dismounted from their beasts before the line of prisoners. Without wasting time, the pair marched towards a group of men kneeling on the ground. The Shogun did not hesitate in singling out one of the men. The ninja in the woods watched horrified as after only a brief word, in the blink of the eye, the Shogun had his katana out and sliced off the arm of the prisoner. The screams echoed throughout the clearing.

Mikey’s breath hitched as Donatello turned away. Casey remained quiet, but his eyes were wide under his mask, unable to look away. Raph watched in morbid fascination as the Shogun paused only for a moment before hacking the man’s other arm off. Next came the tail. Apparently the man said something interesting enough to have the war-lord pause for more than a few seconds. Between the screams, the mutilated man’s voice fell away in his attempts to speak.

It was apparently not what the Shogun wanted to hear. The body language from that distance told the Terrans that the lunatic was displeased, but instead of hacking off another limb, he wiped his blade across the fallen man’s shoulder. Turning to his second, with only a jerk of his head, he walked away, going down the line before pulling out another man. The second, in contrast, used his tanto to slice open the unfortunate soul’s gut before walking away, leaving him to bleed out. No one dared look at the body, even when the screaming went silent.

It was definitely one of the most gruesome displays Raphael had ever seen, but he had gotten used to seeing mutilated bodies. Glancing over at his brothers and Casey told him, however, that they had not been prepared for the brutality.

“Come on,” Raph whispered, shoving at Mikey to get him to start moving, just as the Shogun began slicing off more limbs of the next unfortunate soul.

The screams were the only things following the four as they rushed off, away from the Demon.


	21. Good Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael makes a startling discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say, seeing you guys debate and comment on this story makes me actually kind of happy. Makes me feel like I'm actually doing an okay job with this...so pressure's on me not to screw up. 
> 
> Anywho, hope you'll continue to enjoy this!

The four young men managed to slink away without drawing the attention of the army just beyond. Every so often, however, they heard screams of the unfortunate, loud and long and painful. It set their nerves on edge.

The gruesome scene had left them all sick, but Raph noted how pale the others had become. Mikey’s face was tear stained while Donnie looked like he might actually get sick. Casey was still in shock, trying to hide the slight tremor of his hands. When beaming down to this planet, stumbling into a warzone, running in to creepy witch-like old turtles, and watching the torture of enemy soldiers had never entered their minds. In all honesty, Raph had expected several rather boring weeks of following Don’s tracking device and maybe asking around for information, all the while trying not to let on that they were aliens. Something like _this_ had not been in the cards.

But if there was one thing that Raphael had learned well in his two decades of life, it was that life was a bitch that threw a mean curveball for the hell of it. If anyone was going to survive, they needed to learn that life wasn’t fair and to expect the unexpected. And as a ninja he’d learned to always land on his feet, lest he be swept away in the crushing tidal wave that was life.

As they crept away deeper and deeper into the forest, the four continued to keep themselves on high alert, never speaking. More often than the others, Raph found himself pausing to listen. There was something not right, and the others didn’t seem to hear the slight sound of…whimpering? The fifth time he heard it, he stopped, straining to listen over his own rough breathing, attempting to figure out the direction it was coming from.

“Raph?”

Casey had stopped as well, watching his friend with concern. They hadn’t had time to address it yet, but they had all received minor injuries in their attempt to escape from the town. Since he was always the berserker, he could tell his friend was worried about wounds that may not have quite caught up with him yet. Throwing the best smile he could manage at the human, he shrugged. “You guys go ahead. I need ta readjust this shit,” he nodded towards the packs in his arms.

“We’ll scout ahead,” Donnie, who had been listening in, nodded.

As the other three disappeared within the thick foliage of bamboo and brush, Raph set down what he’d managed to grab, frowning at the mess. He’d apparently been the only one able to gather more than their own meager supplies. While the others succeeded in keeping their packs through the chaos, they hadn’t gotten anything else. Which was honestly better than they could have hoped for, but was still frustrating. If they ended up staying here longer than anticipated, they’d need whatever they could get.

It was as he was about to throw down the last of the packs that Raphael heard the noise again. Startled, he realized it was…coming from the bag? Glancing around, sensing no danger and knowing his brothers were near if need be, he jumped when the whimpering turned into full-fledged crying. A baby?! Scrambling quickly, he shifted through the packs until he found the one where the crying emanated. Flipping up the flap of a musty old bag, Raph came beak to beak with a very disgruntled little face.

It was a baby turtle.

Completely flabbergasted, Raphael stupidly looked around, as if expecting to find the parents behind him just waiting for him to return their child. But there was obviously no one there. It was just he and the baby. The baby who was making a frightful amount of noise.

The big turtle carefully lifted the little one from the pack and cradled it against his plastron, trying not to panic. “Hey little guy,” he cooed, bouncing it the way he remembered seeing mothers do often enough when out on patrol. Despite being confused and completely freaked out, he worked to steady his voice along with his heart rate. “Come on now, don’t cry. Don’t got nothin’ ta cry about. Come on. Shh.”

Eyes wild, Raphael worried that the crying would draw unwanted attention. And now that there was a baby involved, he was that much more reluctant to have a run-in with any of the soldiers still lurking about. After what they’d just seen with that crazed Shogun, there was no telling how that freak would respond to finding three ninjas, an alien vigilante, and a baby lost in the woods.

But where had this little guy come from? Had someone dropped the poor little thing during the mad scramble to get out of the town? The old man the day before had said there were no turtles, not that anyone had seen for a long time. Did that mean that the unfortunate family just arrived in town? Had the parents been killed? _Captured_? Had they gotten away? Were they out looking for their child right now?

“Come on, little guy. Come on now. Shh. Yer okay. Don’t cry. Shh.”

It took a minute or so more, but eventually the sobs turning into pathetic sniffles, the little face flushed from the exertion of tears. Staring up with pouting lip, the baby beheld its savior for the first time. And as Raphael got his first true look at the baby, he knew he was done.

There were no real words to describe how he felt in that moment as he stared down into the tiny face. The baby was perfect. A perfect tiny replica of…of _them_. While Raphael had always had a soft spot for little turtles – first Spike and then Chompy – this little guy stole the show. Maybe it was because the child was like _him_ , a person and not just a pet. Maybe it was because the baby was so young, not even as long as Raph’s forearm. But whatever the reason, Raphael found himself falling head over heels for the tiny creature, heart completely melting.

“Hey there, buddy,” he crooned, making sure to rock the infant gently. “You okay? It’s okay. I’m here. Ol’ Raph ain’t gunna let nothin’ bad happen ta ya again. Okay?”

The baby was still sporting a pouting lip, watery teal colored eyes staring up at him pitifully. While he knew next to nothing about babies, Raphael did know that this one was quite young. Far too young to be left alone without care. Allowing instinct to take over, the big turtle carefully inspected the child for injury, afraid that there might be something wrong with it after the trauma of the morning. After all, it had been so quiet just before now. Was the silence due to wounds or had it simply been in shock? No way had it slept through the excitement! As he examined, he found no obvious injuries, although he did come to learn that the child was a boy.

The sound of a stick snapping nearby drew the warrior from his gentle attention. Protective instincts blazed to life, startled Raphael with its intensity. But not worrying about that, he drew the katana from his back and dropped into a ready position. While he was nowhere near Leonardo’s skill level with the blade, he was no slouch either, and with an infant, the sword would allow him some distance between he and the enemy which the sai simply could not afford. Should it be an enemy, he’d either have to do what he could to fight for their lives or he’d run for it. Preferably the latter, but with what he’d seen today, it might not be possible.

The worry ended up being for nothing as Michelangelo popped out from behind the brush, smiling as he came towards his brother. “That doesn’t look very organized to me, bro,” he teased, only to stop short.

A little self-conscious although he didn’t know why, Raph straightened himself up, clutching the baby close. While it was his brother, a part of the older ninja wanted to hide the infant away. When the younger terrapin got within several feet of his brother, blue eyes widened with his mouth hanging open comically in awe. “I-is that a…a _baby_?”

There was no prying Mikey off when he came flying over to inspect the bundle in his brother’s arm. Raph shove him away, but the spider monkey held fast, scrambling around and on top of the bigger turtle to catch a glimpse of the infant. “Fer fuck’s sake, Mike! Get _off_!”

The angry growl sent the baby sniffling again, causing both ninja to freeze, horrified for having frightened the child. Raph watched his little brother melt into a puddle of goo, his entire energetic demeanor softening. “Aww,” Mikey cooed, voice dropping down into the quietest anyone had heard in a long time. “Hi, baby.”

“Guys! I think I heard a ba…baby…” Casey came into the clearing, only to stop when he saw the turtles. “Umm…?”

“Dude!” Mikey grinned from ear to ear. “Raph had a baby!”

It looked like Casey swallowed a watermelon as he stared at his best friend. “R-really?”

Flushed from head to toe, Raphael shoved his brother away as hard as he could. “No!” he exclaimed in mortification. “Idiots.”

Of course the loud noises and jostling upset the baby, who started crying again. The sad sound made something in Raph snap, and he found himself desperate to stop the bawling. He didn’t like that the infant was scared, and he’d do anything to stop it, but he had no idea what to do. While completely irrational, he decided that this was all Mikey’s fault. The baby was quiet until he showed up! Growling, he raised his hand to slap the green off his moronic brother in retribution for the tears, when Donnie came into the clearing.

“What’s that noise?” he asked, clear trepidation in is voice as he already knew the answer.

“Donnie! Raph has a _baby_!” Casey pointed, finally walking over to check out the scene for himself.

The genius stared at the older turtle, watching as he began to bounce the child in his arms, trying like mad to get the infant to quiet. Unable to worry about the others, Raph focused all his attention on the baby, wishing he knew what he was doing. He’d honestly never thought he’d have to deal with infants until April maybe had children one day. There had never seemed to be a legitimate position where he would ever interact with one until then. There was supposed to be more time! Panic rose in his chest, and he wondered if maybe there was something wrong with the baby after all.

He nearly jumped out of his shell, nerves completely shot when a hand was placed on his shoulder. Looking up, he found Donnie hovering. “ _How_ is it that you always find baby turtles?” the lanky ninja muttered.

“Maybe you should look ‘im over,” Raph turned to his brother, not wasting time. “I didn’t see nothin’ wrong, but maybe there’s somethin’ wrong.”

As Donnie took the infant that was thrusted into his arms, Raph was suddenly reluctant to let go completely. It shouldn’t be so hard. All he had to do was drop his arms. He knew his brother had him. But it took a monumental act to finally relinquish his hold, and stepping back, he waited for Doctor Don to make his diagnosis.

Scanning over the child critically, Donnie’s frown was severe. “Where’d you find him?”

“In the packs,” Raph answered, keeping a sharp eye on what his brother was doing as he ran light fingers over the infant’s joints and skull before carefully pressing against the fragile plastron.

Donnie sighed wearily. “I don’t see anything wrong with him,” he proclaimed, the child settling against the genius’s chest. Brown eyes softened as he gazed down into the tiny face, until resignation settled heavily upon his features. “So what now? We can’t take this little guy with us.”

“The hell we can’t!” The snarl was out before Raph could think about it.

Eyeing his temperamental brother, the genius turned back to the baby, settling him gently against his shoulder. “You _know_ we can’t,” Donnie replied flatly. “I thought you were the one that didn’t want any distractions? Didn’t want anything to slow us down?”

“Yeah, well, it’s just a baby.”

“Babies aren’t exactly easy to take care of, Raphael. We can’t keep him.”

“Well we sure as hell can’t take ‘im back!” Raph snarled. “Town’s completely destroyed! And who knows what happened ta his parents. They could be dead or taken captive for all we know!”

“ _Or_ they could be out wandering around frantically, wondering what happened to their son,” Donatello snapped, keeping his voice low for the child’s sake. “Raph, this isn’t like taking in a stray pet. This. Is. A. BABY. There might be someone out there looking for him right now.”

“And what if there ain’t?”

“What if there _IS_?”

“We can’t just leave him here!”

“I never said we’d leave him here!” Donnie sighed, rubbing at his face with his free hand, before carefully handing the child back to Raphael, who tried to soothe the infant despite the fighting. “Look, we’ll just go to the next town and take him to an orphanage or see if someone will take him in.”

“We can’t do that!” it was Mikey who jumped in now, staring sympathetically at the child.

Now frustrated, Donatello glared heatedly at both his siblings. “We can’t take him with us,” he held firm. “Not only don’t we know _anything_ about taking care of a baby, we have nothing to feed him. No essentials! And let’s not forget the fact that we’re _running for our lives!_ ”

“Yeah, so how ‘bout you guys _shut it_ ,” Casey hissed, frantically grabbing the fallen bags, slinging them over his shoulders. “Just keep the kid quiet, and let’s get outta here before someone else finds us.”

Mikey was quick to help, while the older turtles continued to glare at one another a few moments more before turning to gather what was left. They didn’t say a word and instead hurried off, praying that the wails of the infant hadn’t drawn attention. As they went, the rhythmic jostling of the steady jog had the baby quieting in Raph’s arms fairly quickly, and apparently having cried himself tired, he soon fell back asleep.

As they hurried along, following the map procured from the fallen town, Raph found himself glancing down at the tiny child often to make sure he was all right. Donnie’s argument had him shaken, making him wonder about the baby’s parents. Were they still alive? The thought of this child now being completely on his own, orphaned or abandoned, twisted his heart. _He’s not alone,_ the big turtle thought fiercely. _He’s got me_. And nothing Don said would change that.

They did not run into any more soldiers along the way, and headed straight for the nearest town that they knew of. What was actually there differed from the map quite a bit and on first inspection instead of what had looked like a large town was a simple village. There couldn’t have been more than two hundred inhabitance in the whole area. And that was being generous. It appeared to be some kind of farming community, mountains in the distance but the four remained wary nonetheless, sticking to the tree line.

“So…we going?” Mikey asked, panting a little from the jog.

“I say we camp out,” Casey sneered. “Don’t wanna repeat of this mornin’.”

“Fine by me,” Donnie nodded. “We just need to take the baby –”

“I ain’t leavin’ him in some Podunk-village when there’s an army probably marchin’ this way!” Raph growled. “Same thing’s gunna happen if we ditch ‘im here.”

“Oh for the love of Darwin!” the genius sneered, losing patience. “We can’t take him with us! We know virtually nothing about children, and we have no means to care for an infant!”

“We’ll go into town, get some shit for him, and be on our way,” Raph reasoned.

“We –!”

“Enough, bros!” Mikey came between the two. “You’re gunna wake the little dude again.”

That defused much of the fight, but didn’t take away the heat. The two brothers continued to glare at one another in a silent standoff. Raph wasn’t going to back down, no matter how logical Donatello was being.

“Raph,” Casey sighed, walking over to his friend, eyeing the child as if he were a bomb. “Man, maybe Donnie’s right. I mean, we’re here ta find April and Leo. We didn’t come here ta get involved or adopt kids.”

His mouth was open to retort in an instant, but the big turtle found he had nothing to refute. They were right, and he knew it. It was rough going with only the four of them, adding in a baby was sure to be hell. But he couldn’t just leave the child. Call it intuition, call it stubborn pride even, but Raph knew that taking the baby was the right thing to do. He just knew it.

So, raising his chin in defiance, the big turtle turned and started walking towards the village. If he was going to care for the baby, he needed to get supplies for the child, and no one was going to stop him. “Come on, buddy,” he muttered under his breath. “I ain’t gunna let nothin’ happen to ya.”


	22. Iwate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys find help in a tiny village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: "What the hell is going on?!?!?"  
> Answer: A mystery ;) 
> 
> P.S. I swear Leo will show up soon. Please be patient!

It didn’t take long for the other three to come chasing after him after he stormed away, and when they did, Raphael couldn’t help but smirk. While he knew he was being an asshole, he also knew that wouldn’t stop the others from standing by him. They were more than a team, they were family. If there was anyone Raph could rely on in his life, it was his family.

Mikey came skipping up beside him, offering a brilliant smile as they entered the outskirts of the village. Several farmers stopped their work when they saw the strangers coming, eyeing the four warily, but did not appear hostile, especially when they caught sight of the infant. Instead, they turned back to their work without complaint, content with ignoring the turtles.

A young fox came running up to the travelers from seemingly nowhere, her red fur gleaming in the sun. Big hazel eyes were wide, wild with excitement as she came to a halt before them, out of breath. The four young men stared at her, surprised and unsure as she looked up at them, nearly bouncing. “Did you come from _Shizuoka_?” she asked breathlessly.

The aliens glanced at one another, unsure, before Donatello spoke up. “Yes,” he nodded slowly, having been the only one who’d taken the time to study the map.

The girl’s eyes widened impossibly bigger. “What has happened?” she pleaded. “We have seen the smoke all morning.”

“The Shogun attacked!” Mikey blurted, waving his hands around frantically, the repressed emotions of the day exploding from him.

The girl gasped, her tail poofing out in anticipation. “You must tell me more! I –”

“Ai-kun!” The young vixen cringed at the call, and the others watched as an older sheep came storming over. Obviously some authoritative figure, the ewe eyed the turtles and the masked figure with obvious distrust. “Who are you?” she asked bluntly, grabbing the fox’s arm and pulling her closer for protection.

“Just passing through,” Donnie held up his hands in an attempt to soothe.

“We need help, though,” Mikey’s smile was hesitant even as Raph scowled outright. “The baby needs food.”

At the mention of a child, the ewe turned to Raphael, her expression softening as her ears flattened slightly. The once combative stance turned into one of pity, before she turned sharp eyes down to the fox kit. The vixen shrank down, her entire demeanor conveying contrition.

With a heavy sigh, the sheep nodded. “Very well. Come.”

When the ewe’s back was turned, the fox turned a sly smile to the males, the once guilty, pleading expression wiped clean as a deviousness took its place. Motioning for them to follow, the girl skipped after the sheep, leaving the aliens to trail behind. Raph suddenly wasn’t so sure about this place anymore. While peaceful enough, he had to wonder if it was safe. After all, they were only several miles west of the ruined _Shizuoka,_ was this place going to be next? Were they being followed? Had someone seen them? Although there shouldn’t be anyone looking for them specifically. They weren’t known nor would anyone think to be looking for them. As long as no one followed them here, Raph had to assume they would be safe. So clutching the infant closer, he pushed back the paranoia – for the time being, at least.

They came to a small house at the edge of the village. The sheep directed them towards a small rounded hut that almost appeared to be made entirely out of bundled grasses and wood beams. All the homes here looked similar and were actually much closer to resembling what they had all envisioned when beaming down to the planet. Upon entering, it was a little surprising to find that the floor wasn’t all dirt, but at the entryway there was flagstone stomped down and rather smoothed like tile in a kitchen. There was a fire pit in the middle, large wooden poles holding the structure up. The hut had a surprisingly cozy feel to it, clearly lived in and warm. There were thick woven mats on the floor, large jars and what even looked to be shelving around half the perimeter. This village was clearly poor in comparison to the town they’d just run from, and the vast differences surprised Raph.

Apparently noticing their rather curious observations, the ewe turned away. “This village is rather new,” she explained, instantly going through the jars kept at one side. “It is only three generations.”

Ai was quick to set out mats for the visitors to sit upon around the fire pit, pushing Raph down first as he had the baby. The little guy was wake again, staring at everything with wide eyes. Just seeing those big teal eyes studying him, so trusting, settled the big turtle. It only firmed his resolve to keep the child safe and well taken care of.

The girl leaned on the ninja’s arm to get a better look at the baby. Raph tried to nudge her away, but the kit continued to cling to him, curiosity compelling her to invade his privacy. Both Casey and Mikey were snickering as he was surrounded by children, but the big turtle tried not to let it bother him. It wasn’t like his soft spot for small animals/children wasn’t known…he just wished it wasn’t so obvious.

But while he was trying to study the infant and attempting to push the girl away, Donnie was leaning towards their hostess. “Three generations?” he frowned. “I was under the impression from our map that this village was older, well established.”

The ewe didn’t bother coming over to look at it, or to even appear interested. “It is not.”

Donatello pulled out the map frantically. “Isn’t this _Iwate_?”

The sheep stilled in her movements, even as the vixen’s ears perked up. Walking over to the guys, the ewe handed Raphael a strange concoction of brownish sludge in what almost looked like a bottle. The end was more of a funnel, however, prompting the hothead to carefully angle the child so as not to have it spill all over or choke him. While a part of him wanted to question what this stuff actually was, he was also pretty sure he didn’t want to know. Especially when he thought he saw an antenna floating around in it.

“This is not _Iwate_. This is _Kokudo_ ,” she replied.

“But the map –”

“ _Iwate_ is down below,” Ai spoke up, her bushy tail twitching.

The adults turned to stare at her, the turtles in confusion, the ewe glaring. “Ai-kun,” she snapped.

“But Miho-san –!”

“No,” the ewe scolded before turning back to the males, dark eyes studying them intently. “You may stay to feed your little one and regain strength.” The unspoken ‘only for the night’ hung thick in the air.

Glancing between the bottle and undoubtedly hungry baby, Raph winced. It was the absolute hardest thing in the world for him to admit, but he knew that if he were going to be able to keep the child and not let Donnie convince him otherwise, he’d have to embarrass himself a little bit more. Clearing his throat to get their hostess’s attention, he tried not to flush as he admitted, “I…don’t exactly know…how to, uh…” he trailed off, holding up the bottle.

Miho stared at the turtle in surprise, before exasperated distaste took its place. Marching over to Raphael, she plucked the baby from his grip. It took everything in the turtle not to jump up and deck her for taking the child so suddenly, but he managed to sit still with only a huff. She didn’t bother to acknowledge his anger, and instead focused on the baby. Her features softened as she took in the innocent face, a tender smile lightening the usually severe features as she tutted. “He is much too small to be away from his mother,” she scolded, turning hard eyes upon Raphael. “ _You_ should have paid more attention to your mate’s instructions.”

At the mention of mates, Raphael flushed dark, Mikey laughing meanly beside him. “Yeah, _Nii-san_. I’m sure _Hekigan_ would want you to pay attention more.”

The only thing saving Michelangelo at that moment was the fact that Ai was sitting in front of Raph, and the fact that his attention was split, nervous that the sheep was holding the baby. Instead, he growled at his brother, eyes narrowed in the promise of a beating later, before he turned back to the ewe. “His mother is…gone,” he explained hesitantly. At Miho’s sharp look, the big turtle adopted a sad posture. “We don’t know what happened to her.”

Allowing her to draw her own conclusions, the older woman finally sighed, losing much of her hostility. “I am sorry to hear this,” she bowed her head deeply while bouncing the infant. “Here,” she carefully handed the boy back to Raph, before picking up the abandoned bottle. “You must feed him slowly. Like this.”

While Raphael was given a quick lesson on baby care, Ai kept conversation going. “Why doesn’t he talk?” she asked, pointing to Casey, who stiffened at suddenly being in the spotlight.

“He was in an accident,” Donnie smiled at the fox kindly. “He doesn’t speak anymore.”

The vixen cocked her head to the side, before her ears flattened in contrition at once again earning the ewe’s disapproving glare. “Sorry,” the fox bowed deeply, before being unable to contain herself. “What are your names?”

Before Donatello could come up with an appropriate reply, Michelangelo was on it. “This is Fumio,” he pointed to Donnie, who was forced to smile and gave an awkward wave, “this is Michio,” Casey nodded after receiving a cue, “this is Hideo,” he smirked at Raphael, who was torn between wanting to slap his brother upside the head or melt into the ground, “and _I’m_ Kenshin. _Yoroshiku_!”

Both Ai and Miho stared at the strange group, sensing some form of tension between them, but not understanding, bowing slightly anyway at the introduction. Not to be deterred, however, Ai offered a smile. “And the baby?”

“Taro,” Raph blurted the first name that came to mind. The child gazed at him in that moment, still sucking down the brown sludge, his face wrinkling. But if it was from not approving of the name or the taste of his dinner, the ninja wasn’t sure. Probably the sludge.

The ewe hummed, gently stroking the child’s forehead with her rough fingers. “ _Hajimemashite_. I am Miho, and this is Ai-kun.”

“An honor. And thank you so much for helping us,” Donatello decided to smooth things over in their strange encounter thus far by bowing deeply, which reminded the others that they should do likewise. “We appreciate your kindness.”

“What happened in _Shizuoka_?” Ai scrambled to get closer to Michelangelo, completely ignoring manners, as she zeroed in on her clear source for information. “You came from there, yes?”

“Yeah!” Mikey nodded. “It was…” the previous joy and teasing bled from the youngest’s expression, his smile fading. The horrors of what had actually happened catching back up with him. “It was bad.”

“The Shogun attacked the town,” Donatello supplied. “We escaped through the forest. You and the people of this village should be on guard.”

Both Ai and Miho frowned, but did not appear fearful. Instead, there was a distinct air of confusion surrounding them. “The Shogun won’t attack here,” Ai chirped. “The Shogun is good!”

While clearly not afraid of the Shogun, Miho’s expression clearly said she knew more of war than her young friend. While there were always those dubbed as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in war, the lines were often blurred, sometimes marred beyond recognition. The world was not black and white, always so full of confusing greys.

But instead of commenting on the war or even the attack, the sheep turned towards Donatello. “May I see your map?”

Excited to be getting more help, Donnie eagerly passed it over. Together the two began going over it. Apparently out of date, they were all a little surprised to find that the majority of the towns listed were incorrect or simply did not exist anymore. While rocking the baby once he was finished with his meal, carefully patting his tiny shell for a burp as he’d seen people on television do, Raph was disturbed to listen in as his brother and the ewe made corrections. Miho was also genuinely surprised to see a map ‘so finely made’.

While they spoke, Ai and Mikey chattered away back and forth. Casey was attempting to follow along, but even from just watching his eyes, Raphael could tell the human was straining for patience. He kept readjusting his seat, unused to sitting on his knees for so long. The big turtle was about ready to suggest that he go on a walk, taking the human with him with the excuse of trying to settle the baby, when the conversation between Ai and Mikey caught his interest.

“What are you all doing out this far?” the vixen questioned, her hazel eyes glancing towards Miho, as if wary of getting scolded for her blunt questions. “There isn’t a kame village anywhere close by.”

Remembering the old man in _Shizuoka_ , Raph smirked when the baby burped. “Never seen a kame?” he asked, amused when the infant started patting along his neck.

“No,” the girl denied, instantly stilling all conversation around her, the three turtles zeroing in on her. “I saw one several days ago, heading east.”

“Really?” Mikey grinned. “What’d they look like?!”

Unconsciously Raphael leaned forward, unwilling to miss a word. Was this it? Was this the clue they’d been waiting for? Had Leonardo really been through this village not long ago? Were they going in the wrong direction? Should they turn back?

Understanding that this was important, the vixen’s ears flattened in nervousness at suddenly being the center of attention. “It was an old woman,” Ai reported. Raphael could feel his heart freeze. “She came from _Iwate_.”

“Ai-kun,” Miho scolded, suddenly nervous. “Please excuse her, the girl is…eccentric. No one comes from _Iwate_.”

“She did _to_ come from _Iwate_ ,” the girl mumbled, but at the sheep’s scowl, she quieted. “Why did you wish to know? Do you know her? Is she a friend of yours?”

“No,” Raph denied quickly. It wasn’t lost on him how Donatello’s eyes narrowed at him. Shit.

“We’re looking for someone else,” Mikey smiled sadly. “They’re lost and we’ve been trying to find him. Him and our other friend.”

Ai wasn’t the only one with questions shining in her large eyes, but unlike the girl, Miho did not dare ask. Instead, the ewe stood. “I must return to work. You are welcome to stay the night if you wish. Please, take rest, Ai-kun will get you anything you might need.” And with that, she left.

The group was left in silence for all of two minutes before the vixen jumped to her feet, smiling shamelessly now that she felt she was at liberty to do so. “Want me to show you where I saw the kame woman?”

Casey was clearly itching to leave, or at least to stand as he watched the sheep and the fox get up, but the turtles hesitated. Raphael especially since he didn’t like the thought of that old hag being around. But with the way Donnie was shifting, the elder ninja knew his brother was wanting answers. “You may show us,” the genius decided for them, standing.

The human was the first to pop up, beating even Michelangelo, while Raph tried not to jostle the baby – who was behaving remarkably well in his opinion. He didn’t know much about babies, but the fact that the little guy wasn’t crying seemed like a good sign. And once they were all up, the girl rushed towards the door and back out into the sunshine of the late afternoon.

Unlike the previous town, _Kokudo_ was tiny, and it did not take them long before they crossed the entire village. As they got closer to the edge of the settlement, Raph realized that there was a steep dip in the earth. The village was situated just above a valley. It seemed like a strange place to setup a home. But as they grew closer to the drop off, the reason became clearer.

In the valley below laid a city in ruins. Large, twisted spires of rusted steel stood as silent sentries, vines and other vegetation having grown over the majority of it. There was rumble, too, scattered across the valley, carved stone desolated. For miles the destruction dominated the valley, nature slowly consuming the leftovers of what people had left behind. The sight was so ominous, so dramatic, that none of them could fault Mikey’s quiet slip of, “Dude.”

Pleased with the reaction to the devastated city, Ai waved to the aliens, walking down towards the valley. “Come on!” she called. “This way!”

The goal when beaming down to Terre 390-7 had been to track down April and Leo, grab them, and go home. It had seemed so simple. Beaming into the middle of a war, finding abandoned infants and decimated old cities had never been conceived for a planet that was still in the primitive feudal stages of its existence. They weren’t here to solve mysteries, weren’t here to learn about the culture or people. The mission was to find Leo and April and _leave_.

But as Raphael followed after the others, the vixen cheerfully leading the way, he realized that they had stumbled into something much bigger. There was more going on around them than anticipated. And while he still wished to find their lost companions as soon as possible and leave, the ninja knew that they were going to have to learn about this strange planet a little bit more if they were going to survive long enough to find the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kekigan – blue eyes  
> Nii-san – big brother  
> Yoroshiku – Please be nice to me (added to formal introductions…or so I’ve been told...)  
> Hajimemashite – nice to meet you (lit. let’s begin a friendship)  
> Shizuoka – silent hill  
> Kokudo – dark soil  
> Iwate – rock hand
> 
> (Again, if any of the Japanese is wrong, PLEASE TELL ME!! Thank you~)


	23. Trail Uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys pick up the trail of April.

The ruins of _Iwate_ were probably the creepiest thing they’d come across in a long time. Despite the wild growth of vegetation around the remains of the old city, it was clear to see that it had once been a thriving metropolis. Glancing over at Donnie, it was easy to tell the genius was itching to understand what had happened here.

They were nearly halfway down when Ai stopped. Following suit, the turtles and Casey waited expectantly. “There,” she pointed to what looked as though it might have been a street. “That’s where I saw her. The other kame. She came right up from there and went that way,” she pointed back up the hill.

Raph had a feeling he knew exactly where she’d gone after that – to the clearing above _Shizuoka_. There was now no doubt in his mind that she was definitely a person to be avoided if all possible. Again, he knew he’d have to warn the others about her. If she was as dangerous as he feared, it couldn’t wait anymore.

“What’s down there?” Mikey asked, eyes glued to the desolation.

“I don’t know!” Ai shook her head. “No one goes down there. It’s haunted. Miho-san said her grandmother saw strange flashes of light and heard loud rumbling that shook the earth once that came from the city. Miho-san said spirits still dwell here. This is the closest I’ve ever been,” she admitted.

Turning towards the vixen, Raphael was reluctant, but carefully handed the infant over to the girl. She perked up in delight at being able to hold the child, but the excitement was tempered as she stared up at Raph questioningly.

“You watch out for him. Go back to Miho-san’s home. We’ll be back soon.”

Both Casey and Donatello brightened, realizing they were going to get to explore the ruins, while Mikey was unsure. As far as Raph knew, the youngest still slept with a nightlight and freaked out over ghost stories. This place would definitely scare him, but something told Raph they needed to get more answers. A quick look around wouldn’t hurt, and it would afford them the privacy they needed to be able to speak to Casey and come up with a plan. Maybe if they knew a little more, it would aid in their search, too.

The expression on Ai’s face, however, crumbled, and she glared at Raphael furiously. “You can’t go down there!” she stomped her paw for emphasis. “You can’t leave!”

Unsure why the girl had lost her temper, Raph frowned. “We’ll be back soon. Just watch him.”

Tail swishing anxiously, the girl stared down at the baby before back up at the turtle. Pouting, she turned to walk back up the hill. But not before Raphael heard her mutter under her breath, “That’s what _chichi_ said.”

Before Raph could call after her, Donnie was already hollering to him. Casey was a good ten feet farther down. Sighing, the big turtle grabbed Mikey, and together the four rushed down, coming to stand in what almost looked like a four lane intersection.

“Dudes, I’m _freakin’ out_!” Mikey clung onto his big brother’s arm.

Casey flipped up his mask, smiling so wide they could count all of his teeth. “ _Sick_!” he stared every which way, as if afraid to miss something. “The hell _is_ this?”

Having been the only one to bring his pack, Donnie pulled out several instruments he’d been able to smuggle down, giving a quick scan around the area. “A ruined city…But look at it! It’s so advanced! Far beyond what these people should have been able to achieve.”

“So whadya think happened?” Raph asked, prying Mikey off his arm.

“Isn’t it obvious?” the youngest moaned. “There was some kinda apocalypse and this is all that’s left!”

Donnie opened his mouth to refute, only to pause, snapping it shut. “Actually…” he looked around, and then back at the small scanner. “I’m not sure what to think. This just…doesn’t make any sense.”

The four walked further into the ruins, attempting to avoid the debris and thick briars that had grown through the stone and concrete streets. It was creepy. It really did look like something out of one of Mikey’s post-apocalyptic comics. It was all but silent, only faint sounds of animals subtly filling the space.

“I swear if a zombie pops out, I’m gunna lose it,” Casey muttered, but his manic grin told them all that he was itching for a fight.

A sudden long, loud _BEEP_! had the four boys nearly jumping out of their skins. Mikey let out a squeal, nearly flying into Casey’s arms, causing the human to stumble backwards, while Raph pulled out his sai and dropped into a fighting stance. Donatello was the only one that seemed to know what was going on, and with an apologetic smile to the others, he pulled out the tracking device he’d been tinkering with the night before.

Brown eyes widened in shock, before a grin split his face. “I’ve got something!”

“What is it?” Casey shoved Mikey away to hover over the genius’s shoulder. “You find April?”

“Yes!” he cried jubilantly, only to sober slightly. “I mean, it’s picked up her bio-sign.”

“Where is she?!”

Turning, trying to pinpoint the exact location, Donatello eventually turned back the way they had come. “She’s…wow. She’s north-east of here. And it looks like she’s around sixty miles away.”

“Sixty miles!” Mikey whined. “That’s _forever_ away!”

“How long would it take us to get there?” Casey asked, determination blazing in his dark eyes.

“Well, the average person can cover about thirty miles in a day if they’re willing to walk about seven hours in that day at a consistent speed of around four miles an hour – but that doesn’t include all the breaks and stopping for –”

“Whatever, let’s just go!” the human flipped down his mask. “We get started now, we’ll get there in, like, two days.”

“ _If_ we don’t run into anymore trouble,” Donatello pointed out. “Which I’m sure isn’t going to happen.”

“Speakin’ a trouble,” Raph growled. “That old lady Ai was goin’ on about, th’ old turtle…I seen her before. Twice. I think we need ta watch out for her. She’s…there’s somethin’…off about her.”

“Off?” Donnie frowned. “Off, how?”

“I dunno. Somethin’…ya know that feelin’ when we were on that spirit quest and we were about ta get attacked?” Raph tried to explain, but found words once against failing him. “It was kinda like that.”

While his brothers frowned in thought, Casey scowled. “Since when’re _you_ all spiritual, Raph?” the human snorted. “Yer just bein’ paranoid.”

“ _You_ don’t know nothin’!” Raph retorted hotly. “I’m tellin’ ya, there’s somethin’ weird goin’ on here, and I think we need ta watch out. Apparently we know absolute shit about this place.”

“More caution couldn’t hurt,” Donnie agreed.

“Do you think that the Shogun destroyed this place, too?” Mikey squeaked, eyes darting around fearfully.

“I doubt it,” Donatello snorted, turning the majority of his attention back to the tracker as they began walking back the way they’d come. “This city was destroyed a _long_ time ago. No way that Shogun could’ve been alive when this happened. And besides, when Miho-san’s grandmother was alive, this place was long ago ruined. Just as an approximation, I’d say this place has been like this for over three hundred years. Possibly older. Without more equipment, it’s difficult to be accurate.”

“Good,” Mikey nodded, sticking close to the others. “At least if there _were_ zombies, they’d’ve, like, decomposed completely by now, right? You said that before, right Donnie?”

Sighing, the genius nodded. “Yes, Mikey. If left to out in the open air in such a climate, it would probably only take the flesh a few months before being completely decomposed. Although the bones would take longer. Around fifty years or so.”

“Ugh,” Raph rolled his eyes. Leave it to his brothers to nerd-out about zombies at a time like this.

They were just starting up the hill, back towards the village, when Casey flipped his mask back down. The device in Donnie’s hand was still beeping when it suddenly stopped. When it did, the genius stopped too, frowning.

“What’s the matter?” Casey groaned. “Don’t tell me it’s busted.”

“No, it’s working, it just…lost the signal.” The lanky ninja walked back towards the city, and the beeping began once more. “Fascinating. There must be something in the ruins that amplified the signal. I was wondering how it could detect April at such a great distance. I’d managed to boast it to about thirty-five, forty miles max before, but sixty was completely unexpected.”

“Then write down the signal, and we’ll track the old fashioned way before we get in range again,” Raph snapped. “Now let’s get goin’. Sun’ll be settin’ soon.”

After waiting for the genius to jot down the directions as accurately as possible, the four made it back up into the village at dusk. They quickly found Miho’s modest dwelling, and cautiously made their way inside. As they entered, Raph found Ai laying on her stomach in front of the baby, who was on his plastron. The sight of the infant wiggling around melted the big turtle’s heart, and he was quick to lumber in the rest of the way, heading straight for the children.

“You’re back!” Ai exclaimed, sitting up as Raph sat down.

“Of course,” he nodded before grinning openly at the baby. “What’re you doing, little man?” he asked the baby, gently patting his shell with a finger. The infant made a chirping sound, before attempting to push himself up. The tiny limbs were shaky, and he couldn’t quite achieve his goals, but it made for an adorable sight. Raphael didn’t notice the tender expression he’d adopted.

Miho was busily preparing dinner, which Mikey offered to help with. The sheep seemed surprised, eyeing the turtle strangely, before accepting the generous offer. But only after Mikey kept insisting. The other two went to sit, Donnie comfortable enough to pull out a bit of paper that Ai seemed curious about to write things down, while Casey sat back with a sigh. It would be a long night of boredom for him.

When the baby became frustrated that his attempts to move were thwarted, Raph picked him up and helped him into a seated position. Still a bit wobbly, the tiny turtle managed to sit up on his own for a bit before falling backwards into Raphael’s awaiting hand. Helping him up again, the brutish turtle couldn’t help muttering quiet encouragement to him.

Ai was also trying to entertain the child by cooing and making silly noises at him. But after looking over her shoulder a few times, the vixen whispered to Raphael. “What did you find down there?”

Her eyes were so wide it was comical. Snorting, the turtle shook his head. “Sorry, kid. Just a bunch of broken buildings.”

The fox huffed. “That’s not exciting,” she muttered, before jumping up and rushing over to Miho and Mikey to help them with dinner.

Scooting closer to his friend, Casey stared down at the baby before looking back at the large turtle. “He is kinda cute,” he admitted softly. “You gunna name him, er what?”

This child more than likely already had a name, had a family out there somewhere. While he hated to admit it, Donnie had been right. Taking care of this little guy was more than taking care of a pet. There was a lot more to do, a lot more to worry about. But he was up for the challenge. And before they found the child’s true family – if they ever did – Raph was determined to be the boy’s family. “I guess I sorta named him Taro,” he explained, realizing Casey hadn’t understood the exchange from earlier. “That’s good enough for now.”

The two were surprised when Miho appeared behind them, holding that strange bottle thing out to Raph, who still felt a little sick looking at it. “He must eat,” she handed it over, watching critically as the big turtle picked up the baby and tried to feed him as he’d been taught earlier that day. After a moment, the ewe nodded. “You are a good father,” she complimented, startling the warrior.

As Mikey fangirled behind the sheep and Donnie glanced up at him with a smirk, Raph tried not the blush. “Uh…thanks.”

Soon enough dinner was served, a thick soup with what looked like vegetables, some rice, and even a bit of meat. Miho had gone all out to provide for them, and the brothers understood what she’d probably had to sacrifice in order to feed them this well. It smelled wonderful, and while starving, Raph knew he was going to have to wait until the child was finished eating. Miho offered to care for the baby so the turtle could eat, but he refused. She deserved to enjoy the fruits of her labor, and with Donnie watching him closely, the big turtle knew he was being tested. If the baby was going to stay with him, he was going to have to prove himself as main caretaker.

After the initial compliments of the dinner, Casey awkwardly trying to eat while keeping his mask somewhat up, conversation eventually turned towards the infant snuggled down in between Raph’s crossed legs once the boy had been fed and the ninja turned towards feeding himself. Like that afternoon, Miho was helpful in providing more information about caring for an infant. She was surprisingly knowledgeable since ‘Taro’ was a reptile and they had not seen any in this village. But glancing down at Ai, who kept trying to sneak peaks under Casey’s mask, he decided that Miho knew much more than she let on. Especially if she was raising a fox kit on her own after Ai’s father apparently never came back.

When the secret of the brown sludge was revealed, it took every ounce of courage the big turtle had not to start freaking out. Because of _course_ it mainly consisted of bugs. Centipedes and roaches and everything that was vile and unholy. There was a moment where Miho was describing the preparation process where Raph thought he’d get sick, but managed to swallow the soup down a second time. Mikey was thoroughly enjoying watching his big brother’s face, while Don couldn’t keep the falsely pleasant smile off his face. On the inside, he must have been as amused as Mikey was.

Bored with the conversation after a while, Ai turned towards Raph. “Did you ever see the Shogun?”

All conversation momentarily froze as the adults stared down at the vixen. “Ai-kun,” Miho admonished.

“It’s all right,” Donnie assured the distressed sheep. Turning towards the girl, he smiled. “We saw him from a distance.”

“He was dressed all in black, wasn’t he?” she asked excitedly. “The Black Warrior!”

“Yeah,” Mikey nodded warily. “How’d you know? You guys haven’t seen him, have you?”

“No,” Ai rolled her eyes. “But my father did. He said that the Black Warrior was the greatest fighter in all Japan! That he would win the war for Lord Noriyuki!”

Raph shared a look with Donnie, who turned to Miho. “I know we must sound ignorant, but we’re not from around here. Can you tell us a little more about this war? From what we’ve seen it appears to be a little…violent for a feud between _daimyo._ ”

If they hadn’t come across as strange before, they definitely did now. The ewe did not appear to believe them at first, as if not understanding how anyone could _not_ know about the war, before bowing her head slightly. “This is not a simple struggle between _daimyo_. This is a war of succession. They fight for the Emperor’s throne.”

“And Lord Noriyuki will win!” Ai beamed.

“That is enough, Ai-kun,” Miho hastily stood and cleared the finished bowls away. “No more talk of war. We must get ready for sleep.”

The kit scrunched up her snout in distaste, but at the ewe’s hard look, the girl was up and grabbing their bed rolls. It was going to be a tight fit in the tiny house, especially since the males were much taller and broader than most of the inhabitance of the village. Their healthier diets having ensured that they’d grown large. None of them could even stand upright in the hut save Mikey, without scraping their heads on something.

Eventually Donnie suggested that they go camp out somewhere close by. Horrified, Miho insisted upon being a good hostess and have them stay in the hut. But seeing as there was simply not enough room, and they knew Casey would be more comfortable sleeping without his mask, they eventually agreed upon three sleeping outside the house. Raph would sleep inside with the baby seeing as he was ‘the father.’

When everything was finally settled, Raph sat up with Miho, Ai curled up on her sleeping mat, tail wrapped around herself as a secondary blanket. The baby, Raph found difficult to let go of, so afraid he’d get too cold, but also afraid of him getting too close to the fire. Miho managed to make a little nest for him, having to reassure the turtle over and over again that he would be fine.

So as the children slept, the adults sat awake a little longer. “He is a good baby,” Miho remarked, carefully stroking the boy’s head. “Very quiet.”

“Yeah,” Raph nodded, but couldn’t help but worry. “That a bad sign?”

“He seems quite healthy,” the sheep was quick to douse the concern. “I believe he will simply grow into a quiet child.”

For all their sakes, Raph hoped she was right. A fussy baby on a journey such as theirs would not go over well. Staring into the fire, the turtle found himself relaxing, mind wandering. He knew he’d only been on this planet around forty-eight hours, but in that time so much had happened. So much could _still_ happen as they were three or more days from April’s location. Which meant that it would be three or more days until he found Leo.

“Are you leaving in the morning?”

“Yes,” Raph nodded, not looking away from the fire.

“Please be careful.” Dark eyes were filled with true concern as she stared at the baby.

“What do you really know of the Shogun?” Raph asked. The mystery surround the warlord was unsettling. “Why is he called _Nozomashikunai_?”

It was obvious that Miho was a hard working woman that had carved out her life here on her own. If she’d had a husband or family, they’d long since gone. She was a lone now, raising a child clearly not her own and was willing to help odd strangers while there was a war going on. While a bit rough, not one to adhere strictly to social niceties, Raph didn’t blame her. This was a scary world, and as a woman living alone, raising a child alone, she had to be tough. She was trying to survive in a world seemingly intent to snuff out her existence. He could not fault her for wariness and fear of speaking of the warring powers.

“Not much is known of the Shogun before he was appointed,” she began quietly, taking to stroking Ai’s soft fur. “One moment Lord Hebi’s forces were pressing, winning the war, the next, the Shogun appeared, pushing back. From what I know, it was the Shogun who named himself. Perhaps to be an ill-omen upon his enemies.

“He has done much good, has protected the Imperial Palace and the rightful heir of the former emperor. But do not be fooled into thinking he is not dangerous,” Miho warned darkly. “While certainly Hebi _Daimyo_ is a treacherous snake, I would not place all of my trust in the Shogun. Too little is known of him. The samurai are utterly loyal to him, and him alone.”

She didn’t need to elaborate. Raphael knew what power was capable of doing to people. Even good people with good causes.

“We’ll stick to off road,” he promised.

The sheep nodded, before settling down beside her charge, pulling the covers up around the vixen’s neck more snugly. “I wish you safety on your travels. And I hope you find who you’re looking for.” She looked down at the baby. “For his sake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might have noticed I'm using the names of real places in Japan...that's only because I like their literal translations. The landscape in this universe differs from that of actual Japan. Just in case anyone was confused on that front.


	24. On the Road Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys begin their journey towards April's signal.

The next morning saw to it that the boys were all energized and rearing to go. They woke early, rising with the sun, and after feeding the baby, they were off. Miho warned them once more to be wary on their journey, while Ai was sorry to see them go. The vixen offered a kiss to the baby, and a warning look to Raph, before standing with the ewe as the turtles and Casey went on their way. The pair was certainly odd, but Raph decided that he kind of liked them. Couldn’t hate them, at least, after all they’d done. He wondered how long it would take Miho to find the money he’d left behind for her as payment for any grief they’d inflicted.

As soon as they were far enough from the village, Casey pushed down his hood and pulled up his mask. “Aw man!” he sighed, stretching his arms over head. “It feels so _good_ ta get outta that thing!”

“I bet!” Mikey agreed, smiling sunnily at the human. “And now you can air it out so you don’t stink so much!”

Growling, Casey made to grab the youngest ninja, but was evaded. Laughing, Mikey took off at a sprint, the vigilante hot on his heels. Donnie, looking dead on his feet, sneered at them. “You really shouldn’t waste so much energy if we’re walking all day,” he called out, but was ignored. “Idiots.”

“Eh, let ‘em get it outta their system,” Raph shrugged, checking on the infant in the make-shift sling he’d fashioned. It went across his chest, and while he was keenly aware that it probably made them all look like some bad parody of _The Hangover_ , he was just happy he had the use of both hands if need be. “They’ve been cooped up too long.”

“Yes, but when they crash later and whine about being tired, I’m not going to deal with them,” the genius snapped.

Raph made sure there was a little more space between him and his immediate younger brother. If only there was coffee on this planet. Not only would it make the genius a little more civil in the mornings, but Raphael cringed at the thought of his brother going through caffeine withdrawals. He’d leave Mikey to deal with that.

When the more energetic pair came back, Mikey still grinning like a fool, Casey trying to hide his smile, the four continued at a more even pace, Donnie lecturing them about the need to conserve energy. Especially since they didn’t exactly have a ton of food with them that they could afford to snack on. Of course Casey only rolled his eyes, too happy to not have to hide his form and being able to speak whenever he wanted to care about practicality.

“So tell me what all I missed,” he demanded once there was a lull. “I ain’t understood a _word_ so far.”

Before Mikey could make up anything, Raph held up a hand. “I talked ta Miho-san last night. While I think that village sympathizes with that Lord Noriyuki guy, she didn’t seem so keen on the Shogun.”

“ _Really_? Wonder why?” Mikey snorted.

“I mean it,” Raph snapped, the seriousness of the situation making him temperamental. “I ain’t sure what that guy’s issue is, but from what Miho said, he ain’t exactly _bad_ , but he might be lookin’ ta advance himself usin’ this war. ‘Specially since the emperor’s outta the picture.”

“Of course he is,” Donatello rolled his eyes. “He’s a _shogun_. As long as there’s a war going on, he’s the absolute power. Even the _daimyo_ has to adhere to what he says.”

“And people just expect him ta step aside after the war?” Casey frowned. “I mean, I thought he was workin’ for that Nuki-yuki guy.”

“He might have been commissioned by Lord Noriyuki, but if this Shogun is ambitious, he could potentially make a power-play once the war is won. Especially if he has the loyalty of the army.”

“He has the samurai,” Raph nodded. “Or at least that’s what Miho-san said. That’s why she don’t trust ‘im. That, and because no one knows shit ‘bout him.”

“We know he’s a fuckin’ psycho that likes ta cut people up,” Casey offered.

“And he’s the dreaded _Black Warrior_ ~” Mikey wiggled his fingers ominously. “ _Nozomashikunai_!”

“This is serious,” Donnie sneered at the other two. “We need to stay out of the way of the Shogun and the _daimyo_ and then we should be fine.”

“Okay, so no Shogun, no creepy old turtle lady, no _daimyo._ Got it!” the youngest grinned. “Anyone else we should add to the list?”

“I’m sure we’ll find more,” Casey smirked, happily twirling the bo staff he’d adopted as a weapon here since a baseball bat and hockey stick would have surely drawn too much attention.

As the four marched along, all nervous and itching to find their missing comrades, Raphael for the first time in his life, wished he had a horse. Or one of those weird elephant-like creatures that passed as horses here. While not a fan of the large beasts, knowing how powerful and dangerous they could be, anything that could get him to where was going faster would be welcomed.

The cheerfulness of the group predictably died away around hour two, as the New Yorkers came to realize just what walking miles and miles meant. As Donatello foresaw, Casey and Mikey soon started whining about it taking too long, wondering if there was anything that could make them go faster. With no coffee it meant that Don’s fuse was just about as short as Raph’s, and the two older turtles quickly squashed any more whining with thunderous glares and bodily threats.

While he honestly didn’t appreciate chatter, Raph knew he was going to have to tolerate it as it kept the others occupied. Eventually talk turned to the mystery of _Iwate_. Since speculation was cut short the day before, Michelangelo wasted no time in spouting out new theories.

“Think about it, bros,” Mikey walked backwards in front of them, eyes wide. “It all makes sense! Something real bad happened, and it was, like, their end of the world! Only it _wasn’t_. They’re rebuilding society after a global apocalypse!”

“But what caused the apocalypse?” Casey frowned, buying into the argument. “Like, there ain’t no zombies an’ no one’s running around with guns or nothin’ so it couldn’t’ve been a’ nuke or nothin’…right? I mean, this ain’t like _Mad Max_ , we ain’t seen no cars or tech.”

“I dunno dude, but just _think_ about it.” It was hard not to be compelled with the look the youngest turtle was giving. He could be very convincing when he wanted to be. “What _else_ could it be?”

“Aliens?” Casey offered.

Speculation lasted for a few more hours before the group stopped, the baby demanding to be set free of his sling prison. It was well into the morning by now and the group decided to stop for an hour or so to rest and grab something to eat themselves. The sun was out, warming the turtles. It was both soothing and energizing. But for Casey, it was becoming uncomfortable. It was already around seventy degrees. And with the way the sun was beating down on them, it was likely to only get hotter.

Raph fed the baby, who sucked down his bug-sludge greedily, grunting softly as he stared up at Raph with big trusting eyes. The brute smiled at the infant, quietly talking to him, hoping the others didn’t hear. Mikey came near, beaming down at the baby.

“You’re not really gunna call him ‘Taro’ are you?”

“What’s wrong with ‘Taro’?” Raph asked defensively.

“Doesn’t look like a ‘Taro,’ dude.”

Grunting, Raph scowled. “Well, whadya think he looks like, All Mighty Name Generator?”

The cool smile Mikey gave instantly had the elder brother regretting he’d asked. “Glad you asked, bro. Glad you asked. Let ol’ Dr. Name-n-stein think up a good one!”

Unsurprisingly Mikey began hopped around, trying to get a good look at the infant in Raph’s arms, studying the child from every possible angle. When the hyper turtle paused, Raph raised an eye ridge. “Well?”

For once Michelangelo didn’t immediately blurt out anything. Instead the playfulness was tempered as he frowned thoughtfully at the child. “Actually…he kinda looks like a mini- _you_.”

Raph blinked in surprise, while Donnie snorted. “I thought you _liked_ the baby, Mike. No need to insult the poor little guy.”

“Shut up!” Raph snapped.

“I’m serious,” Mikey didn’t even chuckle at Donatello’s joke. “It kinda freaks me out.”

“He don’t look like me,” Raph denied, although he had to admit, at least to himself, that the idea that this child could look anything like him was a pleasant thought.

“He’s just a baby, Mike,” Casey waved off, laying flat on his back in the grass. “All babies look alike when they’re that little. Never really look like anyone.”

Curious, ignoring the others, Raph began examining the baby closer as well. “How old d’ya think he is, anyway?”

Now drawn into the conversation, Donnie leaned closer, staring at the child. “Well, considering none of us knows how infant turtles age, it’s hard to say. But comparing his motor skills and size to that of human children, I’d say he can’t be more than six months old…Or around there.”

“Aww!” Mikey petted the infant’s head, who stared up at the other turtle inquisitively. “He’s just a bitty-baby, isn’t he? Let’s call him Buddy!”

“He’s not a pet, Mikey,” Donnie rolled his eyes. “Or an elf. And besides, what we _really_ need to start thinking about is how to find his family. Or where we can take him that’s safe so his family can find him.”

“Why you gotta be a downer, D?” Mikey mumbled, before making faces at the baby, who remained stoic.

“Because someone has to keep everyone grounded in reality while Leo’s not here,” he snapped. “Once we find Leo, he’ll say the same thing. We can’t act like we’re going to keep this child. We don’t have the same culture – we’re not even from the same planet!”

“Whadya know what Leo’d say?” Raph muttered under his breath, refusing to believe that his immediate younger brother had a point. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Leo would be hesitant to take on a child, especially one from another world. But while Raph was the obvious softy of the group, Leo could be just as guilty.

Before Donatello answered, Raph stood and started walking again. It was time to get moving. There was still plenty of ground to cover, and they hadn’t reached fifteen miles yet. The others were quick to get up and grab their stuff. When ‘Buddy’ was finished eating, Raph put the infant over his shoulder and began patting his shell, hoping he wouldn’t spit up. He’d spit up once already, and Raph wasn’t sure he could handle whipping away anymore pre-chewed bug juice. _Disgusting_.

For a little while they were all silent, probably to let Raph work through his irritation, but he didn’t mind. Instead he let his mind wander as Mikey started humming. The whole issue of the child left him agitated. It was wrong of him to feel this way, but Raph hoped that the boy didn’t have a family. Despite Donatello’s reasoning and logic, Raph wanted to keep the baby. Even if he was stuck making bug-sludge until the baby graduated to more solid foods. In the back of his mind, Raphael wondered if when he found Leonardo, if he couldn’t talk the leader into adopting the boy with him. They could have their own little family. Could having a child to care for motivate Leonardo into giving him another shot? The promise of having a family?

Just imagining Leo holding this little guy was the most beautiful picture. After seeing Leonardo holding baby Miwa when they’d time traveled as teenagers, he could just imagine how tenderly the turtle would look at this little one. While Leo had never admitted it directly, Raph knew his elder brother wanted his own family, to have children.

Hearing a tiny belch had Raph smiling, as be moved Buddy from off his shoulder to cradle in his arms. He was a little surprised but absolutely delighted when he received his first smile in return. The little guy was smiling at _him_!

A giddiness he’d never felt before coursed through the big turtle, and he found himself beaming down at the baby. Buddy had yet to actually smile at any of them, but now that he was, Raph was determined to make the kid smile all the time. The mostly gum grin was adorable and sweet and…and looked quite a bit like…Leo?

 _Get it together, man_ , he told himself sternly. He was really getting desperate, seeing his elder brother everywhere.

“Soooo…” Raph groaned when Mikey decided he was bored with the peace. “What’s the _first_ thing you’re gunna do when you see Leo again, Raphie~?”

Flushing slightly, the older brother tried to hide it by putting the baby back in the sling, upright this time so he could look out and see the world around him. “Ya mean after I pummel him for gettin’ hopelessly lost?”

“You won’t pummel him! Unless it’s with _loooove_ ~”

Casey began cackling obnoxiously. “Yeah, right!”

The topic of conversation was getting out of control, but before Raph could intervene, save the one secret he was keeping from his best friend, Mikey went ahead and bulldozed through. “You gunna kiss him silly?” He even made kissy noises as he batted his eyelashes.

“Please,” Don scrunched up his snout, even as Casey continued to howl. “If you do, at least keep it PG. The rest of us _really_ don’t want to see it.”

At that point Casey’s cackle lost momentum and he began looking between the turtles with no small amount of confusion. Eventually his laugh trailed off, and he frowned at them. “Umm…heh, you guys are actually makin’ this sound like Raph’s got the hots for Leo er somethin’…”

“Fer fuck’s sake,” Raph groaned, completely mortified.

“Wait…you didn’t tell Casey?” Mikey asked too late, both he and Donnie actually staring worriedly at their older brother. “Dude, I thought you –?”

“No. Whatever,” the hothead snapped, before deciding to use the Band-Aid method and get it over quickly. Turning to Casey, he looked him straight in the eye as he admitted, “I’m in love with Leonardo. Ya got a problem with that? _Deal with it_. I don’t wanna hear it.”

The human had never looked so completely gob smacked. Dark eyes were blown wide, his jaw scraping the ground. For several minutes he didn’t say a word, just stood frozen, gawking at his best friend completely flabbergasted. “WHA?!” he exclaimed. “Dude, is this a joke?”

“No, it ain’t,” Raph snarled, internally horrified at the thought of losing his best friend.

Blinking rapidly, short circuiting, eventually Casey started walking again, frowning in thought. The younger turtles trailed behind guiltily as Raph stomped forward. Not exactly the way he’d wanted to come out to his friend, but then again, maybe it was better this way. He hadn’t wanted to do it at all, so maybe the slip was for the best.

They had walked for ten minutes before the human looked at his friend again. “Why Leo?”

Stopping short, Raph bristled. “What?”

“Why _Leo_?” Casey repeated, still frowning. “I mean, ya always bitched about ‘im when we were alone. Why Leo?”

Confused that this was the main focus, Raph shrugged. “I dunno. It just is.”

The two continued to have a stare-off before Casey looked away, thoughtful. “Huh…In this scenario I woulda thought it’d be, like, Mikey or somethin’.”

“DUDE! GROSS!” the youngest cried, glaring at the human.

“Wait,” Donatello held up his hands, even as Raph felt too relieved to be insulted at the moment. “You’ve – you’ve _thought_ about this before? Us hooking up?!”

Clearly not understanding the turtles’ reactions, Casey shrugged a shoulder. “Haven’t _thought_ ‘bout it, but, I mean, you guys are like the only mutant turtles there are…except Slash. But I mean, it’s not like yer really related, right? Weirder shit’s happened, ya know?”

“You mean like you being okay with the fact that our older brothers are a thing, then yes,” Donnie quipped, but continued to study the human curiously. “This honestly doesn’t bother you?”

“I dunno,” the hockey player shrugged again. “I mean, I guess I can kinda see it. Now that I think about it, you were always _way_ too obsessed with Leo.” He smirked at Raphael. “I’m actually more surprised with Leo, ta be honest. Always thought he had the sexuality of a _rock_.”

“Wait,” Raph snapped. “Ya mean you could see _me_ as bein’ gay, but not Leo?”

“Oh man, you’re right!” Mikey laughed, slapping Casey on the shoulder. “You shoulda seen him when we first met Miwa when she was Karai! Leo had this crush on her and Raph –”

“OKAY. ENOUGH.”

Both Casey and Mikey continued to laugh, infuriating the big turtle, but before he could pummel them into the ground, Donnie’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. “Ah-ah,” he tutted. “Think of the baby.”

That little statement had the other two laughing all the harder. “Just wait til yer asleep,” Raph threatened, but to no avail.

Smiling pleasantly, guiding him along as the laughing hyenas followed, Donnie patted his older brother’s arm. “Just be glad they’re taking it so well.”

“Whateva.”

The teasing lasted a few miles, much to Raph’s outrage, but all hilarity of ‘Mama Raph’ soon died away when they came upon a desolate scene. They sobered at the sight of a destroyed village, huts and grain storage buildings not dissimilar from those of _Kokudo_ all burnt to the ground. The damage had been done some time ago. As they got closer, Raph would guess around three weeks. The ash was blown around the fields, coating the grassland beyond, and what was left of the wreckage was unsalvageable. If anyone had lost their lives here, they had been properly disposed of. There were no bodies.

As they walked around the ghost village, they found several banners standing on the outskirts. The first _nobori_ was one they had come to associate with Lord Noriyuki, navy with the golden paw-like symbol at the top. There was a second, white, and it bore an ominous message: “ _Enemies of the true Emperor beware_.” But it was the third that held their attention. It was black, the name of ‘ _Nozomashikunai_ ’ scrawled down in bold white characters. As they neared the flags, Raphael noted on the bottom corner of what had to be the Shogun’s personal _sashimono_ was written another word hastily added on: ‘ _San_.’

Turning towards the others, Raph found them staring up at the banners solemnly. Buddy started to squirm and fuss, breaking Raphael from his thoughts. “Come on,” he urged quietly, unwilling to break the stillness of the scene. “Let’s get outta here.”

Without a word, the four continued on their way, the weight of their journey catching up to them once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobori - From what I understand, banners used as a means of communication in war.  
> Sashimono – banners worn by soldiers/samurai that were more personalized.  
> San – Three


	25. The Tale of the Black Warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys learn the legend of the Shogun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little longer than normal, but I have a feeling none of you will get mad about THAT...

Traveling with an infant was…hard. Much harder than Raph had previously thought. Since coming upon the burned down village, the child was fussy and would cry for no apparent reason. It was the crying that set Raph on edge most, and not just because he feared gaining attention from the wrong people. He hated to see the infant upset.

Feeding also became a chore. Miho had only given them enough supplies to feed the baby twice. After, it was expected that they scavenge to find the proper ‘ingredients’ as they traveled. To torture him, Raphael was sure, his brothers wouldn’t help him out when it came time to collect bugs. Instead, the other three sat back and watched as he attempted to collect as many creepy crawly things as he could that he knew were in the bug-juice. It was the most disgusting, terrifying thing he’d probably ever had to do – save take down Spy Roach and fight Dregg on his bug world. But taking one look at Donnie’s smug face, the kind of face that screamed, ‘This is why you can’t keep the baby,’ Raph sucked it up and went on his very first bug hunt.

He came out successful in the end, completely freaked out and nauseous, but successful. And he’d made sure to collect enough for more than one feeding. He didn’t want to have to be subject to this more often than need be. Thankfully after his Herculean trial, Mikey offered to squish them up and actually make the bottle as Miho had directed. Raph was immensely grateful. He wasn’t sure he could stomach it if he had to do the actual squishing part, too.

But that wasn’t all. That night camping out under the stars should have been relaxing. Instead, Raph was terrified for Buddy, unsure how to care for and place a sleeping baby. Would he get too cold? They couldn’t really make a big fire, Donnie pointing out that they couldn’t draw attention to themselves, but even then, the bigger turtle wasn’t sure he wanted the child close to the flames. While sleeping with the baby in his arms or beside him was technically an option, Raph was terrified he might roll over and squish the little guy. There was no way he could live with himself if something like that happened.

In the end a person had to stay up as watch anyway, so Raph reluctantly decided that they’d pass the baby, holding him so the infant would stay warm throughout the night. That way no one had to worry about accidently rolling over on him, didn’t need to worry about Taro rolling into the fire, and the child would stay warm. Casey was the only one hesitant with the idea, clearly freaked out about having to hold the tiny turtle. Casey had a younger sister, sure, but that was and had always been different than having to deal with a baby.

When Mikey woke Raph for his shift – the last of the night – the big turtle felt stiff and groggy, but perked up when Buddy was passed to him. The youngest passed out almost instantly, snoring along with the others, leave Raphael awake. Opening his senses, the turtle contemplated his latest dream. Every night since coming to this planet his dreams were virtually the same. Leonardo was sitting in a clearing out in the sun, meditating. Raph always struggled to move, to speak, desperate to reach his lover. But as soon as he managed to say his brother’s name, when Leo’s eyes opened and looked at him, the world crumbled away.

There were little differences between nights. The night before Leonardo wouldn’t look at him and Raph managed to say his name twice. Before waking now, Leo had stood up, keeping eye contact before the world fell away. It was so odd, the meaning eluding the turtle. While not exactly ‘spiritual’ Raph wasn’t so spiritually dead that he didn’t sense a deeper meaning here. He just couldn’t figure out what it was.

He woke the others around dawn, preparing the infant’s bottle. While his brothers stumbled about, attempting to wake themselves, Raph studied the child. Still sound asleep, he didn’t stir even as Mikey perked up and began making loud noises to annoy the other two. Buddy didn’t appear to have suffered from the awkward night’s sleep, didn’t seem to be too cold or even too hot. Thus far, in all honesty, he’d been a pretty good baby. Even the diapers they’d made for him weren’t that bad. Casey had made sure to regale the horrors of diaper ‘blow outs,’ remembering his sister’s when she’d been an infant, but thus far, they’d gotten off easy.

“He’s a cuddler.”

“Huh?” Raph blinked up to find Mikey smile gently at the baby.

“Buddy. He’s a cuddler. He kept snuggling with my hand during watch,” the younger ninja grinned. “It was adorable. He slept better when he was holding on to something.”

“Probably just wanted ta keep warm,” Raph shrugged, standing and grabbing his share of the packs before putting on the sling, setting the baby inside. “Everyone ready?”

Casey was still half asleep as he kicked dirt over the remains of their meager fire, while Donatello swayed on his feet. While not a morning person himself, the military life had made certain that Raphael could be ready to go at the drop of a hat. There were times when sleeping had been a luxury, one that couldn’t always be afforded. Thus far since leaving the Salamandrians, Raph hadn’t slept well. If he managed to sleep more than a few hours, it was plagued with dreams of Leonardo, some memories of the past, sometimes visions with unknown meanings. So having only gotten around five hours of sleep didn’t bother him as much as it would have a few years ago.

Like the day before, the troupe shuffled along, hoping that Donnie’s tracker would start picking up April’s signal. They managed to walk seven miles when the device started beeping again.

With an extra pep in their step, the hopeful group picked up the pace. By that afternoon they started to see people on the road. Casey hastily pulled down his mask and flipped up his hood, and within a few minutes, they came across another town. It was much smaller than _Shizuoka_ but certainly bigger than the farming village of _Kokudo._ The houses here were more modern than the huts they’d last seen, and looked to be the classic Japanese architecture, complementing the hills just beyond.

“Is this on the map?” Raph leaned in close to Donnie.

Carefully pulling it from his belt, the genius looked the map over. “I…think this is _Yamaguchi_ , but I’m not positive. According to this and from what Miho said, I thought it should’ve been farther away.”

By this time the baby was awake and fussing, squirming against Raph’s plastron. “Shh, come on, little guy,” he muttered under his breath.

As they walked through the town, they received a lot of stares of distrust. “Maybe we can find a place to sit for a break and ask for info?” Mikey suggested nervously.

Having stuffed the tracker in his pack out of view from the natives, Donatello nodded. “I think we should leave after, though. This place is…tense.”

That was an understatement. The people here, unlike _Shizuoka_ and _Kokudo,_ did not seem open to new comers. There was certainly an air of suspicion around the inhabitance. It wasn’t to be unexpected, but it threw the younger turtles and Casey. Since this was generally how he’d been treated when on tour, Raph handled the change much better, and continued on his way, glaring at anyone who looked at them too closely. He made sure to tuck the baby away from view for good measure.

Eventually a small café-like building was discovered. Despite the locals’ less than accommodating demeanors, there were other strangers coming into town, possibly refugees. The addition of the turtles and Casey garnered stares, but they were left to themselves. They sat in the back, making themselves comfortable.

It wasn’t hard to listen in on the conversations around them as everyone seemed to be talking about the same thing: the Shogun. It didn’t take them long to realize they were in Lord Hebi’s territory, or at least this town sympathized with the _daimyo._ Many of the men and even women around the area were not shy in making their displeasure of the Shogun known, denoting him as, ‘demon.’

The aliens kept to themselves, having asked for water and were served some sort of rice-cakes as well. The idea was to stay quiet, but one local, a massive bull, ruined the plan. Charging over once they were settled, he glared at the turtles. “Not too many _kame_ come this way,” he began bluntly. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” Raph grunted, unintimidated. “Going east.”

The bull sneered. “What business did you have out west?”

“We’re merchants, nothing more,” Donatello replied smoothly. “Like my companion said, we’re only heading home.”

“Never seen merchants so heavily armed,” the stranger narrowed his eyes, staring pointedly at the sword at Raph’s side.

“These are hard times,” Donnie cut in just as Raph opened his mouth. “We didn’t want to risk any… unfortunate incidences.”

Snorting, the bull continued to study them, before asking plainly, “Which side do you belong to?”

“ _Neither_ ,” Raph growled. “We’re just tryin’ to get home.”

“How can you not belong to either?”

The building quieted, the confrontation now the most interesting talk. Raph tensed, not liking the attention. Already he began making preparations if they needed to escape.

“If you are not against the Shogun, you are just as bad as the enemy!” the bull declared viciously.

“Why?” Mikey unfortunately blurted.

Murmurs and gasps went through the crowd now getting too close for comfort. Raph shot Casey a covert look, and he knew the human was tensing to make a break for it, too.

“They do not know!”

“They must not know!”

The room began murmuring all at once, before a young tanuki stepped forward, placing a hand on the bull’s shoulder in a silent gesture to step down. “Perhaps you have not heard the origin of _Nozomashikunai_?”

At the turtles’ blank looks, the tanuki shook his head, as if disappointed or perhaps amazed that they knew nothing of the Shogun. How these people knew anything was beyond Raphael since Miho had said nothing and he trusted her word much more than these people. But then again, Miho had been a sheep from a tiny, remote farming village. Perhaps word simply hadn’t arrived there yet?

“It is said that a foolish samurai released _Nozomashikunai_ ,” the tanuki began. “He was traveling alone one night and heard a call of distress, leading him into a dark forest.” Unbidden, Raph’s mind conjured the vision he’d had on Earth in the clear, Leonardo being consumed in the shadows of the forest. “It was the call of a woman, or so he had believed, and she begged for aid. Being honorable, the samurai obliged and attempted to treat her wounds. But the female was not what she seemed.

“It was a _witch_ ,” the storyteller continued dramatically. “And only after the samurai had bandaged her did she reveal to him her true form. As a show of gratitude, she offered to grant him whatever he asked.”

Everyone was listening now, the room silent. It was a tale that the others had more than likely heard before, but were keen on hearing again. As he listened though, Raphael was filled with dread.

“Now the samurai was an agent of Lord Noriyuki, and being loyal, asked for the wisdom and knowledge to defeat his enemies. The witch agreed and conjured a spirit who gave the samurai the vast knowledge and wisdom he sought in battle. But he became greedy, arrogant, and soon desired more. He was not satisfied, and demanded a warrior unlike any the world has ever seen.”

“ _Nozomashikunai_ ,” the murmur rippled through the crowd.

The tanuki nodded gravely. “Together the witch and the spirit agreed to give the samurai his great warrior, but they wished for something in return. Some say the samurai traded his soul, others that he promised them land and all that he had. Whatever the case, a deal was struck, and _Nozomashikunai_ was brought forth from the depths of hell.

“At first it was complacent, doing whatever was asked of it, serving the samurai and Lord Noriyuki without question. But the witch had deceived the samurai and did not warn him. She named it ‘the Black Warrior’ to hide its true identity, to hide what it truly was. The shapeshifting demon of darkness, the Shadow Demon! And as the days grew long, slowly the Shogun became hostile, turned to serving its own purpose and not the will of the _daimyo_.”

“Monster!” the crowd hissed in fear and anger.

“Villages came up destroyed, families torn apart. By the time the samurai realized what he had done, it was too late. The Shogun, the _Nozomashikunai_ , had taken control, possessing all around it. And some say that Lord Hebi’s noble ninja stole from the palace the only thing that can control it.”

“I heard it was a talisman that was smashed, and its pieces scattered across the earth!” a ram shouted.

“I heard it was its heart!”

The villagers were getting themselves riled up by now. It was time to go. But with how many people were surrounding the aliens, it wasn’t looking as though escape would be easy. Or possible. But before they could think their way out of the situation, a sudden scream filled the air accompanied by the blasting of horns.

The Shogun’s forces had arrived.

“How does he keep _finding_ us?!” Mikey cried, leaping to his feet and pulling out his nunchaku.

“We should not have spoken of him!” a lizard nearby cried. “We have summoned him!”

Taking advantage of the panic, Raph snapped to attention and turned to flee from the building, the others following after. Out on the streets was similar to a few days before, but thankfully it was not as crowded and there was more room to maneuver. After barking out orders to the others, the aliens made plans to rendezvous outside of the town. Unlike _Shizuoka_ there was no forest to hide in, only open field. Once they cleared the town, they would be running for their lives and meet up in the hills. Or at least, Raph hoped they would.

As before, they were separated in the crowd quickly, but did not fight the parting. Instead Raph worked with the mass of frightened people, trying his best to shield the infant. As he was running, however, he ran into a very surprised looking fox. For a moment the mammal stared at him, before horror flashed across his face. “I did not know you were here!” the man cried, grabbing ahold of Raphael’s arm and dragging him into a clear side street, hastily looking the baby over. “Had I known, I would not have signaled the attack! You must hurry! Go!”

Getting the baby out of here was too important to wonder what the hell was going on. Time and again he’d gotten lectured about looking the gift horse in the mouth, but today he would finally learn his lesson. Not stopping, the turtle nodded once to the fox, who soon melted back into the chaos, before running towards the edge of town. He almost made it, the fields just beyond, when the six legged beasts with mounted warriors came thundering towards him, blocking his path. Raphael startled, trying to turn when _yari_ were thrown at his feet.

The spears, along with cradling the baby, insured that he couldn’t properly counterbalance the sudden shift in his momentum to dodge the attack. Instead of turning, Raphael crashed to the ground. He managed to turn on his side so as to avoid landing on the infant.

“Shit,” he hissed, the child wailing in terror.

Scrambling to his feet, he was just in time to see one of the mounted figures jump down, dressed in blue and gold armor. It was the Shogun’s second.

Without hesitation the samurai drew his sword, stalking close. On the outskirts of the town, Raph shrugged off his packs, covertly setting the baby inside one. He knew the samurai had to hear the cries of the baby, but he couldn’t hold the child and fight. This guy was coming at him with intent, and Raph knew he had to stand and fight. There was no more running.

Taking out his sai, the turtle planted himself in front of the infant, growling low in his throat. The Second was not intimidated. “Lay down your weapons,” the warrior commanded.

“Come and get them,” the turtle sneered.

There was no witty comeback, no second chance. Instead the samurai came at Raphael with surprising speed and ferocity. In fact, the armor-clad warrior was so fast, he managed to knock a sai out of the turtle’s hand within the first few minutes.

Raph managed to spin out of the way of a well-placed slice that would have severed his head from his neck had he been slower. He came back by kicking the samurai square in the chest. It was a powerful blow, but somehow the other stayed on his feet. Taking that time to switch gears, Raph hooked his remaining sai in his belt and pulled out Leo’s katana. Time to put into practice everything Big Brother had tried to teach him.

All too soon the samurai recovered, snarling as he glared up at the ninja. Raphael blinked in surprise when he realized it was the white rabbit from _Shizuoka_. The lower faceguard had been knocked loose, and the rabbit viciously tore it the rest of the way off, steadying himself as he circled the turtle. “ _You’re_ the Shogun’s second?” he couldn’t help but blurt. Mikey was right, should’ve followed the damn rabbit.

“You will pay for what you’ve done,” the samurai snarled, glaring hatefully at the turtle.

The unexpected dialogue had the alien laughing ruefully. “Oh yeah?”

“You cannot fool me,” the rabbit snapped. “I will avenge my Shogun for all that you have done!”

There was no time to stop and explain that this was a serious case of mistaken identity. Once more coming at him hard, it took every ounce of skill and focus Raphael had to keep his attacker at bay. He’d faced a lot of deadly warriors in his day, but this rabbit was out for blood. Thankfully the turtle realized quickly that all he had to do was dance out of the rodent’s striking range. The samurai was using so much energy, and with wearing all that armor, he was tiring himself out quickly. It was an amateur mistake, but Raph hoped he’d survive to take advantage of this mistake.

The two combatants managed to nick each other throughout the battle, but fatal wounds were not forthcoming. As predicted, the rabbit began to slow, his movements losing refinement. That was the break Raphael had been looking for. The sudden charge had the rabbit surprised, and grabbing the samurai’s wrist, the turtle twisted it as hard as he could, causing the other to scream. The katana fell from the Second’s hand, but the bastard was not through. Stabbing the turtle with a small knife to the side, he pulled free of Raph’s grip, kneeing the turtle in the stomach for good measure. The sudden injury had the ninja flinching, unbalancing them both.

Pushing himself up, severely pissed by now, Raphael was ready to sever the rabbit’s head, when a war cry from the left caught him off guard. The rhino from the other day came charging at them. Raph didn’t have time to properly brace himself before he was thrown to the ground, wrestling with the larger animal. With them busy, the rabbit stood, cradling his injured wrist to his chest, and rushing towards the still crying baby.

“NO!” Raph cried, viciously pummeling the rhino’s face in order to get to his feet. Pulling his sai, he threw it at the rabbit, who was forced to stop and deflect the weapon.

Before they could face off again, the ground beneath them started to shake. The three combatants stared down, and Raphael was horrified when the earth began to fall away. He only remembered to breathe when moles started jumping up from the new holes. “Oh, come _on_!” he cried in sheer frustration. Now there were fucking _mole people_?! As they began attacking not only the Shogun’s men, but Raphael, the turtle realizing that they were ninja. Lord Hebi’s men. It was suddenly turning into some fucked up version of a Mexican standoff, and Raph wasn’t sure he had the energy to fend off fresh fighters. But hearing Buddy’s frightened wails gave him enough motivation to do it anyway.

The samurai was the first to make his move, the rhino following his lead. The moles did not differentiate between those two and Raph, and went after him as well. But as they charged, the turtle ran towards the infant. Maybe he could give them all the slip and get away? He couldn’t stay here and keep fighting. He was feeling the effects of blood loss already.

He almost made it when one ninja tunneled up in front of him, popping up and scaring the shell off the too focused turtle. Without hesitation, Raph punched the mole square in the face, knocking him out cold. But when that one went down, three more took his place. Raph was slicing through the moles wildly, not even trying for form. This wasn’t a time to get technical. He had to rescue the baby!

But his single-tracked mind cost him. He did not see the attack that came from behind. One minute Raph was racing towards Taro, the next, something struck him in the head. The turtle landed hard, his head bouncing off the ground. He gasped, the air completely knocked out of him, and the edges of his vision blurred. The sounds of battle became distant, and in a panic, Raphael realized he was losing consciousness. He struggled to remain awake, to get up, but couldn’t.

Just before everything went dark, a shadow hovered over him.

“Leo?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi - Mountain Mouth  
> Tanuki – Japanese raccoon dog  
> Yari – type of Japanese spear


	26. The Ancient One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael wakes up after the battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...If I promise to be nice next chapter, will you guys not kill me for this one?

_It was just one of those rare moments where they were getting along. Truly getting along. Not the kind of getting along just because they’d had sex a moment ago, either. But actually,_ really _getting along._

_Curled up and cuddled together, the two lovers stared at the sun light peeking through the grates above their secret spot. The city was just overhead, the bustle of human happenings masking any sound of their own activities. It was warm here, cozy as the two had spent some time and effort into making this secret getaway their own._

_They had just settled into a comfortable silence before Leo turned in Raph’s arms, staring at the bigger turtle, chin resting on his plastron. There was an odd little smile playing on his lips, one that had the hothead’s heart beating faster. “What?” he demanded._

_The older brother shrugged, before his smile widened playfully. “Tell me a secret.”_

_“What?” Raph sneered._

_“A secret,” Leo pressed, unconcerned by his lover’s lack of enthusiasm. “Something nobody else knows.”_

_Staring down into the sparkling eyes of his brother, feeling that strange pull in his chest, the turtle deadpanned, “I’m sleepin’ with my brother.”_

_Leonardo rolled his eyes. “Something,_ nobody _knows, Raph. That includes me.” When the younger ninja remained silent, Leo sighed. “Fine. Guess I’ll go first. I love dark chocolate –”_

_Raph cackled obnoxiously just to mock. “Ain’t no secret, bro. We all know that.”_

_“You didn’t let me finish,” Leo snapped, before leveling out his tone. “I love dark chocolate so much, that I actually keep a hidden stash in my room.”_

_A beat passed between the two before Raphael burst out laughing. This time it was more from surprise and true amusement. “You_ what _?” he grinned, noting the rather attractive flush that came to the leader’s face at the admission. “Seriously?”_

_The older turtle shrugged, drawing lazy patterns with his finger on the other’s plastron. “It’s true,” he held strong. “Now your turn. Tell me something.”_

_Now it was Raph’s turn to feel his skin flush. Staring into those big blue eyes that twinkled up at him expectantly, smiling all on their own, left him flustered. Unsure. Because when Leo looked at him like that…_

_Mikey liked to claim that he was the cutest of them, the prettiest. From his light green scales to his adorable smattering of freckles to his sky blue eyes, the youngest liked to monopolize the aesthetic compliments. And while the light blue eyes held a certain appeal, Raphael would never call them beautiful. They were too pale, too open, like the sky. There was no mystery to them, no depth. The translucency of the sky had never charmed Raphael much. He preferred the cool darkness of the ocean._

_Looking away from the eager gaze boring into him, Raph stared up at the light filtering through the grate. “My favorite color…it ain’t red.”_

_When he plucked up the courage to glance back down at his brother, Raph found Leo blinking up at him. And slowly, a stunning, adorable, hopelessly dorky smile lit up the leader’s features, smoothing away the severity and heaviness the turtle usually bore. Blue eyes glittered with humor and something Raph had never been able to figure out._

_“Not red, huh?” Leo let out a quiet laugh. Raph was unable to stop himself from reaching out and caressing his brother’s arm with his thumb. “I bet it's green, isn’t it?” he teased._

_“Could be,” the younger shrugged noncommittedly._

_“How very conceded of you,” Leo smirked._

_“You asked.”_

_The leader laughed, the happy sound bouncing off the concrete walls, the echo settling in Raphael’s bones. While not normally one that liked being laughed at, the big turtle found himself content with his situation. Content to have his brother laughing at him. Because right now they were getting along. Right now, they were sharing secrets. And Raphael hadn’t known how badly he’d wanted to know something as stupid as Leo hiding dark chocolate in his bedroom. Or how badly he wanted to see the waves of mirth and warmth in oceanic eyes._

**oOoOoOo**

It was with a low groan that Raphael opened heavy eyes. It was slow, painful, and to the sounds of…music? Groaning once more, the turtle squinted trying to allow his eyes to adjust to the brightness. It took his foggy brain a minute to realize that he was inside, staring up at a ceiling and not outside. But inside of what, he wasn’t sure. He was having a hard time remembering what had happened.

Shifting, he discovered that he was on some kind of bed or futon, and there was a thick blue blanket covering him. He couldn’t remember having gone to bed. Was he sick? He certainly didn’t feel good, but laying still, analyzing himself told him that no, he wasn’t ill. Had he been hurt? Yes, he could feel throbbing in his left side. But what had he been doing that would have gotten him hurt? The last thing he thought he remembered was walking into a town and…

“TARO!” Raph bolted upright, only to double over, gasping in pain. When he felt he could breathe he ignored the burning in his side so he could search the area.

Before he could stand or do anything much more than sit up straight, there came a swift _bop_ to the head that had the turtle yelping in surprise. Raph ended up turning too quickly, which left him wheezing as he stretched his injured side too much. “Be quiet!” came an angry hiss. “No shouting!”

Once recovered from the blinding pain, Raphael gaped stupidly at the figure beside him. Green, wrinkled, and scowling, he flinched back on reflex. It was the old woman, the turtle from the woods that night from when he’d beamed down to the planet!

“Who are you?” he demanded hotly, heart hammering wildly in his plastron. “Where am I? What have you done with Taro?!”

The old turtle glared at him, the energy wafting from her just as potent as from when he’d first seen her, but the younger terrapin was too upset now to be afraid. He didn’t care what she did to him, he needed to find the baby. Needed to save him! He’d go to the depths of hell if he had to!

“Such manners,” the witch tutted, picking up her cane and pointing it threateningly at the younger being. “You are rude.”

Temper sparking uncontrollably, Raph shoved the cane away from his face and pushed himself up off the futon, looming over the old woman threateningly. There was no thought of his injuries. “Where is _my_ baby?!”

In the blink of an eye, much too fast to follow, the big turtle found himself falling over, only half on the futon, completely frozen. His muscles locked up and he couldn’t do more than grunt when he landed awkwardly, bumping his still throbbing head on the floor. It was similar to when Sensei had used pressure points on them when they grew up. Only unlike Splinter’s mild demonstrations, this lasted much longer than a few seconds.

“Such manners!” the old woman tutted again, completely unfazed by the aggressive display. “Very rude.”

There was no struggling in this frozen state, but Raph tried anyway. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen that coming. He couldn’t believe that this frail little old lady had been able to _move_ that fast in the first place! He watched from his peripherals as the other turtle shuffled out of the room, leaving him prone half off the futon. Where the hell was she going?!

“Are you going to behave yourself?” she asked after about five minutes, coming back into the room with a tray.

Unable to answer, the ninja attempted to scowl at the witch, but wasn’t sure the look came across. She certainly took her sweet time in settling herself before pressing a point on the bottom of his foot that was sticking up in the air, which released the hothead from his paralysis. He gasped, struggling to push himself up even as his side screamed in protest. This was too much on his recovering body, but thinking of the baby, Raphael did what he could to move. He had to fight!

“Where is Taro?” he demanded, huffing as he went for his sai. Of course they weren’t there. He was completely stripped down save his pants and the bandages wrapped around his torso.

“Taro?” the old woman frowned thoughtfully, blowing delicately on her cup of tea. “That is a good name. Taro,” she hummed. “I should have thought of that.”

“Where. Is. My. Baby?” he snarled, managing to get to his feet, his body trembling with rage. If anything happened to that baby, Raphael would destroy everything in his path.

The other turtle merely raised an unimpressed eye ridge, clearly unaffected by the hostile display. “ _Your_ baby?” she muttered with the shake of her head. “You have nothing to fear. He is safe.”

“WHERE –?!”

“I have returned him to his sisters.”

The news was like a sucker punch to the stomach, causing Raph to grunt as though physically assaulted. “S-sisters?” His voice was weaker than he would have liked. “Y-you mean…you mean he has a…a family?”

“Of course,” the old turtle frowned pensively, watching his movement closely, but did not offer anything more.                                                                                                                                                       

The fight in the big turtle bled away. Raph sat down hard on the futon, eyes staring off into space. The news shouldn’t have been all that surprising. He should have considered this as a possibility. But…but he hadn’t. Not really. In his mind, he’d already planned on keeping the baby, on raising him as a son. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone else out there waiting for him, missing him. Buddy already having a family was just…not in the cards. Never had been in his deck.

A peculiar sort of emptiness filled the turtle’s heart. It was strange, dramatic even, he knew. He’d only had the child a few days and didn’t even know his real name. But dammit, he’d hunted _bugs_ for the little guy! He’d never done that for anyone else! Not Spike or Chompy or even _Leo_!

“Oh,” he murmured, eyes glazed over as he stared at the far wall. “That’s…that’s good. Great. He’s with his family.”

Minutes ticked by and it took quite a bit of willpower for Raphael to regain some sense. Actually taking the time to _look_ around the house, he found himself floored by what he found. There were actual _lamps_ lighting the room, and some kind of weird record player in the corner still playing grainy sounding music. The home, while Japanese, had a sort of…western-ness to it. It was like an old grandma’s house, filled with an awful lot of clutter on the shelves, odd sorts of knickknacks that he couldn’t see any real purpose for having. There was even a modern-ish looking clock on the wall with multiple faces.

“Where am I?” he asked more to himself than the other turtle.

“My home,” she replied anyway, offering the younger being his own cup of tea. “And it was a lot of work to drag your sorry carcass here, so don’t break anything.”

The knowing glare she sent his way took the ninja by surprise, but he glared right back. “Where’s _here_?”

“ _Aomori_. In the mountains.”

“What? We’re still on Terr –” he snapped his mouth closed, eyes wide as he knew he’d probably said too much.

A knowing sort of smile stretched the old woman’s lips, her black eyes twinkling in a way that sent Raph’s skin crawling. “We are still on the same planet, yes.”

Now he was really confused. “But there’s electricity! I mean, you have music and lights and –”

“ _Hai_ ,” she nodded pleasantly. “And you had this.”

All other questions flew from the alien’s mind as he gaped at his tracking device in the old woman’s hand. It was clearly broken, but he snatched it out of her hand anyway. It must have been smashed during the fight with the Shogun’s Second.

The younger being eyed the mysterious woman, deciding that he needed to get the hell out of here. But shifting reminded him of the stab wound to the side. Even if he did leave he couldn’t go fast and he’d be hopelessly lost. He had no tracker, no map, and he got the feeling that slipping out from under the old woman’s watch would be harder than he’d like. There was a very good chance that he was a prisoner here. For the time being.

Sighing, he tipped his head back, the weight and stress of his situation pressing down on him. “Great.” They sat quietly together for a moment before Raph remembered something else that wasn’t adding up. “How do you know about other planets anyway?”

“When you get to be my age, young one, you learn quite a bit.” There was that damn twinkling in her eye that Raph didn’t trust at all.

“Uh-huh…” He made sure to put a bit of space between them. “And who are you?”

That same freaky smile as before split her lips. “I am called the Ancient One. You may address me as such.”

“Ancient One?” Raph snorted, sniffing his tea, almost afraid it was drugged or something. “Fantastic.”

The old turtle – the _Ancient_ One – grumbled. “You are _rude_.”

Getting an unholy thrill out of annoying her, Raph smirked into his tea, deciding that he’d take the chance of drinking some. “Yeah, I’m –”

“I know who you are,” the Ancient One snapped, sitting up to shuffle close to the younger turtle.

Raph pulled away as she attempted to invade his personal space. It was tempting to push her face away, but he somehow knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. She’d already paralyzed him. “How could you _possibly_ know who I am?” he sneered. “Your ‘cosmic powers’?”

“Yes,” the old woman sniffed defensively. “And your eyes.”

“My –?”

“They are very distinctive. You do not forget them.”

They lapsed into another abnormal silence. Raphael honestly had no idea what to say to that. Because this woman had never seen him until this week, and even the two other times they’d caught sight of each other, it hadn’t been long. But as he stared at the old woman, Raph got the distinct feeling that this was a bit more personal. She was talking to him almost as though they’d met before.

He had to get out of here. He’d been stabbed and knocked out by an evil Shogun’s second, had lost the child he’d started to think of as his own, and now he was stranded here with a freaky old lady whose aura definitely felt powerful, but terrible. Shuddering, Raph knew that she was holding back. She was much more than what she appeared. Thus far she’d been humoring him, but for what purpose, he had no idea.

When they’d sat together a collection of fifteen minutes straight, at last Raphael couldn’t stand it. “Can I at least see, Taro?”

“No.”

Raph felt himself getting desperate. “I just wanna see that he’s okay! His sisters can sit in on us if you don’t trust –”

“ _No_ ,” the Ancient One snapped.

Without thinking, Raph reached out and grabbed the old turtle’s hand. Momentarily surprised by the action, the witch stared straight into the younger being’s pleading eyes. “ _Please_.”

It took quite a bit to make Raphael beg. He’d been beaten, shot, stabbed, even thrown off buildings, but enemies could never break his spirit. At least if he was the only one being threatened. When it came to someone he loved…well, even though it was a blow to his pride, it didn’t matter in the end. He would do anything to protect and help those he cared about. And even if he hadn’t known the baby boy long, Raph had adopted him as his own. Even if the boy never knew about him, Raphael wouldn’t leave him now. Not until he made certain, with his own eyes, that the child was safe.

The plea must have touched the old woman’s heart, as the hard expression eased from her features. Dark eyes turned away as she sighed. “You may see him. But only after you have proven yourself.”

“Proven…? What do you mean, ‘ _proven’_ myself? What do I gotta –?”

Once more, in a stunning display of speed, the old turtle grabbed Raphael by the front of the plastron, dragging him forward so as to look into his eyes. The ninja was so astonished he found he could only stare back. Dark eyes glittered with a power he’d never seen in another being before, raw energy. He froze. He wasn’t sure why, maybe she was keeping him like that, maybe he was really just too scared to move, but for whatever reason, Raph froze, falling into the black hole that was her gaze.

“Meditate,” the Ancient One commanded. “Meditate and find your center. Only then will I allow you to see ‘Taro.’”

Panting harshly, covered in sweat, Raphael gawked at the other incredulously. “M-meditate? That’s it?”

“It is easy for you? To find your center?” she questioned sharply. Raph snapped his mouth closed. “Once you have found it, then you may ask me again. Until then, no.”

And with that, the old witch hobbled out of the room, leaving a stunned ninja in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!!! 
> 
> Aomori – blue forest


	27. Enter the Shogun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael meets Taro's sisters, and comes face to face with the Shogun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AlessandraDC made me a pretty picture! Gaze upon its splendor!  
> http://alessandradc.deviantart.com/art/Losing-Leo-671842700

It had been three days since Raphael had woken up – and who knew how many had passed since the battle – and the turtle was about ready to explode. Three days of listening to the old hag rant about how incompetent he was, three days of almost nonstop forced meditation, three days of her making him do shit around her fucking house! Enough was enough.

But worse than all that, Raph _knew_ Taro was being kept in the house. He and his ‘sisters’ were staying with the Ancient One. And no matter how many times he tried to sneak around the house, tried to get a peak of the baby and the rest of his family, he couldn’t. The old turtle was always there to stop him and put the beat down. Sneaky old witch.

Now the turtle was sitting outside under a tree in the garden ‘meditating.’ It was a waste of time. Raph had been trying to master meditation since _forever_ and had yet to achieve any real notable success. Sure, he could use it to calm himself down a little, slow his breathing and vitals, but to actually _center_ himself? That had always been the trick that eluded him. He just couldn’t do it.

What the fuck was a ‘center’ anyway? Maybe if he knew what other people’s centers were, it might help give him direction? An idea?

Leaning back on his hands, staring up at the sky, Raph scowled. It was a nice day, the sun out and a light breeze blew the tree tops. The worry for his friends and family was slowly tearing him apart. Had the others escaped the battle? Were they okay? Had they found Leo or April? Were Leo and April all right? The longer he was trapped here with the Ancient One, the more unbalanced and temperamental he felt. Add all that to the fact that his current tormentor was rude and refused to say anything of consequence to him, even when he asked about the elements of her home, was driving him _mad_.

The clear sky left him feeling oddly cold. He couldn’t meditate, but allowed his mind to wander to his dreams. They were getting stronger, clearer. The night before had been the most vivid of all. It started with him being the first to speak, calling out to his brother. Blue eyes immediately opened. Leonardo looked worn, tired, but surprised, as if he hadn’t expected to see Raphael. The vision beginning to crumble after that, like the earth had been falling away, but Leonardo called out to him. “ _Raphael_.”

Instead of glancing down at the ground, the bigger ninja had kept his eyes locked onto his brother’s. It was as though Leo was holding him steady. The ground shook, but Leo’s command kept him braced. “ _Look at me_.”

The connection shook, Raph had felt himself slipping away. He wanted to obey, wanted to keep himself steady, to look at Leonardo. But it was difficult. So difficult. The fear of being swallowed by the earth tempted him to save himself. The need to look down and assess his situation to get away.

“ _Look at me_.” Leo had come closer, expression severe, demanding. Raph trembled from the effort to obey. “ _Raphael_.”

So close. They had been so close. His brother reached out for him, but Raph couldn’t meet him half way, didn’t dare. But he wanted to. Wanted to throw himself at his lover. Wanted to hold on and never let go. Not again. Not ever again.

“ _Look at me_.”

Leo had been right there. His hand hovered just over Raphael’s cheek. It was almost as though Raph could feel the heat coming from his lover. Everything hurt. Everything on fire, but Raphael struggled not to look away. Focused all of his attention on the blue before him. On the coolness, the calm. On everything he’d ever wanted.

When the vision had broken, Raphael shot up straight gasping, sucking in air as though he’d been held under water too long. Covered in sweat, he couldn’t stop shivering. It took hours for him to be able to stop.

He’d been _so close_! But to what?

“ _Yatsu_!” Groaning, he glared across the way and towards the house. Of course the old hag was waddling out to him. Probably had something more for him to do. Like scrub her floors. Again.

Grinding his teeth, Raphael glared at the old turtle, wishing he could just stab her through the throat and be on his way. By this time he was ready to get the hell out of here and take Taro and his sisters with him. He’d do anything to leave this absurd place. “What?” he snapped.

“Come, come, come,” she waved her arm back towards the house. “We must get ready!”

Intrigued despite himself, Raphael stood slowly, unsure if this was some kind of trick. “Ready for what?”

“We must prepare for our guests! They will be arriving soon. Very soon!”

Guests? “What do ya mean, ‘guests?’” A thrill of excitement suddenly shot through the ninja as he stared down at the tiny woman. “Is it my brothers? Did ya find them?” After all, she’d found _him_ , and he got the sneaking suspicion she knew more about him and his family than she let on.

“What?” the Ancient One paused in her hurried shuffle to frown up at him. “No. No. I do not know them,” she waved off.

“I thought ya said ya knew –?”

“No,” she shook her head, cutting him off. “We must prepare for the Shogun.”

“SHOGUN?!” Images of the murderous demon from that first day on Terre 390-7 flashed in Raph’s mind, and he felt a sudden surge of panic. “You’re friends with the _Shogun_?” It shouldn’t have been a surprise considering Raph had thought the witch was recruiting him before. But to find out that his paranoia had some real basis was unnerving.

“Not friends,” the Ancient One huffed. “He is my pupil.”

“Wait,” Raph held up his hand, suddenly very disturbed, and very concerned for not only his own life, but those of the children residing in the house. “You _taught_ the Shogun? You taught a guy that slaughters innocent people?”

“No,” the turtle denied, eyeing the ninja warily. “I do not teach others to kill...although I do teach them _how_ if need be, but never to actually _do_ it. Unless they have to.”

She was sounding a little like Sensei, which both soothed and pissed Raph off. All these ‘never, except for’ answers always contradicting each other. Why couldn’t anyone speak plainly? “So he corrupted your teachings?”

The Ancient One didn’t bother to answer, simply pushed the bigger turtle into the house, barking out orders for him to begin dusting the shelves. As she turned away, humming under her breath, Raph realized that she was going to the room he suspected as being hers. Wasn’t she even going to help?! “What the hell are _you_ gunna do?” he demanded.

“So rude,” the old woman muttered under her breath. “I must prepare other things. You clean.”

“Like _hell_ I’m gunna –!”

“You clean and I will let you see Taro.” Raph’s mouth had never snapped shut so quickly. “Taro and his sisters.”

She was blackmailing him, and dammit if it wasn’t working. Growling, the ninja turned away and grabbed the cloth she threw at him, turning to dust. “And don’t just dust _around_ things,” the Ancient One called from her room. “You must do the job _right_. Can you do that?”

“I’ll fuckin’ show _you_ right,” he muttered hatefully, but did as he was told. “Lazy old hag.”

As he cleaned, Raph allowed his mind to wander. The Shogun. The Black Warrior. What was that guy really like? All Raph knew of him for sure was that he enlisted the help of an asshole fucking rabbit and could take down helpless captives while burning down towns. Very brave. But there was a war going on, and he’d learned well not to rely on one source of information for truth. There had to be more going on than what he knew, he just didn’t know what. Or what to think of everything he’d seen thus far.

Somewhere behind the _shoji_ , there was a loud wail and the sound of something smashing on the floor. “ _Aiya_! Zuki!” came the exasperated cry of the Ancient One.

Rushing over to the _shoji_ Raph knocked on the frame. “You guys all right?” he called, more worried for the children than the witch. When he tried to slide the door open, however, he found he could not. Figures.

“Fine,” came the disgruntled call, as the crying continued. Was that Taro? It didn’t quite sound like him. “ _You_ are just like your father,” she growled quietly, before things began to settle.

Raph hovered by the door a few minutes, but when nothing happened and there was no more commotion, he sighed, deciding that things were okay. He hoped.

With the Ancient One seemingly occupied, Raph pulled out his tracking device from his pocket and took the time to look it over once more. He’d stayed up late trying to get the damn thing to work, but had thus far been unsuccessful. It was just smashed enough that he was pretty sure not even Donnie could fix it. Which was a bummer considering that if he genius brother couldn’t, no one could. Maybe there was some secondary… backup…thingy that Don had installed? It was a one in a million chance, but maybe Don could work his voodoo and find him even if it was broken?

“CLEAN!” came the cry from the other room, prompting the big turtle to shove the broken tech into his pocket and start working again. How she always knew when he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to do was beyond him.

After a few hours of dusting and straightening up the house – even cutting _kabocha_ – all for the arrival of the Shogun, Raph was exhausted. As he played maid, the Ancient One continued to bop in and out of her room before finally opening the _shoji_ fully, holding a large basket. Or at least it looked large when she held it. Raph was just sitting down when she came out.

“ _Yatsu_!” she called, making Raph’s scales itch. “You come and help me!” she demanded. “How rude, sit there while an old lady struggles with a heavy basket.”

Groaning, trying very hard not to explode, the big turtle hauled himself up and lumbered over as slowly as he could – just to piss her off. But as he drew closer, there was a sound that he’d come to know pretty well by now. And it was coming in stereo.

“Taro?” he rushed the rest of the way over. Taking up the basket, Raph nearly dropped it in surprise when he saw not just the boy he’d taken care of the past few days, but two other tiny turtles curled around him. “Three?” he blinked in amazement.

“What were you expecting?” the Ancient One huffed, making a show of stretching out her back once Raph had a hold of the basket. “Ugh. Come. Bring them outside.”

As the old turtle made her way out of the house, Raph found himself frozen, staring down at the three sleepy little turtles. They were so _cute_. Without realizing it, he smiled down at them softly, wondering how he could have missed the fact that there were three infants in the house.

He was snapped out of his musings by the obnoxious call of, “ _Yatsu_!”

It was with a lot of grumbling and no small amount of annoyance that the ninja eventually made his way outside to the front of the house. From the outside, it actually looked like a normal place. Nothing strange about it. If anyone passed by, they probably wouldn’t think twice as they kept walking. But there was no one else around – Raph had checked – and he knew by now that looks were deceiving. This place was anything but normal.

“Would ya _stop_ calling me that?” he groused as he came to a stop beside the Ancient One, watching as she looked out over the sea of the forest. Not like she could see anything. Then again, maybe with her weird ‘powers’ she could? “And why the heck did ya wanna bring these little guys out here?”

While it was summer, the big turtle couldn’t help notice the clouds rolling in. If it started to rain he didn’t care what the witch said, he was going back inside with the babies. No way was he going to let them catch a cold.

“We are waiting to return them to the Shogun,” the Ancient One rolled her eyes.

“What?” Raph thought he'd break his neck he turned so fast to face her. “Why the _hell_ are we givin’ these kids over to the Shogun?”

The Ancient One shook her head the same way Donnie usually did when trying to explain an experiment to Mikey. It only served to tick the big turtle off even more. “Because they are his children.”

How many times was Raph going to be thrown for a loop today? “These are the _Shogun’s_ kids?!” he cried, staring down at the now squirming infants, who were all three desperately holding on to slumber, not wanting to get up just yet.

“Not so loud!” the old turtle hissed. “And of course they are! Who else’s would they be?”

The question was asked as if Raphael should have had some kind of clue, but he didn’t catch the tone of voice. Instead, he kept gawking down at the babies, wondering how the heck sweet little Taro and his innocent looking sisters could be…There was _no way_ their father was that mass murdering psychopathic warlord. There was just no way! Who in their right mind would even _breed_ with such a man? So willing to decapitate and take innocent people prisoner?

“Wait…” Another thought entered his mind as the shock of that particular revelation calmed. “The Shogun’s a _turtle_?”

The Ancient One shot him another long suffering look that made Raph feel like the dumbest thing in the universe. “Of course. He is the Black Warrior. Now, you give me the children,” she commanded, standing on her tip-toes to snatch the basket back. “You go inside and retrieve my cane.”

Raph scowled down at the old witch, his nerves threatening to snap completely. “I –”

“Go,” she commanded, a strange surge of energy pulsing from her. It had Raphael turning and walking back into the house before he knew what was happening. When he realized what he was doing, he grumbled under his breath, searching for the stupid cane. He found it leaning by the door. Why hadn’t she grabbed when they’d gone outside?

He was just returning back outside when he heard the thundering of hooves. He paused, beside the house, watching as a figure emerged from the shadow of the woods. Raph could feel his heart beating faster as the armored figure became recognizable through the trees.

The Shogun had arrived.

The animal he rode was panting harshly, its fur covered in sweat and lather, clearly exhausted. But the Shogun didn’t slow his relentless pace. In fact, he didn’t even stop the animal completely before he leapt off the creature, running on his own feet to where the Ancient One stood waiting for him. As he watched the desperate dash, only then did it sink in for Raphael that the Shogun had been separated from his children, that he had had no idea where Taro had been for at least three days. The same could have been true for his daughters. The attack on _Shizuoka_ , possibly the other villages…had it all been a means to find his son? His daughters? Unwillingly a surge of understanding swelled within the ninja’s heart.

The Shogun did not slow as he neared his sensei and children. Instead, Raph watched with a pounding heart as the warrior pulled off his _kabuto,_ tossing it carelessly to the side, before dropping to his knees, ripping the basket from the Ancient One’s arms, and letting out a sob of utter relief. “My babies!” he cried, tears pouring from blue eyes. “My babies.”

The cane in Raphael’s hands dropped to the ground as his arms went numb. In fact, everything went numb. Because there, kneeling on the ground before the Ancient One, still clad in a samurai’s armor, was Leonardo. His lost lover.

The scene was heart-wrenching as Leonardo continued to sob, kissing his children as he cradled the basket close, whispering to the infants, making odd chirping noises which were answered back almost immediately. Raph was speechless. Completely dumbstruck. The Shogun was Leonardo. The rampaging monster that terrorized villages was his noble, honorable older brother. The same turtle that had always boasted of holding himself to a higher moral standard.

But more upsetting than the revelation of Leonardo being a murderous warlord, was the realization that Leonardo was a father. He had children. _Three_ children. He’d moved on. He’d moved on a long time ago. Raphael was too late. He was far too late, and the bitterness and betrayal he felt in his heart cut deep. Rage unlike anything he’d ever felt before consumed him, his heart bleeding, the pain unbearable. He couldn’t breathe over the hatred and wretchedness he felt swelling within his breast, crushing his lungs.

Growling, he stormed over to the reunion, not sure what he would do once he got there. He wanted to rant, rave, _destroy_. Wanted to make the pain go away, but was unsure how. He was so angry, he couldn’t even see straight. He wanted to make Leonardo hurt the same way he hurt.

His stomping caught the attention of his brother, and when Leonardo looked up from his children, it was with shock and horror. It was not what Raphael wanted to see. It tore at his already broken heart, and a sound like a strangled animal gurgled up from his throat.

When he stood before his petrified brother, Raphael glared down at Leonardo, trembling in fury. But instead of screaming, of rampaging, the hothead let out a breath that quickly turned into a sob. He broke down completely. All the weeks of wondering, worrying, hoping, it all crashed down on him, utterly shattering Raphael.

He wept in front of his elder brother and the Ancient One freely, too distraught to give a damn. Not even bothering to wipe his eyes, Raphael fell to his knees before his beloved and bawled. When he thought he could handle it, he glanced up and found Leonardo still staring at him with wide, horrified eyes. It only made him cry harder. “I-I lost ya,” he sobbed, reaching out his hand to his brother, but was not close enough to touch him. “I-I r-really l-lost ya.”

Pain twisted the older turtle’s features, and without a word, Leonardo stood and quickly rushed away, into the house. He did not look back. Not even as the world crumbled away for Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yatsu – a crude way of saying 'guy' or 'you'. Also used for an 'unpleasant person'  
> Kabocha – winter squash


	28. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Leonardo have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AlessandraDC made me a picture from last chapter - go check it out! There's a link on the last chapter.

He had no idea how much time passed as he stayed kneeling there on the ground, but he didn’t care. He was alone now, Leonardo and his children having fled while the Ancient One slipped away. Not that Raphael cared. It was a small comfort to be alone, no one to watch him, judge him as he continued to sob.

When he felt like he could breathe, the tears were soon burned away by that all-consuming rage he felt burning sickeningly in his gut. The same rage that made him very capable of taking lives. He had to get out of here. There was no other option anymore. He couldn’t stay another minute at this house.

Without a thought, he crawled to his feet and started into the woods. Slow, staggering steps picked up until Raphael was sprinting as fast as he could through the brush. He had to outrun the truth, the devastation that the turtle he’d been looking for, longing for, was the psychotic killer he and his other brothers had been fleeing from since they arrived. How could Leo have become such a _monster_? A maniac who thought nothing of others and destroyed everything in his path?

A thought from before he knew the horrible truth struck the big turtle and he stopped cold, skidding to a halt, panting. Did he really know the whole truth? If Raphael could truly claim to know his big brother, he’d know Leo never did anything without a purpose. Even in the most stressful and emotional situations, his elder brother was focused and calm and logical. So if Leo destroyed towns, there had to be a reason. And that reason could very well have been because he was trying to get back Taro and the girls. His _children_.

Growling, Raphael swung his fists until they met with bark. The shock of the punch traveled up his arm, but he didn’t register the pain. Instead he set about attacking the tree viciously, pummeling it as though it were the very demon that had orchestrated this entire fucked up quest.

How could Leonardo have children?! When he’d left his big brother over a year ago, the turtle had been angry, cold, but there had still been this look in his eyes, a look that Raphael had often dreamt about. There had been sadness, he had _missed_ Raphael! He had the text to prove it! So how! _How?!_

With a resounding _CRACK!_ the tree broke, falling under the abuse of the big turtle’s fists. Unsatisfied, he turned to another tree to begin again.

Three. He had _three_ kids! Had he even _waited_ for Raph to make it to the Salamandrian ship before looking for a new lover? What about all that moping Mikey had said he’d done? What about being so quiet like Donnie observed? What about coming out into space with April to look for _him_? But they land on some _fucking_ God-forsaken backwater planet, Leo shacks up with the first floozy he finds?! While not at all an expert on mutant turtle babies, Donnie had estimated Taro’s age to be around six months or so, so that meant that Leonardo would have had to have gotten whomever pregnant the moment he arrived on the planet, right? That meant that all the show of coming out here to try and find Raphael had meant absolutely _nothing_!

 _CRACK!_ went another tree, and the brutish ninja continued on in this vein, felling trees and anything else he could get his hands on. Nothing soothed the fire that continued to consume him from the inside out, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the image of Leonardo staring up at him with that horrified expression out of his mind. All those ‘visions’ were nothing but fanciful dreams. There had been no tenderness, no command to look at him, no coming near. Leo had fled the moment he saw Raph. Stared at him like _he_ was the monster!

Shaking from exhaustion, fury still clinging to his heart, Raph slumped over, gasping as he stared down at the ground. How the hell had this happened? How did Leonardo come to forget all about him so quickly? Move on? Raph knew he’d been a massive jerk, but he’d always thought…well, he’d always sort of figured Leonardo would have waited longer. Maybe even would wait for _him_ to come to his senses. But when Raph did, he found his elder brother had long since gotten over everything that had passed between them and created his own life. His own _family_. And Raphael wasn’t in it.

There had been a point when this whole nightmare began where Raph thought he could live with just having Leo around, even if his brother no longer care for him as he once had. But now that he had found the turtle, now that he knew Leo had moved on, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough just to have Leo near, and it never had been. He should have realized that. He couldn’t just have Leo acknowledge him, he needed the leader’s full attention. He always had.

Staggering through the woods, eventually the ninja found himself back at the Ancient One’s home. How that was possible, he didn’t even consider. He was sick at the prospect of coming face to face with Leonardo again. As he neared, however, coming out from under the boughs, he spied three figures dismounting from two beasts. Two were clad in armor – samurai – the third was a small, well dressed child. A panda. The closer he got Raphael realized he knew one of them. _My lucky day_ , he thought hatefully as he readied himself for a fight with the fucking rabbit.

But when the others sensed that they were not alone, Raph never got to engage the Second in a rematch. Instead, another figure cried out to him, “RAPH!”

Stunned into halting, he watched as the second armored figure raced towards him, flinging themselves at him. The turtle didn’t bother to actually catch them, simply stood his ground, wondering what other surprises were instore for him today. He honestly didn’t think there could be anymore.

When he didn’t reciprocate the embrace, the figure released him, stepping back. He watched with dull eyes as April pulled off the _kabuto,_ releasing wild red hair. Her face was a bit pale, a certain air of grimness etched into the features despite the smile she adopted. Perhaps it was simply maturity, but he didn’t think so. He knew what war did to a youthful visage. He’d seen the same loss of innocence in the mirror.

The two old friends stared at one another a moment, before the smile dropped from the human’s face, and Raph suddenly found his cheek stinging from a hard slap to the face. When he turned back to look at her, glaring, April was glaring right back, true fury in her eyes. But unlike Raphael, April could never truly hold a grudge, and before he knew it, she was hugging him close again, pressing her face into his neck as best as she could while on tip-toes.

“Oh God, it’s good to see you,” she whispered, voice thick with emotion.

When she pulled back this time, blue eyes were watery, but she was not crying. Instead, she stared up at him, the question she wanted to ask not needing words. Unable to hold up to the scrutiny, the turtle broke eye contact first. “He hates me,” he whispered for her ears only. “I come lookin’ and he just…Not even a damn _word_ ta me.”

While April had always been more of a peacekeeper, never wanting to take anyone’s side over another, her loyalty was to Leonardo first and foremost. Raph could see it in the way her lips thinned and her eyes hardened. While she might never actually come out and say it, he knew she was angry with him for Leo’s sake. And if he were honest with himself, he knew she had every right to be.

Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, she squeezed lightly. “Give him time,” she whispered back, before turning and walking to the house. Probably to find Leonardo.

When the kunoichi left, Raph trailing her with his eyes, the turtle turned to take in the sight of the other two arrivals. Asshole was glaring warily at him while the tiny panda seemed intrigued, peeking out from around the samurai. Still bandaged from the fight, Raphael growled at him before turning to stalk off towards the garden. As he did so, he didn’t think twice before sucker punching the rabbit in the gut.

“For the piercing, _yaro_ ,” he growled as he walked by.

The fight left him for the most part after that, and the turtle found himself tired and defeated. He ended up sitting under the same tree he’d been sitting under for the past three days in an attempt to meditate in the garden. A lot of fucking good it had done him.

He sat quietly trying to wrap his mind around the mystery that was Leonardo. Every time he thought he knew something, he didn’t. Just when he thought he understood, he was wrong. How could Leonardo just throw everything that they’d had away? How could he move on and forget about Raph?

 _But isn’t that what it looked like_ you _did to him?_ a nasty little voice in the back of his mind whispered.

He tried to reason with himself that it wasn’t the same thing. His mind had truly thought of no one else save Leonardo, even when he’d been trying to get close to Mona Lisa. He hadn’t actually slept with anyone but Leonardo! So how could Leo turn around and betray him like that? How could he just forget all that they’d been through together?

He’d always been terribly good at brooding, and as he sat there trying to understand what he felt more, furious or depressed, he didn’t detect the figure that came from the house until they were right before him. Raph didn’t startle, but held absolutely still as the source of his torment came to sit in front of him. The older ninja set down a tray between them, but Raph didn’t look up. He wasn’t sure if he’d end up punching Leo in the face or start crying again. He refused to do the latter.

For a tense moment they sat in silence, neither moving until Leonardo leaned forward. Reaching out, he took ahold of one of Raph’s hands, causing the big turtle to snap his head up. He was being a complete and total fool, but Raphael couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach as his hand was held loosely in Leonardo’s. Raphael’s eyes roved over the face of his lover, willing the older turtle to look up. But he didn’t. Instead, Leonardo carefully guided his brother’s hand to a small bowl on the tray, dipping his bloodied appendage into the cool water. Raph had long ago lost the feeling in much of his hands, his knuckles, so he didn’t wince when Leonardo began cleaning them carefully with a washcloth.

In the silence he studied his brother, taking in the gaunt, scared face. He looked exactly as he had in the visions. The _yukata_ he wore was all black, adding a severity to the once youthful face, darkening blue eyes. He was not the Leonardo Raphael had left behind.

But his motions now were slow, methodical, everything that Raph had always associated with his eldest brother. The action was tender, contrasting sharply with the cold expression Leo wore as he did it. A million questions surged in the bigger turtle’s mind, but the most prominent burst free before he could think. “So how’d it happen?”

The strangled question wasn’t immediately replied to. Instead, Leo continued to wash the bloodied knuckles. “I could ask the same question.”

Shit, his voice. It was so good to hear! But suppressing the relief he felt, Raph focused on the anger. The betrayal. “Don’t get cute,” he sneered. “How’d a turtle so full of himself, so focused on honor and bein’ a hero turn inta the villain?”

Despite his brows furrowing together, Leo didn’t look up from his work, slowly pouring some kind of oil over the wounded knuckles. “I’m not the villain.”

Raphael felt his temper spark. “Yeah?” he scoffed. “So that’s why ya burn down towns, take innocent people prisoner, and cut off fuckin’ _limbs_?”

The gentle motions turned rough, but not enough to actually hurt. While obviously angry, Leo was still in control of himself. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, I think I do!” the bigger turtle exploded. “I saw it, Leo! I was _there_ at _Shizuoka_ and _Yamaguchi_! I saw what ya did! I saw what ya ordered the army ta do! _Fuck_ , ya think this is a _game_? The Great Leonardo finally gettin’ ta play warlord, havin’ others ta order around like pawns! How many people you cut ta pieces?”

“Enough!” Leonardo hissed, the grip on Raph’s hand tightening, but he still would not look up. “You have no idea what you’re saying.”

“And ya can’t tell me ya ain’t enjoyin’ this,” Raph scoffed before the other could answer. “Ya always got off ta bossin’ people around. Even been makin’ little bastards!”

The moment he said it, the younger turtle regretted the harsh words, and to cement the fact, Leonardo finally looked up, eyes blazing with fury. Before Raph could take precautions, he found his head snapped to the side, his cheek stinging fiercely from the punch to the face. When he looked over to Leonardo again, he found his brother seething, shaking with barely repressed ire. “DON’T CALL THEM THAT!” he roared. “Don’t you _ever_ call them that!”

Knowing he was in the wrong, but still hurting from the betrayal, the bigger turtle didn’t back down. “How could ya _do_ this, Leo? How could ya –”

“They _took_ them!”

The amount of anguish in the cry was enough to stall the fury that had been building in the ninja’s chest. Because now that they locked eyes, Raph could see the agony his brother had been feeling, the stress, the anxiety, the fear still bubbling at the surface.

“They’d taken them when I was at council,” Leo continued, lip trembling, but there were no tears. “I _trusted_ them and they betrayed me. They took them and I’ve been living in absolute _hell_ for three weeks trying to find them again.”

While he sympathized greatly, probably would have done a lot of the questionable things himself to get back his own children, Raphael couldn’t get over the fact that _Leonardo_ had abandoned his principals so easily. “But ya took all those people prisoner! Ya burned down towns!”

“I never did,” the ninja leader denied, glaring off to the side. “That was Lord Hebi’s ninja. In order to escape they create chaos. No matter the cost.”

“The people –”

“I took them, but they’re not prisoners,” Leo sighed, his face falling tiredly into his hand. “I ordered the army to gather the people to take them to refugee camps April’s been helping to set up. They’d have nowhere else to go, and I couldn’t just let them wander around and get caught up in the middle of any more battles.”

The pieces were slowly starting to come together, but Raph was unable to let go so easily. “But ya attacked the town!”

“It was the only way I could flush out Lord Hebi’s men,” Leonardo insisted, still not meeting Raph’s eyes. “I’ve tried _everything else_ with little success. We need to end this war now. There’s no longer an option for patience.”

A lot of the fight bled away from Raphael as he stared at the grim, exhausted face in front of him. He knew better than to believe the propaganda, knew better than to take the word of panicked civilians to heart when they knew very little about what was actually going on. The legends, the rumors, they were spread by fear, nothing more. And with Leonardo involved, those stories couldn’t all be true. His older brother was a lot of things, but a monster blinded by hate wasn’t one of them.

But there was one sin witnessed that Raphael knew his brother couldn’t explain away so easily. “And what about those men? Ya cut their limbs off. I _saw_ ya do it.”

All expression drained from the older turtle’s face. It became cold, impassive, but Raphael could see the rage simmering just beneath the surface of the falsely calm veneer. “Perhaps it was wrong of me to kill them as I did,” he admitted softly but with no pity, blue eyes flashing. “But those men stole my children. I’m not sorry for what I did.”

To see the deep burning hatred in normally compassionate blue left Raph chilled to his core, but he found he couldn’t blame his brother. Not after knowing the reasons behind the action. Because of all the turtles, Raphael had always understood the darker side of their instincts – that need to protect and extract revenge.

They lapsed into a tense silence that neither seemed capable of breeching, so Leonardo began wrapping the bloodied knuckles. The younger ninja watched, struggling with his emotions, unsure of what he truly felt after learning so much in such a short span of time. He was so confused, still so hurt, but also relieved after knowing there was reason behind Leo’s seeming madness.

Just as the leader finished wrapping, at last Raphael found the courage to ask the biggest question he’d been desperate to ask since finding out that his brother was under the tutelage of Ancient One. “Who is she?”

Blue eyes glanced up briefly before turning away, pouring out the bloodied water into the garden. “Who?”

“The mother,” Raph felt his stomach lurch as he clarified.

There was a long pause in which the bigger ninja thought his brother wouldn’t answer. “That’s…the wrong question.”

“Don’t fuck with me!” he snarled, emotions bursting free once more. “What ya _want_ me ta ask? Who ya bumped uglies with while I been gone?”

Once more Leonardo glared at him, eyes narrowed. It was enough to have the younger quieting, but he held his scowl. Leo didn’t reprimand him, however. Instead, the turtle studied his past lover, eyes scanning across Raphael’s face, leaving him feeling oddly exposed and frustrated.

Still not answering the question, the shogun stood, staring down at his brother. Not liking to be at a disadvantage, Raph quickly scrambled to his feet, amazed to find that he could _loom_ over Leonardo now. He’d grown while he’d been gone but Leo had not. At least not much.

“You haven’t met them yet, have you?” the leader asked slowly.

“What the hell’s that –?”

Without a word, Leo took Raph’s hand in his, and like before, a spark of something past between them. It was enough that it had the bigger ninja shutting up to follow obediently even when the shogun let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaro – ‘asshole’ or ‘bastard’


	29. Lucky Number Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Leo continue their heart to heart while April goes to find the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that this is the theme song for this story:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jylY522Xx1k
> 
> As you can tell, my taste in music is very modern...

Upon entering the house, Raph found that the Ancient One sitting with the tiny panda boy on cushions with the rabbit hovering nearby. April was up, as if just having entered the room, and turned when she heard the door open. When she saw the two turtles, she frowned in concern. Raising an eyebrow at them, April didn’t say a word, even when Leonardo ignored her, not slowing or responding to her silent inquiry.

Instead the shogun walked past everyone without sparing so much as a look, forcing Raph to follow. The big ninja momentarily locked eyes with the rabbit, who glared hatefully back, as if he really thought he could intimidate the turtle. Raph scowled, wishing he could beat some manners into the asshole, but opted to shadow his brother. He was not going to let Leo out of his sights again.

The elder turtle led Raph into the back of the house to one of the rooms the Ancient One had not allowed him to enter. With a pounding heart, he wondered what Leonardo was going to do. He’d mentioned meeting ‘them’ but the younger ninja wasn’t exactly sure who his brother meant by that. Did he mean the babies? Could he…could he possibly mean his lover?

His heart sank at the possibility of coming face to face with the woman Leonardo had chosen as his mate. While he hadn’t seen anyone else come to the house, that didn’t mean that whoever Leonardo’s mate was hadn’t snuck in while Raph was out in the woods. Or she could have possibly arrived with April and the other two, but had rushed into the house as soon as possible to see her children and mate. After all, she wouldn’t have seen the babies in three weeks, and with how hysterical Leo had been when he arrived, Raph could only imagine a mother’s pain.

But upon sliding the _shoji_ open, the big turtle was relieved to find that it was empty save three little turtles. One of the girls was sleeping while Taro and the other were on the floor on their plastrons. Why no one was in here with them infuriated Raph. They could have gotten hurt! They were still so little, what if something had happened to them? They’d been kidnapped before, what if there were enemies nearby?

Leonardo didn’t hesitate to walk into the room as he chirped to the infants. Immediately the two that were awake chirped back, Taro beaming up at his father. The severe features of the shogun melted into something tender, and Raph’s heart twisted painfully at seeing his past lover pick up the boy. When Leo looked like that he was just so…beautiful. Perfect. Raphael had to look away.

His attention was claimed, however, when the baby began chirping at _him_. Glancing back up at the boy, Raph couldn’t help but smile slightly. “Hey, little guy. Ya miss me?”

“You…know him?” Leo asked carefully.

After a moment of hesitation, Leo offered the child to the younger ninja, but Raph declined. He couldn’t hold the child without it hurting, reminding him of what he might have had. “I found him in _Shizuoka_. Been lookin’ after him until the old hag dragged us here.”

That was apparently news to the older turtle, enough so that he ignored the slight against the Ancient One. “The girls?”

“Just saw ‘em for the first time before ya got here.”

Leo nodded slowly. “This is Yoshi,” he introduced Buddy, both of them smiling slightly when the baby twittered in response.

“Ya named him after Dad?”

A blush worked its way onto Fearless’s face, even as he shrugged. “I didn’t know if I’d ever get to return to Earth. I thought April and I were going to be trapped here for the rest of our lives. It…seemed like a good way to honor Sensei.”

The thought of being stranded on an alien world, never to return home was not something Raph hadn’t thought about himself. There had been times when he was with Mona where he wondered the same thing. Although the longest he and his comrades had been cut off from their forces had been several weeks, it had still be frightening. To have spent just over a _year_ on an alien world that didn’t have wide spread technology, and knowing there wasn’t anyone out there looking for them? That must have been terrifying.

“It’s…a good name,” Raph nodded.

Turning towards the sleeping girl, Leo scooped her up with practiced ease. How he managed to balance both her and Taro – _Yoshi_ – without waking the girl was beyond Raph. But with three little ones, the hothead assumed his brother probably had a lot of practice. “This is Sachiko,” he passed her off to Raph, who couldn’t refuse this time. “She’s my youngest.”

A bit panicked to be holding the tiny girl, Raph made sure to be extra careful. Sachiko was smaller than her brother, seemingly more fragile. He didn’t want to hurt her. But as he settled the girl in his arms, watching her squirm in irritation but remaining asleep, he couldn’t help smile. She looked so much like Leo.

An indignant cry sounded from the floor, and turning his attention back to his brother, Raph watched as Leonardo lifted the remaining infant from the floor. There was a fondness in the older turtle’s eyes, a certain sadness, as he settled the last little turtle against him, kissing her head. The act was both endearing and heartbreaking to Raphael.

“This is Mizuki.” He carefully juggled to two children in his arms. “She is the eldest of the three.”

Raphael frowned in thought as he rolled the names around in his head. “They’re…perfect,” he admitted after a moment, when he thought he could speak without choking. “You…you should be proud of ‘em.”

“I am,” Leonardo agreed, before staring at the two babies in his arms. “They’re…They mean everything to me.”

“I can see why.”

The brothers fell quiet, Raph struggling to grasp the fact that his lover really was a father now. He couldn’t look at Leo holding the infants, knowing his heart couldn’t take it. Instead he focused down at the girl in his arms, who was squirming in earnest now, finally waking up. Smiling sadly down at her, Raph couldn’t help but see Leonardo in her. From the shape of her head to her lighter colored scales. She was just like Leo, except…

Little eyes fluttered open, squinting up at Raphael for the first time. The big turtle froze as the tiny features screwed up in obvious confusion, a certain air of curiosity about her. But that’s not what surprised Raph. What stunned him were the big, neon green eyes that blinked up at him.

His innards liquefied as he gawked in astonishment at the girl, who chirped at him inquisitively. He tried to speak, tried to say something, but no sound came out. Snapping his head up to his brother, Raph was once more taken aback when he found Leonardo watching him with trepidation. In his arms, the other two children were also staring at him, attracted by the sounds of their sister. One set of blue-green eyes, the other neon green.

This…this couldn’t be happening. This was _impossible_! But the longer Raph looked between the same green eyes he saw in the mirror every morning, the truth of the situation became undeniably clear. Leonardo’s sudden and inexplicable abandonment of the family, his strange behavior before he left, his urgent need to find Raphael, even his reaction to having first seen his past lover again. It was suddenly all clicked into place, and the big turtle could do nothing but gape at his older brother, heart swelling.

Obviously mistaking the astonishment for something negative, Leonardo was quick to launch into an explanation. “I-I wanted to tell you, Raph, I swear I would never have hidden this from you. I tried to tell you, but I knew you weren’t answering your T-phone, and I couldn’t figure out another way to tell you, s-so April and I asked the Fugitoid to help us. I was trying to tell you, I swear I was, but everything got so m-messed up, it’s…it’s all just so messed up. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t stand it. Unable to listen to any more, heart beating madly against his plastron, Raph lurched forward, grabbing Leonardo behind the neck and crashing their lips together for the first time in over a year. As desperate as he was, the younger ninja just remembered the infants in their arms, making sure not to crush them. He would never hurt _his_ children.

Leo was momentarily stunned, but jerked his head back, away from the bruising kiss. It burned against Raphael’s lips, driving him wild. He needed more. Much more. He couldn’t take it anymore. He _needed_ Leonardo.

His lover, however, stepped back out of his grasp, indignant and surprised. “What was –?”

“I love you!”

Blue eyes were blown wide at the blurted words, but Raph couldn’t help himself. He needed to say it, needed Leonardo to understand. Once the truth was out, Raphael had never felt quite so free in his life. He became a little light headed, his vision blurring around the edges, but he stayed focused on his lover. The bearer of his children.

But as elated as Raph was with the turn of events – unable to truly grasp how or why this had all happened, just knowing that it was _wonderful_ – Leonardo’s expression crumpled into one of despair, before being masked with anger. “Don’t –!” He choked off, turning to glare at the floor. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

The response hurt, but Raph didn’t let it deter him. This was stressful for his lover, even he could recognize that. With everything that had been happening to the leader lately, Raph wasn’t the only one thrown through constant loops. They both just needed time to process this. “I’m not,” he stepped forward, determined to make Leo understand. “That’s why I’m here. I came ta find ya, Leo. I love you.”

With each step he took to get closer, Leo took just as many back, a certain desperation in his air. Raph frowned, distressed by the action. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he stressed. “Leo I…I _do_. I’ve been lookin’ for ya since I got back ta Earth.”

The older turtle would not look at him, frustrating Raphael all the more. “And what about Mona Lisa?”

It was a slap to the face, the resentment, the anger, but he wasn’t stupid enough to have ever believed Leonardo wouldn’t be upset about the past. He just had to explain himself, had to make Leo see, and then everything would turn out right. They could be a family, with Donnie and Mikey – their _children_. The thought warmed Raphael, giving him the drive to push forward, to not become discouraged.

“We’re not together anymore,” he denied. “We ain’t been together for a while.”

“And did you hurt her the same way you hurt me?”

“No!” Raph cried, before reigning himself in. He had to calm down, had to keep himself from getting excited. “No, it wasn’t like that. We had a…a mutual understandin’.”

“Like our ‘understanding’?”

The accusation was bitter, harsh, and it only made the bigger turtle feel worse. “Look, I was a jerk to ya, Leo, I know that, but –”

“A _jerk_?” The hollow laugh was hysterical. “You didn’t even say _goodbye_!”

“I didn’t know what ta say!” Raph snapped, his heckles raised despite his best efforts. “Whadya have wanted me ta do? Give ya a goodbye _kiss_?!”

“Literally _anything else_ would’ve been better than…that just…” the leader struggled with himself before doing the one thing Raph hated about his brother the most. He shut down. He cut himself off, turning cold. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

Except it _did_ matter. Even Raph could see it mattered very deeply to his lover. Even though he was angry, his desperation won out in the end. If he was truly going to win Leo back, he needed to be as transparent as possible. He needed to be completely truthful. “Listen, I know what I did was wrong, Leo. I was being a dumbass. And I know I…I hurt ya. But I’m here now. I-I wanna be with ya, Leo.”

Blue eyes were hard and icy as they glared at the younger ninja. It was probably the most terrifying thing Raph had ever had to do, facing his scorned lover. “You mean until you get sick of me again and something new catches your eye.”

The accusation was like a kick to the stomach. “NO!” Raphael snarled, unable to quell the offense. “How could ya even _think_ –?”

“I don’t want to talk about this now,” Leo interrupted, turning to the door.

Amazing! For the first time in their lives it was _Fearless_ who was running away? “How can ya _be_ like this?” he snarled, unable to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing his brother by the back of the shell. With his arms filled, there wasn’t much Leo could do to stop him. “You came out here ta find me! Ya came ta bring me back and now that I’m here, yer runnin’ away?”

Leonardo stopped immediately, yet there was no thrill of victory in Raphael as he watched his lover turn. Those wonderfully deep eyes were not even cold anymore. They were empty. “I wasn’t going to bring you home.”

Raph’s hand fell away. “What? But ya came out here ta bring me back...”

“No,” the older turtle denied, “I went to look for you. To tell you the truth about what happened. I wasn’t going to bring you home.” Raphael stared at his brother, heart stopping in his chest. “I’m not going to let you use me and then run off again. You made your choice, Raphael. Let me make mine.”

Leo turned and walked out of the room, leaving a wounded Raphael behind. It took the big turtle several second before he could free himself from the pain. And when he did, the anger was back. Because Leo didn’t know what he was talking about. He wasn’t thinking clearly! Raph had to _make_ him understand!

Charging after the leader, the big turtle made it back into the main sitting room, intent on working this out _now_ despite what his lover said. “LEO!”

He stopped dead, however, when he remembered that they were not alone. Leo hadn’t been fleeing, it had been a tactical retreat. Sitting beside the damn rabbit, Raph could see that his brother was tense, but projected an air of control. The others were staring at the large turtle, frowning as though he were the one with the problem and not the shogun.

Coming forward, April guided Raphael by the arm further into the room, inviting him to sit as a way to lessen the awkwardness. She attempted to take the infant from him, but one growl had her backing off. Sensing the rising tension, especially when Raph locked eyes with the rabbit, it was the Ancient One who redirected the flow of energy. “ _Yatso_ ,” she snapped, pulling an annoyed groan from the big turtle. “Where are your brothers?”

That had the others in the room sitting up a bit straighter. “Donnie and Mikey are here?” April blurted in English. “I-is Casey…?”

Raph had the attention of everyone in the room, but he only watched Leonardo. The older turtle’s eyes were bright and focused. “Dunno,” he admitted with a slight shrug, ceasing anymore movements when a tiny squeak from his arms alerted him that the infant was getting grumpy at all the shouting and moving. “Last I saw them was in _Yamaguchi_ , trying to run to the mountains before some _asshole_ stabbed me in the side.”

The rabbit’s scowl was black and Raph answered it with one of his own. Determined, April interrupted the glaring contest and came to stand in front of the hothead, blue eyes narrowed. “How long ago? Do you know where they’d be? Any way to contact them?”

“Don gave me a tracking device,” he managed to pull the ruined bracelet out of his pocket while the little girl wiggled, chirping at him. “But it was busted.”

“Is there any other way you could contact them?”

“Well, we were tracking _you_ before…all this,” he glanced over at Leo, who wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Traced your bio sign ‘cause we figured human DNA would be easier.”

The young woman turned to the Ancient One, her eyes pleading. The old turtle winced uncomfortably but eventually sighed, digging in her pocket and pulling out some kind of black device. “You may use it, April-chan. _But!_ Be wary. And come straight back.”

“ _Hai_! Thank you, Ancient One!” the human beamed, bowing low before turning to Leonardo, pausing.

The leader shook his head. “You go. Bring them back. We’ll be here.”

Smiling, April rushed over to the shogun, squeezing his shoulder and planting big kisses on the infants’ heads in such a familiar fashion, it actually had Raph jealous. The kunoichi went up to Raph too, doing the same with the baby in his arms. “Do you want to go with me?” she asked quietly, so as not to re-spark any heated debate.

Glancing back at Leonardo who was sitting a little too close to that rabbit, the big turtle shook his head. “No. I’ll…just tell those guys I’m here and okay when ya see ‘em.”

Nodding her understanding, probably knowing more than what Raph was comfortable with, she turned to the others in the room, bowing low. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And with the human rushing back out of the house, shoving on her _kabuto,_ Raph tensed as his only true ally was gone. Trying to ignore the others and the awkward silence that descended upon the group, Raphael tried his best to come up with something to say, to show Leonardo that he was sorry. Deep in thought he glanced down at the youngest cradled in his arms. _Sachiko_ , he remembered. His youngest daughter’s name was Sachiko. Looking into her innocent trusting face soothed the brute. _Just breathe, Raph,_ he told himself sternly. He could get through this, this was just Leo’s initial reaction. Once he cooled down, once emotions settled, Leonardo would realize he was being hasty in his rejections, would realize how sincere Raphael was, and then they could start their own family together.

That’s just how it had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I envision the next chapter will sort of be like that awkward family Thanksgiving where everyone hates each other, but no one wants to actually start anything. Except Raph. He'll want to start EVERYTHING.


	30. Grand Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Leo continue their talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that you guys are all too nice to me. Thanks for all the love so far! It helps me write faster. :) 
> 
> And don't worry, things will pick up again next chapter.

When April was gone, Raph trapped alone with strangers and a scorned lover who might as well have been a stranger, he tried to think of something he could do to get Leonardo alone. They hadn’t finished their conversation – not by a long shot – but the leader was being stubborn. Thoughtless. If he would just listen to Raph…!

“Leonardo-san,” the Ancient One snapped, eyeing the shogun up and down, dark eyes severe. “Do not be rude! Are you not going to introduce us to your mate?”

Both Raph and Leo startled, but before the big turtle could allow any pleasure at the title to show, Leonardo stomped it out completely. “He is not my mate.” The reply was so cold it caused the younger ninja to wince. “ _Dono,_ this is Hamato Raphael,” he turned to the other two occupants in the room, speaking more specifically to the panda. “He and I grew up together in the same ninja clan. Raphael-san, this is Lord Noriyuki and Miyamoto Usagi.”

The detachment of the introductions was clinical. There was no feeling or emotion behind it at all. In his haste to find his brother again, Raph realized he’d forgotten how bitter, cruel even, Leonardo could become when hurting. All without realizing how deeply he cut.

Trying to focus on the others, however, Raph turned to find the panda staring at him in something akin to awe. The dark eyes of the child were wary, even a little scared, but curious. “You are most welcome, Raphael-san,” the _daimyo_ nodded graciously before eyeing Leonardo, clearly wanting to ask something, but unsure how. “It is an honor to meet yet another friend to the Shogun.”

After only a prompting glare from the Ancient One, Raph bowed back to the lord, marveling that the ‘Great and Terrible Lord Noriyuki’ he’d been hearing so much about actually turned out to be just a little kid. But then again, the Shogun hadn’t turned out to be a demon, either. Just a very stressed out, pissy turtle. “ _Arigatou gozaimasu_ ,” he managed to spit out, sounding halfway sincere.

There was another brief lull before the rabbit spoke. “Raphael-san, if you please, how did you come find this place?” The tone was cool, still within the realm of politeness, but suspicious.

“I brought him here,” the Ancient One snapped, as if daring Usagi to question her judgement. The rabbit only bowed his head low to the old turtle in respect. “It is not good for the Shogun to be separated long from his mate.”

At the use of the title, Raph couldn’t stop himself from puffing up, sending a triumphant smirk the rodent’s way, even while Leonardo grimaced, muttering something under his breath. After glaring a moment longer at the big turtle, Usagi turned back to the shogun. “I am certain you will be most pleased to be reunited with your brothers, Leonardo-san.”

After failing to turn Raph into a subject of suspicion, that asshole was trying to save face and win brownie points? Raphael found himself biting back a growl, quieting only when he felt the baby in his hold hitting his arm. Glancing down, he found the little girl struggling to move, no longer appreciating her horizontal position. Happy to help, Raph carefully sat Sachiko up so she could turn curious eyes around the room. Upon seeing her siblings and bearer, she chirped excitedly, even flapping her arms up and down. The parents of the girl smiled warmly, neither realized it.

“Are you a ninja also, Raphael-san?”

Forcibly tearing his eyes away from his child, Raph looked at the panda. “ _Hai_ ,” he nodded, frowning at the lord’s ill-concealed excitement.

“I have never met ninja before,” the child smiled brightly. “I would have never thought ninja could be so honorable until I was introduced to Shogun-sama.”

“Yeah, that’s Fearless,” Raph nodded, intrigued by the level of respect his brother had garnered within his year on the planet. Especially since part of that year had to have been him being pregnant, right? But Leonardo always did work fast. “Honorable.”

“Shogun-sama,” Lord Noriyuki turned towards the other turtle, who was currently bouncing his two children in his arms. Some warlord. “Now that Raphael-san is here, and your brothers will be returning soon with April-san, would you show me your ninja training?”

Leo paused, the act telling if you knew the turtle. “Perhaps,” was the vague response.

Before the child could ask anything else, his enthusiasm at having ninja around evident, the Ancient One tempered the young _daimyo_. “Lord Noriyuki.” She stood, dark eyes glittering, “If you would come with me, I will show you to your room.”

It was clear that the panda didn’t exactly want to leave, finding the turtles much more interesting. But since he was receiving no help from Leonardo, who he silently pleaded to with big eyes, he eventually nodded. “Very well.”

As the two left the room, Leo bowing his head to passing lord while Usagi stood and did the same, Raph watched the pair, curious as to the relationship between the _daimyo_ and shogun. As she walked by, however, the Ancient One sent the hothead a pointed look. “Center,” she muttered, before continuing on her way.

 _Really? Now?_ Raph thought incredulously. She wanted him to meditate right now? Fat chance! He wasn’t going _anywhere_ with that rabbit so near Leonardo. There was something about the samurai that he couldn’t stand, and it honestly had little to do with the fact that the fuck stabbed him. That jealous feeling increased exponentially as he watched when the rabbit retook a seat _his_ eldest daughter reached out to grab at the Second’s sleeve. The rodent had the audacity to smile affectionately at the girl, Leonardo watching on with fondness.

Feeling his teeth crack as he clenched them tightly, the big turtle decided he was done being patient. “So how’d it happen?” he asked in English.

At the question the other two adults looked his way, the rabbit glowering while Leonardo frowned thoughtfully. Blue eyes shifted to Usagi momentarily before asking in Japanese. “How did what happen?”

Rolling his eyes, feeling his stomach churn with all the violent emotions that needed release, Raph sneered at his older brother. If Leo wanted to speak in Japanese, fine by him. “How’d ya get knocked up?” he asked bluntly, smirking when a blush bloomed across the shogun’s face. “’Cause last time I checked – and I checked pretty thoroughly – you were a guy.”

Yoshi was trying to push out of Leo’s arms, giving the leader an excuse to focus on his son. Having been separated so long, Raph couldn’t imagine his brother wanting to let go of his babies if he could help it. But knowing that they would likely get away, Leo carefully set the boy down on his plastron before moving Mizuki around to sit in front of him. So as to keep them entertained, he pulled out a ribbon, the blue bringing back so many memories for Raphael as the little ones pulled and chewed on it.

“Professor Honeycutt was running tests before – before we landed here,” Leo explained after a moment, Raph slightly amused by the switch to English. Apparently Big Brother wanted the private conversation after all.

“What he find?”

Leo hesitated, looking to the rabbit. Some sort of silent conversation passed between the two, and Raph was furious when he realized he couldn’t follow. There had once been a time when all he and Leo had to do was glance at each other to know what the other was thinking. That had been a long time ago now.

The rabbit stood, gazing down at the shogun with understanding. “I will return with refreshments,” he offered, placing a too-familiar hand on the older turtle’s shoulder, allow it to linger far too long for Raph’s taste. In a fit of petty jealousy, Raph was sorely tempted to stick his foot out and trip the asshole on his way to the kitchen, but managed to restrain himself. “Bastard,” he muttered.

“Enough,” Leonardo hissed once the rodent was out of the room. “Usagi-san is my friend.”

“Yeah? What kinda _friend_?” Because if they were friends the way Raph was beginning to think they might be friends, there was nothing in the universe that would stop him from murdering the damn rabbit here and now.

Perplexity flittered across the leader’s face. “Usagi-san is a very _dear_ friend, Raph. He was the one that found April and I when we first landed on this planet. He went out of his way to help us and brought us to the Ancient One. I’m in his debt.”

Raph absolutely _hated_ the sound of that. “Debt? What kinda debt?”

“Would you stop?” Leo snapped, voice deceptively soft. “If it weren’t for Usagi-san I probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

That had the big turtle pausing. “Whadya mean?”

Frustrated, angry, a sigh escaped the shogun. “The beam down had been…rough. I thought…I thought I’d lose the children after.”

Horror spread over Raph’s face at just the thought of never getting to meet the little ones, of Leonardo hurting. He remembered his own beam down, how absolutely terrible he’d felt, how his innards had felt like they’d been twisted and wrapped around him from the outside before being able to orient himself. Imagining a pregnant Leonardo suffering so badly, to the point he might have miscarried, left a sour taste in Raph’s mouth that seeped down into his stomach sickeningly.

“They’re okay, though, right?” he asked, shifting so that his legs were out in front of him as he set Sachiko in between. “They look healthy.”

“They are,” Leonardo agreed. “Thanks to the Ancient One. And April. She’s gone above and beyond the call of friendship to help me."

Of course Fearless would twist this until he felt guilty that he’d had help. But then again, Raph supposed there was merit to the guilt. April had not only gone with Leo to confront Raphael, leaving Earth behind, but she’d also unexpectedly been stranded with him through all of this crazy adventure. This was certainly much more than she would have bargained for, but she still stood with Leo faithfully. When this was all over, Raph decided he would have to find a way to thank her for all that she’d done. It reminded him, too, of how he should have stayed, how he should have been the one to support Leonardo through all of this.

A cry from Mizuki drew the adults’ attention and they watched in amusement as the girl attempted to crawl. It wasn’t working so well, the tiny girl mostly just rocking back and forth with the occasional scooting forward. She was not discouraged, however, from her attempts. While Yoshi was content to pull at the ribbon, Sachiko watched her siblings, falling forward onto her hands – scaring Raph to death – and catching herself as she tried to mimic her sister’s movements. Now that he took a good look at them, their sire realized how very much alike the sisters were.

“So when’d ya find out?” Raph asked, keeping an eye on the little ones closely.

“About a month after you left,” Leo reached out and petted the back of Yoshi’s shell. The baby cooed contently.

That meant that he’d known when he’d texted Raph. The thought of his lover being frightened, confused, and alone while trying to deal with the unknown ripped at his heart. He should have been there! “How?” he choked out.

“I sensed something in meditation,” Leo explained quietly. “April helped me confirm I wasn’t going crazy afterwards.”

“What ‘bout the tests the Fugitoid gave ya?”

Leonardo rubbed the bridge between his eyes, the stress of the day weighing heavily upon him. “Nothing was found conclusively. He had several theories as to how… _this_ ,” he caught Mizuki just before she face planted on the wood floor, “was possible.”

When there was no elaboration, Raph grunted. “And?”

“Right,” Leo muttered. “The first theory was that I was either female before the mutation and whoever handled me to put me in that bowl for Sensei was male and it warped my physiology, or vice versa, I was male and a woman put me in the bowl. But the Fugitoid didn’t think that was seriously the case.”

“So what did he think happened?”

There was an uncomfortable twist of the leader’s lips. “It’s more likely that I developed a-a womb due to the Kraathatrogon DNA.”

Raph stared flatly at his brother. “What?”

Leonardo wouldn’t look at him anymore, and it was easy to see it was killing him to have to explain this. “The mutagen is essentially Kraathatrogon milk, right? So whatever is mutated with the ooze has trace amounts of the worm’s DNA. And according to Professor Honeycutt, Kraathatrogon DNA is in and of itself ‘flexible,’ malleable even in Dimension X.”

“O-kay,” the bigger turtle was trying his hardest to follow the logic, but as always, any talk about Dimension X confused the hell out of him. “So the unstable DNA made ya have babies?”

“Essentially,” Leo shrugged, but focused on Sachiko, who was cooing back and forth with Yoshi, her green eyes on the ribbon. “According to the Fugitoid, Kraathatrogon can change sexes if there isn’t, or not many, of one sex in a herd. It happens when Kraathatrogon are young and sense the hormones of the group. If there is too many of one sex or none at all, some change in order to continue the population.”

Well. Raph had no real response for that. He’d always known his older brother was special, he hadn’t realized just how much. “So ya think ya been… _changin’_ since you were a kid?”

“That’s what it looked like,” Leo admitted, leaning forward and plucking Sachiko from out of Raph’s protection. Without thought, he brought the girl up and kissed her soundly before setting her beside her brother. The two infants proceeded to suck on the ribbon together while Mizuki was still invested in trying to move.

There was so much more that Raph wanted to know about this, not quite able to wrap his head around the fact that the big brother he’d once idolized wasn’t quite the brother he thought he was. But despite wanting to ask a million questions, he couldn’t get the damn words out. Wasn’t exactly sure _what_ to ask. If Donnie were here, he’d probably be asking all the right things, but Raph couldn’t. Instead, he ended up just staring at Leo in wonder until a very great thought struck him.

“So ya can have more?” he asked quietly, finally locking onto blue eyes.

Fearless gave him a deer-in-the-headlights stare, but was saved from answering when Usagi came back into the room. The samurai padded in, reclaiming his seat beside the shogun and setting a tray down on a low table. There was tea for the adults, but also three bottles. Leo smiled in gratitude at the rabbit.

“Would you like to feed one of them?” Leo asked, taking Mizuki and offering her to Raph before he could answer.

But not needing any prompting, Raph held his eldest for the first time, only slightly squeamish as he took up the bug-juice. Unlike her siblings, however, Mizuki didn’t seem keen on having her sire holding her. She glared up at Raphael, squirming to get away. She even chirped out her distress, struggling to roll over in Raph’s arms. It actually hurt the big turtle’s feelings that his own daughter apparently hated him, but Leo was watching in amusement, making comforting clicking sounds back to the girl.

“She’s like that with most people,” the leader explained as he picked up Yoshi and Sachiko, setting them on his crossed legs, somehow balancing the two while Usagi passed him the bottles. With practiced ease, the shogun began feeding both at once. Ninja ingenuity could be used in parenting it seemed. Seeing his lover like this, soft and rather maternal made Raph’s heart stutter.

He’d been such a fool.

With the rabbit back in the room, all private conversation was left behind. When Lord Noriyuki and the old turtle returned, Raph knew he’d lost his chance to get more information from his brother. But having the infants to distract him wasn’t so bad. He enjoyed holding them even if Mizuki wouldn’t stop scowling at him. Having two of his three children like him was pretty good, right?

Lord Noriyuki, as it turned out, was an obvious fan of Leonardo, and began asking the warlord many questions about his recent battles. It was all asked under the guise of business and reports, but it was quite obvious that the kid just wanted stories. After a lifetime of fanboying over heroes, Leonardo had finally become one, accumulating his own fan in return.

After the kids were fed, Lord Noriyuki included, the Ancient One snatched Yoshi from Leo and began patting his shell to help him burp. Leo appeared very comfortable allowing the old woman to handle his children, which annoyed Raph. Particularly because the older ninja had been hesitant to let _him_ hold one of them at first.

It was late, the sun having set behind the trees, and it was decided by the Ancient One that they should retire for the evening. She kept eluding to a ‘big day’ tomorrow, but whether she actually had anything planned or not remained to be seen.

Leo stood, taking the opportunity to get away from everyone, and held out an arm to Raph, silently demanding he hand over Mizuki. The little girl was more than happy to get away from her sire, causing the big turtle to frown. Leo walked with the Ancient One to his room to put the babies down for the night without looking back. Usagi, Lord Noriyuki’s self-appointed guard apparently, walked the young lord to his room.

Left alone, listening to the shuffles and murmurs throughout the rest of the house reminded the turtle of his own exhaustion. Leaning back on his hands, he stared up at the ceiling. It had been a wild day, another emotional rollercoaster from hell. Now that the big reveals were out of the way, he hoped that things would start to settle down.

A part of him wanted to follow Leo into his room, to help with the children, but he wasn’t sure he’d be welcome. After so long apart, so much unresolved tension between them, Raph knew that Leonardo needed his space. When he’d come here to be reunited with his children, the _last_ thing he’d expected was to be reunited with his lover. When things took Fearless by surprise, he didn’t always react smoothly to them. He was a guy that planned for every situation, but if there was one that sprung up out of left field…?

 _Patience_. That was the key to surviving this and winning Leo back. He just had to allow Leo to adjust to having Raphael back in his life and things would work out.

He kept telling himself that as he stood and made his way to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dono – lord  
> Arigatou gozaimasu – Thank you (more polite than just Arigatou)


	31. Chasm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April returns with Donnie, Mikey, and Casey, while Raph faces some hard realities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I haven't been feeling well this last week.

The next morning found the home of the Ancient One surprisingly calm. Raphael woke to the disgruntled cries of a baby, which had him bolting upright and searching for the source. Stumbling out of his room, he found his eldest daughter demanding to be fed, Leonardo muttering to her as he picked her up to feed. Upon seeing the still sleepy giant in the doorway, a wry twist formed on Leo’s lips. “Good morning,” he offered amiably enough. “Care to help?”

Feeling pretty good about the start of the morning despite still being tired, Raph plopped down to help feed the kids before volunteering to get breakfast for himself and his lover. He received an appreciative smile, which had his chest feeling tight. It actually made him believe that if he kept on at this rate, he would have Leo back before they beamed back to the Fugitoid’s ship.

The morning continued on in this peaceful vein for the turtles. There were little words passed between the lovers, but Raphael decided that it was okay. They had both had a rather exhausting day yesterday, the quietness was nice. It was something Leonardo needed. Needed the time to collect himself and chew on the conversations from the day before.

They had just put the triplets down for their morning naps, Leonardo excusing himself to go to the garden for meditation, when Raphael found himself with nothing to do. Not wanting to be stuck alone with the rabbit and Lord Noriyuki – or, God forbid, get caught being idle around the Ancient One! – Raph went to practice. Upon finding an appropriate place, he took a few minutes to stretch out his side. While a fast healer, he hoped that the stab wound had mended completely. Glancing over at the rabbit, who had just walked outside, Raph briefly wondered if he could bait the guy into a spar.

The panda was out enjoying tea nearby, keeping a curious eye on the shogun as well as the bigger turtle. Raph couldn’t help but smirk, deciding to give the kid a show. After stretching, the turtle pulled off his shirt as he fell into a ready stance. Pulling out his sai, giving them an extra twirl to show off, he moved into his katas. It felt good to actually be practicing again and not just sitting around or scrubbing floors. As he moved, he couldn’t stop from peeking over at Leonardo, hoping to catch blue eyes watching him.

Almost fifteen minutes went by like this, Raph preforming his heart out in the hopes of gaining Leo’s attention, Leo meditating silently with his eyes closed, when there came a loud, obnoxious laugh. Both turtles perked up at the familiar sound. The cavalry had finally arrived.

After another minute, not only did April appear through the trees, but Donnie, Mikey, and Casey. And the moment the group saw Raph, they ran the rest of the way to him, nearly plowing the big turtle over. “RAPH!” Mikey cried, flinging himself into his big brother shamelessly. “Dude! You’re okay! We were worried about you, man!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay,” he patted his brother’s shell awkwardly.

“Why didn’t you use your tracker?” Donatello nagged, looking Raphael over critically, poking at his still bandaged side with concern. “What happened? Did you clean this well? It’s not infected is it?”

It was hard fending off his brothers’ well-meaning attacks, but just before he was about to lose his temper, a smooth voice interrupted the reunion. “He’s fine. He’s thick skinned.”

Watching the younger turtles’ heads snap up so fast, their eyes about the size of a blue whale was probably the funniest thing Raphael had ever seen. The younger turtles stared at their eldest brother who came strolling over to the group as if they’d seen a ghost. It actually wasn’t far from the truth. And the moment the initial shock wore off, both turtles _launched_ themselves into Leonardo’s arms.

“LEO!”

Both Mikey and Donnie clung to Leonardo, tears streaming from everyone’s eyes. “Leo, bro!” Mikey sobbed, nuzzling against the older ninja’s cheek. “Y-you’re here! You’re really h-here!”

“I’m s-sorry, Leo,” Donnie buried his face into his brother’s neck. “I-I should’ve f-found you sooner. I should h-have looked h-harder!”

Leonardo held his brothers, clinging to them fiercely with his eyes squeezed shut. Raphael couldn’t hear anything specific, but the low murmurs of comfort were not completely drown out. An unexpected jolt of jealousy shot through the turtle as he watched the reunion. Because he had not received such warmth, no tenderness from the older turtle. But to be fair, Leonardo had been caught by surprise with Raphael’s appearance – and Leo wasn’t embittered towards Donatello or Michelangelo.

When the initial emotions subsided, Leonardo managed to pull away slightly, smiling at his younger brothers. “It’s so good to see you two,” he held onto their shoulders before drawing them back into another embrace. “I missed you both.”

Raph continued to watch, feeling displaced. Left out. It had been so long since the four of them had been together, and here he was, on the outside looking in. A hand on his shoulder startled him from his thoughts. Turning, it was only then that the big turtle realized the humans had been forgotten, too. April was watching him with concern. “You okay?” she asked quietly.

His initial reaction was to sneer, because of course he was okay. Why wouldn’t he be okay? He finally had all of his brothers together again. He had his friends. He even had _children_. Why wouldn’t he be okay?

But staring down into the watery blue eyes of the kunoichi, Raph knew he couldn’t hide that he wasn’t okay. Not really. He was still hurting, still shocked about everything that had happened. Things weren’t going the way he’d thought they would. And for some reason, as he watched his brothers still having their private moment together, his emotions came crashing back down on him. Because here he was, alone, his entire world having been turned upside down. Nothing was the same, everything would be different, and right now he wasn’t sure how things would end up. Those niggling little spears of doubt that he had been fighting against so hard at night were beginning to consume him.

“Fine,” he snapped, hoping she couldn’t sense how the simple question had upset him so badly.

Turning, he stalked towards the house, stomping in after the rabbit had ushered the _daimyo_ into the house when the others had arrived. Agitated for reasons he wasn’t willing to examine too closely, he went to the only source he knew that would calm him down. Heading straight for the sitting room he found the Ancient One with the children. They must have woken up while they’d been outside. Almost instantly the tension began to ease in his shoulders at the sight of his babies. He plopped down beside Sachiko, taking a deep breathe to get a hold of himself as he picked up the little girl.

“Why are you here, _Yatsu_?” the old turtle frowned. “Why are you not with your brothers?”

Raphael scowled bitterly. “They’re busy.”

Lord Noriyuki entered the room and sat near Raph, playing with Yoshi, while Usagi made certain that he was in between the _daimyo_ and the big turtle. It was clear he didn’t trust Raphael around the lord despite the fact that he was Leonardo’s brother. The turtle even suspected that the rabbit didn’t even trust him around the infants. That thought especially infuriated him. These were _his babies_!

The new arrivals eventually entered the house, Mikey’s loud voice filling the space. The rabbit and Lord Noriyuki flinched back slightly at the sheer decibels the youngest ninja could achieve which had Raph smirking meanly. The differences between the cultures would be fun to exploit later. But watching as his youngest brother’s eyes widened in fascination when they caught sight of the rabbit sitting stiffly beside a curious little panda, holding ‘Buddy’ promised to be entertaining.

“AWWW!!” Mikey cried, rushing forward and latching on to Usagi, rubbing his cheek against the appalled rabbit. “Look, guys! It’s a fluffy bunny! He’s so _soft_!”

 _Extremely_ uncomfortable, Usagi attempted to pry off the cuddly turtle while Raphael couldn’t help but throw his head back laughing. The sound boomed throughout the room, and it only amused Raph further when he heard a wonderful little giggle from the girl in his arms. His baby was laughing!

When he got himself under better control, he turned and found Leonardo’s eyes zeroed in on him and the daughter in his arms. It was a look he hadn’t seen in a long time, but had never been able to decipher. Before he could question his lover, the moment was ruined when Mikey also heard the innocent giggles. When he turned to the source to the sound, finding his older brother holding yet _another_ baby turtle, even as Mizuki decided to make her presence known by an unhappy cry and Yoshi chirping, it was easy to pinpoint the moment Mikey’s brain exploded.

“BABIES?!” he squealed in absolute delight.

By that time Donatello caught sight of the children as well, and he turned an exhausted exasperated expression on Raphael. “Seriously,” he drawled. “How do you _always_ find baby turtles?”

Plucking up Mizuki, Mikey nuzzled the girl before she could even let out a surprised squeak. “Aww! Baby turtles are so _cute_!” Turning wide blue eyes over to Leo, an odd look of understanding lit his features. “Leo,” he breathed in awe. “You had babies?”

Raph could clearly see the anxiety in Leonardo’s eyes, but Donnie’s groan saved the leader from having to answer right away. “How many times do I have to tell you, _Mikey_ , males can’t –”

“I did.”

Everything in the house fell silent at the confession as Don and Casey stared at their old leader in absolute shock. Mikey, in contrast, smiled so big, his face looked like it was going to split in half. Raph tried not to blush when all eyes fell to _him_ next as the dots were being properly connected. When the information was processed enough that they could blink again, everyone leaned forward to get a better look at the children. With both parents in the room to compare the children against, the newly arrived adults instantly found similarities that were evident.

While Donnie’s jaw had hit the floor, Casey nearly fell over, gaping between the two oldest turtles. “WHAT?!”

“This…this makes _no_ sense!” Donnie shrieked. “I…I mean – How is this even _possible_?!”

Leonardo was clearly uncomfortable, his face flushed dark. Raph wasn’t much better, not quite able to look at the others, so he focused his attention on Sachi. Her bright green eyes stared up at him before she smiled. Apparently noticing the shogun’s discomfort, Usagi stood and jerked his head at the _daimyo._ The panda appeared put out, not exactly excited about always having to be dragged away when things were getting interesting – despite the fact that he couldn’t understand the English flying around the room – but he didn’t say a word. Instead he stood and left the family to become reacquainted with one another. But not before handing Leonardo Yoshi, who cuddled his bearer happily. As he passed by the shogun, the rabbit laid a hand on Leo’s shoulder, squeezing it and allowing it to linger. Worse was the rather soft smile the older turtle shot the rodent.

Feeling the vein in his forehead throb as he suppressed a growl, Raph was thankful when the others were gone. He was about to sigh in relief, but noticed that the Ancient One was still parked in her seat, watching him with glittering eyes. “And you’re still here, because…?” he sneered.

The old woman frowned, standing to snatch Yoshi from the surprised shogun. “You are rude,” she reprimanded hypocritically as she regained her seat. “Poor Leo-chan. Having to put up with _you_.”

Mikey laughed meanly, still hugging Mizuki, who actually had the nerve to _smile_ at her uncle! Raphael shot the girl a betrayed look before glaring blackly at the Ancient One. “Ya know what, ya old –”

“Raphael,” Leo snapped. “Show some respect –”

“Do not trouble yourself, Leonardo-san,” the Ancient One waved off, before gesturing for the others to sit. She muttered under her breathe, before eyeing Raphael briefly. “At least you make pretty babies.”

“DUDE!” Mikey burst out laughing again, this time Mizuki joining him. “She. is. _hilarious_! Who are you?” he grinned at the old woman, adoring how humiliated his eldest siblings looked.

“I am the Ancient One.”

“The Ancient One?” Mikey snorted. “If you wanted a nickname, I could have _totally_ thought of a _lot_ better names than that.”

“ _Boke_ ,” the old turtle snorted, but there was a shadow of a smile on her lips.

Stumbling over, Donnie sat down hard, staring at the baby turtles as if they were the most amazing things he’d ever seen. His brown eyes lit up like the first time he’d gotten to play with Kraang technology, as Mikey willingly passed Mizuki to the genius for a turn. “So they’re mutants, not native…” he trailed off in awe.

Casey sat beside April, not understanding the exchange in Japanese, but watching the infants with interest. Leo was the only one left standing. He shifted anxiously as if not knowing what he should be doing. He was finally reunited with his family, yet he was uncomfortable around them. Taking a moment to work up his courage, Raph offered for his lover to sit beside him silently.

It hurt when the turtle hesitated. It was more than just a moment, true concern flashing across Leonardo’s face before he eventually sat beside the immediate younger turtle. Raph tried to bury the hurt the hesitation caused down deep. But when Leo settled between the Ancient One and his lover, he more than gratefully accepted Sachiko from Raph, the need for him to have one of his children quite evident.

“Before you ask,” the shogun began as Mikey started to windup. “Let’s just be clear. Yes, these are my children. They were born nearly seven months ago. Their conception was why I left so I could tell Raphael first, but things obviously didn’t go as planned. And,” he paused, sorrow stained his features before he clamped down on his emotions. “And I’m sorry. I should have just told you guys. I’m sorry you had to hear about our leaving from Kirby.”

There was a pause before Casey held up his hand. “Wait. Whadya mean ‘hear it from Kirby’?”

Now it was April’s turn to pause. “You… _didn’t_ hear about us leaving from my dad?”

“NO!” the young man exploded. “He didn’t tell us _shit_! If Raph hadn’t punched ‘im in the face –!”

“You _punched_ my dad in the face?!”

Raphael bristled. “Well if he hadn’t fuckin’ _lied_ ‘bout shit and just _told_ us you guys were gone –!”

“Your dad’s all right, April,” Donnie attempted to reassure the furious young woman. “It was just –”

“Aww, guys! Why’dya gotta fight! You’re gunna upset the little dudes!”

Things dissolved into heated argument, Raph at the forefront of it. The pent up frustration he’d been feeling breaking out. But a loud _BOOM_ had everyone jumping, the infants squawking in protest. Turning to the source of the noise, they found the Ancient One standing, having dropped the thickest looking book Raphael had ever seen to the floor. As everyone continued to gawk, the old turtle smiled down at the young, upset faces cheerfully. “I will make tea,” she announced, before shuffling out of the room.

As she left, Leonardo did not hesitate to take control. “Let’s just start again,” he sent warning glares at April and Raph especially, who were still in a glare-off with each other. “Since this has apparently been one big disaster after another, why don’t I start from the beginning?”

Receiving no complaints, Leo launched into the tale of his adventures with April. It was the first time Raph heard the story in sequence, and he found himself listening avidly. From the time Leo found out he was pregnant to his time in space was fairly straight forward. They’d figured most of that out themselves. But what became hard to listen to was their lives here on Terre 390-7. Leo gave no real details, no emotional information about their time on this planet despite April also chiming in now and again, but for whatever reason, Raphael kept getting clear pictures of his brother’s time here, flashes of vivid images. It was almost as though he’d seen them in his dreams…

The younger turtles and Casey found it hard to swallow that Leonardo was the shogun, and that April was his true but unofficial second. A brief round of questions erupted on that front, the others clearly upset with having seen their leader doing morally questionable acts, but Leo managed to shut down the outrage rather quickly. While not getting into it fully, the amount of pain in their older brother’s eyes when he spoke of the betrayal of someone close to them helping Lord Hebi’s forces stealing the children, of his frantic search for weeks, insured that no one questioned his counter actions again – at least for the time being. And as he watched the devastation in his lover’s eyes, rage filled Raphael’s breast, wishing he had been there to help Leonardo, been there to stop the abductions.

By the time the vague tale was concluded, the room was silent, no one sure what to say or how to respond. They hadn’t even realize when the Ancient One had returned at some point and served each of them tea until the calming scent of jasmine wafted to their noses. Leo, who steadily held the gazes of the room, head held high, slowly brought his tea cup to his lips. “The child you saw, the panda, is Lord Noriyuki, the _daimyo_ I have sworn my allegiance. There was an attempt on his life before you arrived. That’s why April brought him here.”

“You came at probably the most confusing time of this war,” April added with a sigh. “Things haven’t exactly been going well for us personally despite the victories of the army.”

“So?” Casey turned to stare at the young woman. “Let’s just get outta here. We can call the Fugitoid and go _home_.”

“We can’t just leave!” April snarled. “We have duties, responsibilities!”

“This ain’t even our planet,” Raph argued, agreeing fully with his friend. “We should get outta here. _Now._ ”

“And abandon these people?” Leonardo sneered, disgust clear in his voice. “I vowed to see this war to its completion.”

“Ya don’t owe these people _shit_ ,” Raph snarled. “Just ‘cause they duped ya inta being shogun doesn’t mean ya have ta stay. If it makes ya feel better, leave ‘em notes and let’s get the hell outta here.”

“How can you _be_ like that?” the former ninja leader snapped. “Where’s your honor?”

Grinding his teeth, the bigger turtle growled. “It’s right where _yer_ supposed ta be! At _home. My_ mission was ta find ya and bring ya home. That’s what _I_ swore ta Master Splinter. And even if I have ta drag yer stupid ass home, I’m gunna!”

The Ice Man returned, cold and indomitable. “I’m not leaving this planet until I’ve seen the conclusion of the war and the safety of these people.”

“And what about the safety of yer _children_?” It was a low blow, using the kids as leverage, but if that’s what it took, Raph was willing to play dirty. He was so wound tight, so scared that he could lose Leo again, lose his children, that he couldn’t rest until he had them safely tucked back in the lair on Earth. Even if he hurt Leo now, he’d do what he had to for their future.

Leo’s head snapped back as if he’d been physically slapped, but Raph ignored the flash of pain in blue eyes, bulldozing forward. “They been stolen once already, Fearless, what’s ta stop someone from stealin’ ‘em again? We need ta go home. No more playin’ shogun. Our family needs ya more.”

The two turtles faced off, glaring heatedly at one another. It was just like old times, but Raph wished they could dissolve the tension. He didn’t _want_ to be at odds with his lover, but he knew he was right and he wasn’t going to back down. This wasn’t their fight. He had to make Leo see that it wasn’t good for their family to stay any longer.

But of course Leo was a stubborn jackass. “Then you can all beam to the Fugitoid’s ship,” he straightened his shoulders, interrupting Raph before he could get started on another rant. “Take the children. Take everyone, but I _must_ see this war to its end. There’s no other way.”

“Leo,” Donnie chimed in, unsure. “Maybe Raph’s right. We’re interfering in an alien culture. We need to leave before we cause any more damage.”

“I’m not leaving these people!” Leonardo suddenly roared, startling everyone in the room. “I’m not going to turn my back on this world so that it destroys itself again!”

Without another word, Leo stood and stormed from the house. Amazed at the display of temper, Raph growled, intent to follow after the jackass, but a hand on his shoulder kept him immobile against his will. “Let Shogun-san have his time,” the Ancient One counseled. “Now is not the time for confrontation.”

Glaring at the old woman before looking back to the way his lover had gone, Raphael suddenly realized that there was still a huge chasm between them, between ever fully understanding one another again. He was nowhere close to getting his Leo back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boke – stupid, clueless, dumb, unaware
> 
> *Next up, Raph cements his eternal loathing for Usagi.


	32. Plan of Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo finally tells everyone more about the war.

After the strange fit, watching Leo storm off, the Ancient One was swift to show the newly arrived guests to their rooms. In his anger Raph didn’t realize that the old turtle was showing his brothers to rooms that had not been there before. All of the big turtle’s focus was working on understanding how things had fallen apart so quickly again as he stomped off to his room. The entire day had been going so well!

When he started pacing and muttering to himself, the turtle knew he had to get out of the house or he’d start breaking stuff. And the last thing he wanted was to mess up the place and have the Ancient One riding his shell about it. No matter how good it’d feel to break everything around him, he would not risk the wrath of the old hag. There was just something off about her.

Thankfully when he slid the _shoji_ back, there was no one around. Slipping out of the house, Raph thought about wandering the woods to ease his agitation, but as he rounded the house, he heard voices. He might have ignored it if he hadn’t known it was the rabbit speaking. There were very few within the house with whom Usagi would talk.

Peeking around the corner revealed that of course it was Leo, the two of them sitting in the garden, the crease in Leo’s brow a clear sign of his distress, his lips thin and jaw tight. The rabbit was sitting close, face earnest. Raph knew if he got caught eavesdropping it would likely cause the rift between he and Leo to widen, but he couldn’t stop himself from doing it anyway. He had to know what was going on between the two.

“ –more,” the rabbit was saying as Raph inched closer, using all of his ninja stealth to remain hidden. “You know this.”

The ninja leader continued to frown. “I can’t just leave them.”

“Why not?” Usagi challenged gently. “They know nothing of this war. They will only get in the way. They will get hurt. And we cannot wait any longer.”

Leo’s shoulders tensed. He wouldn’t look at the rabbit, but whatever the rodent was saying, it was clear that his words were affecting the Shogun. Leo was taking them to heart.

“We’ll leave tomorrow,” he decided, Raph straining to hear, his heart beating wildly.

The rabbit was already nodding in agreement. “The Ancient One can care for the children and Lord Noriyuki. Your brothers, I am sure, will be welcome to stay here with her as well.”

Leo was going to ditch them?! Raphael couldn’t think of a more disturbing thought. They had finally all just gotten back together, and now Big Brother wanted to run away? Leave them behind so he could go running off with the _rabbit_? That didn’t make any sense! Leo wouldn’t abandon them, especially not their kids. Raph had seen how emotional Leonardo had been when reunited with his babies. He’d seen how reluctant and worried Leo was whenever someone else was holding a child, even if he covered it well. If nothing else, Leo would not run off on his kids, not unless there was an extremely good reason for him leaving them behind again.

But just as Raph thought about making his presence known, to argue against this terrible sounding plan, Leo spoke up. “We’ll ask the Ancient One to oversee the children and Lord Noriyuki, but I’m not leaving my brothers here.”

The rabbit’s face hardened. “Leonardo-san –”

“No,” the turtle held up a hand, turning away from the rodent, clearly not wanting to see his reaction. “You know as well as I do that we’ll need all the help we can get if what Akio-san reported was true.”

Raph was just in time to see the rabbit scrunch up his nose momentarily in obvious distaste. “ _If_ what Akio-san reported was true,” he scowled.

That fatigue that lingered around the older turtle grew heavier as he sighed. “We’ve been over this, Usagi-san.”

“I do not trust him.”

“He’s been faithful to his word,” Leo defended. “And all of his intel has proven true.”

“I know,” Usagi admitted. “But he was Lord Hebi’s man.”

“And now he’s ours,” the Shogun replied crisply. “Either way, this is too big to be left unchecked. I’m not sure you can conceive the amount of damage that could be done if Lord Hebi truly has the weapons Akio-san is reporting. We _need_ to end this. _Now_. My brothers can help.”

A sneer wormed its way onto the rabbit’s maw. “Are you certain?” he challenged carefully. “I do not mean disrespect, my friend, but from what I have seen, your brothers hardly appear to be…capable warriors.”

While Raph snarled in outrage, at least Leo appeared offended, too. “They are trained ninja. When we were still children we defeated great enemies together, saved not only our city, but our _world_ against impossible odds. Threats just as terrible as this one.”

The words hung ominously in the air, and Raph realized once more his big brother hadn’t been completely honest with all of them yet. Not that it should have been that much of a surprise. Leonardo was always hiding things when he thought he could somehow spare the family from something terrible. And from the sound of it, this was terrible. Terrible enough that Leo was comparing the war to their past missions where the world was at stake. Terrible enough that he would even allow his family to leave the planet with his children. This wasn’t just about fulfilling an oath, this was much more. Leonardo hadn’t just been thinking of their safety, he was thinking of their _survival_.

A white hand reached out and attached itself to the black clad shoulder. Usagi was leaning in, Leonardo staying completely still, not moving away. “You carry a terrible burden, my friend. What can I do to help you?”

The blue eyes that looked up were tired, sad. The way they sat beside one another, the way they looked at each other – Raphael felt his gut burning. It was sickening. He’d never known he could hate someone so fiercely. It felt different from the hate he’d held for even the Shredder. More intense, more personal. Because Leonardo was _his_ , and this… _thing_ was trying to take him away!

“You can trust me,” Leo’s smile was quiet, taking on a wryness. “And I need you to be on better terms with Raphael.”

“The brute?” the rabbit sneered, causing Raphael to bite back a growl.

“Yes, him,” amusement colored the turtle’s tone ever so slightly.

“I do not understand you, Leonardo-san,” Usagi admitted. “After everything he has done to you, after the way he behaves? I do not trust him, Leonardo-san. He is...” he searched for a delicate word, but came up short. “He is hostile.”

A laugh escaped the Shogun, and from his hiding place, Raph could not make out the fondness in the expression. “That he is. But I would trust Raphael with my _life_ , Usagi-san.”

“But not your heart.”

It was not a question. It was a cold statement of fact. And around the house, Raph waited with a pounding heart for Leo to refute the statement. Waited for Leo to defend him in any way. But the turtle remained quiet. Instead, the Shogun stood. “I must talk to April. Ask my brothers if they will help us.”

And without another word, Leonardo left the rabbit, who looked as though he wished to say something, but was not fast enough. Usagi remained standing in the gardens, sulking, probably thinking of the conversation just past. That was his mistake. When Leonardo was safely ensconced within the house, Raph slipped out of the shadows.

“I know what you’re doing.”

It might have been amusing how startled the rabbit was by the sudden appearance of the ninja, but Raph didn’t exactly feel like laughing right now. “Raphael-san?” Usagi slowly came out of his defensive posture. “What –?”

“I know what you’re doing, and it ain’t gunna work,” he snarled.

The rabbit had the nerve to appear confused, which only further infuriated the turtle. “I am afraid I do not know of what you speak. What am I doing?”

Snarling, Raph lunged forward, grabbing the smaller male by the front of his _kimono_. “Don’t play dumb – no matter how natural it comes,” he hissed. “I don’t know what _shit_ you’re feedin’ Leo, but it stops _now_.”

Raphael was clearly the bigger of the two. At least five inches taller than the samurai, and certainly much thicker than the lean rabbit, Raphael was over three hundred pounds of pure muscle and shell. If he really wanted to, he could crush this vermin without even trying. And he was so, so tempted to do it right now. To destroy the source of his woe. But the smaller male was slippery and managed to twist out of the enraged turtle’s hold.

“I do not know what you are talking about,” Usagi denied, expression deceivingly neutral despite the scowl.

“Bullshit.” Getting back up into the rabbit’s face, Raph just managed to stop himself from pulling out a sai and pointing it under the samurai’s chin. “I know what you’re doing,” he repeated, voice dropping into a growl. “And if ya think you got any kinda shot with Leo, you’re _dead_ wrong. Leo’s _my_ turtle, so _fuck off_.”

“Leonardo-san is _not_ yours,” the rabbit hissed, answering the challenge head on. “Nor will he ever be again. You disgraced him, you abandoned him.”

“Shut you’re fuckin’ mouth!” Raph actually threw a punch, but the rabbit managed to dance out of the way. “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about!”

“I know enough.” The way Usagi said this actually had the turtle pausing. “I know how much Leonardo-san has suffered because of _your_ actions.”

Like the coward he was, before Raph could do anything, the rabbit hopped away, back into the house without so much as looking over his shoulder. It took several minutes for the turtle to quell the rage that churned in his gut, threatening to consume him once more. He was going to murder that fucking rabbit! He wanted to tear him open and pull out his entrails, beat his face into a bloody pulp. See how much Leo liked him then!

But despite his fury towards Usagi, it was hard for the ninja to dismiss his own guilt in the situation. Because Leonardo _had_ suffered because of him. There was no denying that Leo had hurt when Raph left, that he’d been scared finding out he was pregnant, the horrific episode in space, and then winding up on some backwater planet in the middle of a war was proof enough. And like it or not, Usagi had been here with Leo through a lot of shit, not Raph. Usagi had been the one to help Leo and April when they first arrived, Raph hadn’t even known his lover was off Earth. Usagi was Leo’s right-hand man, while he barely trusted Raph with their children.

Spinning around, he punched a tree as hard as he could, his still raw knuckles breaking open. The pain reverberated through his arm into his shoulder, jostling his sore side, but he didn’t care. Stalking into the house, intent on having another talk with Leo, he was just in time to find his turtle with April, the two sitting closely overlooking a map. When Raph stormed in, two pairs of blue eyes glanced up. Raph noted how Leo’s eyes were drawn to his bloodied hand, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Sit,” was the order given to the big turtle, and despite how he wanted to rant and rave at his older brother, take out the pain he felt because of him _on_ him, Raph just managed to keep his mouth closed and did as he was told. For once.

After another minute, the other turtles and Casey arrived, staring from the snarling Raphael to the obsessively focused Leonardo. “Soooo…” Mikey inched back a bit. “How are _you_ guys?”

“We need to talk,” was all Leo said as he pushed around maps and letters and what looked to be notes, judging by the scribbled mess of Japanese and English. “Tomorrow I need to leave.”

“WHAT?! No!” Mikey cried in despair.

“You can’t just _go_!” Donnie argued.

Before any more chaos could insure, Leo held up his hand for peace. “Word’s reached me about Lord Hebi’s forces that cannot be ignored. I need to assemble our forces and launch an attack. Quickly.” Usagi appeared beside the Shogun, the two exchanging a look. “I was going to ask you guys to help me.”

That had the others pausing, their outrage and devastation turning into curiosity. “FINALLY!” Casey cried, grinning like a fool. “Gettin’ real tired of all this waitin’ around not doin’ a damn thing.” Raph might have agreed if he wasn’t too busy sending all of the hate he could muster towards the rabbit.

Don inched closer to his eldest brother, overlooking the messy table. “What exactly is going on?” he asked the most logical question that had yet to be addressed.

April squeezed Leo’s hand. “For a while now there’s been some pretty tremendous rumors coming in about Lord Hebi having a weapon ‘unlike anything the world’s ever seen’,” April quoted. “It was recently confirmed by one of our spies that Hebi really does possessive a weapon that could take out not only this island, but consequently many lands beyond.”

“A nuclear bomb, essentially,” Leo explained bluntly to their horrified audience. “Or a bomb with the same destructive capacities.”

“How?” The lanky turtle blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the situation. “This planet shouldn’t be capable of arming itself with such weapons, nuclear or otherwise!”

“It wasn’t always a primitive planet,” April shook her head gravely. “A long time ago it was a thriving civilization, probably more modern than Earth. A war took place, however, devastating the entire planet. The survivors had to rebuild themselves from the ground up. This is how far they’ve advanced since the destruction of their world.”

The news shouldn’t have been so surprising, especially after all they’d seen, but it was still a hard concept to grasp. An entire world brought to its knees, on the brink of extinction. The ruined cities, the strange appearance of modern technology. All around them there had been clues, and yet they hadn’t understood what they were seeing. It made Raph wonder if everyone on the planet knew about the old war or if it had slowly faded from their minds. Was the Ancient One, who lived with more ‘modern’ technology, one of the few who even knew it had happened once? How much did everyone on the planet know?

“These people have no concept of what a bomb like that can do,” Leo continued, as if picking up on Raph’s thoughts. “They have no idea what disaster will come to both sides. If Lord Hebi or his men figure out a way to launch this, if they find more technology, it could destroy this world again.”

“You said you had a spy?” Donatello began shifting through Leo’s note more earnestly while Raph drew closer. “Did he tell you where this bomb is? Where we can find it? Any specific information about it?”

“We know where it is, but Akio didn’t even know what the bomb was,” Leonardo denied. “Much less know anything specific about it. He’d have no idea of how to disarm it. It was only from the gossip he repeated back to us from the soldiers and his brief description of the weapon that April and I realized what he was talking about.”

If what they were saying was true, Raph didn’t need to hear anymore about how bad this would be. He knew. They’d spent a few days here wandering the planet, knew that the entire area – possibly the planet – was primitive. If these monkeys got their paws on a _nuke,_ there was no telling how much they’d fuck up the place.

“So what ya gunna do, Fearless?”

When Leonardo turned, the two eldest locked eyes. This was some serious shit, more serious than the petty little dispute between _daimyo_. Suddenly he understood Leo’s unwillingness to leave, April’s stubborn stance.

Not backing down, the Shogun turned from Raph and made sure to look at his other brothers and friends. “I’m going to see this war to its conclusion,” he repeated, chin raised proudly. “And I’m asking you all if you’ll help me.”

“Well, _duh_ ,” Mikey rolled his eyes. “You had me at, ‘assemble,’ dude. We got yo back!”

“Yeah, man. We’ll help ya kick this Lord Hebi’s ass all the way ta hell,” Casey’s grin was manic, already twitching to get into a good fight.

“Is this his fortress?” Donatello ignored the others as he held up a map. “Because if he’s hiding in the mountains here, we’ll need the proper gear to climb the rock face and make sure all of his escape routes are blocked.”

Usagi seemed surprised by the willingness of the others get involved with the war after Leo gave a quick translation for him, and it pleased Raphael to no end. If this guy thought that he was the only one that cared about Leo, he was dead wrong. Walking around the table, Raph placed a heavy hand around his lover to his opposite shoulder, forcing the rabbit back a step. When Leo stared up at him from his seated position, the bigger turtle smiled. “So what’s the plan, Fearless?”

Leo stood and faced his friends and family, Raph stubbornly keeping his claim on the Shogun’s shoulder. “Well, now that I know I have a ninja team to rely on,” he smiled gratefully, “I need to reevaluate the attack.”

“Well, let us know when you have something,” Donatello nodded, smiling reassuringly at his eldest brother “ _Anything_ ,” he stressed. “We’re here for you, Leo.”

Smiling warmly at his younger siblings, Leo nodded. “Thank you. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. I’ll brief you all then.”

Gathering the parchment and maps, Leo nodded to his brothers before excusing himself. The others were a flurry of excitement, Casey running outside to burn off the sudden surge of energy while April followed, not wanting him to ruin anything. Donnie followed a minute after to ask April more questions about the war, probably about the messages passed. Mikey latched himself onto Usagi, chattering the rabbit’s ears off, asking him all kinds of questions much to the samurai’s dismay. Seeing a chance to free himself, Raph ducked out of the room.

It took huge effort to stop himself from pettily hitting the rabbit on his way out. Better not to be seen. Instead, the big turtle trailed behind his lover, but turned to go into his own room. Digging through his stuff, eventually Raph found what he was looking for, before going to find his lover.

He didn’t even bother to knock or call out as he slipped into Leo’s room. Leonardo was sitting with his papers spread out on the floor, looking over everything with Sachiko in his arms. Upon the arrival of his younger brother, the ninja glanced up, but didn’t bother to greet him. Instead, Leo turned back to his work, nodding to Raph. Not needing further invitation, the big turtle padded over and sat before the Shogun.

“Is there something you need?” Leo asked quietly so as not to disturb the infants.

“Yeah. Well, no, I just thought…” Raph trailed off, tongue tied. Because it never ceased to cause him wonder whenever he saw Leonardo like this, holding their children so very tenderly. “Here,” he shoved the book at his brother.

Surprised, the older ninja reached out and took the offered object. When blue eyes scanned the cover, they lit up. “My journal,” he breathed, turning the notebook over before flipping through it. “Where did you get this?” he questioned, not looking up. “I left it behind on Earth.”

Hearing an accusation, the younger turtle bristled defensively. “Don’t get mad at me!” he growled. “I was just lookin’ fer my damn pillow – the one _you_ stole.”

Leo stared at his brother, clearly surprised, before he let out a quiet chuckle, capturing the hothead’s attention. “I’m not mad,” he denied. “I’m actually very glad you have this. It’s _exactly_ what I needed. Thank you.”

The amount of sincerity was nice to see, as was the quiet smile. It soothed something in the big turtle, eased the agitation that the private conversation he’d witnessed between his brother and the rabbit had left. It was easier to breathe when it was just the two of them, his defenses not so strong. The thought of opening the floor to talk about their issues was on the tip of his tongue, but Raph bit it back. Now wasn’t the time. He didn’t want to ruin the peace.

Instead, he settled in, intent on staying with Leonardo for the night. He knew his lover was likely to agonize over the plan of attack, staying up late into the night. If that was the case, if the kids needed something, Raph decided that he’d start pulling more dad duties to help out. If Leo was against his staying, he didn’t say anything. Instead, the two remained quiet, the Shogun formulating the plan, while Raph got up to settle the children.

They worked late into the night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for war? Huh? Anyone? I am!


	33. Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a set plan, the gang is away to meet with the army and take on Lord Hebi and his forces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoot! I'm excited for the actual war coming up, so stay tuned!

The next morning came too quickly, and when the sun rose, it found Raph and Leo still awake, having gotten little rest. At one point the shogun had begun to doze, still holding Sachi as he slumped over himself, head hanging to his chest. When Raph noticed, he wished he’d had his T-phone to capture the moment. Instead, he’d very carefully took up his youngest and settled her into her little nest. His attempt to help Leo lay back after their daughter was taken care of was thwarted when the older turtle startled awake, staring up at his lover with wide, sleepy eyes. It twisted Raph’s heart.

Sadly, instead of resting, Leo forced himself back to work, and Raph settled himself back down, deciding to stay up as well. Just in case Leo needed him.

Their private peaceful sphere was broken at dawn when the Ancient One poked her head in, staring at the two, her dark eyes gleaming. “Leo-chan,” her voice was soft.

The shogun nodded, standing stiffly. Raph waited a moment, trying to rouse himself, before he also got up. He nearly fell over as he leaned down to help his brother pick up the parchment. Grumbling irritably, he wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or not when he caught Leo smirking at him.

The two parents were certain to check over their children before exiting the room, each fretting silently while petting the infants. It was still early enough that the children were likely to continue sleeping a little longer. So while Leonardo went to set up the table to go over the plans after he was satisfied the babies were well, Raph decided to actually help out and wake the others. April was already up and walking out of her room as the big turtle passed by. She offered a smile before wandering towards Leo, instantly consulting with him on what needed to be done. She was a more serious Second than Raph had thought.

It took some major threats to rouse the others, but eventually Raph managed to round up the younger turtles and Casey. He didn’t bother with the rabbit. The rodent had woken with the sun as well, and when the turtles and humans were up, Usagi was already there flanking Leo, looking over his shoulder and speaking quietly. It was so odd, Leonardo actually looking like some kind of war lord surrounded by his council. It was unnerving and set Raph on edge.

When everyone was settled, the Ancient One came toddling in with a tray of tea and some fruit. She set it before the sleepy young people, before excising herself. Leonardo didn’t waste time in starting. Setting out the map of the town and the fortress which housed the weapon and most likely Lord Hebi, he began to showcase the perimeter.

“This is Miyagi,” Leonardo began, pointing to the city. “It was once a large city before the destruction of civilization. As you can see, it is almost completely surrounded by mountains and hills, making any direct assault virtually impossible. At least if you want to win and escape heavy causalities.”

Turning to a more detailed map, Leo pointed to two places within the mountains. “Our intelligence says that there are only three known ways out of the city. The first being the direct front, which our army will be blocking when we engage. The second,” he pointed to a place where nothing was listed, but a dot drawn in, “is a secret escape route. It can only funnel the people of the city out into treacherous corridors within the mountain. There is no clear pass, and is rough going for anyone. We will be posting men there, to catch any fleeing soldiers.”

“And the third?” Donnie asked, much more awake than he normally would be at such a time.

“The third is more of a footpath that isn’t used. It’s extremely narrow and has been broken up in the past. No one save the truly desperate would dare use it.”

“Sounds perfect,” Raph grumbled, eyeing the map carefully. “I assume that’s our ticket in?”

Leonardo smiled wryly. “Of course.” Carefully placing miniatures on the map, he began to clearly outline the plan. “Usagi-san,” he turned to the rabbit. “You will be in charge of directing the main army here,” he pointed to the front. “You will serve as a distraction, and attack from the front. When we meet with the men, Matsumoto-san will be in charge of the forces within the mountain,” he pointed to the escape route.

“As for the rest of us,” he turned to his brothers and human friends, “we will be infiltrating here,” he gestured to the footpath. “I will have word sent to our spy within to meet us here, or at least have him around this general area when we arrive. We will slip in while the main army is attacking the front. April, Casey,” he switched to English for the vigilante’s sake. “Once we’re in, I want the two of you to stay behind and guard this entrance. After we clear this opening, I will have men also follow behind us. Your duty first is to keep this area clear for our forces to slowly begin an infiltration.

“Donnie, Mikey,” he stared at his younger brothers sternly. “It’s going to be your main priority to stop the detonation of this weapon. At _any_ cost. The four of us will find the weapon’s location and take out anyone who’s there. Donnie, you must not only disarm the bomb, but ensure that it can’t be used again. Mikey, it’s going to be your main prerogative to watch his back. April, once you deem enough men have come and can hold the opening, you bring Casey around and help Donnie and Mikey,” he pointed to deep within one building.

“You’re sure the weapon’s there?” Donnie asked. “Time will be of the essence, and we can’t afford to run around searching for it. Especially if word gets out that the city is being invaded.”

Leo was already nodding. “I know it’s around this general area. I’m hoping Akio – my spy – will be able to lead us directly to the proper location.”

“So…April and Casey will be here first,” Mikey stepped forward finger tracing over the parchment. “D and I will be here and then Casey and April will come…what about you and Raph?”

The big turtle stared at the leader, wondering the same. Straightening his shoulders, Leo peered at his immediate younger brother briefly before turning back to Mikey. “Raphael and I will help see to it that this position is held,” he indicated to the bomb’s location, “until April and Casey arrive. After Raph and I will be going after Lord Hebi.”

At the name, Usagi interrupted, asking quietly what Leonardo had just said. The turtle repeated in Japanese for his friend’s sake. Upon hearing the news, the rabbit rejected the notion instantly. “Leonardo-san, no, you cannot –”

“You know as well as I do that he needs to be taken out,” the shogun replied crisply. “If he gets away again, he’ll likely raise more trouble in the future. We’re ending this.”

Back to his team, Leo tried to read their reactions. “Does everyone understand the plan? If nothing else, the weapon _must not_ be detonated. That is priority number one. Nothing else matters. Am I understood?”

“ _Hai_!” the turtles were quick to respond, each amazed at how very authoritative their elder brother had become. It reminded them too much of Master Splinter when he was particularly demanding.

“Excellent. Now get prepared to leave,” Leonardo jerked his head back toward their rooms. “I want to leave within the hour.”

Thankfully everyone was a good sport about the early start and went to do what their told. Only Casey was reluctant to actually get ready, slumping over to go back to sleep where he sat. Of course that gave Mikey the brilliant opportunity to give the human a wet willy while his guard was down. When Casey let out a shriek, Mikey was sure to hightail it out of there, laughing manically. Raph had the very great desire to trip his youngest brother as he ran past, but decided against it. He was too tired.

While the others rushed to get ready, Leo turned to the Ancient One, who was lingering by the door. The shogun frowned to himself, before walking towards his sensei. “I’m going to have to be parted from my children again,” he stated simply.

“ _Hai_ ,” the old woman nodded sadly.

“I’m going to ask Donatello to call our friends in space to beam them –”

“I do not believe that is wise, Leonardo-san,” the old woman shook her head gravely. “Your friends are otherwise engaged.”

A shot of fear coursed through Raphael at the declaration. What did that mean? Was Mona all right? The Fugitoid? Hell, he was even worried about Ginger at this point, and felt guilty for not having thought much about them since beaming down. With the way the Ancient One spoke, it sounded a lot like she knew that there was something major going on in orbit.

But if he was at all concerned, Leonardo didn’t show it. In fact, he didn’t seem surprised by the answer. Instead, he knelt down on the floor and bowed deeply to his master. The old woman stared down at him, her black eyes glittering in a way that had Raph’s scales itching. That strange surge of energy emanated from her as she looked over the prone turtle.

“You have something to ask of me, Leonardo?”

The lack of any sort of title was telling. Raph just wished he knew what it meant.

“ _Hai_ , Sensei.”

“Speak.”

There was no hesitation by the shogun as he bowed just a little bit deeper, face to the floor. “I ask that you take the children to Kyoto to wait until after the battle for our return, or news comes of our demise. I ask that you care for the children in my absence.”

Raph wasn’t sure why, but as the Ancient One appeared intrigued, as if not expecting the request, which sat wrong with him. There was something up, Leo was playing at something. He was sure of it. The old turtle knew this as well, but apparently was not exactly sure either. “I will do this,” she agreed slowly. “I will care for the children.”

“ _Doumo arigatou gozaimasu_ ,” Leonardo replied sincerely. But when he remained kneeling, Raph scowled.

“Leonardo,” the Ancient One called. “You would ask more?”

“No,” the shogun denied. “I am merely paying my respect to you for your generosity, Sensei.”

Now there was clear wariness about the old turtle. “Such respect is not warranted,” she dismissed. “Your children have always been under my protection.”

“ _Hai,_ ” Leonardo agreed. “And I am immensely grateful. Just as I am grateful that you would extend that generosity to Lord Noriyuki.”

The shock that showed on the Ancient One’s face was an accomplishment, Raphael was sure. While he hadn’t known her all that long, there didn’t seem to be anything that surprised the witch. At all times she was aware and had an innate sense of the world around her. The fact that his lover had apparently pulled something over her was amazing.

But instead of getting angry or flustered, the Ancient One laughed. It was a hard, gritty sound, but joyous nonetheless. “Very good, _shihan_!” she praised happily. “Clever.”

Leonardo held perfectly still and didn’t dare to rise. “You are very gracious.”

“I will do as I have promised.” Narrow eyes sharpened. “But do not think that you can get away with such deviousness again.”

“ _Hai,_ Sensei.”

There was a pause before the Ancient One turned away, laughing as she hobbled out of the room. Leo stayed still, not daring to move until his master was gone. Raph was thoroughly confused by the interaction, but didn’t say a word, not wanting the old turtle to hear and come charging back in. The echoes of the Ancient One softly bounced through the house and the commotion from the two knuckleheads still running around the house – Mikey laughing while Casey growled – was enough to wake Lord Noriyuki. The little panda came out minutes later looking impossibly younger than he had the day before, blurry eyed. Since Usagi had left the house, it meant that Leo was charged with caring for the _daimyo_ before Raph could get a word out.

The moment he straightened and saw the boy in the doorway, Leo approached the child. “What’s going on, Shogun-sama?” the panda asked sleepily.

“We’re leaving,” Leonardo replied bluntly. “We have to stop Lord Hebi before he and his men can deploy a very dangerous weapon.”

Despite being a child, the young lord nodded, very obviously gathering what courage he could find. “I see. Then I wish you luck, Shogun-sama.”

Leonardo offered a smile to the boy, placing a comforting hand on the child’s shoulder. “You will be well taken care of while we are gone. The Ancient One has promised to take you to Kyoto.”

“Kyoto?” the panda frowned, forcing himself to wake up more. “Why must we go to Kyoto? Will it be safe there?”

“You will be safe with the Ancient One,” Leonardo promised. “You must be in Kyoto, even if things do not go well for us.”

Once more Raphael was out of the loop as he watched a certain level of understanding flitter across the young face. “Wh-what would I say?” the child asked desperately. “What would I say if all is lost?”

“You will know what to say,” the shogun encouraged, intensity in his gaze. “You must stand before the council and show the advantages of your reign. _Prove_ the devastation Lord Hebi has wrought on this land, that he is unfit to rule.”

The young lord hesitated, scared and unsure. He was only a child, one in the middle of a war and power struggle he certainly never asked for. It was only then that Raph wondered how old the boy really was. He couldn’t be older than ten.

“You can do this,” Leo encouraged. “I believe in you, _dono_. Others do, too.”

It was sweet how the child threw himself into the shogun’s arms, burying his face into the turtle’s plastron. And Leonardo allowed it. With the same tenderness Raph had seen his lover display with his children, Leonardo held dear to the _daimyo_ , gently stroking the back of his head. He was murmuring comfort to the child that the bigger turtle couldn’t hear, but he didn’t need to.

When Lord Noriyuki finally got ahold of himself, he pulled back, still a bit lost, but with new determination in his dark eyes. “I will not fail you, Shogun-sama.”

“Excellent.” Leo placed both hands on the young lord’s shoulders. “I have a request to ask of you while I am away, _dono_.”

“ _Hai_!” the children nodded fiercely, the need to prove himself evident in the boy’s face. “I will do what I can, Shogun-sama.”

A fond smile graced the severe features, as Leo stared at the panda. “I need you to be strong. I need you to be resilient and to _never_ back down. I need you to keep moving towards the future, even if everything else around you falls. _You_ must be prepared to have the nation look to you, _dono_. You must be the rock for the people’s foundation.”

It was a lot of responsibility to lay upon the shoulders of one so young, but then again, Leonardo was speaking from experience. Leo had been terribly young when Sensei began expecting more from his eldest, even before he was officially leader. To care for and look after his brothers in a world that would hurt and capture them the first chance it got. Such burdens were far too heavy for children to bear, and yet they often bore it. But with the young lord, at least, it wasn’t as if this responsibility was unexpected. This war was to help him assert his dominance over the land, so he could ascend to the throne. This child could very well be Emperor one day soon.

When the Ancient One returned, she very carefully guided the panda away, claiming she had breakfast for him. Before she left, however, she gave a pointed look towards Raph, who felt his guts squirm uncomfortably when black eyes zeroed in on him. He didn’t have time to figure out what she meant by the look, and instead focused fully on Leonardo.

Making sure they were completely alone, the big turtle strode over to his lover, watching as he collected maps from the table. “Yer…real good with that kid,” he complimented awkwardly, not quite sure what to say, but needing to say something.

Leo glanced up at him briefly, before turning his attention back to the task at hand. “He has so much weight on his shoulders.” The turtle paused, looking thoughtfully in the direction the child had gone.

“Yeah. But he’ll be okay,” Raph encouraged, coming close enough to place a hand on his lover’s arm. “He’s got help.”

The smile offered was small, but heartening. “Yeah…We should get ready to go.”

There was such sadness in the expression, no doubt the thought of leaving the _daimyo_ and the triplets eating away at his conscience, that Raph couldn’t help himself. Without over thinking, the big turtle leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against his brother’s. The response was immediate, breaking Raphael’s heart, but he supposed it could have been worse. While he did not jerk away, Leo was sure to take a step back, out of the kiss. Green eyes were pained as they pleaded with blue, but Leonardo wouldn’t look at him anymore.

“We need to get ready,” Leo repeated quietly before rushing from the room. He left all of his papers behind.

Growling softly in frustration, the big turtle stalked to his room and threw everything he had into bags without any sort of consideration. When he exited, he found the others actually mostly ready, carrying packs outside. Following, he found Usagi just outside, having saddled several animals for their journey. While there were more beasts than Raphael would have thought there’d be, it was obvious that some of them would have to share.

Donnie was fretting, going over some sort of checklist he must have made at some point and consulting with the rabbit. Mikey was trying to make friends with the animals, offering up apples and cooing. Casey was speaking with April, the humans standing closely together. The way his friend was looking at April, Raph knew Casey was done waiting around. He was going to make a move, and as a big brother, the turtle hoped Donnie was ready for it. Could let go. Because with the way April was staring back at the vigilante, Raphael knew his younger brother was in for some heartache.

Usagi, while still speaking with Donatello, was dressed in his armor, April too. A few minutes later the Ancient One came out flanked by Leonardo and Lord Noriyuki. It was chilling to once more see the Black Warrior, Leo adorned in the legend of the shogun. Stoic, fierce, Leonardo’s cold eyes swept over his team. Even Michelangelo stilled to give his eldest brother his undivided attention.

“Are you ready?” the leader asked, voice quiet, yet somehow booming through the woods.

Grinning widely, Casey answered for the team. “Let’s do this!”

With only five beasts and seven adults, it was prudent to have the lightest pair up with some of the heavier men. April volunteered to ride with Mikey, while Raph got stuck with Casey. Usagi was attempting to give a brief lesson on how to ride, which Raph ignored studiously. He knew if he even looked at the rabbit at the moment he’d end up pummeling him, the sting of Leo’s rejection earlier still raw.

After the brief lecture, the others mounted up. As they did so, the shogun took his time in bidding farewell to his children. Heart twisting, Raph joined him, aching as he watched his lover kiss each tiny head, stroking the small plastrons affectionately. “I’ll be back soon,” he just heard Leonardo’s whispered promise. “I love you. I love you very, very much,” he cooed, making that odd chirping sound to soothe the infants.

A rush of fierce protectiveness overcame the big turtle as he stopped beside his lover, peering down at his children. Not caring if he was teased about it later, Raph also made sure to kiss each infant, smiling down at them, desperate to memorize their little faces. Just in case. “Dada will be back soon,” he vowed, stroking Yoshi’s tiny head. He smiled as blue-green eyes peeked up at him. “I…Love ya, little guys,” he whispered.

When he managed to tear his eyes away from the children, Raph found Leo staring at him, the stormy eyes unreadable. Without a word, he placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder and turned him towards the awaiting group. Jumping up on the back of a beast, Leo looked to the Ancient One, who held the infants in their basket with Lord Noriyuki beside her. “We will return soon,” he declared.

“Mind what I have said to you, Leonardo-san,” the old woman called. “Remember what you have learned.”

With a nod, the shogun turned his mount to the forest and galloped away, not looking back. Like a hero in all the stories he’d once adored, Leonardo was thundering away, the others quick to go after him. Once again they were off on another adventure, and Raphael supposed he should be glad they had not only a clear plan this time, but a leader to see it through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miyagi – palace castle  
> Doumo arigatou gozaimasu – thank you very much  
> Shihan – ‘master instructor’ or title for one who has accomplished a high martial arts degree  
> Kyoto – literally means ‘capital’  
> Dono - lord


	34. Machiavelli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang make it to the army camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long silence! Several RL things came up that kept me thoroughly occupied.  
> Anywho, enjoy this if you can!

Away from the children, Leonardo became a completely different person. Sitting around the campfire that night, miles away from the forest and home of the Ancient One, gone was the remanence of the brother they had all once known. What was left was only the Shogun, and Raphael found himself despising the new mask his brother had forged for himself on this planet  

It didn’t help that Usagi was around, feeding the warlord mentality with his ridged propriety and council. April wasn’t doing much better. It was so odd, watching the girl that they had all come to know and love, in many ways the unifying force in their lives, now so completely alienated from them. Now April was sitting uncomfortably near them, an awkwardness that had never been there before clearly seen and none of them knew how to get rid of it. While Leonardo didn’t seem to notice – or perhaps care – about the chasm between himself and their family, April was torn between breaching the divide and staying on the other side with Leo. Her loyalty was to the eldest turtle alone, the two sitting closely together, each so very different from the people they had once been.

Wedged between Casey and Donnie, Raph honestly tried not to scowl at his lover from across the fire as he, too, sat sheltered between his advisors. It was almost an even split, the newly arrive Earthlings on one side of the flames, the agents of Lord Noriyuki on the other. Usagi was openly frowning at the new company while April at least responded to small talk. Leonardo said little.

Mikey was the most obviously distressed by the tension wafting in the air along with the smoke, fidgeting and chattering in an odd mix of both English and Japanese. He wanted to make everyone happy, but with Casey unable to understand Japanese and Usagi unable to understand English, adding in the fact that there was obvious hostility between Raphael and the rabbit, compromise was difficult. Impossible. With April less inclined to make peace than she was in the past, and Leo acting completely disinterested with everything going on around him, that left the others unsure as how to proceed. Donnie was fretfully messing with the communication device for the ship, not receiving any responses from the Fugitoid, while Casey clumsily attempted to engage April, but always falling silent when only blunt replies were returned.

It was almost as if he were detached, watching the scene from the outside. Raph couldn’t understand how something like this had happened. How his close knit family had become so divided. He’d thought it couldn’t get much worse than seeing Donnie furious with everyone while still on Earth and Casey not being around, leaving Mikey as interceder, but this? While not inimical, seeing the two main driving forces of their group, their leader and their moral compass, unwilling to mend the hurts between them was more than distressing. It was devastating.

Eventually the general concession became it was time for sleep. They would need their rest for the next day when they met up with the army. In the summer air and with the clear night skies, it was decided that no tents were needed. They would sleep in the open air just as they had in younger years. Raph waited until everyone was down for the night, everyone striped of armor and weapons, their breaths evening out in slumber, before moving from his position by the fire. He was the first watch of the night, but even still, he decided to use his time productively. As he made sure everyone was asleep, he went and knelt down beside Leonardo. He didn’t have to touch the turtle before the leader woke. Almost as soon as he was near, Leo’s eyes snapped open, staring up at his brother tiredly.

Swallowing some pride, the larger turtle jerked his head to a spot just outside of the firelight. “I need ta talk to you.”

There was no emotion on Leonardo’s face and no arguing. The turtle simply sat up and walked over to the area indicated. Raph followed behind, frantically trying to come up with something to say. While he’d been the one to initiate this, knowing they needed to speak, he was at a loss as to what to actually say. How could he convey all he was feeling to his brother? How could he make Leo understand what he felt any clearer? He already proclaimed his love, what more was needed?

When they were sure to be outside of the others’ hearing range if they kept their voices low, Leo sat down on a nearby fallen tree, staring up at his brother expectantly. It was clear he was exhausted, their all-nighter the night before weighing him down. But as much as he wanted Leo to sleep, to feel better, Raph had to do this. There were just too many misconceptions between them, things left unsaid, unclear. He wanted an end to it. Especially if they were going to fight a battle that could quite possibly end in death.

Taking a deep breath, internally marking how beautiful his beloved looked in the moonlight, Raph plopped down beside his brother. “This plan of yers…you sure about it?” he began, because he knew it was a question Leo would answer. It was a question that would give way to an opening.

The elder turtle nodded slowly. “It should work. As long as we keep the element of surprise. I have every confidence Donatello can disarm the weapon, can see to it that it doesn’t detonate.”

“That’s yer main concern,” Raphael acknowledged, allowing the observation to sink in before asking, “So if that’s so important, why aren’t ya gunna stick around? Why leave the others ta go after that Hebi guy?”

Blue eyes appeared black in the night, but Raph didn’t shy away. “Lord Hebi is a villain, Raphael. A despicable creature not unlike the Shredder. Allowing him to escape is just as dangerous as that weapon. Perhaps the world would stand a little longer if the snake got away, but the damage he can wrought is just as devastating.”

He wasn’t quite sure if he understood fully, not having faced the _daimyo,_ but Raph nodded anyway. If Leo was this concerned over the guy, there was probably a good reason. He had to trust that, even if what he’d witnessed his brother do on this planet seemed wrong. There was still so much he didn’t understand or know. Leonardo knew what he was doing. He just had to.

“Okay,” he acknowledged. “But why me?”

“What?”

“Why’d ya chose me?” the bigger turtle clarified. “To fight Hebi. Why’d ya chose me ta go with you and not take the rabbit?”

Because if Raph were honest with himself, he knew he wasn’t necessarily a better fighter than Usagi. And even if he was, it wasn’t by a wide margin. Besides that, he knew nothing of this world, of the enemy. Usagi knew Lord Hebi much better, knew the _Shogun_. Raph was the odd man out between the two of them. Why would Leo want him around? Why wouldn’t he take a man he’d worked with more closely over the last year?

Raph lost blue eyes, but knew he still had Leonardo’s full attention. The shogun stared up at the sky, at the stars. A sadness overcame severe features, leaving Raphael with the striking reminder that his brother was young. Too young to have gone through everything he had thus far in life. Too young to have ever been left alone in worlds that sought to snuff out his existence. So sad. So lonely. Yet so beautiful.

“I need someone I know I could trust explicitly.” Green eyes blinked in amazement. “I need someone I know I can count on, someone who can read me and I can read them. Someone who can anticipate my moves, someone I can anticipate.” Blue eyes were fierce in the darkness as they suddenly pieced Raphael in place. “I need someone I know will not hesitate. Someone I know will do what has to be done. At _any_ cost.”

“Yer gunna kill him.”

The statement hung between the pair, heavy, but free of condemnation. It was a testament to how much he’d changed that Leonardo didn’t even blink. “Yes. You’ve killed before.”

“Yeah.”

Understanding passed between the two. This is why he wasn’t taking Casey or their brothers. This was why he wasn’t taking April or Usagi. While Raph was certain the ronin had killed, possibly April having to do so as well, both lacked what Leonardo needed. April, more than likely, the will to end a life – the older turtle possibly wishing to protect her from the horror if he still could – the rabbit a complete understanding of the shogun. Raphael realized both happily and with no small amount of humility, what it was his brother was not saying. Only _Raph_ knew Leonardo. Fully knew him. Not just his fighting styles, but _him_. His thought process, all of his strengths, what made him weak. Even after a year apart, even after all the fucked up things that had passed between them, Raph still knew Leo the best of anyone else in the universe.

Reaching out to snatch his lover’s hand, the two locked eyes. Raph was prepared to throw himself into the moment. “Leo, I –”

There was no outward sign on his face, but it was clear the shift in tone was not something Leonardo wanted to deal with. Pulling his hand from Raph, even going as far as to lean away, the shogun broke eye contact. “If something were to go wrong and I don’t make it back, I want you to care for the children.”

The talk of their little ones had the big turtle stalling. “What? What kinda talk is that? We’ll make it through this, Leo, just like –”

“I mean it, Raphael.” Cold steel inserted itself in the leader’s voice. “This isn’t just about us anymore. I want to make sure that the children will be taken care of should anything happen to me.”

The ominous sensation that had been looming over their heads since leaving the Ancient One turned into cold dread, seeping sickeningly into the stomach. To hear his bold elder brother speak this way, to witness the seriousness in his eyes, made the younger turtle rethink this entire mission. Had he misunderstood what was going to happen? Was this going to be worse than he’d previously believed? Or was this another case of Leonardo being paranoid and over thinking?

“If this mission goes badly, if things escalate out of control, the Ancient One will care for the children, so don’t worry on that front,” the older ninja continued, not meeting burning green eyes. “She will raise and care for them well, I have no doubt about that. But I…” He took a deep breathe. “They’re your children, too, Raphael.” The acknowledgement was a whisper on the wind. “And if I don’t make it out of this battle alive, our children deserve to know at least one parent.”

“Don’t talk like that!” the bigger turtle hissed, anger covering the fear he felt shake him to his core. “We’ll make it outta here and get ta raise our babies together.”

No reply was given to the ardent declaration. Raphael was considering grabbing his brother and shaking him until all the nonsense fell out or kissing some sense into him, but knew neither would help, nor would they be welcomed. He knew Leo well enough to know that any current advances would only hurt his cause.

Raph watched sadly as Leo stood, stepped farther away from him. “We should get some sleep. Goodnight.”

And like always, the shogun managed to slip away into the shadows, leaving Raph alone with a menacing expectation for the days to come.

**oOoOoOo**

“Dude…”

Riding into the army camp was a rather impressive sight, leaving the Terrans gawking. Rows and rows of tents with crowds of different species watching the group ride in. The curiosity or suspicion in the guarded looks instantly fell away when they noticed the Shogun riding proudly through the encampment. The level of respect was astounding, all the soldiers stopping what they were doing if they saw the Shogun, bowing low in the shadow of the armored warlord.

When the party stopped beside a large tent that obviously served for meeting, they were greeted by a stern looking macaque and the rhinoceros Raphael had fought against in Yamaguchi. And the moment the large rhino saw Raphael, who was by the disgruntled Usagi, he burst out laughing. “Well!” he cried, as they dismounted. “I see once again fate has made a fool of us all.”

Leonardo didn’t react as he walked past them and into the tent, followed closely by the macaque, while Usagi threw the rhino a longsuffering look. April rolled her eyes as she walked by, her bag slung over her shoulder. She muttered something to the big male that Raph couldn’t hear, but it had the rhino laughing.

The others stood awkwardly, Mikey staring blatantly at the rhino, obviously comparing him to Rocksteady. But before the youngest could make an ass of himself or get them into trouble, Raph grabbed his brother by the back of the head and dragged the turtle away into the tent. “Come on, knucklehead.”

When everyone finally filed in, Leo had his _kabuto_ off and was standing behind a table with the primate, April beside him. Glancing up, the shogun glanced at the group while the rhino closed the tent flaps behind them. “Everyone, this is General Matsumoto Tamotsu,” he nodded to the primate, who bowed, “and Murakami Gennosuke. These are my brothers, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo, and our good friend, Casey Jones.” As everyone sized each other up, bowing politely, Leo didn’t let the introductions stall him. “Report?”

“No significant activity,” the general began emotionlessly. “Word has reached us of the ninja amassing in or around Miyagi. Our men are ready and awaiting your orders, _dono_.”

Nodding, the shogun turned to the rhino. “Have you found anything?”

Gennosuke itched under his chin, nodding. “I’ve received word from Miyagi.”

“Akio?”

“In position.”

“I have a message for him,” Leonardo held out a piece of parchment that the rhino took immediately with a bow before walking out without another word. Turning back to Tamotsu, Leo said, “Gather the other commanders. We’ll go over the battle plans within the hour.”

“ _Hai_ , Shogun-sama,” the macaque bowed. “And Lord Noriyuki?”

The turtle didn’t even pause, organizing his maps, setting his journal on the table. “He is in position.”

The general walked out, doing as commanded, while April gestured for the others to sit as they waited for the commanders. The statement instantly sat wrong with Raph, as he watched his elder brother. Remembering the sweet parting between the shogun and the _daimyo,_ the current coldness, the calculation he saw in his brother’s eyes, left the big turtle disturbed.

“Dude, you’re like royalty here!” Mikey laughed, grinning as a dog brought in tea. “This is _cray-zy_! Oo! Will they do anything for you? Can we make them juggle or something?”

The glare Leo sent the youngest shut Mikey up instantly. As the newly arrived were allowed to relax momentarily from their hard journey, men came in whispering quietly to the shogun, who whispered back, before they shuffled out. Raph tried to listen in, realizing that despite the big talk the day before, his brother was still not telling them everything. But of course Leonardo was a step ahead, and made certain to keep his interactions clipped, everything simple so that none of them could follow along without deeper context. Only Usagi and April appeared at ease around the soldiers.

To give them all something to do, after they’d taken refreshments, Leo asked April to take Mikey and Casey around camp to gather supplies for their venture, while Usagi was asked to take Donnie and Raph to inspect equipment. It was obvious Big Brother wanted to be alone. Raph stood with the others, pretending to go along with the plan, but lingered in the back while the rabbit took Donnie, and slipped back into the tent, finding Leo sitting and flipping through his journal.

“You should be with Usagi.” Leo didn’t seem surprised that Raph had returned.

“Yer not tellin’ us everything,” he accused directly, sitting in front of the shogun. “Why?”

“Because I don’t have the time to explain everything, and you don’t need to know.”

It was a testament to how much Leonardo had changed that he didn’t even pretend to deny or attempt to refute the accusation. “Really?” Raph growled.

“It’s not important, Raphael. You should stay focused on our mission. Don’t let anything distract you.”

“Whadya mean when ya said Lord Noriyuki is ‘in position’?” Following his brother’s advice, Raphael stuck to his purpose, refusing to be lulled into a false sense of ease.

At last Leo looked up, face devoid of emotion, but he didn’t say a word. There wasn’t an ounce of warmth in his lover eyes. This turtle was a completely different male to the gentle parent and hero to the young _daimyo_. That turtle was gone.

Something clicked in the younger ninja’s brain. “Yer usin’ him. Ya manipulated the Ancient One, didn’t ya? And yer usin’ the kid somehow by sendin’ him ta Kyoto.”

Blue eyes held, but when he still didn’t speak, Raphael felt disgust burning sickeningly in his gut. “Yer usin’ an old lady and a _kid_ in yer fucked up power-trip?!”

“I’m doing what needs to be done.” It wasn’t spoken as an excuse.

Raph felt his blood run cold. “Yer not even gunna deny it?”

“You’ve already damned me, why bother explaining more?”

“BECAUSE I WANNA _KNOW_!” Raph bellowed, not caring who heard them outside. “Holy fuck, Leo! What the hell happened to ya? Yer not even _tryin’_ here!”

The turtle was quiet, just staring blankly at his former lover. The old Leo would’ve been flustered by now, would have defended himself. But the year away had been rough, twisting the turtle Raphael had adored. Remembering their conversation the night before, he desperately grabbed for anything he could use to shake the shogun, to bring back the turtle he knew.

“Yer not the same anymore, Leo. How can I help ya if I don’t _know_ ya?”

Blue eyes shifted off to the side, and Raph counted it as a small victory. There was a long, drawn out silence before Leo sighed. “Lord Noriyuki needs to be in Kyoto whether or not we win this battle. He’ll in perfect position to stake claim upon the throne either way.”

Calming at the explanation, Raph nodded, forcing himself not to demand more. Patience. Damnit to hell, he had to be patient. “The Ancient One?”

“She doesn’t take sides in conflict. I’m…forcing her hand.”

The threat the old woman issued the shogun before they left played through Raph’s head, and he was suddenly concerned for Leonardo. While seemingly in good spirits about the trick, he knew better than to trust the witch. It was very possible Leo had set himself up to be a major target later.

“That all?” he demanded.

“I don’t want to fight about this, Raphael.” The fact that he didn’t answer directly once again frustrated his brother. “Now’s the time to focus on the battle. Come.”

Completely unsatisfied, completely appalled by his brother’s apathy, Raph felt his heart ache as he stood, following Leo out of the tent. Even if they survived this war, even if they won and were able to return to their children, the struggle wasn’t going to be over. At least not between them. Not only was Raph going to have to fight to regain his brother’s love and trust, he might very well have to fight to bring back his brother’s humanity as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: I promise it will be the start of lots more action!


	35. Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang departs for battle, but not before Raphael swallows some more hard truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY!! I feel like I owe a bit of an explanation here. Between family graduations, Husband graduating with his masters, getting ready to move states, bouncing back and forth between states to apartment shop, and now packing like a crazy person, I've been kept busy.
> 
> Good news! The next few chapters are basically written and only need editing, so they'll be posted much sooner. 
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me and I hope you enjoy!

Later that evening when Leo was thoroughly distracted with the rhino – whom Raphael found out was actually a bounty hunter and not an officer or part of the general military – looking through armor, the big turtle decided that he needed answers. And since Leonardo was being a stubborn jackass, Raph turned his attention to the next person who could know what was wrong with the shogun.

“April.”

The human turned at the call and when she realized who it was, what little peace in her expression faltered, giving away to a curious blank. But Raph wasn’t going to be dissuaded. He knew how this worked, and as good as the young woman was, she was nowhere near Leonardo’s skill when it came to hiding emotion. But she had obviously anticipated some kind of confrontation with him long ago and now easily threw up her mental shields. Seeing this only firmed the turtle’s resolve to get to the bottom of this.

“We need ta talk.”

Nodding crisply, April motioned to the side, and after finding a relatively empty area where they could speak privately without fear of running into any of their friends, she sat down by a fire waiting for him to start. Raph decided not to waste time. “What the fuck’s goin’ on with Leo?”

Blue eyes dulled. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”

Sneering, barely restraining himself from rushing the human to get in her face, Raph spat, “I gotta spell it out? What the _hell happened_?! He’s…! H-he’s not the same anymore…”

A heavy sigh escaped the kunoichi as she leaned back on her hands, staring at Raph as if by doing so she could communicate everything he wanted to know, everything she was feeling, without the use of words. But instead of getting angry or directly responding to the emotions, April took the time to think. “No, he’s not,” she agreed, blowing a strand of red hair out of her face. “This whole thing – the war, being stranded, your leaving – it’s not been good on him. It’s not been good on anyone.”

“I get it,” the ninja cried, but managing to keep his voice down. “I fucked up royally. I’m a major asshole and shouldn’t expect things ta just go back to the way it was before. _I get it._ But this isn’t about that, April. Leo’s _different_. Like, fucked beyond what I thought _could_ fuck ‘im up. What happened? What’s really goin’ on?”

A few soldiers passed by, their eyes lingering on the pair, obviously drawn by the heated conversation, by the aggressiveness of the turtle’s posture, the strangeness of April’s appearance. Thankfully, however, they kept on their way without stopping. The pair waited a moment more to ensure that there was no one listening – not that the natives could have understood English – April taking the time to compose her response.

“I guess the simple way to put it is there was a string of betrayals,” she rubbed her temple. “And it began with you.”

Despite knowing it was coming, Raph cringed, breaking eye contact for the first time. “A-and after?”

“After…after we waited for a long time for the Fugitoid to find us, but were forced to conclude he was dead. There was the trauma of birth, of realizing we were probably never getting home, of being manipulated into serving in the war, watching Hebi’s men destroy everything. But it was after the kidnapping, of being betrayed by someone we all trusted so much, that cemented him into what you see now,” the human sighed. “That was nearly a month ago. And I haven’t been able to get through to him since.”

“You guys were tricked inta helpin’ with the war?” Raph frowned, head spinning with all the information so carelessly thrown out. But it was a start. At least April was willing to open up.

“Yes.”

It took a deep breath and then another before Raph could muster the control over his temper. One thing at a time. “So how do we get him back?”

“We don’t.” The simple statement slapped the turtle in the face unexpectedly, but before he could argue, April held up a hand for peace. “We can’t force Leo to be the way he was before all this, Raphael. Too much’s happened over the last year. He’s been hurt. The best we can do now is be there for him when he needs us, as he works through things on his own.”

Hopelessness threatened to consume the turtle and it was tempting to give in. To accept the fact that the brother he knew might very well be gone forever. Because Leonardo was not one to turn to others when he needed help. He was not someone that showed his weaknesses willingly. There had been a time when Leo had opened up to him, had allowed himself to be weak and even submitted to Raphael, but those days were gone. In all likelihood, Leonardo would never accept Raph after what he’d done. That opportunity had disappeared, and as much as it sickened him, Raph knew he would have to live with the consequences of his actions. There was no magic button to undo the damage he’d caused, no second chances.

But flashes of his lover with their children, the small smiles, the quiet moments they’d sat together whether watching over their babies or working on plans sprang to mind. The way the elder turtle hesitated when speaking to him about their relationship. While Leo demanded that Raphael let him make his own choices, he had yet to truly denounce Raph’s attempts to win him back. He hadn’t, in so many words, given Raph a solid ‘ _no_.’ He’d even allowed Raph to kiss him a few times without making too much of a fuss over it. Wisdom from their father rang in his mind, whispering to him to be patient, to keep moving forward, even when things were dark, to never give up hope. There was always hope.

Frowning into the small fire still burning, the turtle stood and decided to take a walk around camp. He needed some time to think, to work over what had been said, what he was feeling. He’d always had issues working out his emotions, could never translate them into anything that remotely made sense to him, let alone anyone else. But this? It was purgatory, floating around in a sea of guilt and anger and so many other things he couldn’t name without knowing his fate. When he went into space looking for Leo, he’d thought he knew himself, thought he finally understood what he was feeling. But the more he thought, the more he wondered what it was that he truly _needed_. Nothing was like he thought it would be, what he expected. It wasn’t just about him or Leo anymore either, there were children added to the mix. Maybe it was time to stop, to really focus on what was most important. Not just for him, but for Leonardo and the children.

Eventually he found himself back at the meeting tent that served as the shogun’s quarters and found it uninhabited. There weren’t even servants around. Pleased with the emptiness, the big turtle for the first time in a long time willingly sat down and lit incense, intent on meditating. Maybe the Ancient One hadn’t just been an annoying shit hell-bent on driving him insane. Maybe it was time to find his center, to think about the bigger picture.

The smell of sandalwood soon filled the tent. Closing his eyes, Raph took a deep breath in through his nostrils before exhaling through his mouth, attempting to slow his heartrate. He did this several times before he felt the tautness of muscles loosening in his neck and shoulders. When he was calm, the blackness of his mind conjure images of an ocean inspired by the fragrant scent wafting in the air. For several minutes his mind’s eye saw nothing save the ocean, cool and deep. He was weightless and suspended within the waves, before falling into the inky blackness of the depths below that called to him sweetly.

“ _Raphael…_ ”

Gasping, Raph lurched forward involuntarily as his meditation was suddenly broken by a loud _clang_ outside the tent. Panting, sweat rolling down his face, the turtle turned wide eyes towards the entrance and could make out the shadows of two figures. Still shaking from the strenuous mental ordeal, Raph couldn’t even be annoyed at being interrupted from his meditation. Instead he sat breathing, trying to make sense of what he felt. All he could clearly recall was the intensity of the experience, the pressure, as though he’d been submerged into deep water for too long. What had compelled him towards the bottom of the ocean into the blackness eluded him, but he knew he wanted it. More than anything, he wanted it.

It took another minute to get his breathing under control, and when he did and thought to make his way back to the tent he was assigned to sleep in for the night, the voices outside became clearer. Recognizing them, he perked up, ears straining to hear.

“ – prepared.” There came another quieter clang, as if armor had been dropped.

“Good.” It was Leonardo. “You will have to keep Gennosuke-san in line while you’re at the front.”

“I will do what I can,” came Usagi’s voice. He sounded putout, unhappy. “But Leonardo-san…are you certain about this? Perhaps I should go with you t –”

“Usagi-san,” Leo sighed, and Raph was unable to help himself as he peeled back the flap of the tent just enough to see his elder brother standing with the samurai. “We’ve been over this. Many times. This is a mission for ninja. I have every confidence in my team and I need you at the front to keep up appearances. We cannot have Lord Hebi believing that there is anything amiss. The element of surprise _must_ be maintained. I cannot allow anyone to even imagine that we could be up to anything else.”

“I can understand,” Usagi agreed. “But Gennosuke-san?”

“He’s the only one that can fill out my armor.” There was amusement in Leo’s voice that Raph found good to hear.

“If that is so, why can we not find someone else to masquerade as me so that I can accompany you?”

“I need you at the front,” Leonardo stressed once more with a sharp shake of his head. “You’re the only one I trust for this, my friend.”

It was said so gently, almost lovingly, that Raph ground his teeth together, temper stoked. But it wasn’t just because of the words his brother used, nor the tone in which he said them in to the rabbit. Dread seeped into his bones when Raphael found himself wondering if this could be another instance where Leonardo was manipulating someone to get what he wanted. Leo had told Raph that he was the only one he could count on when facing Hebi, now he was telling Usagi he was the only one he could count on to lead the frontal assault. Did Leo truly believe this due to their merits? Or was this another trick? Manipulating them into complying with his need to play shogun? To be in control? In the past, the younger turtle would have scoffed at the idea of his older brother seriously playing with their lives like this, but now…

Usagi bowed his head, a small frown on his face. He wasn’t happy about being separated from Leonardo, especially since Leo would be facing Hebi. But after a moment of brooding, the rabbit looked up to the shogun, determination blazing in dark eyes. “I shall not fail you, Leonardo-san. I swear it.”

A small smile slipped onto the leader’s lips. “I know you won’t.”

Before the shogun could go and properly enter his tent, Usagi grabbed the turtle’s wrist, holding firm so Leo couldn’t pull away. The determination did not lessen in the rabbit’s eyes as he stared up at Leo, who watched curiously. Leonardo opened his mouth, probably to ask what the rabbit was doing, before Usagi surged forward.

All the air was sucked from Raph’s lungs, his chest aching as he watched the love of his life being kissed by another man. It was as if the world had fallen on top of him, crushing him to death. He waited, frozen in place, for Leonardo’s reaction, willing his lover to shove the rabbit away, to chastise him for the inappropriate act. But it never happened. Instead, Leo remained still as Usagi kissed him, arms slack at his sides, waiting until the rabbit pulled away first. And when Usagi did after a small eternity, the shogun’s expression wasn’t one of surprise or disgust, only acceptance.

It was strange to see the normally pinched face of the rabbit so open as he searched the shogun’s. A hand resting on the turtle’s cheek, Usagi stroked it gently with his thumb. “I’ve sworn my loyalty to you as shogun, Leonardo-san, but you must know that my feelings go deeper than such simple allegiances.”

There was only slight hesitation before Leo nodded. “I know.”

A beat of silence followed as the pair stood regarding one another, Usagi searching, Leonardo unreadable. “When this is over, stay. With me,” the rabbit murmured quietly, hand still posed over the ninja’s cheek. “I will take care of you, your children. I will not abandon you.”

Even in the darkness of the night Raph saw something pass over his brother’s face before it vanished. “I know.”

When nothing more was offered, the samurai finally dropped his hand, nodding slowly, knowing he would get nothing else tonight. “Think about it, Leonardo-chan,” he had the audacity to kiss Leo’s palm. “There is much I can offer you.”

Touch still lingering on the shogun’s arm, slowly Usagi turned and walked off into the night, Leonardo watching, his silhouette oddly lonely in the midst of the active camp. There was a thoughtfulness that danced across the leader’s face, one that Raphael couldn’t read and didn’t want to. When Leo made his way into the tent, Raph disappeared. When the shogun entered, all that was left to be seen was incense still burning in its holder.

**oOoOoOo**

Stomach still churning, mind helplessly replaying images of Usagi and Leonardo plagued Raphael the rest of the night into the early hours of the morning. An onslaught of homicidal rage consumed the turtle as he remained defenseless against the memory, tormented until he could find no hope of relief. There was only one reason why he wasn’t upturning the camp until he found the rodent to rip him limb from limb, and that was the knowledge that his ex-lover might very well be _in love_ with his Second. When tempted to kill the rabbit, Raph’s mind conjured images of Leonardo demanding that the younger turtle let him make his own choices. Which cruelly reminded Raphael that things were not as they once were, that he had screwed up. That while left unspoken, he had lost all chance of recovering the leader’s affections. Leonardo was moving on, and it was without Raph.

Since witnessing the display the night before, the hothead wandered out just past the camp into the nearby meadow, trying and failing to compose himself. He spent hours agonized by the realization that he’d officially lost, that the turtle he loved no longer loved him. Had Leonardo ever truly loved him? Each thought became more horrifying than the last until all he wanted to do was curl up and die rather than continue feeling the pain he was feeling now.

The approaching dawn was the only thing that eventually spurred the turtle back towards camp, and only because they would have to leave soon, the fate of this world depending on him playing his role in ending the war. Still burning with fury, more wounded than he’d ever been in his life, the ninja felt a bitter stab at his heart when the first person he saw that morning was Leonardo, standing at the edge of camp.

The fight or flight instinct surged through the big turtle as he paused, unsure what he was going to do. A part of him wanted to rip the shogun apart, while another just wanted to run away and never have to face Leonardo. It came to be that the brothers stood regarding the other silently as Raph struggled to make a decision. When he didn’t speak, Leo broke the stalemate. “Where have you been?” he asked gently, taking a few steps forward, but not closing the gap completely. “We looked for you last night.”

Green eyes narrowed as a sneer worked its way onto his lips as the anger won out. “Sure ya did.”

Blinking, Leo studied his brother more closely. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’,” Raphael spat, that overwhelming desire to hurt Leonardo as much as Leo was hurting him nearly making him do something he’d regret. Struggling to quell the urge, he attempted to stalk past the shogun to get ready for their journey.

He didn’t make it too far before Leo caught him by the upper arm. “Raph…?”

Something inside of him snapped. Before he knew what he was doing, Raph spun around and grabbed Leonardo, one hand fisting into the black shirt to pull his brother forward, the other wrapping around his neck. Angrily he smashed their lips together, pouring all of the hate, desperation, and longing into the kiss, the force of it making the older turtle gasp. He could actually feel Leonardo shaking in his grasp, the leader almost buckling under the abuse, held up only by Raphael.

When he decided to end the kiss, the bigger turtle pulled back, glaring down heartbrokenly at his ex-lover whose chest was heaving as he stared up with wide blue eyes. Unable to decide if he should be pleased with the expression on Leo’s face or not, the grip around the back of his brother’s neck tightened in his continued frustration. “I got a hellova lot ta offer ya, too,” his voice cracked, eyes sparking. “Remember that.”

Without another word he pushed the elder ninja away, too hurt and furious to stand looking at him any longer. Instead he stalked to the tent he was supposed to share with Donnie, storming in and grabbing his pack. The genius was already up, watching his immediate older brother, but smartly keeping quiet.

When everything was ready, the ninja all met at the center of camp to load up the beasts they would be riding and take off. It might have been surprising to the others to note that Leonardo was the last to arrive on the scene, but Raph knew what had likely made the leader tardy. April had just volunteered to retrieve the shogun when he arrived at last, the sun just peeking out over the horizon.

Surrounded by generals, the warlord was crisp in giving one final lecture. “Remember the plan,” Leonardo began for what had to be the millionth time since going over the strategies with the commanders the day before. “If all goes well, if you follow my direction exactly, by the end of the day Lord Noriyuki’s sovereignty will be assure.” Around the ninja team, the commanders nodded soberly, none more so than Usagi.

“Good luck, _dono_ ,” General Matsumoto Tamotsu bowed low to the shogun. “We will do everything within our powers to guarantee success.

“I wish you success,” Usagi nodded to the group of Terrans, who all bowed back politely. All save Raph, who adamantly refused to give honor to the rodent, and Casey, who had no idea what was going on at the moment.

The rabbit continued to stare intently at the shogun long after he straightened from the bow, holding Leo’s eye, but no words were passed. With a thrill of jealousy Raph couldn’t help but wonder if there was a message being shared between the two. But just before the seconds stretched on too long, Leonardo turned away, mounting on the back of his black _abumi-guchi_. “Good luck to you all,” he wished, and signaled for departure.

But just before they spurred their mounts on, blue eyes were caught eyeing Raphael. When he turned more fully to glare at his elder brother, however, Leo turned away, already galloping on, forcing the others to follow into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> abumi-guchi – (lit.) stirrup-mouth.  
> Technically it’s a Japanese monster (yokai) that looks differently than what I’ve been describing their horse-like creatures, but I like the name, seemed fitting, and their ‘animals’ are different, so…yeah. Just go with it, please. :)


	36. Into the Fray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group makes it to Miyagi and the battle begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New state, new internet, I should be ready to go!

The journey to Miyagi was sheer torture for Raphael as he rode behind the others, allowing his _abumi-guchi_ lag. Normally he hated days of doing nothing but traveling, of sitting on a big animal for hours at a time without really being able to talk to anyone. But today it was a blessing. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, emotions a raging turbulence. He shuddered to think of what he’d do should anyone speak to him.

While he tried not to look towards the front, his eyes always strayed to Leonardo. Even from behind the sight of Leo pained him, and the turtle was left wondering what had happened to his brother while here on this God-forsaken planet. What had happened to the honorable, kindhearted, slightly arrogant elder brother that he had fallen in love with? How had he become so cold, detached, _unemotional_? But the biggest and most abhorrent question burning in his brain was, _what was the rabbit to Leo_?!

Raph was absolutely furious, never having felt a rage quite like this before. The closest was when he’d thought Leo had a female lover when he first arrived at the Ancient One’s, and the heartache then was comparable to now. But unlike before, Raphael wasn’t left floundering to image, wasn’t left in doubt. Now he _knew_ who his beloved’s new lover was, _saw_ the affection between the two. It wasn’t some nice, sweet girl that had captured his brother’s interest – Raphael might have been able to swallow the truth better if it were such a girl.

Why, of all the beings on this planet, had Leo decided to fall in love with a smug, conceited, _asshole_ like Usagi? How could Leo not see what the rodent was? How could he _kiss_ the fucker? Did he think the rabbit was being romantic? Was he really a sucker for that shit?

When tears slipped past his watch Raph didn’t bother to wipe them away. He was grateful no one saw him. He was so angry, devastated, it was hard to breathe. His heart was completely shattered, the shards impaling him from the inside out.

Since they were on a mission, the ninja did not stop, even when Casey had asked. It was hard to hear over the pounding hooves of the _abumi-guchi_ and the wind rushing past their ears, but not impossible. While one could make the case that Leo did not hear the request, Raphael knew his brother had more than likely ignored it. While bad when they were younger, Leonardo’s one-tract mind had only gotten worse. He had his objective, had his plan. _Nothing_ else mattered. He would run their _abumi-guchi_ into the ground if he believed it would save them time to reach the city of their enemy.

After several hours, Raph managing to calm a bit, they arrived on the outskirts of Miyagi.

“Ho-ly Chalupa,” Mikey breathed as they beheld the city, pausing briefly to assess their surroundings within a small wooded area.

“Stay alert,” Leo ordered sharply.

It was a hard order to follow, even for Raphael who was still stewing in his hate and jealousy. Miyagi was a city unlike anything the Earthers had ever seen. Carved out of the very mountains themselves, Miyagi was ancient and modern at the same time. It was something taken straight out of Leonardo’s old fantasy stories, and like any other mythical city from legends, there was a tall, thick wall that stood erected all around, a clear testament of strength to warn away invaders. There were skyscraper-like structures that must have been salvaged and somewhat restored after the world was plunged back into the feudal age, and even from their great distance, Raphael knew there were modern roads and not simple footpaths or narrow streets from the other towns they’d seen. Miyagi must have once been a great, bustling metropolis.

But they weren’t here to sightsee, and while mid-afternoon, they still had a ways to go before they neared their destination up in the mountains.

The entire ride, Raphael fought viciously with himself to not think about the night before, tried not to look at Leonardo, who appeared unfazed by everything that had passed in the last twelve hours or so. Cold, indifferent, the Shogun was in full reign, and after sparing a glance at the others, Raph knew he wasn’t the only one that hated to see it.

Mikey was oddly quiet that morning, his normally happy chatter noticeably absent. Since having a long talk with his eldest brother the day before, Michelangelo had adopted a quieter disposition, mind surprisingly focused on the task at hand. While Raphael had no idea what was said between the two, he knew that Leonardo must have frightened their brother into submission, outlining in detail what would happen if they should fail. It was not a tactic that any of them liked to use against their baby brother, but it was undeniably effective. It was strange to see the baby of the family so grim, seriousness reflecting unnaturally in his eyes.

Donnie, too, stared out over the city with a grave frown, his mind no doubt working on a million different contingency plans should anything go wrong. While it was usually best for a ninja to pack lightly, to be as stealthy and agile as possible, there was a thick sack slung across the genius’s shell, filled to the brim with extra supplies, tech, and medical supplies. Despite being a truly capable warrior and skilled among the best, Don’s best qualities laid outside of the fighting realm. He shined brightest when able to showcase his intelligence.

Casey was the only one that wasn’t quite as dour as everyone else. While not taking their assignment lightly, the human had the luxury of not understanding everything around him. Even though the others translated, there were somethings that Casey just couldn’t understand. Nor was it necessary for him to. In a weird twist, it was Casey who became the morale officer, since Leonardo’s new severity had dulled Mikey’s usually upbeat attitude.

Of course both April and Leo were quiet along the journey, April only speaking when spoken to and Leonardo not saying a word unless it was to give an order. The two were so close, the young woman the only one able to draw any sort of true emotion from the shogun now. If it weren’t for her, Leo would probably not speak at all. It was as though he were made of stone, so empty it was painful. And what was worse, he never once looked Raph’s way.

As they came around the city and towards the secret path, they soon discarded the _abumi-guchi_ at the base of the mountain as a marker for when reinforcements arrived in approximately half an hour later. Up close the climb appeared significantly steeper than it had on the map or from how Leo had described it. The wall of rock was nearly completely vertical with little option for footing, but they’d climb anyway. There was no other choice.

Through sheer force of will Raph focused solely on the mission, working to keep his emotions in check. Without waiting for consent, he took Donnie’s heavy pack and slung it over his shell. While capable of climbing, Donnie was not in practice anymore. He’d been out of shape when Raph returned to Earth – the same for Mikey – and the elder turtle didn’t want to take any chances. His brothers needed all their concentration on climbing and he didn’t want Don fretting over the heavy bag. The next big concern was Casey, but before Raph could do anything he found Leo already tying a rope around his waist before beckoning Casey over. The human was much less used to such climbs and would need the help.

Donning _shinobi shuko_ and _ashiko,_ Leo turned to regard his team. “Remember,” he began in almost a whisper despite there being no one in sight. “Casey, April will be holding the opening as the rest of us continue on to the weapon. Once reinforcements arrive, find us to help Don and Mikey. After you’re there, Raphael and I will go after Lord Hebi. Understood?”

The group nodded seriously, even as a part of Raph wondered bitterly how Leo could pretend that their encounter that morning had never occurred. But then again, Leonardo had always been the master of concentration, able to shove aside feeling when needed. It was one of the qualities he both despised and appreciated about his brother. And trying so hard to follow that lead, even when it felt wrong to ignore all that had happened, Raph worked to push his own emotions to the side as they began climbing.

It was almost like they’d never been out of practice at all, the troupe scaling the wall, movements nearly silent. Donnie and Mikey were doing well, Raph noted as he kept a watchful eye on his brothers. April was fine, looked like she’d been doing this her whole life. Only Casey struggled, but because of the connecting rope around Leonardo, who appeared to have merged with the stone before him, the human was safe from accident. By the time they reached the top nearly forty-five minutes later, everyone was shaky limbed and panting.

“ _Please_ tell me we can take a break?” Mikey whined, doubled over and puffing before plopping down on his rear. He’d lost the majority of the weight he’d gained from being inactive so long, but his muscles were still building themselves back up to standard.

Leo was scanning the narrow pathway, head up and alert. “Take a second,” he nodded. “But we need to get moving. The others will reach the base of the mountain soon. We need to have a path cleared for them.”

April passed a water-skin around for the group to drink, and after taking a swig, Raph walked over to Leo, green eyes bright as they staring off the direction his big brother was, ignoring the pang in his chest at being so close. “Hard an’ fast?”

The shogun nodded, not taking his eyes off the path. “No mercy.”

Nodding his understanding, the two waited a few moments for the others before creeping on. A seriousness descended upon the group as they stalked towards their target like a pack of wolves. They twisted along the path until they came to a sharp turn. Leo was sure to slow them down, forcing them to inch along as they neared the entrance. Peeking out around the corner, the leader scanned the area in search of a lookout. But due to its position and the impossibility of invasion from this spot, there was no one to be seen. From beyond they could pick up the trace sound of battle on the wind. Usagi had begun his attack.

For the first time since their confrontation, Leo turned and stared at Raph pointedly. Knowing what he meant, and feeling his frustrations boiling hotly just under the surface, the two elder turtles counted down from three silently before the bigger turtle kicked down the door, slashing at anything near. There were only several guards, all of them having been leaning lazily by the door. The two eldest turtles were quick to dispatch them. As Raph and Leo took them out, the others made sure to lower the bodies down silently, not wanting to cause a commotion so early on if they didn’t have to. The bodies were pulled aside and hidden away before the group sneaked further into the fortress. Leo gave the humans a signal before gesturing for his brothers to follow after him.

It felt like the old days, the four turtles on a hunt through mysteries unknown. Blood pumping, muscles taut, attention focused. It was at times like these that Raphael never felt more alive. Adrenaline coursing through his veins, hands gripping tightly around the leather of his sai. Life made sense when it was black and white, a fight of life or death.

Trailing behind their leader for the first time in over a year, the brothers were in perfect sync. As they rounded a corner, however, someone came around from the other side. Without hesitation, Raphael pulled Leo behind him, seizing the enemy by the throat, and thrusting his sai towards the shocked face. It was a testament to how strong and fast Leo was when he caught his brother’s arm, jerking back to save the unsuspecting victim at the last minute.

Scowling, but not taking his eyes off the being caught in his grasp, Raph was a bit surprised when he realized he knew the face. It was a fox, dark eyes bright with fear and surprise, fur a deep orange, as his hands scratched at the fist closed around his throat, clawing lightly to free himself. It was the man from Yamaguchi, the one that had tried to help Raph get Yoshi out of the town.

Slowly releasing his hold, the mammal gasped, coughing as he doubled over, tears standing out in his eyes. Leonardo placed a hand on the man’s shoulder, waiting for him to collect himself before speaking. “You made it.”

Still coughing, the fox glanced up, a slight smirk on his lips. “’Course,” he grinned, sharp teeth exposed. It was an expression Raph was pretty sure he’d seen somewhere else before. “Damn,” he muttered, lightly fingering his bruising neck. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“You should have,” Leonardo chastised. “Which way?”

Once able to breathe normally, the fox nodded. “Right. This way.” Leo didn’t falter as he followed, forcing the others into action. It was several minutes later when Raphael realized that this man had to be Leonardo’s spy: Akio.

Twisting through the halls of what was surely a labyrinth, they descended into the bowls of the structure. They ran into only a few men, whom were taken out easily amongst the ninja. Along the way, Akio muttered information to Leo, who listened gravely.

Finally stopping, both the fox and the shogun peeked around a corner, a strange light glowing from below. “There,” the mammal pointed.

The younger turtles crept forward to see. Shock was quick to take its hold on them. “By Darwin’s beard,” Donnie’s mouth fell open at the sight. “I-it’s a _Peacekeeper_.”

Down below was what appeared to be a nuclear warhead. It was alarmingly large, at least five times longer than Raphael, and with more than enough power to take out the country.

“H-how bad?” Mikey whispered, pale eyes round, taking in the sight.

“Oh, not bad. Just between 300 to 475 _kilotons of TNT_!” the genius hissed, his hands beginning to shake.

Beside Don, Mikey tore his eyes away from the weapon and to his immediate older brother. “That sounds like a lot,” he whimpered.

“Just about twenty-two times _more destructive_ than the nuke ‘Fat Man’ they dropped on Nagasaki _**bad**_!”

“Shut it!” Raph snarled, but was internally shaken as well. While by no means a history buff, even he had seen the footage of the bombing of Nagasaki, and if this thing had twenty-two times more power, there was no telling what kind of destruction it could truly unleash.

“Donatello,” Leo snapped, capturing his brothers’ attention. “Can you disarm it?”

The genius stared at his older brother a moment before looking back down at the nuke, slowly pushing down his anxiety and panic. “Yeah…yeah, I think so. I don’t exactly have a lot of equipment with me, b-but I should have what I need. If I can diffuse Kraang bombs without knowing what I was doing, I should be able to stop this, right?” he gave a humorless laugh.

“That’s the spirit!” Mikey gave his brother a light punch in the arm for encouragement.

“Those are the men Hebi assigned to figure out how that thing works,” Akio spoke up, pointing to the dozens of men working around the bomb. “They’ve been trying to figure it out without accidently using it on themselves.”

“Donatello’s got this,” Leonardo declared confidently. “Are there any more men around guarding the entrance to this room?”

“I do not believe there are many,” the fox shook his head thoughtfully. “Since the battle begun, many of the soldiers and ninja have been diverted to the front. Lord Hebi plans to launch this… _thing_ … today.” He eyed the nuke uneasily.

“Okay,” Leo nodded, scanning the area. “Akio-san, I want you to sneak around the top and block the doors, keep everyone out as long as we can. Raph, Mikey, and I will take out the men working. Donnie, your main priority is to get to work disarming that thing and making sure it can never be used again. Mikey, once these men are dispatched, you stick close to Don. Reinforcements should arrive soon if they aren’t already on their way, so April and Casey are coming. Raph, you and I will take out whoever’s outside the door as we move on with our objective.”

“What about me?” Akio asked, clearly itching to be of use. “What would you have me do, _dono_?”

“I need you to tell me exactly where Lord Hebi is located, then I want you to go back to where we entered to guide my other teammates here. After, help them hold this position. Is everyone clear?”

As soon as everyone nodded, they were up in a flash, stalking their prey, waiting for Akio to set the trap. Being known around the fortress, the fox was able to glide between workers, occasionally speaking to the ones that passed as scientists in this time, and making up excuses for his presence flawlessly. Raph could see why Usagi was hesitant to trust this guy. He was good. Almost too good. It actually made the turtle wonder if Akio could truly be trusted. But Leo had faith in the fox, so that had to be good enough.

The moment they saw the fox close the doors, blocking it with what looked similar to a large computer tower, the turtles struck. Like shadows, the ninja made quick work of the confused men. Thankfully it seemed that there were very few fighters among them, as they easily fell to Raphael’s sai. In less than ten minutes, all the men were either dead or incapacitated, Leo tying up the survivors to ensure that when they came to, they wouldn’t cause trouble.

Donnie had taken up residence by that time at the terminals, rusty eyes roving over the controls as he attempted to figure out just what these primitive scientists had done, and if he could stop the nuke from being launched. Faithfully Mikey stood beside his brother, chucks still out and spinning.

“Lord Hebi will be in the tallest building that is white,” Akio explained once he returned to the shogun’s side, panting slightly from the brief skirmish. His dark eyes remained bright, however, a look of awe on his features as he stared at the turtles, clearly impressed by their skill. “He will be at the top if he has not moved or fled the city yet.”

Leonardo nodded. “Go back to the path entrance and stay alert,” he stressed. “Bring the others back here. We’ll wait to leave until you’ve returned.”

The fox nodded eagerly before rushing off. Raph took the time to watch the mammal scurry off, scowling. “He seems ta know a lot,” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Sure we can trust that guy?”

“Of course we can,” Leo sniffed, walking towards the younger turtles.

“How’d’ya know? For sure?” the big turtle pressed, his instincts going haywire, warning him that things weren’t what they seemed.

“He owes a debt to me,” the shogun replied offhandedly. “Donnie,” he switched topics. “Can you stop this?”

The genius was slow to nod. “I think so, yes. I just need some time. This tech isn’t exactly parallel to that on Earth, but it’s close enough that I should be able to get it. Although things would be a lot easier if these idiots hadn’t played with everything, screwing up the sequencing.”

“You’ll have time. Mikey, do anything he needs you to do. The others will be here soon.”

“Will do!” the youngest gave a mock salute.

Raph flinched slightly when he felt Leo take his elbow, guiding him up towards the blocked door. They could hear men on the other side, now, pounding on the doors, having been drawn by the sounds of the fight. The shogun and the warrior stood before the barrier, weapons drawn and stances ready. “Whatever comes through the door, do not hesitate,” Leo reminded quietly in English. “The only thing that matters is taking out Hebi.”

Locking eyes with the shogun, Raphael nodded gravely. “I got yer back, Fearless.”

When they heard rushing feet, Raph couldn’t help but give into the temptation of glancing back. He saw a shock of red hair, telling him that backup had arrived. With the shogun’s men finally having arrived, it was time to go. As his brother moved, Raph focused solely on the door and the men likely to rush in at any second. Getting only a nod from Leo, when the older turtle kicked away the barriers and the door was slammed open, Raphael launched himself at the confused men with a roar, slashing and tearing through them without a second thought.

With Leonardo by his side, the two brothers rushed into the fray together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shinobi shuko – ninja climbing claws  
> Ashiko – ninja foot spikes
> 
> The W87 is an American thermonuclear missile warhead. It was created for the use on the LGM- 118A Peacekeeper ICBM which contained up to 12 warheads per missiles deployed between 1986-2005.


	37. Battle Royale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo and Raphael fight their way towards Lord Hebi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday!

Cutting their way through the throng of men in their way, the two ninja made short work of the soldiers that they ran across, each completely focused on making it through the fortress and out of the building. To Lord Hebi. Their brothers and friends would be fending for themselves as no doubt Hebi’s own reinforcements would be called.

Opting for stealth when they could rather than force, the two turtles eventually found a small alley way to take shelter in and catch their breath from racing through the streets. Stopping and listening, they could hear the faint sounds of the battle raging below, outside the wall, as well as the panicked shuffle of civilians through the streets. There weren’t many people, however, in the upper ring, no doubt this being a section of the city reserved for the upper class. There would be little interference.

Readjusting the grip on his sai, Raph leaned in close behind Leo, intent on looking around the corner with the shogun. “Where to now, Fearless?” he whispered against his ear.

Leo didn’t bother to answer, simply pointed up to the tallest white building that was perhaps half a mile away. While the building itself was shorter than others, it stood out as the tallest, having been built higher up. From there it would be easy to look down the tiers of the entire city, as well as the land beyond. It gave the illusion of advantage with its higher ground. But the higher the pedestal, the farther the fall, and Raph couldn’t wait to topple this prick so they could go home.

With only a shared glance, the two started off again, keeping to the shadows as much as possible. While Leonardo had never said it, Raph knew that the true challenge was about to begin.

There were throngs of men rushing back and forth all over the city, some armored, others dressed lightly, but everyone carrying weapons. They weren’t armed civilians, Raph could tell by the way they moved. They were trained, probably better than the regular infantry men that was the first line of defense since they remained on the upper levels of the city. And from their sleek movement, he was also willing to bet that they had some kind of ninjitsu training. Leonardo had mentioned Lord Hebi preferred to employ ninja, the stealthy art more in line with his serpentine conniving.

When the streets appeared clear, Leo gave the signal and the brothers raced off, sticking to the shadows when they could. When they managed to make it to the entrance of the white building, there were of course guards. Pushing past his elder brother, Raphael flung himself into a fight. Unleashing the pent up rage at his fucked up life, the guards didn’t stand a chance. By the time their bodies littered the ground, Leonardo glared reproachfully, which Raph ignored.

“You need to wait for my signal, Raphael.”

“Ain’t got all day ta wait on _you_.”

There was more behind their words than either would like to admit, so it was silently agreed upon to ignore. Frustration snaked up Raph’s spine, tensing already hard muscles as he fell back into the shadows of the building, waiting for Leonardo’s lead. He could feel the control of his temper slipping out of his grasp, and he could only hope he wouldn’t fuck up this mission.

Finding a window, the two jumped through and began stalking through the enemy’s sanctuary. Like the last structure that housed the bomb, this white building must have been left over from the time before the war that destroyed the world. It was set up almost like a skyscraper, its rooms divided in what could have passed as old offices. This was just the sort of environment that the turtles were accustomed. They were finally truly back in their element. For a moment it was almost like they were back in TCRI, waiting for Kraang droids to pop out and shoot at them.

There were no Kraang, but there was a suspicious lack of resistance. If Raph had hair, it would have been standing on end by now. “Where is everyone?” he muttered.

Beside him, Leonardo was just as apprehensive. There was definitely something not right. There should have been more than just those few guards at the entrance, Raph realized. Unconsciously he inched closer to Leo.

As one unit the brothers crept farther along the dark building. Since there was no electricity, nor were there many windows, the area was bathed in shadow. It was unnaturally silent, and the turtles made certain that they kept it that way. Their feet didn’t make a sound.

A creak had the ninja pausing, turning sharply towards the source of the sound. Raph thought he caught a glimpse of a fleeting figure, but when he turned to point it out to Leo, he found his brother staring up at the ceiling. Dread filled the larger turtle, and reluctantly he looked up as well.

In an instant nearly fifty ninja leapt down from the tall ceiling and began to attack. They were monkeys, if their curling tails were any indication, but wore the traditional garb of ninja, covering their faces. Unlike their childhood foes in New York, these guys didn’t mess around. Without hesitation the monkeys were a flurry of activity, some of them even baring weapons in their tails. Having been in similar combat before while with the Salamandrians, Raphael knew that their best bet to combat the overwhelming odds was spinning attacks. They could allow their shells to deflect many of the blow and wipe the enemy out before the dopes realized that the shell wouldn’t yield easily and went for their legs instead.

Leo apparently had the same idea, and was already a whirlwind of death. While a perfectionist in the past and quite skilled, the ninja leader had become _flawless_. His technic was stunning, movements heart-wrenchingly graceful. He was beautiful, like a ballet dancer, so poised and confident. For a brief moment, Raph was actually frozen in place, awed by his ex-lover’s grace. The only thing saving his sorry ass was the fact that some of the moneys appeared just as surprised by the speed and precision. But once snapping his pathetic mug out of it, Raph launched his own attacks.

Less refined, more brutal, Raphael always preferred a bloodbath to a ballet, at least where he was concerned. For an odd moment, he wondered if it appeared poetic, him a berserker, Leonardo a dancer, so very different, yet working together in harmony. In the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but hope that the children took after Leo. The thought of any of those little ones ending up like him struggling through life was devastating. He wanted them to dance.

Perhaps ten or so of the other ninja were taken out, mostly taken by surprise, before the turtles were forced to retreat. Even with how pissed Raph was, allowing himself to take his feelings out on the enemy, they didn’t stand a chance. Not while so outnumbered and with little advantage. After throwing down a smoke bomb, they ended up racing to what had probably been an old elevator shaft but was left abandoned since the use would be unknown to the people of today. Without hesitation they leapt inside, having each pulled out their _shinobi shuko_ _. Monkeys were no doubt better climbers than turtles, but when Raph saw the rather malicious glint in his brother’s eyes, he knew this wouldn’t exactly be a fair fight…for the monkeys._

_They raced as fast as their limbs could carry them until they reached the next open door, roughly three levels up. By then they were kicking off their attackers, who were in hot pursuit. Making sure Leo escaped the shaft, Raph was just getting ready to jump out as well, when the shogun barked out, “Close the door!”_

_In one fluid motion the brute leapt out of the elevator shaft before turning to slam the door closed behind him. Just before he managed to shut it, however, an object was lobbed from behind, just making it inside before the metal doors were closed. It took only half a second more for the turtle to realize what he’d seen, and he leapt off to the side at the last second, away from the blast. The entire building shook, fire belching from out of the shaft, the shock wave throwing Raph a little farther away._

_As ceiling tiles fell, dust raining down on the turtles, they waiting for the building to right itself. And when Raph felt like it was safe to uncover his head, he got up with ringing ears and found Leonardo peeking out from behind the corner from another room._

_“Coulda warned me ya had a fuckin’ grenade,_ _” he spat irritably, a bit shaken, more from the war memories threatening to resurface. “Da fuck ya get that?”_

_“The Ancient One,” Leo half shrugged as he pulled out his katana again._

_“Ya got any more_ _I should be worried about?”_

_The shogun paused, reaching into his belt, before handing over what looked like an old German ‘potato masher,’ making the hothead wonder why he hadn’t noticed it before. But shoving that thought away, he took the grenade, staring at his brother questioningly._

_“That’s the last one,” Leo muttered, before turning back around, staring at the elevator. There were no monkeys coming out. Hopefully that would be the end of them._

_Hooking the ancient grenade into his belt, the brothers continued on, watching out for any more ninja. Raphael scanned the ceilings frequently, paranoid that there were more monkeys hanging out up there. With the use of explosions, it was a pretty good bet that Hebi and his men knew that there was some kind of trouble, and he hoped the snake hadn’t fled yet. He had a feeling that if the guy got away, Leo would chase after him like a man possessed, even if the battle was won. That thought scared him. Raphael wanted to end this today. For Leo’s sake._

_It had become oddly still once more as the turtles went up, hoping to reach the top before Hebi could flee. As they passed by a picture window, Raph couldn’t help but pause, looking out at the city below. While he couldn’t make out anyone specifically, he could see ant-like citizens scurrying about. There were what had to be soldiers rushing down, terrified civilians rushing up. Squinting, he tried to make out what was happening down by the wall, but it was too far. All he could see was smoke rising up from below. He wished he knew if that was a good or bad sign._

_“Come on,” Leo muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder, drawing him from his thoughts._

_Climbing up the elevator shaft to the next floor, they were just rounding a corner when mammals wielding guns came at them. “Shit!”_

Not expecting the modern tech – although he didn’t know why considering they had a fucking _nuke_ – Raph twisted out of the way at the last second from laser fire and into the next room. Snapping his head to the side, he found Leo having taken shelter near the shaft. They locked eyes, and without having to be told, the younger ninja sheathed his sai and pulled out Leonardo’s old katana. Adjusting his grip around the hilt, he turned back to his brother wearing a faint smirk, before nodding. Holding his breath, hoping he’d be skilled enough for this, the ninja took on their targets, deflecting the rather poorly aimed laser fire.

The men wielding the rifles were obviously novice at best and still clumsy. Every time a man shot, the recoil startled them, causing the men to jerk and forcing them to constantly readjust their grips. Some of them, too, were afraid to fire, jerking as they anticipated the recoil, which meant that their shots went wild. Smirking, Raph found he could deflect anything aimed his way, and once near enough to a man, he managed to rip a rifle out of the ram’s shaking hands before turning and unleashing hell upon the others.

Once more feeling in his element, the turtle smiled broadly as he took aim and shot anyone in his way. Leonardo served as his protection, deflecting shots in front of him, Raph covering the shogun from behind. They worked in tandem, slaughtering all in their path until there were very few soldiers with rifles left. Several ninja came after them, only a few were the monkeys from before – all be it, more singed than before – but the turtles were quick to get rid of them this time. Guns had become a specialty for Raphael after his tour with Mona Lisa, and he couldn’t help the smug swell of pride as he took in the bodies littered across the floor.

Throwing down the spent rifle he’d been using and picking up two discarded ones, he strapped one to his shell while wielding the other. While Leo stared at the rifles dubiously, he too couldn’t deny their usefulness, and did the same. Now better armed, the brothers continued on, Raphael snorting in amusement. It was almost like they were in fucking _Die Hard_ or something. And seeing Leo with a gun was pretty humorous considering he was Mister Ultimate Ninja. Although, he did look pretty sexy holding that rifle…

“Focus.”

Blinking back to himself, Raphael was reminded of where he was and what he was doing. Having his mind wander off was a sure way to get himself or his brother killed, and he couldn’t allow that. Not when there was so much riding on this mission. _And besides,_ that terrible, cynical half of his mind whispered, _you shouldn’t be thinking of him like that. He’s not yours._

A fresh wave of pain and hatred washed over Raph, his knuckles paling around the rifle as he threatened to bend the metal. But of course he couldn’t think of that either. Focus. He had to stay alert.

The building suddenly shook, causing the turtles to grab ahold of anything they could. Turning to look outside, Raphael watched the ground rolled in swells as if they were out at sea. An earthquake? Now? Managing to get to Leonardo, the big turtle grabbed his brother as they attempted to protect themselves from falling debris. Without thinking, Raphael hugged Leo against his plastron and held on tight, ensuring that his older brother’s head was sheltered as he curled around the shogun.

After the eternity of three minutes, the shaking subsided, leaving quite a bit of damage inside the building. What spare trinkets and shelves there had been were now on the floor, shattered. Still clinging onto Leonardo until he was absolutely certain another round wouldn’t begin, only when Raph felt the other ninja push against him did he loosen his grasp on the shogun. It was surprisingly more difficult than expected to relinquish the hold completely.

“We need to get moving,” Leonardo’s voice came out in a whisper, but he didn’t move away completely.

Staring down into the deep depths of blue, Raph felt his breath hitch. The two turtles locked eyes, panting against one another, and for just a split second, everything felt all right. It felt natural. And it was just so good to hold him in his arms again, so good to feel his pounding heart against his own plastron, so damn good to just _be_ …

“Come on.”

And the moment was ruined as Leo gave one last push and stood out of Raph’s grasp. He’d never felt so cold.

Struggling up to his feet, the younger ninja found the act harder than it should have been. Ignoring how his knees creaked, he leaned over and retried the rifle he’d flung away in order to grab Leo. “Fuckin’ quake,” he muttered.

Having retrieved his own rifle, the shogun shook his head warily. “Don’t think that was a quake.”

Raphael scowled. “If it wasn’t a quake, what da hell…” He trailed off, eyes wide, as he turned to stare out the window and toward the fortress holding the nuke. “Shit.”

“We need to keep moving,” Leo’s hard tone cut through the younger ninja’s worry. “We can’t worry about that right now.”

“The hell we can’t! That thing goes off, it don’t matter if we get Hebi, we’ll all be _dead_.”

Suddenly Raphael wasn’t so confident with the plan. Suddenly he wondered at the wisdom of leaving their brothers and friends alone to protect the one object that meant life or death for the entire world. That thing was more important than going after some guy…

A very troubling thought occurred to Raph as he watched his brother’s severe features and cold manner, as he ignored the possibility that the others were in danger and needed help. As Leo stalked away, Raphael rushed after despite knowing he should probably go help the others. He couldn’t leave Leonardo alone. Not if the turtle was so obsessed with killing Lord Hebi. He shuddered to think of the lengths Leonardo would go to in order to insure the snake was dead. At least with Raphael there, the bigger turtle could intervene if his brother tried committing any truly outrageous acts. He just hoped he wouldn't have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stielhandgranate (stalk hand grenade) or ‘potato masher’ was a German grenade used in both World Wars (although different models were developed and updated along the way). It really does look exactly like a potato masher. (Or at least it looks like the one I have)
> 
> [Sorry, my inner history nerd is showing, isn't it??]


	38. Demons Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael realizes there is still so much he doesn't understand.

It was quiet, the air thick and stagnant. The higher he went the sparser and more open the rooms became. And it set Raph’s teeth on edge.

He and Leo had been separated for at least ten minutes now after being attacked by more ninja dropouts and pathetic junior riflemen. In a mutual split second decision the brothers went different ways. Leonardo jumped out a window, leading the majority of the ninja away, while Raph was left to duke it out with the shitty hopeless gunslingers. It hadn’t taken long to neutralize the soldiers – all of them worse shots than the purple shirts in _Space Heroes_ – but to be fair, they were better than the guys they’d run into downstairs. But not by much. They still weren’t anything Raphael couldn’t handle on his own. In fact, a burn from a glancing shot was the worst injury he’d gotten thus far. Lord Hebi’s men left much to be desired.

Now he was skulking around the upper levels of the building, completely paranoid and slightly afraid for Leonardo. He hadn’t heard anything, there were no signs as to what had happened to the turtle at all. No bodies left discarded, no sign of any kind of struggle. Not that Raph could find. He’d been hoping to follow a trail that would lead him back to his brother, but thus far there was nothing.

The upper levels, unlike everywhere else they’d been within the building, was decorated completely in the traditional Japanese style. The _ranma_ were beautifully carved in intricate patterns and the _tatami_ floors were finely woven and dyed a dark red, almost maroon. There were exquisitely decorated _fusuma_ depicting stunningly realistic dragons breathing fire. Raph found himself impressed with the décor. It was not the home he would have expected of a man that was supposedly on the run, being chased by a furious shogun. But then again, what little he knew of Hebi from listening around, was that the guy was not only dangerous, but indulgent. He was, after all, a _daimyo_ fighting for the imperial throne. The fact that this place could almost pass as a palace shouldn’t be so surprising.

But while the area was beautiful, it was also far more spacious and open than a western style home, which meant that there were less places to hide. That being the case, when he heard footsteps, Raph scrambled into action, just managing to hide himself behind the _fusuma_ as several people entered the area. Holding his breath, counting down in his head, the turtle debated on whether or not he should attack or allow the men to pass. He was getting tired and he hadn’t even gotten to the main fight with Hebi. Taking rest would be a good idea. But if he let them go now, would he have to deal with them later when he’d possibly be overwhelmed?

As he argued with himself, the voices became clearer. “ – _you_ said it would be!”

A much gentler voice spoke up, a female voice, one that sounded young. “I-I told you he would not be easy to vanquish!” a girl pleaded, a whimper in her tone. “He is a demon! He will stop at nothing to avenge himself upon us all!”

At a resounding _slap!_ Raphael peeked out from around the screens in order to assess the situation. On the floor, kneeling before five or so men, was a young feline. She appeared awfully young to the turtle, perhaps only fourteen or fifteen years old. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, tan fur ruffled and unkempt. Even from where the turtle was hiding, he could see that her clothes were torn and dirty, leaving him with the terrible suspicion that this wasn’t the first time the girl had been struck like this, or treated so badly.

How the hell had she gotten mixed in with these ninja? For that’s what these men were from their garb. Another ninja team, feline this time. And as one of the men raised their arm to hit the girl again, Raph knew he couldn’t stand by and do nothing.

Without another thought, he leapted out from his hiding place, mowing down the felines in his path, killing two within seconds. The other three, however, having seen the big turtle barreling towards them unlike their companions, had better prepared themselves. In no time the battle had begun.

Unlike the monkey, these cats were of a higher caliber of ninjitsu. They were faster, stronger, and more ferocious. Idly, Raph wondered if it had anything to do with their predatory background, biologically speaking, but such thoughts were best left for after he’d killed them. He was no scientist and he was soon forced to admit that it was taking all of his concentration in fighting them. Just as he tried not to think about the possibility of his ninjitsu having gotten sloppy over the past year. While still in fighting condition and having fought terrible battles since leaving home, he hadn’t exactly been fighting like a ninja. This battle shouldn’t have been so hard, shouldn’t have left him with the dawning sensation of being overwhelmed.

After what felt like a small eternity, another feline fell by his sai, encouraging him. Three down, two to go. But these last two felines were fierce. Using their claws just as much as _tanto_ or _tekko-kagi_ , insured that it was brutal combat. None of the warriors used weapons that allowed for distance, forcing them close if they wished to inflict injury. Despite his hard shell and scales, claws and blades caught Raphael’s skin, splitting it open. While most were superficial, it still hurt. Their skills were impressive enough to get through his defenses. It was slowly becoming a boxing match for the big turtle as he punched and stabbed at the felines with his sai _,_ desperate to take them down and dance out of their range.

While he attempted to give himself some distance to either pull out the katana on his shell or even a rifle, the fight was too fast for the turtle to take the time to transition to a new weapon. The cats were on him like flies to honey, leaving no opportunity for their victim to do anything save defend himself as best as he could. Together they boxed Raphael into a corner, hissing furiously, slashing and stabbing. The _tekko-kagi_ wielder caught the turtle, causing Raph to shout as the metal shredded his arm, blood running down onto the floor, while the feline with the _tanto_ went in for the kill, blade aimed directly for the neck.

Before Raph could move his sai up to block, before the feline could claim victory, the _tanto_ fell clattering to the floor. Raph didn’t stop to watch as the feline’s eyes widened in pained horror, or as he spat up blood. Instead the turtle turned towards the little Shredder-wannabe, shouting as he stabbed the stunned feline through the throat. When he turned back to find the other cat, ready to understand what had caused him to falter and ready to dispatch him if need be, Raph watched as he fell to the floor. Attempting to look over his shoulder, dark eyes were wide with betray as they stared at the girl still holding the bloody knife she’d stabbing him in the back with.

“T-Tomoe Ame?” he groaned.

The girl was still crying, but there was a hardness in her eyes that bespoke of the loss of innocence. Her distress did not stem from having killed this man, there was no regret in her eyes as the ninja fell into a pool of his own blood. Instead, dark eyes watched pitilessly until all movement stopped, and the ninja breathed no more.

When it was clear the felines was dead, however, the girl turned away, sobbing. Raph watched her, trying to determine if she was a threat or not. True, she had helped to save him, but that didn’t mean she was an ally. There were plenty of other motives for helping him besides simply helping him.

When no immediate moves were made, Raph turned his attention to his arm. “Shit,” he muttered. He was losing quite a bit of blood. The claws from the _tekko-kagi_ had really messed him up. Hissing, he gave a precursory inspection, determining that it would be hell to fight with this arm. It would be a major liability.

Movement to the side and a gasp caught his attention. Snapping his eyes up, ready to fight, the turtle found the girl now being held hostage, katana held against her throat. “Leo,” Raph breathed, both relieved and concerned as his mind caught up with what he was seeing. Blue eyes were unnaturally cold and apathetic. Watching as the muscles in the jade wrist flexed, Raphael jumped forward, stopping his brother before he could finish the girl off. “Wait!”

The girl stood absolutely still, features painted with fear, but also acceptance. She was not surprised by the turn of events. She had to have known who was behind her, and her lack of resistance mixed with the hate burning in Leonardo’s eyes left Raphael feeling sick.

Grabbing his brother’s wrist, and shoving the girl back, ignoring the biting pain in his arm, the bigger turtle put himself between the two. He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but knew he couldn’t let Leo kill an innocent. He didn’t even care about the cut from the katana as he pried the sword away from the girl’s throat. “Wait! Wait, she saved my life.”

When neither party went after each other as they were separated, the girl fell to the floor in a low bow before the shogun while Leonardo glared down at her, arms at his sides. As he watched his brother, the younger ninja became uncomfortably aware of the not just the hate, but the lust for revenge shining in the usually serene oceanic orbs. This was not the Leonardo he knew. There was something Raphael didn’t know about here, something his brother hadn’t told him. “Leo?”

“Sh-Shogun-sama,” the girl spoke, voice quivering. “F-forgive me. Please, forgive me.”

“There is no forgiveness for traitors like you.”

There were no words to describe Raphael’s reaction to that statement other than horror. “Leo!” he exclaimed in shock.

The girl sunk deeper into her bow. “I have dishonored you. Dishonored Lord Noriyuki. Dishonored my family. Kill me so that I do no bring shame upon anyone else.”

Without hesitation, Leonardo raised his katana, but Raphael couldn’t let his brother do this. Perhaps the girl deserved death, perhaps this revenge would be satisfying, but Raph just couldn’t let this happen. Not with Leo. Not the turtle that had always served as his moral compass. It was hard enough to see this thirst for blood in his brother, but to watch him forsake all morality, all compassion, was excruciating.

“Stop,” he snarled, standing fully between his brother and the girl. “What the hell’s _wrong_ with ya?!”

“Get out of my way.” Leonardo’s voice was level, almost soft, but with hidden steel beneath.

Had he not had years of fighting and practice in standing in Leo’s way, Raph would have flinched at the look shot his way. Instead, however, he stood firm, chin raised in defiance as the familiar feel of rebellion flared to life. It had been a long time since he and Leo had had a true fight, a true disagreement where neither would back down. Thus far their interactions, everything that had passed between them here on this planet, had been rather minor, one or the other bending enough to back off. Not this time.

“What the hell she do ta deserve dyin’?” he questioned. “She saved my life a minute ago.”

“That doesn’t make up for past sins.”

“She don’t deserve this, Leo,” Raph snapped. “And ya know it.”

“After what she’s done, she deserves _worse_.”

His voice was so cold, so unfeeling that it was breaking the big turtle’s already busted heart. “Don’t care what she done. She’s just a kid and don’t deserve ta die like this.”

“You don’t know _anything_!” Leonardo spat, suddenly ever line in his body ridged with hate, eyes wild in manic rage.

It was so odd to be the rational one, the one that swallowed anger in order to be reasonable. But watching Leo slowly losing his grip on rationality forced the usually hotheaded turtle to step up, to take control of the situation. Shogun or not, Leonardo wasn’t perfect, and apparently the year away from earth had changed him much more than Raph was comfortable to admit.

“No, I don’t,” he admitted slowly, watching the fury ripple along his brother’s muscles. “But I do know this ain’t you, bro. Yer better than this.”

The gentle rebuke seemed to slap the older ninja across the face as he took a physical step back, eyes losing much of their hostility in favor of confusion, even hurt. But the anger returned with a vengeance, as Leo scowled up at Raphael. “ _She’s_ the one that let the enemy into the palace! It’s because of _her_ that the enemy infiltrated and kidnapped Lord Noriyuki! It’s because of _her_ that _our babies were stolen_ , Raphael! Doesn’t that mean _anything_ to you?”

Now it was the bigger turtle’s turn for a punch in the gut. Although it had been a question weighing on his mind, Raph hadn’t had much time to truly ponder how the children had been stolen away from Leonardo, nor who would have done such a thing. Only on the first day of finding his ex-lover had the topic come up, and after, with everything else going on, all the emotions and war preparations, he hadn’t gotten around to asking about what had actually happened.

Staring down at the girl with her face still to the floor, black hair obscuring her face from view, a curl of fury slowly coiled up the big turtle’s spine, wanting so badly to overtake him. The thought of anyone hurting his family, of someone willingly stealing _children_ in a play to gain power was revolting. It would be terribly easy to allow Leonardo to run the girl through with a katana. It would be so easy for him to stomp her into the floor, break her back, and keep beating her until every bone in her body was broken. It would be so easy, it was so tempting. He _wanted_ to do it. After all the heartache she had caused to the family, it was fair.

But she was still only a child. Fourteen or fifteen years old, a child that had been thrown into a scary, difficult position in the middle of a war. A child that realized her mistakes, was ready to accept the consequences of her actions. A child that was trying to make things right.

This wasn’t how they should make things right.

“This ain’t right, Leo,” Raph nearly whispered. “She’s just a kid.”

The continued resistance was obviously not expected, and frustration spread visibly across the elder ninja’s face. “She’s offered her life to me –”

“That don’t mean ya should take it!” Grabbing his brother’s shoulders, desperate to make Leo understand, to bring him _back,_ Raph gave a gentle shake. “Come on, Leo. Don’t do this. She deserves a second chance.”

“She _deserves_ to die!” Leonardo pulled out of his brother’s hands, appalled.

“Le –”

“You have no idea what she’s caused! You don’t love our children!”

It was a low blow, one that had the big turtle almost physically leaning over in pain. While Raphael had only come to know of the children’s existences a few days ago, had had even less time to be with them, to get to know them, he did love them. And when Raphael loved, it was fiercely. They were _his_ and he would kill anyone or anything in order to protect them. He would throw himself into the pit of hell without hesitation if he thought it would help those little ones!

But this? Letting his lover kill another child for a youthful mistake wouldn’t help anything. Glancing down at the shivering girl, for just a moment Raphael saw not the feline, but Mona Lisa. Miwa. Those two had hurt Leonardo, had betrayed him, stabbed him in the back, and the leader had found forgiveness in his heart for them. He had accepted Mona Lisa’s disloyalty, he had never given up on Karai.

Unwilling to wait any longer, Leonardo moved past his brother and towards the girl. Still staring at the floor, Raph reached out and latched onto his brother’s arm. The hold was loose, Leo could easily pull out of it if he wanted. But the shogun paused, the turtles shoulder to shoulder as Raph tried one last time to beseech the brother he knew and loved.

“Don’t lose sight of who you are.” If this was what Leo truly wanted, he would not stand in his lover’s way. “Is this really who you are?”

The two locked eyes, a battle of wills raging between them. But after a minute, and for the first time that day, blue wavered, melted, until they were filled with tears. One tear fell, and then another, before Leonardo turned away. Actual emotion broke free onto the hard mask, the face underneath betraying pain and frustration and anger. Ripping himself free from his brother’s grasp, Leonardo raised his katana and stabbed down wildly.

Raphael flinched, momentarily stunned, as the girl whimpered. The area became deathly silent. Shaking from any number of emotions, the shogun turned his back on both his brother and the feline. His shoulders were stiff, his body quivering.

“Leave,” came the quiet command.

From the floor, the girl scrambled to her feet, weeping in near hysterics as she stared at the shell of the shogun. She turned to Raphael, large eyes questioning, but he didn’t explain the English argument to her. Let her believe that the shogun was truly merciful. Instead, he jerked his head towards the door, hoping she would go while she could and make it out of this mess in one piece. He hoped that maybe one day she would be able to redeem herself.

A sob escaped the female as she bowed low to the turtles as she backed away out of the room. “Thank you, thank you, my lord! I will not disappoint you again! I will make this up to you, I will continue to do whatever I can to help Akio-san and sabotage the men. Thank you!”

As Leonardo grew tenser, Raph decided to intervene. “Just get outta here.”

With a few more bows, the girl turned and ran from the room. When she was gone, the brothers were left alone, Raphael unsure of how to proceed. He wasn’t used to such a situation. In the past, it had always been Leonardo talking some sense into him, calming him before he made a mistake he’d regret. Now…?

“Are you all right?”

The quiet question startled the big turtle from his musings. “What?”

When Leo turned around, he appeared mostly calm. There was a grave sadness to his expression, fatigue weighing on him. There were tear stains on his face, his eyes red and puffy, but he wasn’t crying anymore. The storm had passed.

“Your arm,” he nodded towards the still dripping appendage.

Raphael blinked down at it, only then remembering the wound. “Oh. Yeah, it’s good.”

The elder ninja walked over, blue eyes glued to the injury, even as he pulled out bandages from his belt. Wordlessly Raphael offered his arm, trusting his ex to tend to the laceration. As Leonardo tied it off, Raph flexed and rotated his arm to test the range of motion. The air between them was thick. Raph thought his brother would turn and continue on with the mission, would ignore the confrontation that had just past, but the shogun surprised him.

Suddenly Leonardo’s arms were around him, head buried into his chest. It only took a few seconds for Raph’s mind to catch up, and despite his wound, he wrapped his arms around his brother, squeezing him close. The two held on to each other, a real understanding of fear passing between them of what could have happened.

“I’m sorry.”

Raphael felt his heart break, as he leaned down, unable to stop himself from kissing the top of his lover’s head. “Don’t gotta be sorry.”

Leo shook his head, pushing himself just a little bit further into his younger brother’s plastron. “I’m sorry for everything.”

The words left an unsettling feeling rippling through the younger ninja, but he couldn’t divine what the words were meant to truly mean. Instead he held fast, wishing to offer what comfort he could give. “Yeah. Me too.”

It wasn’t long enough, not nearly long enough, before Leo pulled away. The loss of his lover from his arms was still so painful. But there was no time to worry about emotions and personal troubles. Following after his leader, Raphael tried to turn his mind towards the fight still to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What the heck is up with Tomoe Ame?!?!" - Patience, please. All will be explained in time. 
> 
> Also, the big Boss Battle with Hebi is up next, so stay tuned!


	39. The Serpant's Lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Raph face off with Lord Hebi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm alive. Sorry. Some personal stuff came up.  
> Hope you enjoy this!

If there was one thing Raph was dying for right about now, it was one of Don’s adrenaline shots. His arm _throbbed_ and he felt sore and tired all over. Under normal circumstances even Raphael would have to admit he wasn’t in fighting shape and needed to sit this fight out. No sleep, muscles aching, arm in tatters, he knew when he had reached the end of his limits.

But there was no time for rest, no time to recover strength. Standing outside the door of what could only be described as an executive suite, the brothers were tense, listening carefully. Inside was Lord Hebi, the guy that had started this whole mess. The one that had nearly driven his beloved brother insane with hate and filled him with a thirst for vengeance. This would be the final showdown, and Raphael found himself unexpectedly nervous.

“Don’t hesitate,” Leo breathed, voice almost inaudible even in the empty corridor. “He _dies_.”

Raph nodded. Over the past year he’d heard a lot of these speeches, some more eloquent than others. In the end, however, it all meant the same. This guy was dangerous, enough so that he couldn’t be taken alive. While it had always been their policy in their youth to give everyone a second chance, to not take a life, reality was often more complicated and forced them to compromise on their ideals. As ninja, they’d been taught the necessity of killing when called for. Soldiers often had to kill, in the defense and preservation of others, sacrifices had to be made. Leonardo had been given the authority to be judge, jury, and executioner, and as he had in their youth in concern to the Shredder, the Shogun had found this man guilty.

“Let’s do this.”

Without hesitation, Raphael kicked down the door, sai in hand and ready to go. The men in the room turned, some surprised, others down and ready. But there was one that had Raph pausing, struggling to keep the surprise from his own face.

In the center of the room, behind a large western-style desk, was the biggest snake Raphael had ever seen. Body up to fifteen feet long, thick as a tree trunk, yellow eyes glittering maliciously, Lord Hebi was a haunting depiction of Satan himself. Rows and rows of sharp teeth greeted the turtle as the serpent smiled, eyes raking over the ninja lazily.

“Well,” the snake hissed, amusement coloring his baritone. “I am impressed. You certainly know how to make an entrance, Shogun.”

Raphael held his glare, waiting for Leonardo to speak. When the elder turtle said nothing, it took a moment longer for Raph to realize with a small sense of horror that his brother was not here. Leonardo had in appearances buggered off, leaving Raphael to stand in the middle of a room full of dangerous assassins, injured and not entirely prepared for what they might throw at him, alone.

But rather than to give away how unnerved he currently was, refusing to show how weak he truly felt, Raph narrowed his eyes at the snake, hoping to play the strong silent type. While disconcerting, wishing Leo had a least _talked_ to him about the disappearing act first, he knew better than to believe his brother had completely abandoned him. This was yet another trick of the Shogun to gain the element of surprise. And so far, the hothead thought ruefully, the surprise had certainly worked!

“I must say,” the snake continued when the turtle refused to speak, uncurling his massive body with deceptively languid motion as his eyes continued to inspect the ninja’s muscles. “The stories of you were not exaggerated. Although, I must admit, I am disappointed. I expected something a little more…refined from you,” yellow eyes hardened in distaste.

Bristling at the insult, Raph was unable to stop himself from snapping, “Yeah? And here I was expecting someone a little better _armed_.”

Apparently the joke was old and struck a nerve. Enough so that Hebi actually hissed threateningly at him, fangs bared to give the turtle an eyeful of the pain to come. It only made the young ninja grin.

“A wit,” Hebi sneered, long body hunching over in preparation to strike. “But it is time for you to die, Shogun.”

And like well practice choreography, the ninja around the _daimyo_ sprang into action. Toughening up, ignoring the pain in his arm, the turtle blocked the other warriors as best he could. It took a minute or two, but when the passion that made him such a dangerous fighter took hold, Raph became a ferocious killer, dispatching the four ninja with all the speed he could muster in his current state.

When they were lying dead on at his feet, drowning in their own blood, Raph snarled up at the snake who was now left unprotected. “That all ya got?”

The snake stared at him, eyes glittering as he watched the fight. When his minions were defeated, Hebi nodded his massive head, as if evaluating a student. “Impressive. But not good enough if you think you could defeat me so easily,” Hebi smirked. “Attack the Shogun!”

There was a pause, Raph looking around expectantly, waiting for something to happen. Several men came from conjoining rooms, at least twenty-five. As they surrounded the snake, however, there was an awkward pause, as if the _daimyo_ was expecting something more. Were more men with guns supposed to come in?

Only a beat later the room startled at the _clanking_ of chains falling from the ceiling. Looking up, Raph couldn’t help but smile. Leonardo leapt down from the height, landing in a crouch before his brother, the mutilated corpses of the remaining ninja dangling in the chains from above. Blood dripped down raining on them all.

“Ah!” Hebi beamed, eyes bright as he beheld the new arrival. “ _Nozomashikunai._ I knew you could not disappoint me.”

Leonardo didn’t bother to speak, and without checking to see if Raph was ready to continue the fight, he charged forward at the snake. At the last possible second, he pivoted to the left, slicing through the ninja that stood unprepared. Not to be outdone and still insulted by what the _daimyo_ had implied about him, Raph was determined to show the creep that he wasn’t lacking in skill. Like the good ol’ days, the brothers were battling together, slicing through the challenges in front of them in a silent competition to determine who was the best.

Now jacked on adrenaline, the scent of blood and the cries of his victims thrilling Raph to no end, excitement coursed through his veins. Fighting like this, watching his leader tear through the enemy without hesitation, was something like a dream. This is what he’d always wanted – to never go easy on the enemy. It was almost a turn on to see Leonardo let loose, not holding back. In any other situation, Raph would have stepped back to admire the leader.

It was dangerous to become distracted, however, and the younger brother turned his full attention to the battle. Eventually the enemy ninja pulled back, realizing that they were unmatched in terms of skill against the two enraged turtles. Lord Hebi, instead of slithering away to hide or flee the fight, or even appearing upset, watched with interest. And when there was a lull in the action, the brothers eyed the _daimyo_ distrustfully while they panted.

“I see you’ve found the Ancient One,” the snake nodded towards Leonardo. “I do hope you realize that won’t help you.”

Pointing a katana toward the serpent, Leonardo’s voice came out in a low growl that under normal circumstances would have had Raphael interested. “Surrender to me now, Hebi, and I’ll give you a swift end.”

That had the _daimyo_ throwing back his head laughing. It was chilling, seeming to echo around the room to mock them with his confidence. It made Raph’s scales itch. “How arrogant,” he sneered at Leonardo. “Do you honestly believe you can stop me? I have a weapon you can’t _possibly_ imagine.”

“It’s being destroyed as we speak,” Leo retorted, holding the gaze of the snake while Raph made sure the other ninja around them weren’t trying to make a move. “My army is hammering away at your city. It’s over.”

Despite his frown at the news, Hebi didn’t seem particularly aggravated with the information either. In fact, if Raph didn’t know any better, he’d say the bastard had something up his sleeve. “Is that right?” he murmured, before adopting a more thoughtful expression as he studied the Shogun. “I understand you have three infants.” Leonardo stiffened visibly, causing a slow smile to slither onto the snake’s maw. “I’m sorry I never got to meet them in person. I’m sure they are _delicious_.”

The Shogun snapped. With a snarl, Leo launched himself at the _daimyo,_ leaving Raphael to take care of the other ninja alone. Together they had taken out roughly half, but as tired as he was, as outnumbered as they were, Raphael forced himself to move, hoping to get his second wind. The horrifying thought of this twisted fuck wanting to _eat_ their children helped spur the injured turtle on. The idea was beyond appalling, and Leonardo’s thirst for blood began to make much more sense. Was this a threat that had been hanging over his lover’s head all this time? Was it because of this reason the normally rational turtle had been pushed beyond his patience?

Raph wanted Hebi dead. Any ounce of compassion he might have had, any smidges of doubt he’d had in simply killing the _daimyo_ was wiped away. He wanted to rip out the bastard’s heart himself.

There was never a break in the battle. One second Raph stabbed a man through the chest, the next he was crushing another’s face into the wall. Someone caught him by the edge of his shell, managing to smash his face into their knee before spinning him towards their ally’s axe. Thankfully Raph managed to come out of the daze to grab the handle of the axe and shoving it up. It missed his face and anything vital, but it grazed the top of his head. The sting was barely registered by the turtle as he was forced to continue the fight, ignoring the trail of blood that ran down the side of his face.

The longer the battle continued, however, the sharper his focus became. Each new injury sustained, the clearer his senses became. The instinct of self-preservation battled with the will to conquer. He could hear every movement, his nostrils filled with the scent of blood and sweat. His heart hammered against his plastron furiously, adrenalin still poisoning his system. This was do or die. If he slowed down, if he lost focus, it was all over.

When Raphael wasn’t looking, too busy picking up a skinny little bitch and breaking his spine across his knee, a _kunai_ was thrown, piercing him through his wrist. Bellowing in rage and pain, the turtle stumbled backwards after dropping the screaming ninja he’d been holding. Absolutely livid, he tore the blade from his wrist and sent it flying back at its owner in the blink of an eye. It was deflected by a _tanto_ but because the cat was forced to raise his blade to ward off the _kunai_ , he was ill prepared for the turtle who had launched himself at the feline, savagely beating him into a pulp.

Apparently having watched as the turtle gouged out the feline’s eyes with his thumbs was enough to make the other ninja step back to reassess their enemy. They’d taken it too far and now had awoken the beast that Raph had always tried to keep in check. The gloves were off and anyone would be hard pressed to subdue him now.

As Raph and his opponents came to a momentary pause, a furious battle continued in the background. Raph blinked when he saw Leonardo flying across the room. Despite the hard hit, Leo still managed to curl up and land on his feet, popping back up and ready to face Hebi in an instant. Glancing back at the snake who was hissing insanely, fangs bared, poised to strike, it was clear to see that the Shogun had left his marks on the _daimyo._

While the Shogun’s full attention was on the snake, Raph knew it was his job to distract the ninja from serving their master. Everyone in the room knew that that was the plan. So instead, he sprang at the _daimyo_ , hoping to take the maniac by surprise. Unfortunately for Raph, despite the serpent’s massive size, he was fast. Much faster than Raphael could have predicted. And for all his rage, Hebi was more skilled. One minute Raph was attempting to plunge his sai into the bastard’s tail, the next it was gone, the _daimyo_ having the turtle wrapped in his coils. Being squeezed to death wasn’t how Raph had envisioned his demise.

While trapped, Raph was given the chance as he struggled with the overwhelming strength of the snake to witness Leonardo facing off with the remaining ninja in the room. Watching his brother’s every graceful move was like watching a ballet. He was magnificent. And it was with sobering comprehension that Raph realized just how far behind his older brother he’d gotten. He wasn’t sure he’d ever catch up.

“Pathetic!” Hebi’s snarl turned Raph’s attention back to his own problems. “You think you can really stop me?! It’s too late! By the end of this evening, _I_ will be emperor! Your armies will be ash!”

Arms pinned at his sides, weapons lost, feet dangling and useless, there was nothing Raphael could do to get out of the coils of the snake. The more he thrashed, the weaker he felt, the air being squeezed out of his lungs slowly. He was being suffocated.

A sudden _CLANG!_ resounded when Leo had somehow figured out how to spring a trap within the room. The floor began to fall away, sending the remaining ninja desperate to leap to safety. Hebi’s eyes widened in shock as he only just managed to wrap himself around the desk, before he fell down into the pit, unintentionally saving Raphael along with him. Leo was safely clinging to the wall with the _shinobi shuko_ in hand. With everyone so distracted, Raph managed to wiggle himself a little looser in Hebi’s grasp before biting down into the snake’s thick skin as hard as he was physically able.

The unexpected attack left the _daimyo_ shouting, muscle involuntarily easing, as if to escape the source of pain. It was just enough that the turtle could break free of the hold while the floor returned after depositing the henchmen into the bowels of the building. There were only three ninja left beside the turtles and the snake. “Block the doors!” Raph barked out to his brother, knowing it would buy them a little time should the daimyo call for more aid.

For once Leo didn’t hesitate to follow his order. Instead, while Raph raced to locate his fallen sai, the Shogun grabbed whatever he could, chairs, broken off pieces from the beams above, to block the side entrances, all the while slashing and taking out the remaining ninja that dared to stand in his way. Hebi came at Raph hard and fast, but before he managed to tear a chunk out of the turtle’s shell, the ground shook violently as if another earthquake was rolling through the city. It was more powerful than the last and lasted much longer. It left the fighters unsteady, except for Leo, of course, who took the opportunity to kill the remaining ninja before sprinting at Hebi.

Seeing him coming, the snake corrected his position to strike at the Shogun. But instead of facing Hebi head on, Leo went low, and Raph didn’t hesitate to launch his own attack high. While Raph managed to catch the _daimyo_ in the head, Leo’s aim wasn’t for the snake, but the desk. Kicking as hard as he could, he managed to send it skitting across the room, effectively blocking the main entrance.

By the time Hebi recovered himself, both brothers were standing beside one another, bleeding and heaving for breath. But neither was about to give up, resolved to end this. Seeing their determination must have shaken the serpent on some level as he curled protectively into himself.

“More of my men will come,” the snake threatened.

“Let them come,” Leonardo spat.

“You cannot possibly win. You will not be leaving from this room.”

Blue eyes narrowed to chips of ice. “I may not, but neither will you.”

And once more the fight was on. Leo charged Hebi, leaping to the left at the last second and coming in for a jab at the neck from below. Hebi twisted his way out of the attack, and came at Leo from the top.

Raph wanted to join, watch his brother’s back, but the momentary lapse in the fight had allowed his injuries to catch up to him. Stumbling back as a wave of dizziness accosted him, it took everything he had to stay on his feet. Blinking back the darkness that crept into the edge of his vision, Raph startled when he heard banging on the doors. Reinforcements had arrives. It wouldn’t take them long to get in. They needed to end this.

Bracing himself, shaking away the dizziness, Raph jumped in where he could. Finding a weak point was difficult despite Hebi not having much in the way of weaponry. The snake had managed to curl his tail around a flail to wield against them, but the real danger was his teeth. Long and sharp, they could bite through their shells if a proper opening was gained.

It was frustrating how little Raph found himself actually able to do. Instead of helping, he found himself leaning against the wall, gasping as he struggled to stay upright. His left arm gave out completely, the large hole in his wrist finally making the entire arm useless. And with all the injuries he’d sustained to his right shoulder from being tossed about and crushed by the snake left the right arm shaking violently. He knew he had other wounds, but refused to acknowledge them. If he did, he wasn’t sure he could stay conscious.

When Hebi managed to wrap himself around Leonardo, however, and began beating him mercilessly against the floor over and over again, Raph remembered the grenade in his belt. Hooking his sai in his belt, he pulled the ancient looking device and ripped the bottom cap off with his teeth. When he saw the bead hanging down, he forced his left arm to move, gripping it in his hand and yanking down with all the strength he could muster with a cry of pain.

Lobbing it the _daimyo_ with his right, he called out, “IN COMING!”

Seeing the projective aimed at him, Hebi instinctively slithered out of the way, abandoning Leonardo to fend for himself. Seeing the grenade, Leo scrambled to find what cover he could, Raph doing the same. While clearly not understanding what the object was, the snake was smart enough to know from their reactions that it would not be good and he had to find cover.

When the grenade went off, the entire room shook, filling with smoke, dislodging beams and other various structure around them. Having been in such a small enclosure, the sound was amplified brutally, piercing the eardrum. Head buzzing, vision swimming, Raphael felt numb as he tried to get up. He was dazed, confused for a moment, as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Squinting through the smoky haze, trying the shake himself out of the shell shock, he was too slow to get out of the way when Hebi came out of nowhere.

Crying out in pain as hard muscle once more began crushing the life out of him, Raph was helpless to defend himself as the daimyo began beating him into the walls viciously. There was no control, no restraint. Bleeding, a large open wound in his side, the bastard was out for blood, now fighting for all or nothing. Over and over and over again Raph was thrown about like a ragdoll, beaten and pummeled, unable to scream as the air was pressed from out of his lungs.

He was losing consciousness, there was no way he could fight it anymore. But he tried anyway. The ringing in his ears still left him deaf, and he felt more than heard when his shell cracked. He knew he screamed, couldn’t stop it, nor did he care, but vaguely wondered if any sound came out at all. All there was, was pain. Everything hurt, and he knew he was shutting down. This was it. This was the end.

Using all of his strength, Hebi slammed Raphael into a stone wall. Raph gasped, eyes wide as he watched pieces of his shell flitter down to the floor like feathers. It was as though everything begun to move in slow motion. As his eyes rolled back into his head, he caught a glimpse of Leonardo’s horror-stricken face. Was he crying? Raph couldn’t tell. But as he fell to the floor, Hebi done with him, the last thing he knew he would ever hear was the heartbroken cry of his beloved brother.

“ _RAPHAEL_!!”

Hearing the concern, the anguish, was enough proof for him that Leonardo still cared. Despite all the fights, all the arguments, in the end, Leo still loved him in some capacity. And as the world faded away, Raphael decided that that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay friends! One more chapter to go. It is done, just needs to be looked over, so it'll be posted this week! Look for the next story coming soon!


	40. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle is over and the group looks towards home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! Thanks everyone for all your kind words and kudos and for reading! You all helped tremendously in keeping me going.

The wind blew across the open field, grass swaying gently around the group that stood saying their final farewells in the valley. As he looked across the faces he had come to know and love, Leonardo couldn’t help the pang of sadness burning in his chest. Because he knew that there was a very real chance that he might never see them again.

“Are you certain you cannot stay a while longer?” Lord Noriyuki, now heir apparent to the Dragon Throne, asked. “You and your friends are more than welcome to stay. It would be an honor to host you.”

Glancing to the side, Leo took in the deathly prone figure of Raphael laying on his plastron on the stretcher they had jerry-rigged for travel. Donatello was leaning over their brother, a concentrated frown on his lips. Things weren’t going well. Their brother had showed little signs of life for days. Even before Donnie shot him a look, Leonardo wasn’t the least bit tempted by the repeated offer.

“Thank you,” Leo bowed to the soon-to-be Emperor, “but we cannot dely. We must get Raphael proper medical treatment. Immediately.”

The panda nodded solemnly, staring over at the prone turtle, covered head to toe in bandages, the scales still visible a dull, ashy color. The young lord’s expression crumpled in concern he could no longer hide, before he turned back to the shogun, nodding gravely. Beside him Tomoe Ame stepped closer to the young lord, as if wishing to provide comfort. Leonardo couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at the girl, still unsure how he felt at having her around the boy. She’d betrayed them once in a very big way, he wasn’t sure it was smart to trust her again so easily.

But when her frightened expression met his, the feline’s ears drooped back as she looked away, face paling. At least the turtle knew that she would be on best behavior for a while. It had been made clear that if she took even a small misstep out of line, she would be dealt with swiftly and severely. The fact that she was not even under some kind of house arrest or on probation was far too lenient in Leo’s opinion. But then again, he wasn’t in charge of such things anymore. Let Lord Noriyuki make his own decisions. He would be Emperor very soon, after all.

“Leonardo.”

Turning back towards Donatello, the shogun’s eyes were drawn to Raphael, who was beginning to convulse. Fear tore through the older turtle’s heart, but it did not reflect on his face. “Go,” he ordered. “I’ll follow in a moment.”

As Donnie contacted the Fugitoid to beam them up, the others stood by with grim expressions, just as frightened at the prospect of losing Raphael. Mikey was shaking as he held onto Mizuki, cuddling the girl close for comfort. While April and Casey held onto Yoshi and Sachiko respectively, the eldest turtle watched as his family was beamed away onto the ship. Hopefully Donnie would be able to do more for Raphael there. Only time would tell.

When the others were away, Lord Noriyuki and Tomoe Ame watching in obvious amazement, Usagi stepped forward from beside the shogun. “I will return as soon as I can, _dono_ ,” he bowed deeply to the young panda.

Ripping his eyes away from the place where the others had been to force his attention to the rabbit, the child nodded. “Do not trouble yourself, Usagi-san. With General Matsumoto and Tomoe Ame-san here, I will be fine. Help Shogun-sama for as long as he needs it.” Turning to the turtle, he bowed deeply. “You will always be welcome in my home, Shogun-sama. You and all your house.”

Bowing in return, Leonardo waited a moment before straightening. “Thank you, _Tenno_.” The child blushed in pleased embarrassment, not quite able to hide his smile. “But we must go. Take care. Perhaps we will see one another again someday.”

“I hope so. Farewell, Shogun-sama.”

Breaking tradition, the panda leapt forward, crushing the turtle in a hug, which Leonardo returned heartily. He hated to leave the child alone in these turbulent times, but his own family needed him now. He’d been away from home too long. When they broke apart, the Shogun giving the new emperor one last smile, Tomoe Ame ushered the panda back towards the camp where Matsumoto Tamotsu was waiting with the other royal guards. It had been agreed earlier that the fewer witnesses to the beam out, the better.

Now that they were alone, the Ancient One stepped towards her student, dark eyes glittering. “Farewell, Leonardo-san,” she bid. “You have always borne a heavy burden upon your shoulders – you always will. Do not forget to take care of yourself.”

Not sure why, Leo felt his heart sink as the truth he’d always desperately tried to ignore was reminded to him. “I will remember,” he promised.

“You are not alone, Leonardo-san,” the old kame reminded him gently. Beside him, Usagi nodded adamantly, even stepping closer to his friend in comfort. Leo couldn’t help how his heart beat a little faster at the action, even as he refused to look at the rabbit.

Perhaps the others might have found it odd, but when the Ancient One opened her arms for a hug, Leo wasn’t surprised, nor did he hesitate. Kneeling down before the old woman, he embraced her, wondering not for the first time if this was what it might have felt like to have had a mother. And as the Ancient One squeezed him tight, she whispered in his ear. “Do not forget to allow yourself happiness, Leo-chan. You know what you desire. Do not forget what you know.”

When he pulled away, all the young kame could do was nod in obedience, unable to meet the wise old eyes before him. “ _Hai_ , Sensei.”

And with Usagi helping him up, the Ancient One smiled at her pupil fondly. “I want to see those babies again,” she demanded, scowling up at the taller turtle. “Return one day!”

Leo couldn’t help the small smile that shadowed his lips as he signaled to the ship. “ _Hai_ , Sensei.”

“And bring _more_ next time. You make pretty babies!”

Nearly choking on air, Leonardo stared at his teacher in horror. The last he saw of her was her amused smile and knowing eyes as he and Usagi were beamed aboard the Fugitoid’s ship.

After a year away, lost in a world not his own, he was finally going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "WTF?! WHAT HAPPENED DURING THE LAST BATTLE?! HOW DID IT END?! WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE NUKE?! IS RAPH GUNNA BE OKAY???!!!" 
> 
> For answers to these questions a more, stay tuned for the next story of this series entitled: "Letting You Go". It will be posted very soon. Cheers!


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